Ch.86Chapter 86

“Are you afraid of dying? Of course not. Death is only frightening to those who have no next life.”

The Demon God responded as if to say what nonsense I was talking about. Meanwhile, it sniffed around the empty box regretfully, as if disappointed.

I don’t understand what more it wants after eating all the cheese stuck to the paper.

Was it Ourr who said it? That no matter how much she ate, she never felt full. Ouroboros seemed to have the same inability to feel satiated, which made her appear slightly lacking in self-control when it came to eating.

I could order more, but if she got too used to it, she might keep asking for food, so I decided to stay quiet.

Even though I had plenty of money, spending it this way would be like throwing it into a black hole.

“Dying could be painful, you know.”

“There’s no such thing as a painless death.”

“…Haven’t you ever thought about not wanting pain?”

“It can’t be helped. Not wanting to end is everyone’s wish.”

The Demon God only stated obvious things. Everything ultimately came down to “it can’t be helped.”

A peculiar being who chooses suicide to live eternally. A unique Demon God I’d never seen anywhere before.

“How long have you been alive?”

“I don’t know.”

The answer came so quickly it seemed insincere. But it was nothing special. We humans might create calendars and determine years, but Demon Gods would have no reason to establish time standards, so not knowing was natural.

Accepting that, I quietly asked what I really wanted to know.

“Who’s the main personality? Ouroboros? Ourr?”

The Demon God answered blankly.

“Me.”

“…But when we met, it wasn’t you.”

The Demon God hummed thoughtfully, then nodded as if remembering something.

“That’s right.”

“What happened?”

“I was just bored. That’s all.”

What a ridiculous answer. I frowned, wondering what it meant to change personalities out of boredom.

“…What? Wait, you changed personalities because you were bored?”

“No, I didn’t know there was a new personality. But it wasn’t bad. It felt like taking a long sleep.”

The Demon God seemed to have found the time when Ourr possessed the body not unpleasant, maintaining a calm expression.

There was no sign of anger. If she had been furious about me killing her and wanted revenge, I might have died without exception, but there was none of that.

Seeing how she described everything as “good,” she must have been truly bored, which made my expression harden.

“Couldn’t you just sleep if you wanted to?”

“It’s a different feeling.”

The Demon God shook her head. But even if she said it was different, I couldn’t understand what kind of feeling it was, so all I could do was nod.

There was nothing I could understand. I just thought I could.

“Then why did you commit suicide?”

The Demon God blinked quietly, then pointed at the pizza box in front.

“Fine, I’ll order more.”

I originally wasn’t going to order more, but since I really wanted to hear her story, I had no choice but to give in. I picked up my phone and quickly placed an order, showing her the confirmation.

“I ordered it.”

“Good.”

With that, the Demon God continued her story.

**

Ouroboros.

She didn’t know how many years she had lived. No one knew how many hundreds of years she had existed. She had simply existed in that place, passing days and nights.

She wandered around, moving her body.

There was no need to eat or sleep. She was aware these were things necessary for survival, but perhaps because of this, each day felt unbearably monotonous.

With no need to eat, she felt no need to hunt. When rabbits ran by or wild boars passed, she mostly just acknowledged them and moved on. Though her aura made it difficult to catch them anyway, as they would flee if she got too close.

The principles of the world seemed to be in her grasp. She could use magic as she pleased.

One day, out of extreme boredom, she ventured outside the mountain. The bodies looked the same, but she could instinctively feel they were different from her.

She didn’t approach any closer. She had already seen animals flee when she got within a certain distance, so why bother?

Unlike other Demon Gods, she had no reason to steal human lifespans, so she felt no need for it.

It was meaningless. Having not been born by choice, simply passing the days was unbearably tedious. Occasionally, when her body grew too old, she chose death.

She knew it. The fact that even if she killed herself, she wouldn’t die.

The fact that dying would make her younger, allowing her to live eternally this way.

But time and again, over and over, no matter how much she lived, only the thought of meaninglessness remained. After countless nights of extreme boredom, she finally made her choice.

What would happen if she died? What would happen if she kept getting younger? No, if she became too young, would her thoughts regress to the point where she couldn’t even think about dying?

That seemed absurd. It would be laughable. Just as each being has survival instincts, if suicide was prevented in such a way, she would grow tired of herself.

So what, was she supposed to live her entire life killing herself like this? The thought made her shake her head.

And yet, trying it made her think she was truly going mad.

So she died. And died again.

And then, she fell into a comfortable sleep.

**

“But I did wake up eventually. I could have gone back to sleep though.”

Having finished her story, Ouroboros shrugged as if it were nothing special.

I didn’t know if she had killed people or what it was like, but at least there was no such content in her story. It was so simple that much must have been summarized.

Having lived many times longer than a human lifespan, yet able to summarize it as “passing days and nights”—I couldn’t begin to imagine how much loneliness and tedium there must have been.

I’m not trying to empathize with a Demon God, but thinking that Ourr emerged from these suicide attempts made me feel that both Ouroboros and Ourr had led tragic lives.

“…Does the tendency to kill people decrease if you’re not taking lifespans from humans to extend your life?”

The pizza had arrived. As I laid out the box and casually asked, the Demon God turned her head, unable to take her eyes off it.

Then, forgetting how hot it was, she grabbed a slice and stuffed it into her mouth. Only after filling one cheek did she answer my question.

“At least for me, that was the case.”

Thinking of the Swordmaster Demon God reportedly spotted in another country, it wasn’t entirely implausible. Reports said that Demon God focused more on honing swordsmanship than killing people.

If a Demon God doesn’t need to steal lifespans to survive, then only some might kill out of boredom. And even those are just a small minority.

I realized that not receiving education on ethics and morality doesn’t automatically make someone a murderer. Lack of education might push someone to extremes where they could kill, but that’s all.

Like Ouroboros, if there’s no particular reason to kill, they might just keep their distance and observe.

Ourr didn’t know this, which is why she came down to where people lived and got reported.

“Was Ouroboros really just bored?”

“As I’ve been saying all along, that’s really all there was to it. If it had been me, I wouldn’t have come this far.”

She was too docile for a Demon God. I thought she was a monster that shouldn’t be let loose in the world because of her eerie aura, but her personality was so rounded that it reminded me of Ourr.

Though she did feel a bit more raw than Ourr.

“Is it delicious?”

“It is.”

I was impressed watching her devour the pizza slice by slice.

“Do you want to experience what Ourr felt?”

“Yes. I’m curious about what ‘I’ did here.”

The Demon God didn’t seem to mind having another self. If anything, she seemed grateful that Ourr had existed, allowing her to sleep deeply.

It was a strange feeling.

I had thought all Demon Gods were hostile, looking down on everything except themselves and acting as if they were the rules of this world. Just knowing such a Demon God existed was a fascinating experience.

I thought Ourr was acting as a suppressor for the Demon God, but she was just a personality that emerged from a bored Demon God, which was somewhat deflating.

What had I been afraid of all this time?

They say humans fear the unknown, and that seemed true. I had only been afraid based on fragments of knowledge without proper understanding.

“…Ourr didn’t do much. She just made real friends and had fun, that’s all.”

“That’s what I want to do. …I never expected to be this close to people. Is it possible when you’re younger? Or is it just you?”

“Well, it’s partly because you’re younger, and partly because I can approach you even when you’re older and emitting your aura.”

Hearing the Demon God say she wanted to experience anything and everything, I smiled bitterly. I felt like I would end up revisiting everything Ourr had done.

Having finished an entire pizza, the Demon God nodded as if somewhat satisfied.

“Excellent. This was something I couldn’t eat in the forest.”

I was afraid she might leave a review if I gave her my phone later.

Would she give it five stars?