Ch.87First Experience

Serin smiled brightly as we unexpectedly met. Her smile, like a fresh spring flower in bloom, was adorned by the twilight glow. That seemingly innocent smile had something transcendent about it.

“Rahilt wouldn’t know. How much I’ve struggled all this time.”

Serin grumbled. However, given that she’d been avoiding me lately, there was a limit to how much I could sympathize with her complaints.

“The person who didn’t give me a chance to know was none other than you, Serin.”

“What? Me?”

“I misspoke.”

I hastily corrected my reflexive complaint. It wasn’t right to express my disappointment when I had no proof that Serin was deliberately avoiding me.

“I don’t think so. I’ve never seen Rahilt misspeak before.”

“That’s not… necessarily true.”

“You’re so modest. How much more perfect are you trying to become?”

“… Please don’t tease me, Serin.”

Serin is skilled at drawing people into her pace. After just a bit of conversation, I’d find myself dancing to her tune. It didn’t feel bad at all, which sometimes made me question myself.

She looked me straight in the eyes.

“If you don’t like being teased, just say so. Don’t I know you, Rahilt? We’ve known each other for quite some time now.”

“That’s… true.”

I was suddenly reminded of Serin’s past, when she was brought to us bound by a mercenary underling. I remembered how this usually confident woman trembled, acutely aware of the threat to her life. The deadly poison developed by the Ruat Marquis family was truly formidable.

Back then, I expected my connection with Serin would end within ten days.

I would do my best to clean up my subordinate’s wrongdoing, and Serin would return to the imperial palace as soon as possible. That was the extent of our intertwined interests at the beginning.

‘It was simple curiosity…’

What kind of person would a girl raised in the brilliant palace that her birth parents couldn’t let go of be? I was just curious about that, so I volunteered to be her guard myself. I could have assigned a suitable subordinate.

But I never expected that decision would lead to this outcome. As if bound by the chains of fate, we ended up encountering each other frequently.

‘A miracle… yes, I could call it a miracle.’

It’s a miracle that I formed a connection with someone as remarkable as Serin.

It’s a miracle that we weathered tumultuous days together.

It’s a miracle that we met in the first place, in whatever form.

Realizing that the world has beautiful colors is also a miracle. And even coming to love this harmonious world is a miracle brought by Serin.

Everything related to her was a miracle.

In my childhood when I longed for a pinwheel, my world was all black and white, making it difficult to distinguish the colors of objects. Rodrick and Eshtiel breathed faint pigments into my world. And now, as time has passed, Serin has painted it with vivid, beautiful colors.

She taught me the charm of a night sky with falling stars, and that someone’s figure walking through a meadow could be beautiful.

She tore apart the lineage heading toward destruction and gave me a new future.

Now it was hard to imagine daily life without Serin.

Perhaps that’s why I dared to feel disappointed about the reality that Serin had been unilaterally avoiding me lately.

“Hey, Rahilt.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Are you really not going to tell me? Why your lips are pouting like a mountain.”

“…”

“Now you’re completely tucking your lips in? Is that how you use that handsome face? Do you think I’ll fall for that?”

I understood her frustration. Still, I couldn’t easily open my mouth. Voicing my complaints without justification would only make her uncomfortable.

“Goodness. Rahilt, do you know something?”

“What… are you referring to?”

“Right now, you’re acting just like a romance novel male lead.”

“Is that… alcohol?”

Surely “male lead” was the name of an alcohol that Serin liked. However, Serin’s furrowed eyebrows directly contradicted my knowledge.

“… Not that kind of male lead, but anyway.”

She composed herself and spoke.

“Romance novel protagonists, regardless of whether they’re male or female leads, are terrible at communication. Then misunderstandings pile up, they run away, families fall apart, society crumbles—all because they just keep their mouths shut. Wow, what an achievement, right?”

“I-is that so? That is impressive, as you say.”

“Oh come on, it’s not impressive at all!!!”

Serin sharply rebuked me, who understood less than half of what she was saying.

“I’m talking about you. Are you trying to start a new regret-filled romance novel with me just because the genre changed? But actually, I think I might be the one with regrets. It’s all because I’m in the weaker position, sigh.”

“I-I’m sorry…”

I automatically apologized, overwhelmed by her momentum. But Serin’s voice only continued to rise.

“If you’re sorry, then let’s be open with each other! Haven’t I known you longer than the Second Prince? Aren’t we quite close? Are we still not at a point where we can listen to each other’s concerns?”

“N-no, that’s not it. I mean… Serin’s opinion is… very valid.”

“Then!!! Just!!! Speak!!! Your!!! Mind!!! You frustrating Rahilt!!!”

Huff, huff.

Serin took deep breaths. She seemed to have reached her lung capacity limit from ranting at me.

To think she could get physically exhausted. My sin was great.

“…… What could be so embarrassing and shameful that you’re acting like this?”

“It is embarrassing and shameful… but I kept it buried because I thought sharing it might be disrespectful.”

“So, are you now willing to dig up what you buried?”

“… Yes. That’s my intention.”

“You’ve made a very good decision.”

Finally, she smiled brightly. Indeed, Serin was always someone whose emotions were vividly displayed.

I moved my lips several times before confessing my true feelings to this honest Serin.

“…… I was very anxious.”

“Anxious? Why suddenly…”

As Serin pressed, I felt my face flush. Looking back, the reason seemed too trivial and foolish.

But since I had already mentioned it, the conversation proceeded inevitably.

“Recently, I had the feeling that Serin was intentionally avoiding me.”

“…… Ah.”

“I couldn’t guess why. I only inferred that the fault must lie with me. Though I’ve recently received excessive favor, the truth is that I’m a person busy hiding my flawed inner self.”

“…”

“So I didn’t know what to fix or how, and I became a little scared.”

What if she had grown tired and left?

What if the friendship we had built had become burdensome?

Numerous assumptions constantly crossed my mind.

“If I was bad enough for Serin, who had thought well of me, to leave… then perhaps the next to leave might be Rodrick or…”

…

……

“…… Eshtiel. I was gripped by such anxiety.”

After those words, we were silent for a while. She might have been wondering if my confession would continue.

“That’s all.”

That’s why I deliberately ended my words explicitly, turning my gaze downward diagonally so I couldn’t see Serin’s face.

I was afraid of what she might say next.

She might dismiss my concerns as gloomy. Even if she didn’t express it verbally, there was plenty of room for disappointment. That’s why I didn’t want to look directly at Serin.

“… Ha.”

A sigh.

When that low breath lingered in my ear, I was startled by the sensation of my heart dropping.

The worst-case scenario already flashed through my mind. It felt like the ground beneath me was sinking.

Due to my uselessly powerful imagination pushing me, I reflexively tried to apologize.

“I’ve been rude, I’ve committed a…”

“What are you trying to do?”

Too late.

Her voice, seemingly devoid of emotion, had already completed the sentence.

My body flinched.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Haah…”

As her sigh dissipated into the air once more.

“Really… how can you be worse at this than even a mediocre romance novel male lead…”

A warm sensation settled on my cheek. Surprised by that warmth, my gaze unconsciously captured Serin, who was smiling bitterly as if pitying me.

“No, how far do you bury yourself in negative imagination over something like that? I know I’m the same, but Tiel is too much. But since this is my fault, I can’t even get angry or raise my voice…”

“It’s not… Serin’s fault.”

“Even in this situation, you’re defending me… that’s so like you…”

“…”

As I closed my mouth, Serin opened hers instead.

“Of course you can be curious. You have every right to ask. Our relationship is at least that close. I’d be hurt if you weren’t curious.”

“I… see.”

“And yes, I did avoid Rahilt.”

“…… I… see.”

“But that doesn’t mean you should keep digging yourself deeper.”

Serin seemed about to say something more but bit her lip. After appearing to be in deep thought, she spoke again.

“I wanted to tell you in a more atmospheric place, in a more impressive way, but this is difficult. This is my first time too, so I’m clumsy, and my luck is terribly bad… my patience is reaching its limit.”

“What… are you talking about…”

“What else could it be?”

As she answered nonchalantly.

“I’m saying I like you.”

Serin wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly.

“In case you didn’t understand, I’ll express it properly.”

Her blue eyes reflected me with a burning intensity.

“I, love, Rahilt, very very much.”

For a moment, my breath stopped. As if reading my inner thoughts checking for any other meaning, she drove the point home perfectly.

“For reference, it’s not the affection of family or friends, but the love used between spouses.”

“…”

It didn’t make sense.

It seemed unreal that this miracle that suddenly appeared one day was confessing love to me.

Serin was such a close yet distant person that it was difficult to accept her confession even after hearing it.

“That can’t… be.”

It would be an insulting lie to dismiss this as a moment I’ve never desired. I have secretly wished for Serin to stay by my side.

But I couldn’t muster the courage.

Then and now, I… wasn’t worthy of standing beside her.

So my lips moved on their own, suppressing my desire.

“I’m sorry. Serin… deserves to be with someone better than me…”

“Good grief, how can your lines be exactly as I imagined?”

She cut me off.

“Mmph…!?”

By the time I realized it, she had already pressed down on the nape of my neck with powerful strength.

My center of gravity suddenly tilted forward.

Our faces drew closer.

Serin’s features came into sharp focus.

And then.

Our lips met softly, gently sharing body heat.

When the gap between us slightly widened, I froze, trembling at the lingering surreal sensation.

“Like this… I, I… dare not…”

“Yes, well. It’s not like I’ve only seen Rahilt once or twice.”

“How…”

“Did I think you’d understand with just one time?”

Serin let out a faint sneer and pounced like a wolf cornering its prey. And like savoring her captured prey, she slightly bit and licked my upper lip.

Following that slightly stinging moment, a smooth predator invaded through the gap between my parted lips, wildly teasing my insides.

I surrendered myself to a dreaminess I had never experienced before.

“… Whoa.”

“Haah…”

Afterward.

After fully unleashing her greedy affection on me, Serin barely took a step back.

Her figure, slightly licking her lips as if regretful, was unbearably seductive.

Soon she moved her wet lips.

“I’ve lost my innocence to Rahilt like this.”

“…”

“Now I have no other choice. Right?”

“…”

“You’ll take responsibility, won’t you?”

Her curved eyes and lips were forcing a single answer.

Rendered helpless by a single surprise attack, I answered as if entranced.

“…… Yes.”

As I said this, I brought my hand to my lips, which still retained the moist sensation.

It was my first experience.