Ch.7Ill-Fated NPCs (2)

Heh heh heh. That crazy pig woman. Her own husband was getting beaten to a pulp by me right before he died, and she dared to settle for just 20,000 cans.

That means I should have received 540,000 cans a year at 10,000 cans per week. 5.4 million won. For two years, that’s 10.8 million won. But I turned my back thinking I’d done well to squeeze out 200,000 won.

And monster hunting fees were 1.3 times higher. If a goblin was worth 100 cans, I should have received 130 cans each, and I hunted almost two daily without fail… Ah, I don’t want to think about it.

“Big brother. Are you hurting?”

“No, Ira. Brother’s not hurting.”

“Mmm. Don’t be sick. Okay?”

“Haha. Thanks to Ira, brother is completely fine.”

Forget it, just forget it. I thought about going back for revenge, but this country is doomed to fall anyway. I can’t get swept up in a tsunami while trying to take down those trash people.

No. I could probably withstand getting swept away. My HP status, unlike my physical condition, is ridiculously robust, and I’m living proof that level is king.

But not my sister, Ira. Level 2.

No matter how much HP she has, my sister can’t exceed the hundreds. She could trip on some random rock from who knows where and that would be the end.

What matters isn’t immediate money or revenge, but my sister’s safety. I need to focus solely on escaping to Aigram right away.

And so, while receiving my sister’s not-quite-nursing care, I recovered my strength.

“Big brother.”

“Yes?”

“Who is this stone lady?”

“Ah, this stone lad… Huh? Lady?”

I don’t see anything about that stone that indicates gender, so how did Ira decide it was a lady? Well. It doesn’t matter.

“That stone lady will protect Ira from now on.”

“Protect me? Then what about you, brother?”

“Of course I’ll protect Ira too! Ira is precious, so brother wants to protect you very, very much.”

“…Then who protects you, brother?”

“Haha. Don’t worry. Brother will protect Ira, and as long as Ira stays healthy, brother will always be healthy too!”

When I put my hands in my worried sister’s armpits and spin her around, she immediately bursts into delighted giggles.

That’s right. You don’t need to worry about me. With 300,000 HP, I can’t die even if I encounter a decent boss.

I just need to protect you. You’re all I have left.

As I strengthen my resolve and play with Ira, the status window beside me is being noisy.

[Not a lady. Not a lady. Not a lady. Not a lady. Not a lady.]

Ah, what do you want me to do about it?

*

I’m uneasy about letting the cold stone hold Ira.

My Ira, who has grown small and weak from malnutrition, needs careful temperature regulation. So I hold Ira in both arms as we run through the mountains, letting the mime golem take the lead.

The result.

-BANG!! BOOM!! CRASH!! CRACK!!

Wow. It really fights impressively dirty.

Before anything even appears in sight, the golem briefly disappears somewhere, a thunderous noise echoes, and then the blood-covered golem returns.

Though I couldn’t get a mount because the celestial horse died… well, in an accident, I’ve gained a decent escort.

I’m not going to claim I’m faster than a horse, but with my abundant stamina, I can reach the next village at a decent pace while carrying Ira in my arms.

After passing through several villages over a few days, we arrived at a large city that would give us direct access to the border.

“Ahh. Finally, a big city.”

“Wow!! Brother! Look! That person is spitting fire!!”

“Yes, that’s fun. Shall we watch for a while before we go?”

There’s no need to show that I’m tired. I immediately put Ira on my shoulders and look around.

Ponia is a country that was doomed from the start in the game. The scenery here is a fusion of Chinese and Western styles.

Hmm… my past life memory tells me that countries with “China” in them are doomed and therefore cheap. Well, this country stole my money, so it can collapse for all I care.

After taking my sister around to various places, buying her vegetable skewers and meat skewers, I went to an inn for a room…

“3,000 cans.”

“…What?”

“I said 3,000 cans.”

…3,000 for one night? Is this bastard insane?

I immediately walked out of the inn. I couldn’t understand how much they were trying to rip me off. As I moved on to the next inn.

“4,000.”

“3,500.”

“5,000.”

What is this? City prices? A mountain keeper’s weekly salary is 10,000 cans, but these guys earn my weekly salary from just two or three guests?

Does that make any sense?

As I turned to leave the inn that quoted 5,000, another person entered.

And then.

“400 cans, please.”

“…Huh?”

They quoted me 5,000 cans just now, but another customer gets it for 400? They’re charging over 12 times more?

“Excuse me, sir.”

“What?”

The man who had been speaking politely, albeit curtly, to the other person immediately switched to informal speech and frowned at me.

What kind of behavior is this?

“You just quoted me 5,000, didn’t you?”

“Huh? Did I? I misspoke…”

The man curled his lips upward at my words, then looked at me with contempt as he spoke.

“It’s 20,000 cans.”

“…What?”

He’s clearly just trying to mess with me, right? Why am I being treated like this?

“Hey, who do you think you are? Why are you giving us such a hard time?”

“Ha. You should be grateful I’m not reporting you, you piece of trash.”

“What?”

The man, who would have no defense if I reported him right now, pointed his finger behind me. I followed his gesture with my eyes.

“…A wanted poster?”

“Criminal scum. How dare you enter the city and think you can sleep here? Get out now!”

The man raises a club, threatening to hit me if I say anything more.

And at his action, Ira, sitting on my neck, tenses up and grips my hair tighter.

“Hey, golem. Take Ira.”

“Brother?”

“Ira. Close your eyes, tight.”

“Okay!”

The hooded golem behind me immediately took Ira in its arms, and I smashed the counter with my fist.

“Eek?!”

“Hey. There’s a child here. Be quiet and put down that club. Your face is next.”

“Y-yes, sir!!”

“Quiet.”

“…!!”

Deciding that this response was sufficient for now, I tore off the wanted poster and looked at it.

…What does this say?

[Mountain Keeper Jack and his sister, Ira. Wanted fugitives who extorted money from the village’s benefactors and fled, showing ingratitude.]

[Assault, theft, extortion. Crime of disobeying noble orders.]

[Report immediately upon discovery.]

[Poria Territory, Baron Bagzak Denpura -Baek-]

[*No bounty offered.]

…The status window translated the content, knowing I was illiterate. The final note is perfectly clear too.

Right, they won’t give a room to a criminal like me. But they won’t report me either because it might cause them trouble.

That man thought I was an easy target because I had a child with me, so he tried to drive me out with a club?

And I’m an ungrateful thug who extorted money, committed assault, and theft?

Ha, hahaha! These crazy bastards really have a death wish.

[Everything written is true except for the disobedience crime, benefactors, and ingratitude parts.]

“…Status window. Shut your mouth before I name you Poppy.”

[……]

The assault was initiated by them first, and I’ve always been the one getting beaten up. I didn’t extort money; I just collected what I was owed.

And what theft? Is taking money from the pockets of people who beat me theft?

No, I just collected compensation after taking a hit from each of them first!

After tearing up the absurd wanted poster, I put Ira back on my shoulders, kicked down the inn door, and left.

I wanted to act like the criminal they treated me as, and get revenge for my sister who was trembling despite having her eyes covered.

That’s all the meaning I put into it.

“Ira. I’ve got you.”

“B-brother. Are you okay?”

I’ve been smashing so many things that Ira doesn’t respond to my reassurance and anxiously grips my hair.

“Yes. I’m fine. It’s nothing. Hey, status window.”

[Yes.]

“From now on, when Ira closes her eyes tight, you block her ears too.”

[Yes.]

Thinking that I need to be careful about sound direction from now on, I took Ira and headed toward the city outskirts…

“Are you Mountain Keeper Jack?”

“No, I’m Tamer Tail.”

“…But the face on the wanted poster matches yours? And the girl above…”

“She’s my wife. Her name is Rai. Right, Rai?”

“Yes! I’m brother’s wife!”

My lolicon act was perfect. After all, my sister is smarter and more perceptive than I am!

However, our opponent didn’t believe our perfect performance.

“…I can’t believe you, so you’ll have to come with—”

“Status window. Throw them all away.”

It makes sense. After going in and out of various places in the city and leaving my face everywhere, with wanted posters circulating, of course they’d come to catch me.

The city guard appeared, and I politely acted to ensure they wouldn’t be harmed through lies and persuasion, but because they tried to get closer to a useless and unnecessary truth, they all ended up being thrown onto nearby rooftops by the mime golem’s hands.

“You didn’t kill them, right?”

[I threw them all without causing injury.]

“Nice.”

We maintained our leisurely pace as we left the city.

*

“…What did you say?”

“…We received reports that he was spotted about a week’s ride from here, but he escaped after overpowering the entire city guard.”

“A week’s ride? A WEEK’S RIDE?! If he had been traveling by carriage, shouldn’t he have arrived much later than the wanted posters?! How could you lose him without proper preparation?! You must have been told you were dealing with a mountain keeper!!”

“…I’ll question the city guard about it.”

“Eeeng!! Tsk tsk!! To think that people receiving salaries would handle their duties so poorly!!”

At the pig-like Baron Denpura’s outburst, the surrounding guard escorts all frowned.

Fortunately, they were all wearing helmets, so it wasn’t noticeable, but he continued to loudly criticize the city guard as if wanting everyone to hear.

However, the guards here know the truth, and they’re certain that his behavior is completely hypocritical.

So no one actually blames the city guard.

As the pig was about to relieve his stress through another bout of gluttony.

“B-Baron!! Urgent report!!”

“Huh?!! What now?! Did you lose him again…?”

“N-no, that’s not it!! Two villages adjacent to the Ponia Mountains have been destroyed by goblin hordes!!”

“…What?”

The collapse had already begun with the absence of the mountain keeper.