Ch.81Supplication

*

If there was one thing left that could help Silvia, whose sense of time had atrophied, perceive the flow of time even a little, it would surely be the changing of seasons.

Even though Silvia didn’t count the days and just let them pass in a daze, she could at least notice changes in weather and environment.

Silvia shivered slightly at the cold wind blowing.

Before she knew it, autumn was in full swing with quite chilly winds.

Perhaps in a few days, she would be able to see her breath in the air.

Silvia slowly lowered her gaze.

“… Hah,”

Silvia sighed and slowly lowered herself, plopping down on the corpse of a large monster that lay bleeding at her feet.

Not just beneath her, but all around her were countless monster corpses and pools of blood flowing from them.

Since the surge of magical energy, monsters had become as lively as fish in water, and their numbers had greatly increased.

Silvia had slaughtered them all.

She couldn’t even remember when she had last slept.

It must have been since the day Ash disappeared.

“… Ha,”

Silvia exhaled a laugh mixed with a sigh.

It was a cold sneer directed at herself.

She terribly resented her own complacency.

I may get tired if I don’t sleep, but I won’t die.

Despite knowing this fact well, that day she had fallen asleep out of habit, having grown too accustomed to sleeping beside Ash.

If she had stayed awake, could she have prevented Ash from disappearing?

Silvia shook her head, trying to clear her mind of these thoughts.

She had something to do now.

She needed to clean her sword before it got damaged.

She slowly took out a cloth from inside her garment and wiped off the blood and fat from her sword.

It was a piece of cloth cut from the pants she had been wearing.

Since all cloth except what she was wearing had burned, she had no choice but to use this to clean her sword.

Her armor had also melted in the flames that burned down the cabin, making it completely unwearable, so she was only wearing a thin cloth tunic that barely covered her knees.

Without clothes to protect her body, she got injured more often.

Of course, no matter how sharp a monster’s claws or how deadly its poison, they couldn’t take her life.

This was partly because the Demon King’s curse protected Silvia, but also because she wasn’t one to be defeated by mere monsters.

But even for Silvia, bruises accumulated daily, and cuts became frequent.

However, Silvia didn’t care at all.

Her only concern was killing every monster in this forest.

That way, Ash, who might be hiding somewhere, would be safe.

“…Ash.”

How long had it been since Ash disappeared?

She wasn’t exactly sure, but at least one season must have passed.

Silvia made this judgment as she blankly looked up at the sky.

The sky visible through the thickly grown trees looked particularly high.

“…Let’s finish cleaning quickly, the blade is quite worn, I’ll need to sharpen it.”

Silvia murmured as she slowly caressed the blade through the cloth, then lowered her head and moved her hands busily.

Among the monsters she had hunted recently, there was a wolf with obsidian claws.

Obsidian was the perfect abrasive for sharpening a blade.

Sharpening her sword, wandering aimlessly, killing every monster she saw.

Cleaning her sword again, wandering, killing monsters.

This had been Silvia’s routine lately.

Though Silvia couldn’t remember exactly, she had actually spent almost as much time like this as she had with Ash.

The happy times with Ash that came to mind so easily when she tried to recall them.

The day Ash disappeared, which kept coming back to her mind even when she tried not to remember.

These two memories were what drove Silvia to keep moving, despite being hurt, tired, hungry, and heavily intoxicated with magical energy.

“Where are you… right now…”

She refused to believe that Ash was dead.

No, she tried not to believe it.

Because these cursed red eyes of hers had not yet seen his corpse.

Because she had not yet seen him dead.

Because she had searched the surroundings thoroughly but couldn’t find him anywhere.

Ash had literally disappeared.

As if all the daily life spent with him had been nothing but a hallucination.

What if he was dead?

If I saw Ash dead, would I be able to keep my sanity?

If Ash were to be resurrected as an undead, could I kill him like Ash had burned Laila?

Numerous worries and questions had overwhelmed Silvia.

In the end, she forcibly straightened her repeatedly collapsing will, mustered what little courage she could, and set out to find Ash, but

Even after thoroughly searching several hundred meters in every direction from where Ash had disappeared, she couldn’t find any trace of him.

Just in case, she even returned to Milwood Village, but only barren ashes greeted her.

Honestly, Silvia had seriously wondered if she had gone mad.

Was Ash even a real person?

Perhaps he was just a pathetic illusion created by her poor brain dying alone in this forest.

Humanly speaking, could there really be a man so kind, good at cooking, cute, and sexy?

No, more than that, could there really be someone who would so readily accept such a gloomy situation as being unable to leave this forest?

She couldn’t help but think such thoughts.

But now, the graves of Laila and the five priests she had found in the charred ruins of Milwood Village clearly proved that Ash was not just a fantasy lover created by Silvia’s miserable imagination.

Ash definitely existed.

No, what am I thinking?

He still exists.

Silvia murmured softly as she resumed moving her hands that had stopped without her realizing.

“…I don’t know why the magical energy appeared, or where you went… Still,”

Silvia continued speaking as she slowly took out the obsidian claw from her garment and began sharpening the tip of her sword.

“This is how I live, Ash. This is… what I can do for you.”

As she ran the obsidian claw along the blade, dazzling sparks flew up with a crackling sound.

Silvia murmured, recalling a conversation she once had with Ash.

Her voice was gentle, as if Ash were right in front of her.

“I told you that sword maintenance should be done regularly, almost immediately after using it… remember? This is how you do it.”

Back then, when their relationship was still awkward and they didn’t have much to talk about.

Realizing that he was interested in her adventure stories, Silvia had excitedly talked about her area of expertise, uncharacteristically animated.

After rambling on about weapon maintenance and care for a while, she suddenly worried that she might be talking too much about something the other person wasn’t interested in, and looked at Ash with a startled expression.

Fortunately, Ash was looking at Silvia with an intrigued expression.

The relief she felt at that moment was still so vivid that Silvia couldn’t help but smile.

“…I want to… talk with you again.”

Silvia’s hands slowed down again.

Her mind was already filled with Ash’s smiling face.

Inhaling the bloody smell that filled the air, Silvia slowly closed her eyes.

She wasn’t disgusted by the smell of blood.

No, rather, smelling blood made her feel happy.

When living with Ash, the smell of blood was nothing less than a promise of happy times.

On days when she returned covered in the blood of her prey, Ash would always welcome her with a bright smile and serve delicious food made from freshly caught meat.

On the day she killed the monster bear that had been tormenting Ash by cutting it in half, he had cutely sobbed and collapsed into her arms.

Even on the day when Ash had killed a person and was covered in blood, he came to her at night, begging to sleep together.

Thus, the thick and strong smell of blood always brought sweet times with Ash.

Perhaps that’s why Silvia continues to kill monsters.

Because someday, Ash will reward her.

“…I’ll ask him to do it… inside. Yes, I’ve worked hard enough to ask for that much this time.”

Silvia smiled sadly and chuckled, “Hehe.”

She had been hunting monsters frantically all this time, but today, memories of last summer spent with Ash slowly crossed her mind.

This summer wasn’t hotter than the last, but it still felt exceptionally hot.

It wasn’t the weather, but the time spent with Ash that was hot and intense.

Silvia felt her lower abdomen throb and blushed.

“Ash… haah…”

Sometimes it’s okay to take a moment like this, isn’t it?

Just thinking about Ash makes me this happy,

Silvia thought as she put the obsidian claw back into her garment.

The well-maintained blade gleamed a cold blue.

When her red eyes reflected on the side of the sword, the smile on her face slowly faded.

The face reflected in the sword seemed to speak to her.

How do you have time for this?

What if Ash is targeted by monsters?

You haven’t even found him yet, what are you grinning about?

Are you trying to survive alone again, like when you abandoned your soldiers, comrades, friends, and even Maria?

Silvia put down her sword with a hardened face and without a word.

“…This much… leisure… should be fine…”

The air is cold.

Whether it’s because the weather has gotten colder, her body has weakened, or her clothes are thin.

The very chilly air slowly settled through the branches, cooling Silvia’s body that had heated up with memories of Ash.

Silvia’s lips twisted.

She dropped her sword and grabbed her face.

Hot tears wet Silvia’s palms, as if the heat warming her entire body was escaping through her eyes.

Because she was too sad.

Because she was too distressed.

Because she was too, lonely.

Words that should never be spoken swirled in her mouth, and finally flowed out between her twisted lips.

“Because… I actually know.”

I want to die.

I want to be torn apart by monster claws and die.

I want to writhe in pain from poison that seeps into my wounds and die.

I want to die of hunger.

I wish my body, deprived of sleep, would twist in fatigue and die.

“I want to lose. I don’t want this anymore… I don’t want to be a hero. I… I want to die too.”

Silvia finally revealed the truth deep in her heart.

“Because you’re not here…”

The truth.

No, the reality.

“No matter what I do… you can’t come back! I!”

Silvia’s voice cracked.

Just as her heart already had.

“I know too… I know…”

These eyes.

If I could tear out these damn red eyes, could I end this disgusting life?

Ha, as if that could happen.

These eyeballs wouldn’t let themselves be torn out so easily.

I know because I’ve tried it before.

“But I can’t go to you… I can’t go…”

Silvia pleaded very quietly in a voice like metal.

“Ash, please come back… please…”

A strange wind blew from somewhere.

A wind with a fragrant lemon scent.

But Silvia paid no attention.

The wind only made her skin, which had no collar to pull tight, feel colder,

.