Ch.77 – Childish World

“Can you get up?”

“…”

I had just woken up. White hospital room, curtains, a nurse in white.

The world outside my repetitive daily life was too much for me to fully accept.

I think we held Seol-ah’s funeral a few days ago, but my memories are all jumbled.

“You might feel dizzy because the medication is still in your system. If you’re okay, want to hold my hand and go?”

I nodded.

Strangely, words wouldn’t come out properly, so I substituted with a nod. In virtual reality, it felt like I could speak just by thinking, but in reality, there seemed to be an extra step? I opened my mouth, but the words I was thinking couldn’t escape my throat.

Hospital. A boring place that forces annoying things on you. Perhaps because I was in a child’s body, boredom was quite a difficult emotion to endure.

I twisted my body and rolled my eyes around, counting patients to alleviate the boredom.

“103cm and 15.8kg… that’s worse than a five-year-old baby.”

The doctor muttered while taking the chart from the nurse.

More boring tests followed.

Covering one eye to match shapes, tightly hugging a large teddy bear.

When they asked me to hold my breath briefly, I wondered if teddy bears now perform chest X-rays? Very child-friendly.

Having tasted the sweetness of deep sleep once, I who used to sleep less than 6 hours now slept 12 hours and still felt drowsy.

While I was nodding off in my chair, someone who appeared to be my guardian was sitting beside me, listening intently to the doctor.

The doctor explained calmly, but the man next to me wore quite a serious expression. Or maybe that was just his normal face. His features were so stern it was hard to tell the difference.

After every examination, the pharmacy was always the last stop. This matched my common sense. The world was so strange that I was often confused about what was common sense and what wasn’t.

“You’ll need to drink this every day from now on.”

The man handed me a drink that closely resembled “Po-X-ri S-X-t.” He even opened the can for me. How kind.

Ah, I recognize this taste.

Not Po-X-ri, of course.

Looking at the nutritional information on the back of the can confirmed my suspicion.

Mana potion, which I used to consume daily as a meal replacement. So they sell it in reality too.

“Does it taste good?”

It wasn’t delicious, but it was tolerable enough. I didn’t comment. The man didn’t seem to mind my lack of response.

“You have nowhere to go now. This is a big problem.”

After I finished the pseudo Po-X-ri, the man took it and threw it in the trash. He didn’t forget to crush it before disposing of it.

I never had anywhere to go, so I wondered what he meant.

“These stubborn bastards, I swear. What do you mean she’s not classified as an official terror victim so there’s no support? Insurance premiums this, eligibility requirements that. They say they can’t even tell if she’s a Korean citizen without a biochip. Damn it, if the mother was Korean, then obviously the daughter is Korean too.”

How did the country end up like this? The man’s complaints went on for quite a while.

His dialect made it difficult to understand at times, but the gist was that all the support funds from Seol-ah had been spent on funeral costs and my hospitalization. Now, staying in the hospital even one more day would result in astronomical bills in my name.

“Sigh, what would you know? You’re just pitiful.”

The National Intelligence Service and the prosecution had completely washed their hands of the situation.

Given my age, I wouldn’t know any information about the terrorism anyway, and above all, it was difficult to identify the perpetrators.

Since Walpurgis had already been officially declared eradicated in Korea, it was awkward to backtrack now. The state probably just saw me as “pitiful girl #1” who lost her mother to a terrorist group.

Even then, not being an official citizen meant I wouldn’t even receive minimum living expenses.

Detective Ma Beom-il seemed to have acted out of professional duty rather than for performance metrics.

Despite his harsh words, his hand holding mine was gentle. With his other hand, he kept looking at my health report as we walked.

“I’d like to take you to my home and introduce you to Ji-hye, but… the law says it can’t be done. I should blame my job.”

Ji-hye must be the name of the man’s daughter? Judging by the name alone, she gives a round impression, contrary to her father.

In the end, I was neither a terror victim nor an official citizen, but closer to an illegal refugee of unknown origin.

After driving over mountains and across rivers, we arrived at a remote orphanage. The facility looked very old, but it had a government mark properly displayed at the entrance, indicating it was a certified institution.

Since the man had called ahead before arriving, a middle-aged woman with graying hair was already waiting to greet us.

“Please take good care of her.”

“Yes, don’t worry.”

“I’ll visit often.”

“In my 25 years working here, I’ve never seen anyone who says that actually keep their promise.”

Quite a cynical personality.

That’s how I said goodbye to Detective Ma Beom-il. It was quite a brief relationship and nothing special happened, but I still think he was a rather kind person.

“Your name is Name? That’s unusual…”

“Na-me.”

The woman glanced at my personal information sheet. I immediately corrected her.

“No Na-me.”

* * *

Eventually, my worn health report passed through many hands before finally landing in mine.

Since I’m not an expert in this field, there were terms I couldn’t understand, but to summarize, I was a walking hospital.

Short stature and underweight were just the basics. My body had gone beyond adapting to mana potions—it had become addicted, unable to survive without them.

Because of this, my internal balance was completely ruined. I had just enough muscle to breathe, so even walking required great mental effort from me. The numbers were quite impressive.

Fortunately, there were no major problems with my intelligence. The drawbacks were mild autistic tendencies and speech impediment. Come to think of it, making eye contact with people was difficult.

Had I ever properly made eye contact until now? The speech problem seemed like it would gradually improve, so I decided not to worry about it too much.

I thought the orphanage lady was more cynical and unfriendly compared to Detective Ma Beom-il, but seeing how she didn’t bat an eye after reviewing my physical condition, she was simply a person without prejudice.

Indeed, such impassive people survive longer in social welfare fields.

[Merlin Orphanage]

This would be my home from now on.

A wooden mansion with a duplex structure that couldn’t be found in the city. Each room was really small, just big enough to fit a bunk bed.

After completing my admission procedures, Ms. Park Young-hee (I learned her name from her badge) immediately guided me to my room.

Room 206.

The room farthest to the side on the second floor.

[Hwangbo Young]

[Baek A-rin]

The lady removed the top nameplate next to the room.

“Young moved to a first-floor room yesterday, so you’ll take her place. A-rin sleeps on the bottom bunk, and you’ll be on top. Everyone’s in the cafeteria now for lunch. You can go eat if you haven’t had lunch yet.”

With those words, Young-hee left abruptly.

I didn’t have any belongings. Even the clothes I was wearing were bought by Mr. Ma Beom-il.

But I wasn’t hungry either.

Time felt suspended. I tried to open one of the potions the man had given me, but it was beyond my strength.

Eventually, I gave up wrestling with the can and went to the full-length mirror next to the door. This seemed to be the first time I was seeing my complete reflection. Come to think of it, there wasn’t a single mirror in the hospital.

Hair that hadn’t been cut for seven years reached down to my waist.

I pushed aside my bangs, which covered half my face due to not having a proper part.

My hair was exceptionally black, perhaps due to its thickness, in stark contrast to my face, which was deathly pale from lack of sunlight.

My eyes, perhaps resembling Seol-ah’s, filled my small face. Actually, they were slightly slanted, giving me a fierce impression.

Having a staring contest with the mirror using my sanbaek-an eyes gave me goosebumps.

My arms and legs were really thin. Not only did I lack muscle, but I also had very little fat. Pale white skin covered the contours of my bones.

“Who… are you…?”

A timid young girl whispered through the crack in the door.

As I stood blankly in front of the mirror, the girl lowered her guard a bit and entered the room.

“Are you perhaps the new person Sister said was coming today… no… ah, yes?”

The “Sister” she mentioned seemed to refer to Young-hee from earlier.

“What’s your name? I’m A-rin. Baek A-rin.”

“No Na-me.”

“Na-me? That’s your name?”

I nodded.

“Na-me, you’re so tiny. It’s the first time someone younger than me has come here, so it’s interesting. I’m seven years old, how about you?”

I tried to say seven, but again it got stuck in my throat.

I had no choice but to show her seven fingers.

“Seven years old? No way!”

How can I be this small?

A-rin couldn’t believe that someone a head shorter than herself was the same age.

“Hey, White Shark! Enjoying having the room to yourself now? Not feeling lonely without me to play with?”

A tall, boyish girl burst through the door. Before A-rin could react, she wrapped her arm around A-rin’s neck.

“Ah, Young unnie…”

“Who’s this? Ah, the new kid coming today? Nice to meet you! I’m Hwangbo Young. And you are?”

“…”

“Huh? Why are you ignoring me? That makes the person asking feel bad.”

“She… she said her name is Na-me. Right, Na-me?”

“Is our Na-me having trouble speaking? Or are you deliberately trying to make me feel bad?”

“No, no, I think Na-me is just nervous because this is her first time here.”

“Really? Well, whatever. You two tiny ones look good together.”

As soon as Young went downstairs with a whoosh, A-rin let out a sigh of relief.

“That was Young unnie who used to share this room with me. She’s in 5th grade and knows a lot of scary seniors, so if you meet her again, you should treat her well.”

I could see her leading other children downstairs. She seemed to be acting as the leader among the elementary school kids.

Perhaps the reason A-rin had been sharing a room with Young, who didn’t match her age, was because she had the lowest rank in the group.

Even now, A-rin was jumping with joy at reclaiming the bottom bunk that had been forcibly taken from her by Young.

This wasn’t the imperial palace, and I had absolutely no desire to get involved in children’s politics.