Ch.80Chapter 80: Second Day at the Fortress (2)

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*Gulp*

I swallow dryly.

Just watching Shizu’s small, vibrant red lips—which truly deserve to be described as small and sparkling like cherries—move slightly is enough to make me swallow.

It must be the effect of what happened a few tens of minutes ago.

Overlapping my lips with those small, beautiful lips…

*Thump thump*

Oh, goodness. Just recalling it makes my heart race.

My heart has no self-restraint.

In my current physical state, I could probably run across this freezing snowy plain outside for hours without tiring.

Yet that same heart accelerates my blood flow and pounds just from remembering what happened earlier with the person I love.

I was about to form a bitter smile at how mysterious the human body is, even as my heart raced, but…

“Um… so.”

Thanks to the soft voice coming from Shizu’s tiny lips, I was able to focus on her words instead of forming that bitter smile.

Not just my hearing, but all my senses wanted to concentrate on her, so I gazed at her with more depth in my eyes than the calmness I had been projecting.

Perhaps it was because I was focusing my gaze on her so intently.

“Ka… Karl…”

In her small, parted lips as she stammered my name…

I could see her determination to ask me something despite her embarrassment.

What could she want to ask that makes her wear such a shy expression and stammer, yet still try so hard to continue speaking?

Curiosity rose in me as my mind tried to guess what she might say.

But I strongly felt that this wasn’t something to deduce or guess—it was something I should hear directly from her lips.

So I cooled my mind that was seeking answers and deepened the tenderness and warmth in my gaze as I looked at her.

I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to speak freely without feeling pressured by my gaze.

Perhaps because it was a simple, modest wish rather than something grandiose, the ruby pendant around my neck didn’t emit any light, but…

“…”

I could easily sense that Shizu’s expression showed comfort rather than hesitation in response to my wish.

It was unmistakable.

That same comfort I always tried to give her when I first started liking her—seeing it now made me think…

Hmm, she’ll clearly tell me what she wants to say soon.

With that thought, I listened carefully, focusing on the words about to come from her mouth.

Unfortunately, although she had regained her composure, she still seemed to find it burdensome to speak aloud.

Shizu’s small, pretty moving lips produced a voice so quiet that even my ears could barely hear it.

But since I was carefully watching the shape of her lips…

I could clearly see her mouth form the words “what happened earlier.”

What happened earlier.

What is she talking about…

Ah…!

*Thump thump*

Just remembering it makes my heart race without restraint again.

That memory of briefly sharing sensations with the softest thing in this world—I think I’ll recall it often when I need energy.

As my heart raced and I tried to maintain my composure, Shizu’s pretty lips parted again, and I heard a tiny voice that I could only understand by reading her lips.

It was a very brief phrase—”How was it?”

But the meaning contained within was far deeper than its brevity would suggest.

It felt almost desperate.

Though her voice was small, I understood what she was trying to ask, so I had an obligation to answer.

Of course, the appropriate response was clear.

An earnest, sincere answer: “Though it was brief, I was incredibly happy.”

And after that answer, there was another question I needed to carefully ask:

“How was it for you?”

Each word needed to be carefully chosen, and my tone needed to be infused with gentleness—a delicate and difficult task.

But these were words that should come out without hesitation to ensure my intentions weren’t misunderstood by her.

“…”

Yet my loudly beating heart kept my mouth firmly shut, despite my obligation to respond to Shizu’s tiny voice.

*Thump thump*

This is awkward.

After thinking of all these things to say, I find myself unable to open my mouth. The situation is unbearably awkward.

I feel like I should say something—anything—to break this awkwardness.

But my mouth simply won’t open.

Having experienced death twice and gone through life experiences incomparable to ordinary people,

I had believed without doubt that I would react calmly to most situations.

But my body and mouth aren’t following my control.

I suppose when the kiss with her continued earlier,

It should have ended with warm words and gazes exchanged between us.

But because my sister barged in, it ended awkwardly and abruptly, and now that awkward atmosphere has returned, creating this uncomfortable silence.

[What are you doing? When a woman musters the courage to speak, a man should respond in some way. Tsk tsk…]

Paphnir’s sarcastic voice, seemingly trying to get back at me for earlier, only makes my mind more complicated—I don’t even have the energy to retort.

Just as I feel a chill down my spine from the crisis that our relationship might remain awkward during our entire stay at Night Haven if I don’t say something now…

*Grumble*

“…Hmm?”

A strange sound, completely out of place in this situation, reached my ears.

It was the sound of a stomach growling.

Wondering where it came from, I turned my head this way and that to locate the source.

But the more I looked around, the more I realized one fact:

That although we were outdoors, only Shizu and I were in this space.

And this sound didn’t come from my stomach.

Which means…

Trying my best to hide my bewilderment, I turned my head toward the source of the stomach growl across from me.

“Uh… uhhh…”

I witnessed Shizu’s dramatic transformation—her expression and entire body changing drastically due to the sudden situation that left her unable to respond flexibly.

Oh dear…

It seems that before answering her question,

I should first think about how to comfort her as she struggles with her embarrassment.

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*Grumble*

…Ugh!

I had finally managed to calm my pounding heart and say a few words to Karl in a small voice, and then…

Why does my stomach have to growl so inconsiderately at a time like this?

“Uh… uhhh…”

The voice escaping from my lips perfectly expresses how I feel right now, as I don’t know what to do.

How should I hide my embarrassment?

I want to move away from his line of sight, but that seems impossible, so I’ll have to cover my face with both hands.

This is truly frustrating.

I was just trying to say something simple, but I was so nervous that my body sent signals for nutrients, creating this dramatic effect—I never expected this.

How did it come to this?

After carefully following Karl outside the dormitory so as not to disturb Iriana, who had stayed up all night…

I should have been contemplating yesterday evening’s attack and maintaining the proper attitude as a student participating in the subjugation festival.

But before fulfilling that important duty, I needed to do something related to something even more precious.

Yes, something truly precious.

It was about Karl, who cherishes me more than anyone in the world, and the little “incident” that happened earlier…

When our bodies intertwined.

It was… wonderful.

When Karl’s lips—warmer than anything that could be created by gathering all the warmest things in the world—overlapped with mine, it felt so good.

If time had allowed, I would have wanted to keep my lips pressed against his all day.

It was truly regrettable that we had to break apart because we weren’t in a private space.

But after that sweet moment passed so quickly, a question arose in my mind.

I wondered if that sweet, happy moment…

Was something that only I felt happy about.

When our lips accidentally overlapped, I was so happy…

So happy that I wanted to share not just our lips but other sensations too, pressing my body close to his.

But how did he… how did Karl feel about my actions?

I could feel his heart beating…

But I didn’t know if it was beating with joy like mine, or from embarrassment and awkwardness.

I wanted a clear answer.

I wanted to know how he felt about what I did earlier.

I thought I’d be fine with any answer.

If he felt happy like me, that would be wonderful.

But if he felt even slightly uncomfortable with my actions…

I was prepared to apologize without hesitation.

No matter how much I like him, and even knowing he likes me too…

Everything has its proper order.

If I had been too forward and made him uncomfortable, it would only be right to express my regret.

I’ve always wanted to emulate how he acts around me, always trying to make me comfortable.

Being with him since childhood has made me acutely aware of how inadequate I am.

Karl always tries to give me more than what I need, without me even having to ask.

I’ve always relied on his warmth without being much help to him.

Everything he does brings me warmth.

I often make mistakes because I don’t know what he wants, and I lack confidence even in the small things I do.

It’s the same now.

I could barely ask how he felt about what happened earlier, and just when I finally managed to speak…

The sound of my stomach growling brought everything back to square one.

…I’m so embarrassed.

With my head bowed and my face covered with both hands, I can’t see Karl’s expression, but I can guess.

He’s probably covering his mouth with his hand, trying not to laugh.

Sigh…

They say good things come with bad things, but for the good feeling to be interrupted before it fully faded away is truly sad, isn’t it…

*Grumble*

…Huh?

What’s that sound?

It’s not coming from my stomach?

I’m too overwhelmed with embarrassment for my stomach to make hunger sounds…

…What could it be?

*Grumble*

…Could it be?

With the continuous stomach growling sounds, I cautiously removed my hands from my face and lifted my head.

“Sorry. My stomach seems to be making a fuss, demanding food.”

There was Karl, scratching the back of his head with an embarrassed expression, giving me a warm gaze.

He’s close.

Even though he was slightly bent over, creating a reasonable distance between our faces…

It didn’t feel distant at all as he spoke warmly to me.

It’s not just my imagination that he feels closer than when our lips were pressed together earlier.

“Let’s eat first since we’re hungry. What happened, happened, and we have things to do before sunset.”

Karl approaches me, takes my hand, and leads me.

His kindness in deliberately making stomach noises to ease my embarrassment…

The carefulness in his touch as he takes my hand, worried I might feel uncomfortable—it’s all so gentle.

Even though his hand feels somewhat rough with calluses…

I realize anew that his hand possesses a softness that doesn’t fall short compared to anything soft I know.

The heat that had risen to my face from embarrassment is subsiding.

If I continue matching my steps with his, the cool breeze will probably drive away all the heat from my face…

“I enjoyed it too…”

…Eh?

What did he just say?

Before my embarrassment could fully subside, his voice rekindled the embers.

“I was so happy… I wished time would stop, even if just for a moment.”

…This isn’t just embers—it’s a full-on fire.

I can easily tell that my face is burning all the way to my ears, even without touching it.

The outside air that felt a bit cold doesn’t feel cold at all now.

I wish the wind were stronger.

I need a stronger, colder wind to calm the blood and heat rushing to my face.

*Step step*

I kept my face appropriately lowered so Karl wouldn’t see how flushed it was as I matched his pace.

I had the silly thought that if he said just a few more words to me here, my face might explode and disappear without a trace.

Really… I like him so much too.

It seems like he doesn’t like me more—it’s that my expressions of liking him always fall short.

I should do this more often in front of him.

But I lack courage, so today I’ll just keep it in my heart.

I like you. I really like you. So very much.

I love you.

…Perhaps I should practice saying these things to myself often, so I won’t be flustered and can do well when the real moment comes?

Hehe… Being loved by him from the morning—today is going to be a really good day.