Ch.78Long Days, Long Nights (3)

# Protecting something carries more burden than one might think.

Peace, daily life, loved ones. If everyone could protect such things, wouldn’t there be no fights in the world?

I trained myself to protect, I worked hard, and sometimes I collapsed from exhaustion in the process.

Yet despite all that, what I failed to protect was my past.

What did I think when my hands were completely ruined?

In front of the shattered piano, my hands were stained red with blood, wooden splinters embedded everywhere, exposing white bone.

My long fingers, always praised for their beauty, were grotesquely twisted,

and I vividly remember how my parents shouted at me when they saw them.

Perhaps to them, my hands were more precious than I was.

Now it’s all irrelevant memories. Memories I don’t particularly miss,

memories I’ve brushed away from a corner of my heart where lingering attachments once resided.

…My younger sibling was mature beyond their years.

Always preparing for competitions, they managed everything on their own even when I couldn’t take care of them properly, and never complained to me.

Never asked for pocket money, never blamed our parents for neglecting them.

Even when compared to their older brother, even when suffering from illness alone, they never said a word out of concern for me.

How foolish.

I didn’t want to regret anymore. Who would want to lose someone precious and beloved twice?

I won’t repeat it. Not like back then. I closed my eyes.

Somehow my eyes were wet, so I quietly wiped them and looked up at the sky again.

My shoulders felt heavy. What Count Kasim told me—that Duke Roman was a Master—must be true.

Lord Theorad couldn’t face him. That meant only I could be the one to confront him.

The difference between Master and Expert wasn’t simply one level.

Many knights spent their entire lives struggling at Expert level before dying. Master was the pinnacle of swordsmanship, recognized as such.

I had no intention of losing. I quietly exhaled. If I died, Irene would also be in danger.

My lips twisted at the fleeting memory of the past, but soon I smiled bitterly and moved on.

There was still some time left before I would properly fight Roman.

So, for now, I should smile.

#

Tonight, there was a full moon in the sky. The moonlight was so bright that stars were barely visible.

As I walked slowly by that light, I saw a figure in the distance and smiled faintly.

Just seeing her improved my mood, completely dispelling my slightly melancholic feelings as I opened my mouth.

“Were you waiting here?”

“It took longer than I expected. Did your conversation go well?”

“Well, I suppose so.”

I felt there was no need to worry her unnecessarily.

I just needed to inform Lord Theorad and the Crown Prince about Duke Roman being a Master.

As I shrugged my shoulders saying that, Irene stared at me intently and narrowed her eyes before speaking.

“…Have you been crying?”

I didn’t know she was this perceptive. I widened my eyes as if nothing was wrong.

Waving my hands dismissively, I stepped back slightly and tilted my head.

I was sure I had wiped my tears well. I should deny it, but somehow no sound came from my opening mouth.

My throat felt blocked, so all I could do was step back and force a smile.

“Wait a moment.”

“…I wasn’t crying.”

She grabbed my wrist. I tried to pull away, but surprisingly strong, Irene held onto my wrist and backed me against the wall.

In truth, I didn’t want to let go of her hand. I had a strange feeling that if I let go now, I wouldn’t be able to hold it again.

With my wrist in her grip, I looked at Irene.

Those blue eyes gazed at me, and her red lips parted as if about to say something.

“You were crying.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Don’t lie. Do you think I can’t tell?”

Feeling like a child caught doing something wrong by their mother, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Covering my mouth while chuckling for a while, Irene, who was still staring at me, gently caressed my cheek.

“There’s moisture right here.”

“My lady.”

I slowly removed Irene’s hand. Forcing the corners of my mouth upward, I spoke quietly in a gentle voice.

I didn’t want her to know I felt like crying, but I also truly wanted to sort out my complicated feelings.

“Would you like to… take a walk?”

Not wanting to say more, I closed my mouth after those words, and eventually Irene slowly nodded.

The imperial capital’s streets were bright even at night. However, there were few people around,

so we walked slowly down the streets illuminated by lights made from magic stones.

Somehow we naturally held hands, and whenever our eyes met, I turned my head away from the awkwardness.

I didn’t want her to know I had been crying, but she was surprisingly perceptive about such things.

Yet ironically, it took her so long to notice someone’s feelings.

Neither of us spoke, and Irene didn’t offer any words of comfort.

Nevertheless, it was strange how my heart felt at ease. We walked for a long time down the empty streets.

Is this the first time we’ve walked without talking? We always walked while chatting about various things,

and now I felt a bit sorry toward Irene.

Someone who went to talk with another person returning in tears—it was definitely a situation that could lead to misunderstandings.

Yet I was grateful that Irene didn’t question me further, so I gently swung our joined hands.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“I wonder.”

My heart was still complicated, that was true. What if I lost to Roman?

What about Irene? Would she face the same ending as in the novel? It was a battle I absolutely had to win,

but the probability of winning wasn’t as high as my determination.

But since I couldn’t say that, I smiled faintly and spoke quietly.

“By the way, how do you plan to use the mirror? If you’re thinking of going directly to the Roman estate, I must absolutely forbid it.”

“I don’t plan to go there directly. I’ll either use it in a crowded place, or secretly send someone to reflect it. Though the chances of success are low if I send someone secretly.”

Indeed, if caught trying to use an artifact secretly, things could get complicated.

If it were to be used, it would be better to use it directly. But how?

Various thoughts came to mind, but it seemed most natural to use it in a crowded place.

A hand mirror was an accessory that anyone might carry, so using it in a crowded place wouldn’t raise suspicion.

Irene seemed to think the same, as she stroked her chin for a moment before raising one finger.

Finding that cute, I smiled, which made her flustered as she looked at me and began to stammer.

“W-why are you suddenly smiling?”

“Because you look cute.”

Her raised finger wobbled precariously. After staring at me for a while,

she suddenly exclaimed while looking at her finger. Something seemed to have occurred to her, as she widened her eyes and tapped my arm.

“Evan, isn’t the Crown Prince’s birthday coming up soon?”

“Yes, it’s now May after all.”

“Let’s attend. The Roman family will surely be there too.”

“Attending would be fine, but would that be possible?”

Though Irene and I had attended balls together before, we couldn’t go together too often.

As unpleasant as it was, the fact remained that she had a fiancé.

But there was nothing I could do about it right now. Even though she had never worn a ring,

and the engagement was merely verbal without a proper ceremony.

For now, I couldn’t ignore Adel Roman.

I also needed to avoid appearing too close to her publicly.

Especially at such gatherings where noble ladies who loved gossip congregated.

Particularly at an event hosted by the Crown Prince himself where most nobles would attend—it would be difficult to avoid strange rumors if we attended as partners again.

But Irene shook her head with a faint smile. Perhaps attending together wasn’t what she meant.

As I quietly looked at her, she met my eyes and spoke.

“There’s something you’re good at. A talent that suits a celebratory occasion.”

“…Do you mean the piano?”

There was no problem with playing itself. I played occasionally anyway,

and had performed a few times while teaching Irene.

What was surprising was that she allowed me to perform at a birthday celebration.

Usually, she told me not to play in front of others, so why had her attitude changed?

Looking at Irene with a questioning gaze, she slowly continued.

“Is there a problem?”

“No, just… is it really alright for me to perform there?”

If that was really the case, I might feel a little disappointed.

I had been happy about Irene’s small displays of jealousy, but had she now grown accustomed to it?

Seeing my shoulders droop involuntarily, Irene’s face filled with confusion.

“…I don’t understand why you’re reacting that way.”

“What reaction did I show?”

Just, a little. Actually, very disappointed. My lips might have protruded slightly.

I might let go of her hand. Perhaps I might walk far away from her after releasing her hand.

“Did you think I would send you alone? I said let’s attend together.”

“Together?”

“I may not play the piano as well as you… but I can accompany you.”

Accompaniment—hearing that word, my eyes widened. Irene playing with me?

Accompaniment, not a bad idea. Although Irene wasn’t exceptionally skilled at piano,

she was surprisingly good with the violin. Piano and violin concertos were quite common, and if I played at her level…

It could make a nice picture.

“Hmm.”

“Did you just get sulky?”

“Of course not. I just… had heavy shoulders for a moment.”

Irene stared at me for a while, then chuckled before poking my cheek and smiling brightly.

“You’re cute.”

Cute—such words didn’t suit me well. But it was true that I felt embarrassed,

so I held Irene’s hand tightly while brushing my flushed face with my free hand.

My mood was fluctuating. It could be due to my complicated feelings, but what was certain was that Irene was the cause.

As I told Count Kasim, I was Irene’s knight.

I had a duty to protect her, but at the same time, I had a goal to deal with the dark mage.

The fact that I couldn’t do both simultaneously was probably why my heart felt so complicated.

Therefore, I quietly made a resolution in my heart. I would definitely win,

because I didn’t want to see Irene cry again. This time, I would return to her unharmed.

Thinking that made my heart feel a little lighter.

Only then could I finally breathe easily, so I intertwined my fingers with Irene’s and murmured quietly.

There was no need to continue thoughts that complicated my mind, so it was better to finish our conversation.

“Have you thought about what piece we’ll play?”

“I liked what you played at Siren before. The second piece you played was really nice. The first one might not be… suitable for celebrating someone.”

If it was the second piece I played at Siren, I recalled what it was and stared at Irene.

It wasn’t exactly a piece suitable for celebration. That piece was… a serenade.

The one I played to convey my feelings to Irene. Since I’d rather only play it for her, I firmly shook my head and spoke.

“That won’t work.”

“Didn’t you say it could be played on violin too? We even played it together.”

“It would be better to choose another piece. It’s not a piece for celebrating someone.”

“You played it on my birthday, so if it’s not for celebration, what is it for?”

Hmm. I couldn’t answer that question honestly. It was my selfishness.

I wanted to play it only for Irene, which is why I deliberately played that piece only when Rophena wasn’t around.

It seemed better to find and practice a new piece.

There was still some time left until the Crown Prince’s birthday.

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“A knight should be taciturn.”

Displeased, Irene frowned and stopped in her place.

Glaring at me, she tilted her head slightly before grabbing my nape and standing on her tiptoes.

Suddenly, her warm breath touched me. Though we had been close like this often recently, that didn’t mean I was used to it.

Looking at her with a slightly disgruntled expression, Irene finally moved her lips.

“Still not going to tell me?”

“…No, I won’t.”

At the closer distance, where our noses almost touched, Irene didn’t blush at all.

Had she grown accustomed to this? Considering what she did to me last time too.

I felt the need to establish some discipline. Establishing dominance in such a relationship was quite important.

I saw Irene standing on her tiptoes, holding my nape.

Grabbing her slender wrist, I quietly opened my mouth.

“Irene.”

“…Yes?”

Perhaps surprised at hearing her name, Irene looked at me with slight shock.

Calling her by name when we were alone—it should be fine to start doing that now.

“Don’t you think you’ve become too bold lately?”

*Tap*

As my lips lightly touched her forehead and pulled away, Irene stared at me blankly, her lips quivering.

To prevent her from moving away further, to keep her posture from collapsing, I pulled her waist.

Starting from her forehead, my lips gradually moved down to her cheek. Once, and then once on the other side.

“E-Evan. Wait a moment.”

Irene, whose face had finally turned red, urgently spoke, but I had no intention of listening to her words.

While gently caressing her cheek where my lips had touched, I stole a light kiss on her lips.

It was just a peck, but it lasted a bit longer than the second time when we had merely brushed past each other.

“Is it still easy?”

“……Hmm.”

Finally able to pull away from me, Irene hastily created distance between us and took a deep breath.

Unable to answer my question, she clutched her chest,

her ears turning completely red, which was impressive.

“Haah.”

I quietly sighed. For a while, I would probably be busy practicing the piece to perform with Irene.

During that time, it would be better to focus on that task, erasing all distracting thoughts.

…I just hoped everything would go well.

The performance, and the matters related to Roman.

Fingering what Count Kasim had given me in my pocket, I slowly thought about the days ahead.