Ch.8585. Bad Thoughts

The final exams were over.

That meant the semester had come to an end.

A pleasant murmur echoed throughout the lecture hall.

Suhyeok, having finished packing his bag, looked around.

The last exam was for his major course.

Juyeon should definitely be somewhere around here…

Where did she go…?

She usually walked home with him, but for some reason, she was nowhere to be seen.

She wouldn’t have missed the exam…

At that moment, Suhyeok spotted Juyeon.

With her bag clutched to her chest, she was quickly leaving the lecture hall as if she had some urgent business.

He hesitated for a moment about following her, but since he was going to see her later anyway, he deliberately chose not to chase after her.

Though it wasn’t practice day, today was a meeting day for the 23rd generation.

It was also the day he would play the demo of the song he had been working on so diligently.

Since he had sacrificed his study time to create this song, Suhyeok could only pray that the members’ reactions would be positive.

Upon returning home, Suhyeok immediately grabbed his guitar.

“My heart already leaning toward you~”

“Words I couldn’t speak~”

His singing skills were terrible compared to Juyeon’s.

Nevertheless, Suhyeok sang the song he composed in his room every day.

Music had a way of releasing emotions.

Suhyeok tried his best to channel the flood of emotions that came when thinking about a certain someone through music.

And so, while singing rather poorly again today.

-Buzz buzz

[Hey]

A short message.

Only one person called Suhyeok “Hey” like that.

[Yeah?]

[The demo you’re showing today. Any changes from what you sent me before?]

Hana was Suhyeok’s reliable musical partner.

Whenever he came up with an inspired line, Hana was the one who provided the theoretical framework.

Creating sounds on the computer, making sheet music for instruments other than guitar—all of that was Hana’s role.

In fact, without Hana, the 23rd generation wouldn’t have even dared to attempt the original song competition project.

[No. I think I’ll just show what I already have]

[Really?]

[Yeah]

No reply came back.

The conversation seemed to end there, but…

[I want lemonade]

Holding his phone, Suhyeok hesitated to respond.

…What should I say?

Honestly, the most obvious response that came to mind was “They sell it at convenience stores.”

[Lemonade is delicious]

Not knowing what else to say, he sent a generic message of agreement.

[Want to go get some?]

It was only 3 PM.

Considering their meeting was at 5, they had enough time to visit a café.

[Where to?]

[A café]

[Just the two of us?]

[Yeah. Just us.]

Suhyeok thought to himself.

Love really does make people stupid.

Like Pavlov’s dog, he felt happy at the mention of being alone together.

Doing anything alone with Hana always made him excited and anticipatory.

Even though he agonized over the possibility of rejection if he confessed, whenever she contacted him like this, Suhyeok couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

He could only describe it as a sensation of his brain cells shrinking.

[When?]

[Come out now. To the bus stop]

After replying that he understood, Suhyeok got dressed.

While gathering his wallet and phone, Suhyeok’s eyes widened at an unexpected notification.

[Yeon-i has started streaming!]

…Juyeon is streaming at this hour?

Juyeon doesn’t stream on Fridays.

Even when she did stream, she usually told Suhyeok before going live.

Not going home together today, suddenly starting a stream…

While Suhyeok didn’t think Juyeon’s behavior was bad or strange, he couldn’t shake off an uneasy feeling.

Should I check it out…?

-Buzz buzz

Another vibration

[Hey it’s super hot outside, hurry up]

Hana’s message covered the streaming notification.

In the end, Suhyeok shoved his phone back into his pocket and headed outside.

As he approached the bus stop, he could see Hana’s silhouette wearing a baseball cap in the distance.

Above her short blue hot pants was a crop top that barely revealed her navel.

“What took you so long?”

Hana playfully poked Suhyeok as soon as she saw him.

“I came right away.”

“Since you’re late, you’re paying?”

“…Is this really being late?”

How could it be considered late when there wasn’t even a set meeting time?

“I’m kidding. Hey. Someone might think I’m meeting you to take advantage of you.”

Suhyeok laughed awkwardly, but a chill ran down his spine.

If Hana had seriously tried to seduce him, he probably would have given her his liver, gallbladder, and everything else.

“So where are we going? A café?”

“Just ahead. A chain store.”

She specifically wanted lemonade, but apparently the place didn’t need to be special.

As they entered the store, Hana closed her eyes at the blast of air conditioning.

“This is the life.”

“So refreshing.”

As they stood side by side enjoying the cool air, they felt the part-timer’s pointed stare.

“Two lemonades, please.”

Suhyeok thought the carbonated drink with its sharp fizz was just like Hana.

“Lee Suhyeok.”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing for summer vacation?”

The two sat facing each other.

Hana rested her chin on her hand as she sucked on her straw.

“Umm… band practice?”

He didn’t have many other plans beyond that.

If he had to add something, he might mention getting a part-time job to earn living expenses, but that was still undecided.

“Oh, and I’m planning to exercise hard too. Kang-i asked me to join him.”

“What? Are you trying to take profile photos of your body or something?”

Hana smiled broadly.

She also thought it was good for Suhyeok to exercise.

“No. Just for health maintenance.”

“Hey. You should have some kind of goal to work harder, right?”

“Even so, that’s a bit…”

For Suhyeok as he was now, it was hard to imagine becoming muscular like Kang-i.

“Well, that’s for you to decide.”

“What about you, Hana… what are you doing during the break?”

“Me? I think I’ll be working at a bar.”

…A bar? A fancy drinking establishment?

At the mention of a bar, all kinds of thoughts raced through Suhyeok’s mind.

The girl he liked working at a bar…

Not even a casual pub, but a bar…

Just as unpleasant feelings were about to surge up at the thought of her serving drinks in provocative attire—

“My uncle runs a live hall.”

“…Huh?”

“You don’t know what a live hall is? You know, those small concert venues where bands perform.”

“Oh… that’s what you meant by bar?”

“Technically, it’s a bar in the back where I mix drinks and stuff. It looks like a bar, right? You should come visit! Some pretty good bands perform there often.”

Suhyeok’s mind returned to a state of calm.

What followed was curiosity.

“So you get to watch performances there all the time?”

“Yeah. I get to see bands for free every day.”

“…That’s awesome.”

“Want to do it too?”

For a moment he was tempted, but Suhyeok had no intention of taking away her job.

From the perspective of the audience and her uncle who ran the place, having Hana there would be much more helpful.

“No, that’s okay.”

“Let me know if you change your mind. I can hook you up.”

Hana thought she would be happy if there was one more thing she could share with Suhyeok.

“Are we going straight to the practice room after this?”

Suhyeok asked Hana.

“I was thinking so, why? Need to stop by home?”

Suhyeok, concerned about Juyeon’s stream, shook his head.

“No. Let’s do that.”

“Hey, by the way, your grades this semester…”

Juyeon…

She’s probably fine, right?

* * *

Love is a comprehensive word.

A man and woman embracing and kissing is love.

Parents stroking the head of their sleeping child is love.

An idol shouting words of gratitude to fans is love.

Even a teacher scolding an inadequate student stems from affection, which is love.

But these cannot all be translated into the same flow.

It’s like trying to fill a circle with a triangle—it simply doesn’t fit.

[Everyone, you know how grateful I am for your support, right?]

[I’m really so happy that you all come to watch me.]

[I’m not joking, really. Ahaha…]

A desperate struggle to fill an emptied heart.

That was the method Juyeon had chosen now.

[S-so tomorrow… I’ll stream again! I’m going now!]

As she pressed the end broadcast button, the screen turned black.

Through the dark display, she could faintly see her own reflection.

“…This isn’t fun.”

It wasn’t fun at all.

Usually, she enjoyed interacting with viewers, and seeing the viewer count rise gave her a sense of achievement, but now…

She wanted to see Suhyeok.

At the same time, she didn’t want to see him.

Because he liked someone else, not her.

Sitting in her computer chair, Juyeon pulled her knees up to her chest.

…I don’t know what to do.

If she recalled the advice she had given to Suhyeok, the right decision for Juyeon would be not to confess to him.

Just staying by his side like this.

Maintaining enough distance not to get hurt.

Suppressing her feelings as if hypnotizing herself that they would eventually fade—that would be the best course of action.

But if she held onto that thread-thin hope and waited…

If she waited for Suhyeok to someday forget that girl…

Would my turn ever come?

She imagined a future that seemed both within reach and impossibly distant.

As Juyeon pictured Suhyeok embracing her tenderly, she had to endure pain that felt like her heart was burning up.

Simultaneously, she felt self-loathing rising within her.

‘I wish Suhyeok wouldn’t end up with her.’