Ch.78Blood-Soaked City. Fernheim (5)

It happened when I was four years old.

I was too young then to do proper work, so I became a recipient of the city government’s regular relief program, living and eating at a workplace on the outskirts.

I was able to eat and sleep at the house of a good-natured old man who ran an orchard. Despite difficult circumstances, he took care of me, making sure I wasn’t starved and was treated like a human being.

With my tiny hands, I would climb ladders to pick fruit or pull weeds—doing everything I could to help the old man. He treated me like a late-born grandchild, often patting my head affectionately.

Then one day, I saw a dirty child in the orchard.

A small girl, younger than I was at the time—she looked only two or three years old.

Her body was covered in mud and straw, surrounded by a stench I still remember to this day, and she was nibbling on fruits from a box with teeth that hadn’t fully grown in yet.

There was no life in her eyes, and her body had no clothes to speak of. Her skin was not just gaunt but grotesquely thin, revealing the outlines of her organs and bones—it would have been normal for her to collapse and die at any moment.

And just as I reached out my hand toward her, the old man cursed and struck her body with the broom he was holding, killing her instantly.

The reason the old man killed that child wasn’t because she had stolen the fruit he had picked.

It was simply because some filthy kid had crawled in from who knows where, and her presence irritated him.

Though I had been killing people since I was three, I could tell this was an absurdly trivial reason to kill a mere toddler.

He was kind to me, but not to her.

That night, I left that house and never returned.

Lying down to sleep on the all-too-familiar and equally cold city streets, I turned my small brain over and wondered:

‘Why?’

Why did she die while I lived?

She hadn’t killed anyone, while I had.

I couldn’t reach a conclusion.

It took a very long time to realize that while human lives are given equally, they aren’t given fairly. The memory of that day must surely be embedded deep within me as a bruise.

The relative truth—that I too might have been just a fruit-stealing little girl to someone—was terrifying to me back then.

And after that fear passed, anger followed.

How could someone be so two-faced!

The thugs who beat me up while laughing would go home and be dutiful sons changing the wet towel on their sick mother’s forehead. The employer who withheld my wages while acting high and mighty would bow and scrape like a servant before those with more money than himself.

Human character is that shallow, that easily flipped.

And I couldn’t understand it.

What on earth is this thing called family that makes people willing to kill others to save their family? What is this thing called friendship that makes people willing to sacrifice their own lives to protect it? What is this thing called love that makes people cling to it while throwing away money and time?

I simply couldn’t understand.

Every time my ears heard dismissive words about me, every time my eyes caught sight of mockery, I took up my knife and carved them out.

I flayed their flesh, crushed their bones, gouged out their eyes, tore apart their organs, and stirred their brains to show them my anger and hatred.

But no matter how many I killed, no matter how painfully I stripped their bones and flesh, why wouldn’t this emptiness be filled?

To shake off this feeling—like a lonely mountain hunter dying of protein addiction—I worked 240 hours a week.

Because if I had no time to think, I couldn’t think about the emptiness in my heart. I endured, dreaming of the day I would set off on an adventure.

And this is the result.

Only the third landmark.

Having visited just 3 out of 52 landmarks, the self I had tried so hard to build crumbled completely before an old man’s wisdom.

It’s absurd.

I had sworn my entire life not to become someone whose outside and inside were different…

In the end, I’m no different from them.

*

I looked at the clock.

2:50 AM.

At this ambiguous time, just before 3 o’clock, I suddenly woke up.

“Mmm…”

I kneaded Laisha’s plump thighs as she slept in my arms, and she began to breathe softly again, falling back asleep.

The warm, tepid breath from her nose touched my chest, creating a moist humidity.

Love, huh.

Am I really in love with her?

Conversely, is she really in love with me?

To be honest, I’m not sure.

From the beginning, she confessed to me because she truly trusted me as a person, not because of some ecstatic feeling that “it has to be this man!”

“…Well, does it matter?”

Her appearance might be judged differently by different people, so all I can say is that she “looks feminine,” but I can proudly say that her figure is exceptional.

With breasts wider than the sea and hips more majestic than mountain ranges, all mine—surely they can handle at least my sexual desires quite nicely.

I tousled Laisha’s hair and then fell back asleep.

*

Nine o’clock in the morning.

Fully prepared, we ate a light breakfast and adjusted our armor and weapons, ready for the four fierce battles ahead.

“Have you sorted out your feelings?” Simon asked.

I smiled faintly and replied, “Somewhat.”

“That’s good enough.”

Laisha silently nuzzled her face against mine, and after stroking her face, I mounted my horse.

Given the Colosseum’s format where one tournament ends in a day, we need to fight four consecutive group battles.

Since this is a place blessed by Karil, our physical fatigue will recover after each battle, but mental fatigue won’t, so we need to keep that in mind.

“Obviously, put all potions in storage. You can’t use them inside,” Simon began giving his final advice about the rules.

“Each match has a one-hour time limit. If you don’t incapacitate the entire enemy team within that time, both teams are disqualified.”

“What’s the definition of incapacitation?”

“Being unable to wield a weapon or cast a spell anymore.”

“Then there’s no need for mercy.”

I recalled the plan we had discussed with Simon and Laisha yesterday, and then entered the Colosseum.

After leaving our horses, we were guided by staff to a waiting room where a large board with the rules was mounted on the wall.

Other teams were also waiting in the room, and coincidentally, the party we were facing first included Raiden Baxter, whom I had sliced to death previously.

“You… you!” He pointed at me in shock, and his party seemed somewhat flustered.

“Good. We can start by taking out one of them right away.”

“What! You’re ignoring me?!”

“Why should I pay attention to a weakling who couldn’t even touch the hem of my coat?”

Hearing my words, Raiden’s face reddened as he ground his teeth.

He ground them so hard that I could hear the sound, and his party members looked between us nervously, not knowing what to do.

The world is truly small.

To think I’d get to kill someone I’ve already killed before.

“This must surely be Karil’s blessing. He has granted us this fortune to give us the steed of victory.”

“Don’t talk as if I’m going to lose!”

“The victor receives favor and the loser is granted revenge. How loving Karil is! I have no doubt our party will win.”

“Argh! Let go! I’ll kill you!!!”

As I teased him while he ranted and raved, an announcement came from the speakers on the ceiling.

“The match will begin in 10 minutes. All parties please move to your designated positions.”

I stopped teasing him, and Raiden moved toward the arena with a look that said he would kill me somehow.

Soon we were in the same arena, drawing our weapons and pointing them at each other, while a referee-cum-announcer standing above encouraged cheers from the crowd.

“The match will begin shortly! A feast of blood with six participants! A festival for Karil!”

“Blood for the Blood God!” the crowd shouted enthusiastically.

Then a whistle sounded from above.

Pheeeeet!

“Match begin!”

With those words, I dashed forward like lightning with my sword drawn.