Ch.74Fox (2)

If life always went according to plan, nothing would be more joyful, but as everyone in this world knows, life doesn’t roll along so easily.

Over the past few days, we’ve been searching for potential new homes.

But contrary to Silvia’s hopeful predictions, all the places she had scouted were contaminated with dense magical corruption.

I clearly saw that look in her eyes, despair flowing freely.

There were still a few candidates left, but now we had no time.

On the morning of what had become our seventh day wandering through the forest,

As soon as I opened my eyes and broke into a dry cough, I could already guess.

That the end of my life was approaching in such an unremarkable and dull way.

Looking at my noticeably pale arms and palms, I could easily imagine what state my face was in, but Silvia herself said little about my condition.

She probably didn’t want to worry me,

But my face reflected in Silvia’s red eyes showed sunken cheeks, and her trembling gaze contrasting with her firmly pressed lips transparently conveyed the truth she was trying so hard to hide from me.

Silvia was clearly anxious.

Perhaps that’s why her footsteps felt so hasty and quick today.

Or maybe I was the one who had slowed down.

I collapsed against a tree and, breathing heavily, said:

“Silvia, just a moment… let’s rest for a moment.”

She didn’t miss my feeble voice, squeezed out as I gazed pitifully at the back of her head.

Silvia turned around hastily, her expression no longer able to hide her true feelings.

Her face, stained with shock and sorrow, rushed toward me.

The dry coughing wouldn’t stop.

“Ash! Are you alright?”

“…Just a moment, let’s rest.”

“…”

Silvia bit her lip.

As much as my condition required rest, we had no time.

I looked at her and slowly caught my breath.

My useless lungs, rejecting even the act of taking a deep breath, kept producing dry coughs.

It’s all over, just give up.

That’s what my body seemed to be telling me.

“Haah…”

“…Ash.”

Honestly, I had no attachment to this life full of misfortune.

Ever since burning Laila’s reanimated corpse, I’d been somewhat out of my mind.

A dimmed sense of reality. An unclear sense of existence.

It felt as if my soul had stepped three paces away from my body and was staring blankly at what remained of me with folded arms.

I was honestly tired of this helpless emptiness.

I wanted it to end.

“…Five minutes, five minutes is all I need.”

“Alright.”

But I couldn’t collapse just yet.

Not for someone like me, but for her.

Whenever I thought about Silvia, who would be left alone in solitude again after my death, the will to at least try until the end would surge within me.

I bit my lips tightly as I coughed dryly, slowly inhaling through my nose.

My fingertips were numb, and I had no feeling in my toes.

My legs below the calves felt heavy, as if someone else’s legs had been attached to me.

My consciousness was becoming hazy.

My vision flickered as if a black cloth was being lowered and lifted repeatedly inside my eyelids.

No,

Not yet.

I must show my resolve.

‘You killed me, but you want to live, brother?’

No, Laila.

I’ll be there soon,

I’m just trying to show Silvia one last respect.

Wait just a little longer.

Soon, I’ll come to you.

I have so much to tell you.

It might sound like an excuse, but I really did my best, and yet because I was so inadequate and pathetic, I want to apologize for being such a worthless brother to you.

So, please wait just a little longer.

I slowly tried to stand up, supporting myself against the tree.

Silvia approached me slowly, grabbed my arm, and helped me up.

I exhaled slowly and said:

“…Alright, let’s go now.”

No matter how much willpower one has, there are things that simply cannot be achieved.

In the end, despite her carrying me on her back and running, we cruelly found ourselves facing another night in the middle of the forest.

Perhaps due to my haziness, it seemed like night had fallen more quickly today.

“Damn it!”

Silvia slowly slowed her pace, then struck a nearby tree with her fist and shouted.

As a loud cracking sound echoed through the forest, birds flew away, their wingbeats spreading across the night sky.

As if that sound were a signal, I slowly sank to the ground.

Silvia turned around with a shocked expression at the sound of me collapsing and rushed over to support my head.

She spoke with a resolute voice:

“Ash, let’s leave the forest tomorrow. No, come here and get on my back. Let’s leave right now.”

“Haah… ha, Silvia… ma’am.”

I slowly shook my head.

I knew all too well how quickly a forest that begins to darken becomes covered in pitch-black darkness.

The forest at night would be dangerous enough even if we moved carefully, but it was obviously more dangerous now when we were filled with urgency.

After all, the carriage accident where I lost Laila also happened in the forest at night.

Although I knew I was dying from the magical corruption accumulating in my body—my breathing becoming rough, feeling stabbing pains throughout my body, and experiencing overwhelming fatigue that made it difficult to move even a finger—I didn’t think I would fail to survive even this night.

If Silvia held my hand, I felt I could hold on for a few more days.

I opened my trembling lips:

“Hold… my hand.”

Silvia grabbed my hand as if snatching it and held it tightly with both of her hands.

Soon her body began to glow white, and a warm energy spread throughout my body through our hands.

Holy power.

It’s slight, but breathing seems to become easier.

I slowly raised myself and said:

“Let me make a fire.”

“No, stay still. I’ll make the fire.”

“No…”

I waved my free hand slightly and chanted a spell.

The fire that emerged from my trembling fingertips created a long tail in the air, spinning around before quickly taking the form of a fox about the size of my head.

“This is something I can still do.”

“…Ash.”

Every night during our camping in the forest over the past few days, I had made the fire.

Admirably, this fox that appeared through my flame magic not only warmed the chilly night air,

But as if it had gained consciousness, it maintained its form while I slept and protected Silvia and me by preventing wild animals from approaching.

Magic that persists even when the user’s consciousness is cut off—if I ever had the chance, I would have liked to research it, but I wasn’t sure if I would have such an opportunity.

Well, it didn’t really matter.

Having seen it every day for the past few days, I had grown somewhat attached to it, and true to its fox form, it was quite cute.

“Don’t you think this little one has some charm?”

“…Ash,”

“Haha, I guess that’s silly of me to say about mere magic.”

“You’re… pushing yourself,”

“No… I’m not pushing myself.”

The fox, unlike my dying self, looked vibrant.

Probably because my magical power was still abundant.

I gently scratched under the chin of the fox that was crouching in front of me.

Despite being made of flickering flames, it was pleasantly warm, and the way it nuzzled my finger with its cheek was endearing.

I smiled with satisfaction and said:

“…Silvia.”

“Yes,”

“You’re so worried about me that you can’t sleep anyway. At least with this little one here… if you can feel the warm heat it creates while you sleep, it means I’m still alive… so you don’t have to worry.”

“…”

“I don’t feel like I’m going to die tonight. Really.”

“…Ash.”

I slowly looked at Silvia.

Her eyes looked hollow.

Not dying doesn’t mean being invincible.

She was a monstrous person in many ways, but she was still human.

She might not die from lack of sleep, but she would feel fatigue.

She might not die from accumulated magical corruption, but her body must be in as much of a mess as mine.

I coughed dryly and said:

“So sleep comfortably tonight.”

“…”

“And tomorrow morning, let’s leave the forest.”

“…What?”

Silvia asked back, startled by my words.

I looked up at her and nodded.

“…Let’s leave. Together.”

The area under Silvia’s widely opened eyes trembled.

She slowly lowered her head, kissed my cheek, and embraced me.

It was no wonder Silvia was surprised.

Seeing me deteriorate day by day, Silvia had been constantly worrying over the past few days.

Should we leave the forest immediately, or should we keep searching?

Would she risk spreading the curse to the world, or would she risk Ash possibly dying?

In the face of this choice with its time limit approaching moment by moment, her decision to wander through the forest was partly due to her mission as a hero wanting to protect the world, but it was also because of my stubbornness.

It was because I, who was dying, had been implicitly refusing to leave the forest.

She knew that I had no attachment to life, and that what I feared more than death was harming others with the curse.

Thankfully, she had respected my stubbornness.

But now we had reached our limit.

Not only had my body reached its limit, but so had my heart.

I could no longer bear to see Silvia struggling and suffering because of me.

Moreover, at some point, an impious thought had entered my hopeless mind.

Perhaps there was no place in this forest where we could live—that unsettling imagination.

I no longer wanted to see Silvia struggling in the magical corruption, searching for an oasis that might not exist.

“Of course, before we leave… we need to find… something to cover… my face.”

“We can hunt on our way out. For now, even animal hide will do.”

“…Sounds good.”

I gave a faint smile and gently squeezed her hand that was holding mine.

I could feel it.

The grip of her fingertips.

And within it, my thin life that seemed about to be crushed at any moment.

I might not die today, but I probably wouldn’t survive even if we left the forest.

I didn’t think this body could recover even if I breathed fresh air free of magical corruption.

That was the true reason I wanted to leave the forest.

Although my time in the forest was much shorter compared to Silvia’s, the forest scenery—where my view was always blocked by trees no matter which direction I looked—was too suffocating for me, who had grown up in the Goldfield domain with its endless golden fields stretching beyond the horizon.

For my final moment, I wanted to die not in the forest filled with trees that crowded my vision, but under a clear blue sky with her face above me.

I wanted to die feeling her platinum hair like sunlight in the blue sky, rather than her red eyes that resembled the burning Millwood village.

And, above all…

I wanted her to live a new life.

Of course, we were under this terrible curse, but recalling how Silvia had treated me when I was first rescued, with cloth and masks covering her face, this curse could be somewhat controlled with sufficient caution and by accepting inconvenience.

Of course, mistakes would lead to fatal consequences, which is why she had hidden herself in the forest, but since we could no longer live in the forest anyway.

I thought that this was her opportunity to find a life worthy of her achievements, and a partner worthy of her achievements.

Because she deserved it.

Unlike me who had only failed throughout life, she who had accomplished great deeds throughout her life deserved happiness.

Whether she knew my feelings or not, she gently laid her upper body on mine and brought her cheek to mine, saying:

“I’m sorry… I made big promises but couldn’t find anything in the end.”

“It’s not your fault, Silvia.”

“It is my fault, I…”

“No, it’s not.”

“Ash…”

I slowly raised my trembling fingertips and brushed her hair.

As I gently tidied her bangs, I felt something wet.

The cheek pressed against mine also felt a hot moisture, and soon became damp.

“I’m sorry… truly,”

“Silvia…”

“…ugh, hic,”

I hesitated for a moment.

Should I, who was about to die, say such things?

Would it only give her lingering attachments?

Would it only make her heartbroken and sad?

I knew.

How selfish and cruel the words I was about to say were.

But I slowly twisted my trembling lips and opened them.

After all, I was someone who had only failed throughout life.

I wanted her to be happy, but I didn’t want her to forget me.

Selfish and terrible bastard.

I know.

Because that’s who I’ve always been.

A chilling hypocrite who cried at the beautiful morning sun while living instead of Laila.

If I was about to die, I wanted to leave this behind all the more.

I had to say these words.

“I love you.”

I could feel her body startle.

I squeezed out my dying voice and whispered in her ear:

“I love you… truly, I love you, Silvia.”

“I love you too… I love you too.”

The fox slowly stepped on fallen leaves and began circling around us.

An unstoppable drowsiness washed over me.

Slowly, very slowly.

My eyes began to close.

.