Ch.87Chapter 87: Making Even the Darkest Memories Something to Smile About

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On snowy days… especially when pure white snow falls, untouched by volcanic ash, magical beings cease their activities.

This is one of the facts I learned through experience in the time before my regression—a time that now only I remember.

It was a peculiar situation caused by the demon god who, at this hour, would be sound asleep in the obsidian palace beyond those mountains—a being who greatly adored white snow.

This is no lie; I heard it directly from the being in question.

There were actually times when I received orders not to engage in any activities. No magical being would be bold enough to act against their master’s policy, even while they slept, so today should be relatively worry-free.

As that thought crossed my mind, memories replayed in my head of moments when the demon god who treated me like a plaything somehow seemed almost endearing.

The memory begins in the darkest, deepest chamber of the obsidian palace—a place that absorbed all light from the sky above and emitted an ominous glow in return.

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The obsidian palace, which absorbed all light to use as nourishment and then emitted it back as an eerie radiance, was glowing with its invariably ominous colors.

The place where this ominous color shone brightest was the royal chamber situated in the deepest part of the palace.

In the center of this space, designed for a born ruler to conduct official business, stood a solitary throne crafted from obsidian, just like the palace itself.

The throne’s rightful occupant was surrounded by pitch-black mist, yet still managed to display an eerily dazzling brilliance.

“Haaah…”

A figure whose silhouette was barely visible through the pitch-black mist sat on the throne, letting out a faint sigh.

By the time I noticed that despite being surrounded by black mist, the breath from their mouth was forming white wisps…

The scenery outside this obsidian magical realm appeared directly in front of the throne.

White.

So incredibly white.

It was a scene of falling snow so bright that if it were to fall here, it might momentarily make the obsidian palace appear to be made of marble.

Having continued an unwanted life in such a dark and gloomy place…

My heart was about to soften at the sight of such scenery, but…

“Hmm…”

As if unwilling to let me complete my contemplation…

A voice with such an ambiguous timbre that it was difficult to determine the speaker’s gender emerged from the mist surrounding the throne.

“Snow days, especially when white snow falls, truly put me in a good mood.”

They spoke these words as if lost in appreciation of the scene.

Despite surrounding themselves with black mist and refusing to allow any color other than black in their environment…

The throne’s occupant was appreciating the white color that completely contrasted with black.

Feeling the irony, I inwardly wore a bitter smile that I could never show outwardly.

I had no intention of engaging with their monologue, so I maintained my silence while kneeling on one knee.

Even if those words were directed at me as a question…

I had neither obligation nor loyalty to open my mouth and answer.

Rather, I was inwardly hurling inaudible curses, thinking they should be grateful I wasn’t saying anything harsh.

Perhaps displeased by my silent, unresponsive demeanor…

“Hmm…”

The voice that had been appreciating the scene now released a deflated sigh, as if letting air escape.

“Isn’t it a servant’s duty to at least follow along when their master sets the mood like this?”

The owner of the ambiguous voice turned to me with complaints and reproach.

If I were to judge only by the voice—which sounded like someone playfully scolding a close subordinate—I might have considered this being an ideal master, but…

How could that be?

“That would be true if our relationship were a normal master-servant relationship.”

Though I had remained silent at the previous remark, I couldn’t let this one pass, so I responded with a serious expression.

It was quite a fierce statement coming from someone designated as a ‘servant,’ but…

“Pfft… You never hold back, do you? But I like that boldness of yours.”

The figure on the throne let out a light laugh, seemingly pleased rather than offended by my attitude.

…They’re truly unpredictable.

For someone who revived me with such ecstasy, as if discovering a treasure that could never be obtained again after seeing my life extinguished, they didn’t seem to value me particularly highly.

Yet they always summoned me for trivial matters just to share what amounted to complaints.

This being, whose very existence embodied desire, delegated all activities meant to fulfill their purpose to underlings while sitting on the throne contemplating the world leisurely—they were truly impossible to understand.

Anyway, seeing their lack of reaction to my sharp words, I felt the urge to provoke them further.

If I succeeded and received their anger in full, resulting in my death, that would be fine.

Even if there was no reaction, I could at least vent the frustration building in my chest, so it wasn’t a losing proposition.

“I don’t feel any better knowing I’m in your favor.”

Once that thought formed, my mouth spoke it without any filtering.

The content was far from refined—depending on the listener, it could be considered the kind of insolence that might result in the speaker being executed in a fit of rage, but…

“Again with words you don’t mean. A dying… no, someone already dead once whom I revived and placed in such a good position, yet I allow you to act as you please.”

The throne’s occupant seemed rather pleased by my reaction, speaking with even more playfulness in their voice than before.

Like hell I don’t mean it…

They clearly knew everything but were pretending otherwise.

Even though they were surrounded by mist and their form was barely discernible…

I was certain that the playfulness I heard in the voice of the throne’s occupant was equally evident in their expression.

Seeing how they continued to respond playfully to my provocations without much reaction, I realized it would be difficult to die this way, so I returned to silence.

“When you run out of things to say, you clam up—that habit never changes. My o—”

“Don’t speak freely while in that form!”

As words I couldn’t simply ignore began to form on the lips of the throne’s occupant, I cut them off with even greater passion than before.

Though their lips didn’t move and their appearance was obscured by mist, I could easily tell that my attitude had somewhat surprised them.

Perhaps finally realizing that continuing to joke wouldn’t elicit the response they wanted from me…

“Alright, alright. Anyway, I don’t feel like seeing blood on a snowy day, so halt your advance and stand by for today.”

The throne’s occupant issued an order in a level voice devoid of playfulness, telling me not to move troops today and to stand by instead.

The stark contrast between the flat voice and the creeping black malice emanating from it was enough to make me smile bitterly, but…

I couldn’t deny that among the orders I’d received since unwillingly becoming no different from this being’s servant, this was one of the more tolerable ones.

Naturally, since it didn’t involve the guilt of having to point my sword at people I should be protecting, let alone fighting.

Anyway, having no reason to refuse, I tried to respond calmly, but…

“…Under…stood.”

Even though this was an order, and I was agreeing to follow it…

My mouth wouldn’t open easily.

Having died once and been revived with false vitality through their power, I had become little more than their puppet.

And while struggling against the unidentified malice within me that desperately tried to seize control of my body…

I could still resist following the orders of this “demon god” sitting on the throne by my own will.

Because I tried to resist any kind of order, the absurd situation arose where I resisted even when a fairly welcome proposal came my way.

The black mist surrounding the throne rippled as I struggled to speak.

I knew all too well.

That rippling mist always behaved that way whenever the demon god within expressed pleasure.

“Pfft…”

A laugh combining both emptiness and amusement came from beyond the throne.

“Truly remarkable. By now, you should be at the point where you’d give me your liver and gallbladder if I asked, yet you can still resist and defy my orders.”

The demon god’s voice contained genuine admiration for my continued stubborn resistance.

As I maintained my silence, feeling no obligation to respond…

The demon god continued with what seemed like a monologue.

“If it weren’t for ‘this body,’ I might have just revived you and made you do someone else’s bidding.”

There they go again, getting on my nerves.

Having lost my mind upon seeing the form the demon god possessed immediately after my revival, and subsequently becoming completely subordinate to them, I was filled with indignation.

“One day, I will seal that mouth of yours and remove you from that throne.”

Words fiercer than a wolf’s growl escaped my lips.

Normally, when a subordinate acts this aggressively, the superior would display power and dignity to silence them, and yet…

“If that is your ‘desire,’ I’ll accept it. I look forward to it. My o—no, my agent.”

The demon god’s words carried a strange anticipation, and then…

*Swoosh*

They vanished like mist from the throne.

The already quiet chamber fell into an eerie silence as its master departed.

“Ptui.”

Feeling nausea rise within me, I spat it out.

“Truly disgusting.”

I said, feeling an endless disgust rising within me.

This obsidian palace, seemingly created from accumulated endless malice, was disgusting.

The godlike being who treated people like playthings while acting smug was incomparably disgusting.

But what felt most disgusting was myself, who could do nothing but offer small rebellions in the face of such disgust, naturally causing bile to rise…

“Haah…”

Building endless self-loathing, all I realized was…

That living as a human is difficult, but dying as a human is even more difficult.

This was one of the experiences from the period when my humanity was being eroded as I fought against the unidentified malice lurking within, trying to take over my body.

I wondered why this particular memory remained so vivid among all the worn-out days of my life.

Perhaps it was because it most clearly revealed that I had lived with a distinct purpose even while forcibly continuing my life.

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….

I should be thinking only good thoughts while watching Shizu enjoying the falling snow from the sky, yet this is what comes to mind.

Just remembering it makes me want to spit out the rising bile.

But fortunately…

*Crunch*

My sinking mood, triggered by memories of those bad times, began to lift at the sound of someone carefully treading on the snow.

I raised my head, which I had briefly lowered, toward the source of the sound.

“Wow…”

Shizu was making sounds by stepping on the accumulated snow with a naive expression, letting out a quiet exclamation.

“Hehe. Stepping on snow is fun.”

Unlike the strong demeanor shown during our training sessions in the practice grounds…

Seeing this innocent appearance that made her seem younger than her age…

The heart that had been darkening with memories of gloomy times…

Was whitened again by the bright expression of this wingless angel—that goes without saying.