Ch.82Chapter 82

I said I was ready to die right now. I knew that dragging things out would only make our hearts heavier.

However, the Professor seemed to find it difficult to deal with me directly and suggested we take some time to think, so I agreed. After all, the Professor had secured a place for me to be with others like this, and I didn’t want to burden her heart.

It was my own way of being considerate.

“…Hmm.”

May was already passing by. Final exams would be coming soon, and I was wondering what to do until then.

There’s no festival anymore, so would there be any fun events?

“How about the beach?”

Just as I was thinking about this, Sera suddenly poked her head in. I blinked in surprise.

“The beach…?”

The four of us who had settled in the study group’s side room began to discuss it seriously.

Among us, Sera was the most enthusiastic.

“Summer means beaches! Playing on the sandy shore, swimming in the ocean, doing all sorts of fun things. Don’t you think? I heard beach volleyball is fun too…”

“Jet skiing?”

“That would be fun too.”

When Aria added a comment, Sera nodded and pointed at her with her finger. They seemed to have thought about this beforehand.

Karen and I could only blink with blank expressions at their enthusiasm.

They appeared to be planning for after the semester ended, since there wasn’t much to do in the immediate future.

“We could rent a pension, have a barbecue, it would be great. What do you think, Karen?”

“Ah… I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’ll be free then…”

“Huh? Do you have something to do after the semester ends? Are you taking summer classes…?”

Sera looked at Karen with a doubtful expression in response to her words. Karen shook her head vigorously.

“No, not that. I’m thinking of getting a part-time job.”

Karen laughed awkwardly, and Sera seemed momentarily frozen.

Whatever the reason, mentioning a part-time job was enough to suggest that Karen needed money, either for living expenses or pocket money.

Sera made a thoughtful sound and considered seriously before nodding.

“If you need a part-time job, would you like to try one at a place I know? I know a café owner, I could ask if they have a position available.”

“Ah, no! I don’t know much about cafés…!”

Karen waved her hands in refusal.

Aria glanced at Sera and sighed.

“Why, why are you reacting like that?”

“Nothing.”

Aria, who had been shaking her head, just shrugged at Sera’s question, dismissing it as nothing important. Only Aria seemed to know what she was thinking.

My thoughts were becoming jumbled.

I had to think about dying, consider the Professor’s feelings, and now plan for a beach trip—it certainly wasn’t easy.

Was it always this difficult?

With nowhere to vent my frustrations, I just accepted it. It couldn’t be helped. Just as one can’t only do things they like, or avoid everything they dislike, I couldn’t spill out all the words I was suffering with inside.

Because I’m a Demon God. I passed the time reminding myself of that.

The beach, huh.

“What else would we do at the beach?”

When I casually asked, Aria turned her gaze toward me. Karen was flustered, saying, “Oh? If Ourr goes, will the Professor go too?” And Sera, seemingly fine with anything, slapped the table and stood up.

“First thing when we get there, we eat sashimi! Seafood!”

Although finals were still ahead, the atmosphere was cheerful since we weren’t pressed for time yet. The mood was uplifted, and I found myself getting excited along with everyone else.

**

Numbers changing at regular intervals. It didn’t even require much time. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen as the numbers changed rapidly every 10 seconds.

I had put in 10,000 Riel. It was a heart-pounding amount to spend all at once, but I had to do this.

I had safely diversified my investment, so even if I lost a large sum at once, I could find hope elsewhere.

I constantly checked five different places with 2,000 Riel each. They went up and down repeatedly. Even if they dropped a little, there was a possibility of recovery as long as they didn’t plummet.

Even when they rose, I couldn’t be satisfied and kept thinking, just a little more, just a little more. And so I waited.

It felt addictive. The constantly changing numbers seemed to circle in my head, making normal daily life difficult. But I had no choice. This was all I had left.

This was all I had left.

My family who had to die due to a Demon God’s whim. My home that had to disappear because of a Demon God’s tyranny. Nothing remained except compensation money.

Even with this money, my family wouldn’t come back—who would heal this pain?

After visiting a psychiatric hospital for a while, the money disappeared, and as time passed, more money gradually vanished from paying for school and food.

That was too painful, so I eventually ended up here.

I knew my mind was sick. But what could I do? This was all I had left.

It was difficult to get compensation for my collapsed house, so I only received a pittance. Because of that, I was left with just small change, and I had nowhere to call home.

When I realized I was clutching my phone and fixating on numbers, I felt self-loathing.

“Damn it, damn it…!”

But cryptocurrencies weren’t stable.

Unlike stocks that close weekly, they weren’t influenced by companies but mostly by people’s whims or the manipulations of those moving large sums of money.

I knew this, but…

I thought I could just ride the wave and profit, but I never expected such a disaster to happen while I was sleeping, and it made me want to cry tears of blood.

“Ah, what is this?”

There was no consolation in having diversified my investments. Two coins suddenly began to bottom out. Apparently, though I didn’t know it, they had the same owner.

As soon as I woke up, I searched for the coins I had invested in.

[‘Lend Coin’ founder Lagris disappears. 15 million Riel vanishes instantly. Police Bureau launches investigation.]

Is this insane? How can someone just take the money and disappear overnight? Did he flee to another country? Can’t they catch him?

That wasn’t the issue. Half of my entire savings of 10,000 Riel had vanished overnight. I couldn’t bear it and pulled at my hair.

What is this nonsense first thing in the morning? Where did all my money go?

“Aaaaargh!”

I lost my mind momentarily. I swept everything off my dormitory desk in a fit of rage. Books and handouts fell, and my mug shattered into pieces.

I was breathing heavily. Unable to control my excitement, I clenched my fists tightly.

It’s all because of Demon Gods from the beginning. Why do Demon Gods exist in this world? Weren’t elves and dwarves already more than enough?

Why, why do Demon Gods have to exist?

Despite two years of education about Demon Gods at the Academy, I still didn’t understand how they came to be or why they needed to exist. The predominant thought was: why do such beings need to exist at all?

I was irritated.

Even though I recognized that I lost money because I invested in cryptocurrency, somehow my anger was directed at Demon Gods.

The thought kept circling in my mind: if it weren’t for Demon Gods, if such beings didn’t exist, none of this would have happened.

My agitated emotions refused to calm down. My shoulders trembled. I sighed and gritted my teeth.

No, I still have half left. It’s not over yet. I just need to manage the remaining money well. I lost half, so I just need to earn that much back.

I tried to endure, endure, and endure more.

But as time passed, there was no hope that the money would increase. Some coins reportedly rose instantly from 1 Riel to 10 Riel, even 100 Riel, but for some reason, that didn’t happen with the ones I invested in.

I grew anxious. I bit my nails and shook my legs. I tried moving my investments to different coins, but each time, they hit bottom just as I bought in, so I only lost money without gaining anything.

It gradually eroded away.

Needlessly moving funds around, I lost 400 Riel, 100 Riel, bit by bit, until my entire savings became less than 5,000 Riel? No, not even 3,000 Riel.

I realized this is how people go crazy. The substantial amount I once had in my possession had become an amount that wouldn’t last even a few months.

My trembling emotions eventually led me to one place.

“……”

I browsed through miscellaneous items at a 1 Riel mart. And there, I bought a kitchen knife.

I wanted to die. I wanted to die, but just as much, I wanted to kill someone. If it weren’t for Demon Gods, my life wouldn’t have become this miserable.

I would have had a home to return to, and I wouldn’t have been anxious over a few coins. If I could go back, surely my parents would have welcomed me, and my sister wouldn’t have secretly eaten my ice cream and pretended she didn’t…!

My life felt so pathetic and miserable, always losing things, that I desperately wanted to make the responsible party feel the same way.

Unfortunately, someone with the job title “Demon God Slayer” had already killed the Demon God who murdered my family, but I didn’t care anymore. If only I could kill a Demon God.

I gritted my teeth with that thought.