Ch.82Diminuendo (2)

When waters longing for the sky form pure white clusters,

People call those sheep-like formations in the sky “clouds.”

I wonder if a wolf has appeared today.

Looking at the streams of water pouring down with the sharp wind, I quietly lifted the teacup placed before me.

The pattering rain made the atmosphere gloomy.

Perhaps the darkening mood was something that had been foretold.

After all, a strange tension hung over the duke’s mansion regarding the Roman subjugation operation that would begin tomorrow.

Rofena looked at me and eventually sighed, turning her head away.

Unlike before, she wasn’t embarrassed by strange thoughts,

But with her eyes filled only with worry, I too felt oddly uncomfortable.

To be honest, I wasn’t nervous at all, strangely enough.

I felt as if I would wake up tomorrow morning to the same scenery I always saw.

Comfortable body, peaceful mind. As I blankly watched the rain soaking the air, I moistened my lips with the steam rising from the warm tea.

I had sorted out my feelings to some extent.

Whatever scene might unfold after tomorrow, wouldn’t it be better to think positively?

It felt like the first time in my life that “the day after tomorrow” seemed like such a difficult concept.

Actually, I hadn’t been particularly afraid or trembled much while fighting black mages until now…

But tomorrow’s battle felt slightly outside that usual pattern.

A Master enhanced by black magic.

Lord Theorad would certainly lose. Even as a fellow Master, he had zero chance of winning against someone enhanced by black magic.

I had some possibility with my awakened dragon blood, but I still didn’t want to fight alone.

If we were to fight, it should be the three of us together—the Crown Prince, myself, and Lord Theorad.

Even then, it would be difficult to predict a high chance of victory.

If there was even one more creature like Maloric, it wouldn’t be strange at all if someone died instantly.

Plop—

Raindrops hit the window, making a sound.

At that sound breaking the silence in the quiet room, Airin slightly raised her head.

Somehow, today Airin hadn’t said a single word to me.

…It wasn’t that I didn’t understand Airin’s feelings.

I knew how she thought of me, and I also knew how strangely dependent she was on me.

I understood her worry that I always returned injured, and that this time it might not end with just injuries.

However, this was an unavoidable battle. If we didn’t strike first, wouldn’t we be the ones attacked?

Despite being her knight, I couldn’t be by her side as her escort tomorrow.

When I lightly tapped the table, Airin’s gaze turned toward me.

Her expression suggested she had much to say. Her lips parted slightly,

Then closed again, mumbling, which made me smile a little.

“Do you have something to say?”

“…No.”

“You don’t need to worry so much. It’s no different from usual, isn’t it?”

It was different from usual. After all, I hadn’t told Airin that Duke Roman was a Master.

From the beginning, we had promised that if a situation arose where we faced Duke Roman, we would definitely confront him together.

Lord Theorad also knew well that Duke Roman was a Master.

If I don’t return… no, it would be better not to think like that.

I thought I wasn’t feeling tense, but actually, I wasn’t not feeling tense—I was just deliberately ignoring it.

My hand holding the teacup trembled slightly. This was probably why Rofena sighed while looking at me.

“After this Roman subjugation ends, things will likely get busy. The five great houses will be reduced to four, won’t they?”

When I spoke to change my thoughts, Airin, who had been staring at me for a moment, nodded slightly.

The Roman subjugation wouldn’t simply end under the pretext of eliminating a black mage.

One of the five great houses that had been a pillar of the Empire would be vacant for the first time in a thousand years, and more than 30% of the Empire’s military power would disappear.

Of course, knights not associated with black magic would be incorporated into the Imperial Knights or Yuris,

But from the Emperor’s perspective, he wouldn’t particularly want Yuris to grow especially prominent among the five great houses.

According to the Crown Prince, Lord Azest would help us this time.

Given a mage’s characteristics, he would likely focus on killing weaker black mages and controlling the space rather than engaging in direct combat.

It was certainly more substantial support than I had initially thought.

If an 8th-circle archmage like him helped us, we could reduce our physical exertion considerably.

Perhaps there might be no injuries at all. But that possibility was quite low.

It would be better to assume injuries would occur.

“…Perhaps, after this is over, we’ll have many occasions to visit the Imperial Palace. You’ll have to attend as a meritorious subject, and we will gain a different status than before.”

After saying that, Airin eventually exhaled softly and moved her lips again.

“If you return, that is.”

Silence fell. My gaze, not properly answering her words, and Airin’s gaze, waiting for an answer, collided in empty space.

I thought it would be simple to utter those four syllables saying I would return, wondering why it was so difficult,

But when the moment actually came, I couldn’t easily speak.

“…I can’t say I’ll return safely.”

Last time, at the Crown Prince’s birthday celebration, didn’t I say the same thing? If I said otherwise, it would certainly be a lie.

The probability of returning safely? Not impossible, but close to it. I would certainly be injured as much as when I fought Maloric.

If luck wasn’t on my side like then, I could die. But I couldn’t bring myself to say I might die, so…

With a bitter smile, I opened my mouth toward Airin.

“Didn’t I say I would definitely return?”

This wasn’t a lie, I needed to say, but somehow the breath filling my throat just made me close my mouth.

Airin stared at me intently. Her blue eyes, usually sparkling, were now full of sadness and fear.

Worry for me, perhaps fear that she might regret something. I understood.

I felt the same, and if I were in her position, I would certainly feel that way too.

“…You can’t not go, can you?”

“No.”

If I answered that it was for her sake, I couldn’t easily open my mouth for fear Airin might take it strangely.

Afraid she might blame herself, afraid she might blame herself if I didn’t return. I smiled faintly.

Casually, smiling like that, I met Airin’s eyes.

If I showed her my trembling, Airin would worry even more.

“It will be fine. Hasn’t it always been?”

I didn’t want the atmosphere to be so depressed;

I didn’t want to be in this kind of mood before the subjugation that would begin at dawn.

I just wanted to see the usual atmosphere, as if nothing was wrong.

Scratching my cheek for a moment while looking at the floor, I noticed Rofena’s presence and quietly opened my mouth.

“Rofena, step outside for a moment.”

“What? Me?”

“Yes, I have something to discuss with the young lady.”

I thought Rofena, knowing our relationship, would understand what this meant,

And Rofena looked at me blankly before sighing and heading toward the door. Just before leaving, she added,

“There won’t be many people around today. Um… just so you know.”

She must be quite misunderstanding our relationship.

But that could be cleared up later. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, later, in the future. What wonderful words those are.

Shaking off the slight anxiety that remained in me, I slowly approached Airin.

With her head bowed, staring blankly at something, she looked pitiful.

Perhaps it was because I could see the rain falling outside the window behind her.

“My lady.”

Selfishly perhaps, I wanted her to smile at me at least.

If I left in this gloomy atmosphere, with Airin wearing such a depressed expression, wouldn’t it feel quite unsettling?

I called Airin gently, but she didn’t raise her head at my call.

She continued to stare somewhere, as if waiting for some answer from me, without opening her mouth.

“My lady.”

Perhaps what she wanted from me was for me to say I wouldn’t go.

Regrettably, I had no intention of saying that. I didn’t want to go this far, but

The corners of my mouth, which had curved gently, drew a horizontal line. Coldness began to settle in my eyes as I looked at Airin.

No matter how stubborn she was being, nothing would change, would it?

Both Airin and I needed to accept reality now. Instead of being stubborn and telling me not to go,

I wanted her to simply say “be careful” more than anything.

“Airin.”

I grabbed Airin’s hand resting on the desk.

Somewhat roughly, I gripped Airin’s shoulder with my other hand, and only then did she turn her head and glare at me.

It was cold. As if frost had settled in those eyes, making them freeze.

But I didn’t avert my gaze. If I averted my gaze now and ended the conversation like this, nothing would change.

“…You know what? What Evan is doing to me is quite presumptuous.”

“I know.”

“I am the young head of Yuris, and you are merely a knight escort.”

“I am aware.”

“Even so, do you think it’s right to grab my shoulder like this?”

Airin twisted her wrist that I was holding. As if trying to break free from my grip,

She glared at me with considerable force, but I quietly opened my mouth while still holding her shoulder.

“I think it is the right action.”

“…Ha.”

Airin looked at me as if in disbelief, then eventually slapped my hand away and moved her lips.

“No matter how many black mages you deal with, you’re still just my knight escort. Acting like this, just because we’ve kissed a few times, thinking you can behave this way toward me… it’s not right. Evan, you said it yourself. You won’t always return injured, but—always!”

Airin struck the table and bit her lip. I didn’t respond,

And after pushing away my hand from her shoulder, Airin continued.

“Always, you come back injured. What is this black mage anyway? It doesn’t matter how many of them there are. I don’t care. I don’t care how many black mages or extinctions there are in this empire. Evan, please. Do you understand what I’m saying? I don’t care if the empire falls to such black mages. Now… yes, now…”

After staring at me blankly for a moment, Airin eventually covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

“You… are more precious to me.”

Airin’s shoulders trembled. Despite covering her face with her hands, tears flowed down the back of her hands and fell to the floor.

Wetting the book, wetting the floor. Though the rain was clearly falling outside, it seemed to be raining on her.

As if dark clouds filled the surroundings, and she stood in the middle, soaked by rain.

I quietly took Airin’s hand again.

What should I answer? That it will be okay? That everything will be resolved well this time too, like before?

Between Airin and me, there was a subtle understanding of each other’s hearts.

That’s why she must also feel it. That this subjugation is quite different from before.

Airin’s face was covered by her hands.

I carefully removed her hands that were wiping her tear-soaked face.

“…Didn’t I tell you? Crying doesn’t suit you well.”

Although I had ended up making her cry,

I didn’t want to see her crying like this.

Her eyes were red, with tears flowing beneath them.

Gently wiping away those tears with my fingers, I smiled faintly as if to reassure her.

“I am not that weak. This time, Lord Theorad will be with me, and Lord Azest will also join us. I was injured before because I went alone, wasn’t I? I am most worried about you, my lady.”

Since Airin still couldn’t answer as she hadn’t stopped crying, I continued speaking slowly while wiping away the rest of her tears.

“If you’re afraid of me not being by your side, you don’t need to worry too much.”

The blue necklace around Airin’s neck caught my eye.

Actually, I hadn’t told Airin, but it had a tracking spell that could be used just once, deliberately placed there by magic.

If Airin disappeared, I would be able to locate her position.

If something happened to her, I would know immediately.

If Airin was worried about such things, I gently stroked her head to reassure her.

“When such a situation arises, I will come to you before anyone else. You know this. Even the Bone Dragon died by my hand. If a dragon died by my hand, how could I be seriously injured by a mere knight who is just good with a sword?”

Jokingly, casually.

Watching Airin’s expression gradually relax, I didn’t stop speaking.

If I confessed in this atmosphere, well… it wouldn’t be too late to do it after everything was over.

Actually, I had been thinking quite a lot about confession.

What kind of atmosphere would be good, though it would probably be after all the issues with Roman were resolved.

Sometimes I would imagine the future thinking about such things.

“Your knight is not that weak.”

On a snowy day, I promised Airin. That I would always remain as her knight escort.

I didn’t want to break that promise. It was winter then, and it’s summer now.

Weren’t there still dozens of winters left to spend with Airin? I could smile a bit more relieved than before.

Embracing Airin, who was now staring at me with reddened eyes after stopping her tears, I quietly murmured.

“So Airin, you don’t need to worry too much. Just smiling is enough. Do you want me to remember you crying as I leave?”

“…That’s not it.”

“Then as an apology, how about giving me a kiss?”

When I lightly tapped my lips, Airin burst into laughter and placed her hand on my chest.

Since I had no intention of doing it now anyway, I smiled faintly and moved my body away slightly.

Airin looked at me with a strange expression.

“I was joking.”

“I took it… seriously.”

“If we did it now, I might be late for the subjugation.”

“…Just how long were you planning to do it that you say such things?”

“Long enough that you’d never forget it for the rest of your life. Perhaps… long enough to take your breath away.”

If I did that, Airin wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to me properly because she’d be so dazed…

Well, I intended to save that pleasure for later.

Wouldn’t it be more meaningful to do such things after returning gloriously?

Airin, who had slowly moved away from me, sighed while looking at me.

Unlike before, her face seemed a bit more relaxed, which I thought was quite fortunate.

We couldn’t stay gloomy forever, could we?

I gently pulled Airin’s hand and caressed it softly, then looked out the window.

Outside, where darkness had settled, it was no longer raining.

The clear sky had not a single cloud, and only a crescent moon, thinner than a new moon, faintly shone.

Dawn was not far away, but now my heart wasn’t so heavy.

Like that clear sky, wouldn’t today’s events go well too?

Dawn approaches.

Perhaps a dawn where everything could change.

Although it briefly darkened as clouds formed from the blowing wind covered the stars,

The stars still sparkled between them.

Yes, everything would be fine.

Even in this darkened sky, like those brilliantly shining stars, we would not lose hope.