Ch.78Chapter 78

Ourr’s enjoyment of the festival was adorable.

She would pout when things didn’t go her way, but her bright smile when something exceeded her expectations was refreshing.

Her gloomy expression was gradually lifting. I knew this was something I couldn’t accomplish as both her guardian and professor. I recognized it was only possible because she had made friends.

What if she only depended on me because I was her guardian, because she needed me to guarantee her safety in this society? Would my feelings for Ourr diminish if that were the case?

I couldn’t say for certain.

Still, I believed I had given her love. I thought I had tried my best.

Since these were all subjective thoughts, objectively speaking, my efforts might have been lacking. Having lost everything while being loved, my sense of loss was profound, but I rarely experienced the fulfillment of receiving something.

Even now, I crave. Whether it’s knowledge, people, or Ourr the Demon God. Like a thirst that remains no matter how much I drink, I kept wanting to keep them by my side.

Whether it was inevitable or obsession, I couldn’t help these feelings.

My emotions were complicated.

While fearing something hidden within me, seeing Ourr now made me wonder if my emotional investment had been worthwhile.

I tried to be good to her and made efforts, but how would Ourr think of me? I wasn’t sure if her thinking had regressed along with her body, but I worried about how she would view me when she grew up and could think like an adult again.

I just hoped to remain a good person in her eyes.

In truth, I knew. Even as I smiled watching Ourr enjoy the festival for two days, I was the worst person for Ourr because I was trying to prevent her from growing up.

With a bitter expression, I skimmed through the documents. Leaving Ourr giggling about how fun today was, I pulled out my thesis. We’re already halfway through the year, but my thesis hasn’t progressed.

We live in an era where people know what kills them in excess and what kills them in deficiency. The euthanasia machine could be considered a result of that knowledge.

But Demon Gods were different.

Killing a Demon God mostly involved physical methods. You couldn’t administer drugs or put them in machines to lower oxygen levels.

Not knowing what works and what doesn’t, I needed a Demon God for experiments, and I hated myself for unconsciously looking at Ourr whenever I thought about it.

“…”

I sighed.

Of course, inevitably, someday I would have to ask Ourr to die just once, but I bit my lip wondering if it was right to ask for her help even when creating such a machine.

Even though I had become a professor, it was only half-complete. I looked back at my past actions, obsessed with revenge and charging forward blindly.

Still, for nearly a year, I had locked myself in the lab researching to prove Ourr wasn’t dangerous. And for the past few months, I had grown attached to her while living a normal life together.

I was starting to lose track of myself—fearing one aspect of her while embracing another with affection.

What was certain was that I didn’t want Ourr to leave me, at least not after all the heart, time, and money I had invested in her.

If she were judged safe despite being a Demon God and gained freedom, I would be satisfied if she said she liked me and wanted to stay by my side.

I wasn’t sure. Why had I become like this?

I had climbed this far grinding my teeth with determination to kill Demon Gods, but now I couldn’t understand why I was giving my heart to one.

Either I had suffered a severe head injury, or perhaps human hearts simply couldn’t remain constant. I wished someone would tell me if this change of heart was natural.

Yuria. Don’t forget your duty.

Giving affection to a Demon God is only acceptable when it’s proven they pose no harm to humans.

**

When Yuria first entered the Academy, her eyes were filled with vengeance.

Rosemila didn’t know what had happened before Yuria finished regular high school, but Yuria clearly had a definite goal back then. Though that goal was the common one of exterminating all Demon Gods, Rosemila was still able to become friends with her.

While the overall atmosphere was sharp, it didn’t mean it was hostile.

The sharp nerves were directed at Demon Gods, not people, so normal communication was possible.

From the Academy to graduate school, through four years of graduate studies, Yuria obtained her doctoral degree first and became a professor. Although Rosemila’s professorship was delayed by a year because she had fallen behind, they remained good friends.

Since both were researching Demon Gods and magic formulation, they were able to help each other.

Even after becoming professors, they continued their research under their advisor’s guidance, and that’s when Yuria changed.

As always, Yuria combined her research with Demon God subjugation. That day too, orders came in, and she postponed her lecture to go hunt a Demon God.

Something about a Demon God coming down from the mountains and going back.

She regretted postponing the lecture, thinking the Demon God wouldn’t cause much harm. But fortunately, she hadn’t announced the lecture would resume, because Yuria returned much later than she had said she would.

Yuria was covered in blood from head to toe. She just dropped her things, saying she needed to wash up immediately, and went home.

Rosemila didn’t know what had happened then, but as time passed, she noticed Yuria’s sunken eyes and realized what was going on.

While juggling her professorship, research, and Demon God subjugation, she was simultaneously researching another Demon God and trying to convince the higher-ups that it was safe.

Rosemila wondered why she did that.

But not anymore. Yuria had told her before, so she knew well.

Yuria had intended to kill that Demon God but couldn’t. She feared something hidden inside it, and at the same time, seemed to have developed compassion for one of its personalities during the killing process.

Rosemila worried.

In fact, she suspected it wasn’t compassion at all, but rather Yuria compromising with herself because the Demon God wouldn’t die.

That Demon God apparently couldn’t die. Since Yuria said she felt a fear she had never experienced before with that Demon God, Rosemila thought Yuria would want to kill it more than anyone.

But now, Yuria had given up on killing the Demon God, claiming it wasn’t harmful to society. After research and tests, she even brought it out into society, making it attend the Academy, trying somehow to socialize it.

Rosemila was curious. She wanted to see for herself.

What had the strong Yuria seen that frightened her so much? And why, instead of trying to overcome her fear or eliminate its source, was she covering it up by introducing another personality to society?

So after sitting in her research lab pondering for a long time, Rosemila pushed her chair back and stood up.

“I should go see it once.”

After much deliberation, Rosemila told herself the answer she had decided on and moved her feet.

Friday afternoon after the festival. Yuria had said she was going out with the Demon God and its friends, so Rosemila waited at the entrance just as they were about to finish.

Since she had sent a message in advance, they were able to meet quickly even on the vast Academy grounds.

“Rose, what brings you here? You seemed uninterested in the festival.”

“Well… it just happened?”

Rosemila smiled slyly.

She wasn’t interested in the festival. She was only interested in the Demon God beside Yuria. When she had listened to Yuria’s complaints before, she had just thought of it as listening to a friend’s grumbling, but now she found it quite interesting.

For something Yuria had described as so frightening, it just looked like an ordinary girl.

Dark navy hair, and between the strands, golden eyes that turned toward Rosemila.

“Hello.”

As the Demon God bowed her head politely, Rosemila felt slightly amazed. Despite all the talk about socialization training, she hadn’t expected to see a Demon God greeting so courteously, which drew her attention.

“Hello.”

The Demon God bowed her head once more and then quietly stood beside Yuria as if that was her place. Holding hands and blankly looking around, she seemed to be checking if there was something interesting nearby.

She must have had fun since she was playing with friends until just now.

“Yuri, I just came because I was curious. Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, Ourr wanted to do this and that, so I followed her around, and it was pretty good.”

“How’s your research going?”

“…Well, I can slack off for a day or so.”

Yuria brushed it off with a bitter smile.

Because of the Demon God, she had added another research topic, and yet she was also skipping research for a day because of the Demon God. Rosemila felt that Yuria had changed a lot.

It wasn’t necessarily bad, but she was curious how Yuria had changed like this. What was it about this Demon God?

“What was the name again, Ourr?”

“Yes, I’m Ourr.”

“That’s right.”

When Rosemila asked, pointing at the Demon God, Ourr nodded. Yuria also confirmed, so Rosemila could remember it clearly.

“Ourr, what do you want to do?”

When Rosemila carefully asked Ourr, she tilted her head but didn’t seem to need much time to think before answering.

“I want to grow up.”

Not understanding what kind of wish that was, Rosemila tilted her head and looked back and forth between Ourr and Yuria.