Ch. 81 MtF – Chapter 81
by AfuhfuihgsChapter 81
**Even If It’s Not a Dream? (3)**
Eight weeks in the hospital—and then another eight.
I’d heard somewhere that you’re not supposed to donate blood again until at least eight weeks have passed after your last donation.
Makes sense, I guess. People kinda _need_ their blood to live.
And yeah… after the first time I donated, I felt so dizzy I nearly threw up. It was _rough_.
—
“Yeoreum, are you okay? It doesn’t look like anything’s seriously wrong, but still…”
“…I’ve got no strength at all.”
“Do you still have a fever?”
“…Yeah. It’s not too bad though. The doctors said not to worry too much.”
I also learned something new: when you have less blood in your body, your immune system drops like a rock.
The doctor, probably expecting that, had moved me into the same sterile wing where Koyuki was, just to be safe. But even then, a small fever managed to slip through.
First draw, wait 8 weeks. Second draw, wait another 8. Then a third time.
I wasn’t sure if my tiny body could even provide enough for a full transfusion. But apparently, because Koyuki’s body was just as small, the amount needed wasn’t _that_ high.
Honestly, thank goodness.
“I hope the surgery goes well.”
“It will. It has to. You’ve done everything you could.”
Toya reached out to me, but her hand stopped at the transparent barrier between us.
Because of my weakened immune system, I couldn’t be touched for a while—not even by Toya.
I’d noticed something, too: Toya’s expression had grown more and more worn out ever since I was hospitalized.
Made me feel kinda guilty.
“…Still, you’d prefer Koyuki getting better too, right?”
“I’d rather _you_ be healthy.”
“…Really? Then I guess I better get better as fast as I can.”
I tried to sound confident, but realistically, there was only _one_ way to recover faster: eating and sleeping.
My body needed calories to fend off infections while my immune system was down, and I needed rest to rebuild those defenses.
Luckily, even if my body was small, I digested pretty fast. So if I ate bit by bit, I could keep snacking for nearly half a day straight.
…Which meant I basically had to spend half the day eating, and the other half sleeping. Great.
“Don’t push yourself too hard trying to eat, okay?”
“I’m not _that_ dumb. Cramming food into an already full stomach is a waste—especially if I throw it back up.”
I popped a fruit slice into my mouth with a little _nom_.
Honestly, I’d never eaten this aggressively before in my life. I’d probably need a full-on fast once I got better at this rate.
Still… this was all for Koyuki.
—
I _tried_ to stay calm, but I just couldn’t.
Only a single door separated me from the operating room, but the thought that Koyuki was right behind it, going through surgery, made my body tremble.
_shiver shiver shiver_
I wasn’t someone who fidgeted, but my legs were bouncing uncontrollably.
It’s gonna be okay, right? It _has_ to be okay. Koyuki’s strong. She’ll pull through.
_“…I’ll be back, Minori.”_
“…Yeah. You said you’d come back.”
I took a slow breath, remembering those words she said right before being wheeled in.
I was always there for her whenever she was in pain. And now, when it mattered most, I couldn’t do anything.
Maybe I should’ve studied medicine instead of art after all…
—
“Ragu-sensei.”
“…Toya.”
“She’ll be fine. Here, have something. You’re going to stay until the surgery’s over, right?”
She handed me a can. Not coffee—an energy drink.
The kind gamers and night owls drink when pulling all-nighters.
Koyuki couldn’t drink them because of her condition, but me? I used to chug these during late-night drawing sessions or when I was trying to finally beat her at a game.
Seeing one now brought back those memories.
And it was honestly a relief.
I was exhausted, and just a little caffeine might help me stay sharp.
“…What about Yeoreum? I heard she’s not doing so well either…”
“The nurse is watching her right now. But honestly, Ragu-sensei, _you’re_ the one who looks like you’re about to collapse.”
I rubbed the back of my head, smiling awkwardly. She chuckled softly.
Toya didn’t look so great either—dark circles under her eyes.
I shot her a look, and she responded by pulling another can out of her bag and giving me a knowing grin.
Yeah, okay. Fair.
_gulp gulp gulp_
“…Ahh, finally starting to feel awake again.”
“You haven’t been sleeping either, right? You need to take care of yourself too. Koyuki wouldn’t want you running yourself into the ground.”
“…Yeah. She’s always worried about me, even when she’s the one who’s sick.”
After that awful flu, Koyuki always looked at me with those big, concerned eyes any time I so much as yawned.
Honestly… I don’t know who was taking care of who sometimes.
She’d be so much better off if she focused on herself instead.
“…Same with Yeoreum. Every time she coughs, I freak out. I ask if she’s okay and she always says she’s fine—every single time. But I _know_ she’s not.”
“Same. That kid needs to start saying ‘I’m a little sick’ at least once in her life.”
It was almost ironic how alike they were.
Not just their appearance—down to the DNA, apparently—but the way they behaved.
Both of them hid their pain. Both of them said “I’m fine” even when they clearly weren’t.
Maybe that’s what being twins means… even if they were apart for decades, they still shared the same instincts.
“I’m sure it’s been hard for you, Toya.”
“It’s okay. I kind of accepted it the moment I decided to live with Yeoreum. Honestly, I wouldn’t even _be_ here if it weren’t for her.”
“…I see.”
Even if it _was_ hard, if the person going through it didn’t think of it as hardship, then it wasn’t.
And no one calls caring for family a burden.
Even if it is, no one wants to say it out loud.
That goes for me, and Toya too.
Living with someone like Koyuki—that’s just how it is.
“Me too.”
“…?”
“I’ll believe in her. That Koyuki will make it through the surgery. That she’ll walk out of that room healthy again.”
There wasn’t much else we could do except wait in the hallway like this.
But if we held onto hope… maybe the best outcome would come to us.
Koyuki had told me herself—_“Please wait for me.”_
So I would.
—
**[Today’s Natsu Voice Live]**
**[(Super low-energy Natsu Voice Live)]
Doesn’t she sound… _way_ too low-energy? Is her condition getting worse or something??**
ㄴ[It’s not even like “sick low”—it’s like… _lazy cat in the sun_ low lol]
ㄴ[Totally just flopped out like a house pet ㅋㅋㅋ]
ㄴ[Natsu saying “I’ll recover properly and come back stronger” 🥲]
ㄴ[(I’m sorry Natsu is sick Kon)]
ㄴ[(I’ll get healthy!! Kon)]
ㄴ[ㄴPlease actually get better, Natsu…]
ㄴ[ㄴIf she stays sick, we’re all gonna die emotionally!!]
**[Natsu’s low voice is kinda… strange?]**
**[Like, it still sounds young, but there’s this weird maturity to it… It’s kinda… well, uh…]**
ㄴ[Say it. Say it.]
ㄴ[(Inari Pedo Extermination Authority Kon)]
ㄴ[(Inari Pedo Extermination Authority Kon)]
ㄴ[Hearing this reminds me that Natsu’s actually an _adult_.]
ㄴ[ㄴIf her age matched her voice, it wouldn’t hit like this ㅋㅋ]
ㄴ[Which voice is her _real_ one though? The slightly mature one? Or her usual stream voice?]
ㄴ[ㄴTotomo-chan makes it seem like the stream voice is just her being herself.]
ㄴ[ㄴNah, this kind of contrast makes it even _better_ sometimes…]
ㄴ[ㄴ??]
ㄴ[ㄴ(Inari Pedo Extermination Authority Kon)]
ㄴ[ㄴHow dare you call Natsu a pedo victim. RESPECT Natsu.]
ㄴ[ㄴ(Inari Pedo Extermination Authority Kon)]
ㄴ[ㄴ(Inari Pedo Extermination Authority Kon)]
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