Ch.77Honest Conversation (4)

I was startled by Tesser’s unfamiliar demeanor.

The Tesser I had known was an introverted and diligent child, so his angry behavior toward me created a sense of dissonance. Perhaps that’s why I only responded to Tesser’s cynical remarks after a long silence had enveloped us.

“I… made you miserable?”

“As expected, I knew you wouldn’t have the slightest idea.”

Tesser slowly nodded his head as if he had anticipated this. And unfortunately, his gesture wasn’t wrong in any way.

‘…I didn’t expect him to rebel this much.’

It’s obvious that Tesser is full of ambition for the throne. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have displayed such unrealistic diligence from childhood when he’s not even a reincarnator. Therefore, I’ve always viewed my competition with Tesser as a struggle for the throne.

I find it puzzling why Tesser would take my declaration of withdrawal from the succession race as an insult. Shouldn’t he be greatly moved that his long-cherished wish has been fulfilled? I sincerely believed Tesser would be happy.

‘Does he not want an empty victory…?’

For a moment I thought that might be it, but I quickly shook my head. Only those who are already full complain about victory. But Tesser was definitely not an arrogant child who would throw away an easy win.

This is difficult.

It’s especially difficult with Rahilt and Eshtiel staring at us intently. Surely Rahilt and Eshtiel have never had a serious argument before. They were both good brothers, a good older brother and a good younger brother.

So I felt terribly embarrassed now that they had caught me being a not-so-good older sister. Struggling with that shame, I found it difficult to form proper sentences.

“I… didn’t particularly intend to make you miserable.”

“Yes, I’m sure you didn’t. But I feel increasingly insignificant every time I see my sister who lacks self-awareness.”

Facing Tesser who was striking back sharply, I moved my lips slightly. Though I hadn’t paid much attention to him, Tesser, whom I’d seen for a long time as my brother, was wearing a face that seemed too unfamiliar.

“Tesser…”

I just murmured my brother’s name once for no particular reason.

It was merely a momentary stalling tactic.

Suppressing my embarrassment, I made a request to the other pair of siblings who had suddenly been caught up in our family quarrel.

“Lian. Would it be alright if I spoke with Tesser alone for a moment?”

“…Yes, I’ll wait outside the library.”

“Tesser bro— Oof!”

Rahilt immediately picked up Eshtiel, who was trying to intervene, and left the area. Now only the slow-witted older sister and the younger brother with puzzling inner thoughts remained.

“…Let’s continue our conversation.”

“…”

First, I invited Tesser to sit down. After he took a seat, I turned my chair to face him directly and slowly leaned back.

Tesser was cautiously observing how I would respond. In his eyes swirled complex emotions, mixed and blended until they became difficult to read.

“First, let me admit something. I was rambling earlier and can’t remember everything I said. There might have been something that hurt your feelings.”

“I see.”

“If there was something that upset you, I apologize. But I sincerely want you to become Emperor. That’s the truth.”

“…Ha.”

In response to my honest confession, Tesser let out a hollow sigh. By this point, I was at a loss, unable to guess what had offended Tesser.

The wall between estranged siblings was quite thick and high.

From beyond that wall, Tesser spoke.

“As I expected, you really don’t know anything, sister.”

“Tesser.”

“I don’t intend to quiz you on my concerns at this point. I just want to ask one thing.”

Tesser’s hand, still in the midst of growth, clutched at his chest. As if he were trying to tear out the emotions knotted in his heart and throw them at me.

Trembling, Tesser asked.

“Have you ever, even once, considered me as a person? Have you ever seen me as someone properly alive? Do you even recognize me as your brother?”

“…”

“I… resent you, sister. And I hate myself for harboring such feelings over trivial matters.”

My chest had been stinging since Tesser’s first question. Because this child, whom I thought knew nothing, was poking at the truth I had been deliberately ignoring.

That piercing rebuke—asking if I had ever considered him a person—stimulated the guilt that had been unconsciously building up.

‘I never thought Tesser would say such things…’

Tesser’s question… is valid.

This is a world inside a novel, which cannot be denied.

And my male protagonist was Rahilt, and the person I could consider my kin was sister Narin. Strictly speaking, these two were the only characters I had treated as real people with personalities from our first meeting.

Of course, I haven’t consistently perceived things that way.

Every time I saw Rahilt acting completely differently from the original work, I reconfirmed that this world was real.

That way, I could acknowledge that even unnamed strangers were not extras but proper individuals with personalities.

The problem is that this realization came quite late.

Tesser, born as the second son of the previous male and female protagonists. In the past, I couldn’t recognize a child with such a background as a “person” instead of a “character.”

All this time, Tesser had vaguely sensed it. These inner feelings he couldn’t tell anyone…

“Sister. I have emotions too.”

“…Yes.”

“It festers inside me whenever I’m not even considered a person by you.”

“…Yes.”

“Even if it’s just barely better than a stranger, you’re still unavoidably family.”

“That’s… right.”

“I am not… a spare who conveniently takes on the things you find bothersome.”

After saying that much, Tesser quieted down as if entering a lull.

It was unclear whether he was organizing more things he wanted to say, or if this was a signal that he had nothing more to say.

So it seemed like it was my turn to speak now.

Now was the time to get to know my brother who had not been respected for many years.

“I acknowledge your feelings… and my mistakes, completely.”

“…!”

I shouldn’t add any excuses.

The fact that I was preoccupied with the child of the deposed emperor and the original storyline cannot be a reason for understanding and empathy.

Looking back honestly, it was my negligence and arrogance. I presumed that as the son of the previous male and female protagonists, he would live just fine without my attention.

“I… thought you desperately wanted the Emperor’s position. Because you’ve been immersed in imperial studies since you were even younger. To the extent that you neglected making friends your age.”

I sometimes felt anxious watching Tesser rise so fiercely. It’s only natural, as Tesser showed remarkable determination and focus despite not being on his second life.

So I naturally thought he was striving for the throne.

“But… I think I was wrong.”

Admitting I was wrong doesn’t make my clumsiness suddenly skillful. So I decided to get to know Tesser properly, even if awkwardly.

“I don’t know you. As you said, I’m a sister who perfectly fits the description of being no better than a stranger.”

“…Ugh.”

“I’m not trying to reproach you. It’s just the truth. So, I just… want to know what you’re thinking.”

It can still be turned around.

Tesser had just turned fifteen. We haven’t missed the golden time to restore our relationship.

He’s a brother who managed to stay well-behaved during a time when emotions tend to control the body. Those suppressed emotions must have erupted painfully to reach this point.

As much as it’s a timing prone to going astray, it should also be easy to correct the deviation.

“I’d like you to honestly tell me what made you angry, what you want… As you said, I’m a poor sister who can’t figure it out on my own.”

Only after letting out a small laugh did I finally notice the missing procedure.

“…No, before making such a request, something else should have come first. I carelessly forgot.”

“What…?”

Tesser responded with confusion. To such an innocent younger brother, I slowly bowed my head, which had been stiffly upright, like ripening rice stalks.

“I’m sorry, Tesser. For hurting you unintentionally.”

“Sis, sister…?”

Tesser was so taken aback that he unconsciously leaned back. He seemed to find my sincere apology unexpectedly difficult to handle. It was very like Tesser.

Offering such a direct, unfiltered apology seemed to embarrass him instead. It was clear from his face, which had turned bright red.

“I don’t expect all the complaints built up over time to be resolved at once. Still… I will definitely try, so I’d like you to tell me about yourself from time to time, Tesser.”

“I…”

Tesser opened and closed his mouth.

He seemed to be struggling with the sudden… renewed self-introduction.

Well, even I would be flustered. Even preparing a self-introduction that lasts more than a minute requires time to prepare.

But that was only for skilled interviewees who excluded awkwardness.

Tesser, who was simply pouring out his emotions honestly, stutteringly revealed the secrets he had kept hidden inside.

“I didn’t particularly desire the Emperor’s position either. I just… competed because I was told I should.”

“That’s… unexpected.”

“Above all, when I did well, both of them were happy.”

“Mother and Father, you mean.”

“…Yes.”

Tesser seemed quite embarrassed that at 15 years old, he still drew motivation from his parents’ happiness. In reality, it’s a very natural phenomenon. No matter how old one gets, everyone wants to live up to their parents’ expectations.

“…… But that didn’t last long. Because you inherited the strongest physique in the world, and quickly absorbed whatever you learned. I realized long ago that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t receive the same expectations as you.”

“Tesser, that’s… …… No. Nothing.”

Setting aside the body I inherited, when it comes to learning, it would naturally be difficult to beat me, who is on my second life.

My brother, who must have been disappointed by this, can only be described as truly unfortunate.

“I wanted to be like you, sister. But knowing better than anyone that I couldn’t, I at least wanted recognition. Even if it meant reducing sleep and forgoing rest.”

“…I see.”

“That’s just all there was to it. Because I’m a person with nothing special… desperately trying to keep up somehow… that’s all… haa.”

Tesser exhaled roughly, then stood up abruptly with the sound of his chair scraping.

“I… don’t know what I’m saying. I’ll get up now. I’m sorry for shouting. Please consider it a mistake and forget about it.”

“Wait…!”

Despite my protest, Tesser walked briskly toward the library entrance with quick strides.

Just when there seemed to be signs of the siblings’ relationship progressing slightly, I had a feeling I shouldn’t let him leave like this. It seemed like we needed more sincere conversation to untangle the knot.

Yet the distance wasn’t easily narrowed. It would be simple to catch up with Tesser’s footsteps right away.

Perhaps, unconsciously, I knew I lacked the qualification.

“Ah…!”

Just as Tesser approached the entrance.

Bang!

Suddenly, the door that Tesser hadn’t even touched opened, and a snow-white figure burst through like an arrow.

The figure, who had entered like a wild animal, spotted Tesser in an instant, rushed toward him, and burst into tears with a loud volume.

“Waaaaaah! Tesser brother, Serin sister, don’t fight…!!!”

The identity of the mysteriously appearing child was Eshtiel.

Eshtiel, who had suddenly appeared, firmly grabbed Tesser’s waist and stood firmly as if blocking his path.

Behind Eshtiel was Rahilt, who seemed to have tasted something bitter, sending signals of apology.

I froze in a strange situation where I could neither laugh nor cry.

“Hic… huu… Tesser brother likes sister so why say mean thiiiiings!”

“Wha, what…?!”

“Waaaaaah! Don’t fight… don’t say mean things…! If you do, you’re just like stupid Shturn…!!!”

“E, Eshtiel. Um, well…!”

Tesser raised both hands in an awkward posture, unable to do anything. Then he looked back and forth between Rahilt and me as if asking for help. Naturally, none of us had any immediate means to stop Eshtiel.

“…Hmm.”

The library that should be filled with only silence.

The quiet place was filled with the sorrowful crying of a small girl.

In this situation where everyone feared how much longer Eshtiel’s candy confiscation period would be extended, only the librarian controlling the entrance was having a headache.