Ch.84Looking Back to Speak (4)

All three of them were at a loss for words. They felt helpless, not knowing what to do, and their hearts grew unbearably heavy.

Maria felt like she was sinking into mud even though she was sitting in a chair. Disliking the feeling of drowning in silence, she asked a question she wasn’t actually curious about.

“How does someone who can’t see… how do they get around so well?”

But Kain remained composed. He pieced together what he knew, one by one. As always, he organized his thoughts calmly before presenting his hypothesis.

“That might be why he brings shadows with him and creates monsters to accompany him. Or perhaps he borrows the bodies of those he desires. When he ‘borrows’ them, he can’t completely cover them with shadows.”

Like the unfortunate apprentice knight at the Otranto Monastery. Wasn’t half of him covered in shadow, while half remained his own face?

“Then where did he get the power to turn people into monsters? The Demon King himself? Or… somewhere else?”

At Lily’s question, Kain thought for a moment.

At the very least, he probably didn’t receive that power directly from the Demon King. Since no one knows where he’s buried.

But he does know how the man appears before people. Before those who seek revenge. He had responded to the calls of followers of the heretical religion that was spreading recently.

“Maria. Do you know anything about sorcery that turns people into monsters? Heretical religions or twisted faiths, those who teach about revenge and punishment in this life… anything.”

“Well… I’d have to look through the records, but I don’t know much about ‘inserting’ shadows into people’s bodies and ‘transforming’ them into monsters like this. But revenge is…”

Maria seemed somewhat hesitant. Kain urged her on with his silence. Finally, Maria let out a pained sound between her teeth.

“The slogan ‘You reap what you sow.’ Remember?”

It was an unforgettable slogan. Wasn’t it what the heretics had shouted in Emmaus and Masada?

“Of course.”

“In ancient religion… the Life Tree Order has a similar teaching. But it’s not about revenge. It’s just… just that where beans are planted, beans grow, and where mustard seeds are planted, mustard grows. And every religion teaches something similar. It’s not even a doctrine unique to the Life Tree.”

Maria offered a simple explanation.

The Two-headed Eagle Faith has a similar teaching. Love your neighbor as yourself.

The Stone-Fire Faith is the same. The person you turn away from today will stab you with a knife from behind tomorrow. The person you give water to today will save your life tomorrow.

They’re all stories about cause and effect. They contain the meaning that one small action today will return as a greater result tomorrow.

But while the Life Tree Order emphasizes the natural principles and laws of cause and effect, the Two-headed Eagle and Stone-Fire Faith place more weight on maintaining community and mutual benefit.

“Religions followed by those who lived in nature are that different from those believed by people living among others. But that’s a story about principles… not about revenge. This… this is a relatively modern concept.”

“Modern?”

“A tree doesn’t seek revenge on the wind when a storm blows. The land doesn’t seek revenge on lightning when a mountain catches fire. But they warn that a person who harbors resentment today will harm others tomorrow. Revenge is a more human concept than you might think.”

Maria stroked her side as if trying to touch the leather strap of the seal.

“That’s why those who have appeared recently are heretics. They exclude all other doctrines and emphasize only revenge and resentment. Intense, primal… making people blind with rage.”

“And this Knight of the Scabbard appears to those who harbor resentment. Those who harbor resentment against people. Groups who harbor resentment against the Empire…”

Kain nodded two, three times.

“Then I understand that this unidentified order, the Demon King, and the Knight of the Scabbard are all connected. They’ve all gathered under the same banner.”

“What kind…?”

“Bitter revenge. Before revenge is achieved, they neither fall nor crumble. Even if they fall, they rise again, feeding on resentment. The shadow breathes strength into them. Shajar al-Durr was like that too. Even though Arianne cut off her arm…”

The image was still vivid in Kain’s eyes. The vengeful spirit, the hatred and resentment strong enough to awaken the dead, had not diminished even after losing an arm. And in the end, the shadow had placed the curved sword back in her hand to stab her daughter’s back.

Silence fell again. Lily asked Kain and Maria in a trembling voice.

“Now, what should we do?”

Unlike Maria who had lowered her head, Kain answered immediately.

“We should eat dinner.”

Lily opened her eyes wide like a startled rabbit. Kain stood up.

“We haven’t even had dinner yet. I’ll see if there’s anything left to eat in this residence. Let’s eat first and then decide.”

Kain walked out into the hallway. He asked the residence manager waiting in the reception room to bring some simple food.

After waiting briefly, the manager brought a leather water container, a basket with bread, cheese, and sausage, and cups. When he untied the mouth of the container, a rich grape aroma filled the air.

He silently chewed on bread cut with a bread knife, topped with pieces of cheese and sausage, and took a sip of red wine. It was closer to a snack than a meal, and it was just enough to wet his throat rather than get drunk.

After finishing the meal, Kain roughly stuffed the utensils back into the basket and placed it outside the door. But he didn’t sit down again. With the door wide open, he pointed outside and asked.

“Shall we go to the rooftop?”

Lily and Maria also stood up.

The three-story building wasn’t tall. The view was blocked by large art galleries and tall buildings nestled together nearby, and it was more modest than the luxurious single-story houses situated on gentle hills.

Still, it was refreshing.

Instead of the stuffy ceiling, they could look up at the distant night sky. Next to the city was a lake shining with stars, as if someone had placed a bowl of night sky there.

‘I said it was a city full of pretense and vanity.’

But not all of those things are bad. Sometimes, like now, you need to say it’s okay even when it’s not. Sometimes, even when you don’t feel energetic, you have to pretend to be. Then the heart, though knowing it’s a lie, allows itself to be deceived by the body’s falsehood.

“What made you want to come up to the rooftop?”

Maria grumbled deliberately, guessing Kain’s intentions. If Kain was pretending to be ‘normal,’ she had to play along. Just as forced clapping still makes a sound when hands meet.

“The rain has stopped… and the room was a bit stuffy. What can we do about not having a proper dinner?”

“You said you’d buy us something delicious.” Maria playfully pushed Kain.

Lily smiled and rummaged through her pocket. She handed Kain and Maria each something wrapped in paper.

“What’s this?”

“I secretly took it from Count Edesse’s house. They called it caramel, said it was made by melting and stirring sugar until it hardens, so I grabbed some.”

It was hard until it entered the mouth, but once inside, it melted on the tongue with a sweet taste.

“Hmm. I hope this doesn’t make me fat.”

But Maria leaned against the railing with her arms hanging limply like a doll with broken strings.

“I still can’t believe all this. It’s like a joke that’s not funny at all. I’m not even sure what happened today. I mean, I don’t know how to process this.”

The night breeze tousled Maria’s hair as if agreeing with her. Maria responded with a slight shake of her head.

“What I learned while playing the role of an inquisitor is that people aren’t much different from beasts. The difference between beasts and humans seems to be just whether they can say the word ‘God’ or not. And sometimes, it seems like they can become even lower than beasts.”

“What do you mean?”

At Kain’s question, Maria lowered her head. She tapped the rooftop floor with her heel.

“Because in the name of God’s will, they do things even beasts wouldn’t do. God never actually told anyone to hang widows on burning woodpiles. Rather, He asked them who they were and why they had tied this woman there.

The Crusades were like that too. The Two-headed Eagle and Stone-Fire killed each other while seeking God. And what’s left now? A money tree called Magdeburg growing in that field of blood. Is this God’s will? To pick golden apples from soil fertilized with blood and corpses?”

Kain looked up at the stars in the sky. Suddenly, he remembered a story someone had told him long ago in the east. Though the night sky he saw then was different.

“It’s a story I saw when I was in the Eastern Union. There was an old man who had committed a great sin and lived as a wanderer. In the east, a ‘great sin’ means embezzlement. Since money is their lifeline there, stealing money is almost the same as taking someone’s life.”

Lily moved slightly closer to Kain. It was almost the first time he had mentioned the Eastern Union even in passing, so she wanted to hear better.

“But one day, the old man suddenly crossed the border and returned. He was a penniless beggar. And as soon as he arrived, his heart stopped and he died. What was even more incomprehensible was that the people of the Union were divided into two groups and fought.

People around the old man’s age argued, ‘He still came back, so we should bury him in the ground,’ while young people insisted he should be burned or thrown into the sea.”

Maria also knew that ‘burying in the ground’ was the highest respect in the Union, which consisted mostly of islands. Or for someone with enough money and power to buy land to rest their body after death. Of course, most would be cremated and placed in urns in columbaria.

“But he ran away with the money. Even so?”

“The old man was originally a galley slave.”

“What?”

“Starting as a galley slave, he rose to become the owner of a large shipping company that operated ten sailing ships. He was lucky and timed things well. But what made him even more famous was his almost charitable behavior.

Like himself, he bought intelligent slaves with money and employed them in temples. They were called slaves, but they weren’t much different from free people. He taught them letters and numbers, gave them positions according to their abilities. If they saved their wages little by little, they could buy free status after about five years.

There were many opinions that he was ignorant, ill-mannered, and impolite, but he had excellent intuition and luck. And he knew how to share that luck with others.

Then disaster struck. All ten sailing ships sank. Storm. Pirates. Reef shipwrecks. Disappearances… all at the same time. As far as I know, such misfortune had never occurred all at once in the Eastern Union.”

“…So he ran away? With the money?”

“Not just money, but all the company’s promissory notes and ledgers. No one could hold the slave-origin employees responsible.

The older people, having watched his rise and fall up close for a very long time, simply couldn’t hate him. Running away irresponsibly was clearly wrong and not right, but quite a few people had become wealthy by working hard, inspired by him.

He was a beacon for the poor and hungry, for those thirsty for success.

But in the eyes of young people, he was just an old man who ran away because he didn’t want to fail. They only saw the fall and decay.

The apprentice, who thought both sides had a point, came to a conclusion.

On a windy day, they would send the body out to sea in a small boat with a single sail. From that harbor that was once filled with his sailing ships.

In any case, he wasn’t buried in the ground, so the young people complained but couldn’t get too angry. The old people argued that he deserved better respect than this, but since the body was intact. And since it was a funeral befitting his glorious days, they didn’t say more.

The apprentice didn’t satisfy both sides, but he didn’t provide an answer that both sides hated.”

Kain rolled his foot slightly. As if wanting to confirm that the ground beneath his feet was safe.

“Some things can only be properly seen in retrospect, they said. After they’ve passed, after you’ve distanced yourself, after you’ve sacrificed time and gained wisdom enough to understand. I think this situation will be like that too. It’s confusing now… but surely a day will come when we understand.”

“More positive than I expected?”

Maria smiled and looked up at the sky. Lily, who had somehow moved next to Kain, leaned against him. She looked beyond the horizon. At the wide hills and small mountains, the lake of stars and the city brightly lit with lamps.

“When all this is over… what will we see?”

“A face.”

Lily looked at Kain questioningly. Kain clenched his fist.

“A face. At least we’ll definitely see that bastard’s face. As for the rest… well.”

Kain opened his hand. He was too tired to think more. Perhaps it was due to the slight intoxication from the wine he had drunk just enough to wet his throat.

“I’m hoping the literature professor we’re meeting tomorrow might be able to give us some hints.”