Ch.86Panic (2)

I arrived at my home.

I thought she would insist on showering together again, but surprisingly, Daju willingly gave me space.

Though she seemed a bit reluctant.

“If it’s hard to shower alone, just let me know.”

“I’m fine.”

Her thoughts are completely transparent, both in her tone and expression.

I responded to Daju with a middle finger, then took off my clothes and placed them in front of the bathroom.

That unbearable white T-shirt clinging to my body.

Finally, I can take it off.

In the elevator, it felt like I was wrapped in ice.

The damp white T-shirt is now lukewarm from my body heat.

Top. Pants.

And finally, my underwear.

I placed each item of clothing on the floor one by one.

“I’m done. Daju, you can go now.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone? You haven’t been feeling well for a while.”

“I said I’m fine.”

“Then I’ll just wait outside the door.”

She’s so persistent.

“Whatever.”

I entered the bathroom and closed the door.

BANG!

The door closed with an unnaturally loud sound.

My heart sank instantly.

There’s not something else happening, is there?

The door sound echoes loudly.

Though it’s perfectly normal, it’s still frightening.

Because I don’t know what might be in here.

I held my breath and moved only my eyes.

From each tile in the corner to the mirror covering the wall.

I examined every single object in the bathroom.

Nothing.

In the mirror covering the wall.

A terrified naked girl is looking back at me.

In a miserable state, soaking wet.

The girl lowers her head and crouches down.

“This is driving me crazy…”

I mutter quietly.

Why have I been like this lately?

I get anxious at every opportunity. Suddenly, a suffocating feeling rushes in, and I don’t know what to do.

Is it because of what happened in the elevator? Is that effect still lingering?

It’s probably just my mood.

I’ll feel better after some rest. I can relieve stress by washing with warm water.

Thinking this, I turned on the water.

Warm water streams down as I turn the faucet.

Water falling from above.

The sound of rushing water.

The sensation of each droplet hitting my body.

It’s just like…

When I was trapped in the elevator.

The moment I realized this, my vision suddenly darkened.

Shhhhhhhh—

It feels like my head is wrapped in a thick black cloth.

I’m still in the bathroom, but I can’t see anything around me.

My breathing keeps getting faster. My senses are completely distorted, and I can’t even tell the temperature of the water touching my body.

Warm water? Or is it cold?

The water streaming from the shower stings my forearms like needles.

Yet, I couldn’t turn off the faucet.

I couldn’t do anything.

In the midst of panic that felt like my heart would burst,

I barely managed to open my mouth and call for help.

“Yoon… Daju?”

It was the first name that came to mind.

The person who was just here.

With my eyes tightly shut, crouched on the bathroom floor, I called out Daju’s name loudly.

“Daju, are you there? Yoon Daju!”

“Oppa? What’s wrong all of a sudden!”

Thankfully, I hear her voice from nearby.

“Just a moment. The light… turn on the bathroom light.”

“What? The light is already on.”

“The switch. Is it just the switch? Is the light actually on in here?”

“Yes. The light is perfectly fine.”

Her answer comes back as if it’s obvious.

The light is on? But why is everything so dark in front of me?

Even when I open my eyes wide, I still can’t see anything.

“That’s strange. The light is definitely on…”

The discrepancy terrified me.

Had I suddenly gone blind?

“Really?”

“This won’t do. Oppa, I’m opening the door.”

“Okay…”

I sat still, waiting for Daju to come.

Not even thinking about turning off the water, barely managing to breathe.

Shhhhhhhh—

The shower water continues to pour down.

Following my rough breathing, water enters, making my nose and head ache sharply.

At this rate, I really might drown.

I need to turn off the water. But my body won’t move.

Just as I was about to pass out, my consciousness violently shaking—

Creeeeak.

The sound of the door opening.

Cool air seeps in from outside.

I still can’t see anything, but very close by, right next to me, I hear another person’s voice.

“Are you really okay? You don’t look okay at all.”

It’s Yoon Daju.

There’s someone else beside me. As that thought registered, my vision gradually brightened.

I quickly came to my senses and let out a long breath that had been trapped inside.

“Hnngh…”

Almost like bursting into tears.

Daju, crouched beside me, patted my bare shoulder gently.

“Oppa, you’ve been acting strange for a while.”

She said with a worried voice.

“…Yeah.”

My breathing rapidly returns to normal.

The thoughts that had gone blank now belatedly come back.

Shock.

Confusion.

And fear.

In a word, that’s what it was.

What was I just doing?

Clearly nothing was happening around me. But I was trembling all by myself.

It happened regardless of my will.

And I wasn’t even possessed by anything—I just suddenly found myself like this.

Like having a seizure.

What worries me more is what might happen later.

This time it happened in a safe place, but later, if this happens while exploring a dangerous place?

It could be dangerous not just for me but for others too.

Just thinking about that possibility, fear creeps in and gnaws at my mind.

I was still naked, hugging my chest with both arms.

My arms were still trembling.

The aftereffects were still there.

As I trembled silently, Daju wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

“Come here. I’ll stay with you.”

Then she started to undress herself.

“Hey, wait…”

I was about to say “I’m fine” as usual, but I couldn’t.

If this happened again, I really might drown in the shower water.

I just quietly turned my head away.

One fortunate thing is that she didn’t catch me crying.

I think tears flowed without me realizing it, but there was no trace left.

Thanks to keeping the shower running.

This seems like a mental issue.

Something like a panic attack, maybe.

I can probably get a simple solution if I ask Choi Serim later.

Surely that’s the case.

Reassuring myself, I prepared to shower again.

Phew, as I exhaled, Yoon Daju turned toward me holding the showerhead.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah.”

Daju positioned herself in front of the shower, and I ended up standing behind her.

I’m not sure how this happened.

I must have unconsciously stepped back. The trembling in my body still lingered.

“I’m turning on the water.”

Click.

As Daju lifted the faucet, warm water poured out again.

Shhhhhhhh—

Pleasantly warm water raining down.

The temperature feels completely different from when I was alone.

“Move aside for a second.”

“Huh? Why?”

I pushed Daju aside and reached out.

I raised the water temperature a bit, making it slightly hot now.

“Oh, you wanted to increase the temperature… But aren’t you going to wash?”

“Wait. Just a little longer.”

After receiving the water for quite a while, my body warms up pleasantly.

The trembling in my body has now completely disappeared.

Maybe it’s because I almost froze to death in the elevator.

For some reason, I don’t want to leave this place.

Plus, this is the last time. We’ll have to leave the 7th floor soon.

Thinking about that makes me even more reluctant to let this moment pass.

After another long while.

“Ah, it’s hot. That’s enough. Let’s wash now.”

With Daju’s grumbling, the water stream cuts off with a thud.

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

I nodded weakly and picked up the shower towel.

It’s better that she cut it off like this.

If it weren’t for Daju, I might have been wasting water like this for hours.

Maybe because I’d been under the water for so long, the actual washing felt like it ended quickly.

Quickly soaping up my body.

And washing my hair.

Tap tap.

Standing in front of the mirror, I shook off the water with a towel.

My long hair is sticking to my body.

It’s kind of sexy.

In manga, they sometimes cover important parts with hair, and it actually works in real life.

‘Hmm.’

I decided to cut off that train of thought.

Maybe I’m tired, but my thoughts keep going in strange directions.

Instead, I glanced toward Yoon Daju.

Daju was patting her bob hair dry with a towel.

This definitely isn’t something a woman should show to a man.

Thinking about it this way makes me feel complicated again.

It seems like being treated as a woman has become natural.

If I keep being treated as a woman and eventually accept it?

Would that really be the end of me as a man?

I shook my head from side to side.

But not yet.

Not yet.

Evidence?

The fact that I think my own body looks sexy is evidence.

If I had truly become a woman in my mind, I wouldn’t think anything of it.

And Daju next to me… she has a good figure too. Usually I don’t think about it because she acts like such a ruffian, but I have to give credit where it’s due.

“Hah…”

Thinking about it makes me sigh involuntarily.

Self-loathing.

Reality hitting hard.

A sigh mixed with everything.

Even though it’s just a thought in my head, it feels like such a trashy thought that the guilt is no joke.

The fortunate thing is that Yoon Daju doesn’t have the ability to read other people’s thoughts.

If Choi Serim were here?

I probably wouldn’t have been able to look her in the face properly.

Yoon Daju put down her towel and turned her gaze toward me.

“It’ll take you a long time with all that hair. Should I help you?”

“No. It’s fine. I can manage this much.”

“Then is it okay if I go out first?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me if you start feeling strange again.”

Bang!

Daju closed the door and went outside.

With that sound, I felt the reality of being alone again.

In this narrow space.

I decided to quickly finish up and leave the bathroom.

But before that, just one last look in the mirror.

Squeak, squeak.

I wiped away the steam covering the mirror with my palm.

My face appears in the clean circle.

No matter what expression I make, it’s just a cute face like a nerdy high school girl.

I used the Librarian’s Insight.

The subject I wanted to know about was information on my current state.

After a momentary dizziness, sentences appeared before my eyes.

* Displaying query content.

* Subject

* Subject’s current mental state

* Presence of anomalous entities affecting the subject’s mental state

[Subject: Lim Dabin]

[Status: Normal]

[Affected by anomalous entities: None]

I had already expected this.

My state as seen through the Insight is perfectly normal.

It means I’m not under any mental manipulation, brainwashing, or hypnosis.

I can definitely trust this. There’s no being in this story that can deceive the Librarian’s Insight.

So have I really developed some kind of trauma?

I used the Insight on the mirror again.

This time with a slightly different question.

* Displaying query content.

* Subject

* Subject’s mental health status

[Subject: Lim Dabin]

[Mental health assessment: We have confirmed that the subject recently experienced a panic attack. Additionally, stress and anxiety levels are very high. Panic disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder is suspected.]

[Analyzing human minds takes time, and results may be inaccurate.]

Panic disorder.

And post-traumatic stress disorder.

As I thought, the problem was with me.

That moment when reality and nightmare became reversed.

The fear that crept in through a brief gap had cast a dark shadow over my mind.