Ch.74A Star for You (6)

It didn’t take me long to realize what I had just heard.

I needed to handle this situation. With that single thought in mind, I looked at Irene.

But when our eyes met, those moist eyes of hers made my breath catch in my throat. I quickly averted my gaze and managed to part my lips.

“You shouldn’t do this.”

“Why not?”

I swallowed hard at her innocent question, as if she truly didn’t understand.

Her hair had fallen slightly, glistening with sweat.

The subtle fruit scent mixed with alcohol, her breath tickling my ear—my face began to burn as if it might explode at any moment.

The veins in my trembling hands became visible.

Doing what she asked wouldn’t be difficult. But I couldn’t, could I?

I didn’t want to experience my “first time” like this.

It was… my mistake. Painfully aware of that fact,

I carefully gripped Irene’s shoulders as she pressed close to me and opened my mouth.

Though Irene breathed an oddly sensual sigh when I grabbed her shoulders, I tightly closed my eyes and pretended not to notice.

“Hehe.”

The corners of my mouth twitched at that pure laugh I’d never heard before.

So Irene could laugh like this, I thought.

She usually only smiled slightly, genuinely laughing so rarely I could count the occasions on one hand.

My heartbeat began to quicken at the sudden sound of laughter.

Before I knew it, Irene reached out and caressed my cheek.

Her touch was gentle. Those soft hands that usually only touched my hands… they seemed so small.

“You’re handsome… really. I always think this, but I don’t know how you can be so handsome.”

So she’s always thought that. Somehow I felt embarrassed.

Though I was already aware of it, hearing such words from Irene made it difficult to contain my embarrassment,

so I cleared my throat and barely managed to separate myself from her.

If ever there was a time in my life to exercise patience, it would be today.

‘I didn’t know she was this weak to alcohol.’

Since the novel occasionally described her holding a wine glass,

I thought she had some immunity to alcohol. But to get drunk on just one glass of fruit wine.

I briefly licked my lips, then took hold of Irene’s shoulders and helped her up.

I had no intention of staying here. Nor did I plan to return to the duke’s mansion.

If I brought the drunk Irene back there… I might end up dead.

It seemed best for me to stay with her until she regained her senses.

Besides, this was probably the last time I’d see Irene drunk, so I wanted to savor the moment a little longer.

“Let’s go, miss. I think you need to clear your head.”

“…Don’t hold my shoulder.”

After saying that, Irene coldly replied while removing my hand from her shoulder.

Momentarily confused by her sudden change in attitude, I was surprised when she approached me and naturally linked her arm with mine, nodding with satisfaction.

“That’s better. This is nicer, isn’t it? Don’t you think?”

“Ah… yes, it is…”

This was the first time we’d linked arms. Feeling as if my innocence had been suddenly stolen, I narrowed my eyes briefly,

then sighed and stared at Irene who was holding onto my arm.

I had no idea how to handle this.

Her actions were always two steps ahead of my thoughts, enough to leave me feeling swept along.

…But since this wasn’t so bad,

I began taking awkward steps to ensure her arm remained linked with mine.

“So, when are you going to kiss me?”

That was something I’d better pretend I didn’t hear.

#

Our interlocked fingers floated in the air.

Her hand swung rhythmically like a pendulum. Whatever had her so excited,

there was even a sense of rhythm in her footsteps as she walked with her arm no longer linked with mine.

It wasn’t bad. I’d sometimes imagined what it would be like if she acted this way, and it suited her much better than I’d expected.

‘Perhaps this is what she’s wanted to do all along.’

Since she would never act like this once she regained her senses,

I thought perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if I initiated such gestures first.

Not that I planned to swing my hands around like this,

but I could certainly link arms with her whenever she wanted.

“Evan.”

It was Irene’s voice that broke my reverie.

When I turned my head at her slightly irritated tone, Irene was staring at me.

“…Focus on me. Today is… just for the two of us.”

I let out a small laugh at those words. When someone comes at you like that, it’s quite difficult to control your emotions.

Squeezing our interlocked hands, I nodded and looked into the distance.

They say alcohol brings courage, and I was using that as an excuse to honestly reveal my feelings.

But it was she who had become honest, which stirred mixed emotions in me.

Could this be what she truly felt inside?

I didn’t fully believe in drunken confessions, but at least she didn’t seem to be lying right now.

Seeing her slightly drooping shoulders as if somewhat disappointed, I smiled faintly and spoke.

“I’m always looking at you. Haven’t I told you?”

Tapping my eyes gently, I whispered quietly.

“I’ve often said that my eyes hold only you, haven’t I?”

“…Oh, um. Yes.”

I smiled at Irene as she lowered her head to hide her reddened cheeks.

She was truly adorable. The miss I served.

During Stout, the number of people wandering the streets decreases significantly.

Perhaps because of that, the empty street was filled with emptiness, with hardly anyone passing by.

The sound of people chattering loudly couldn’t be heard. Just the sound of the wind,

the rustling of leaves, the chirping of insects, and the dripping of water droplets falling to the ground.

The world never allows complete silence. Even if all those sounds disappeared,

the sound of heartbeats would remain, leaving an awkwardness. I inhaled softly.

Under the brilliantly shining stars, I immersed myself in the moment to savor it.

“Do you like stars?”

I turned my head at the sudden question.

Irene stood there blankly, staring at the sky as she asked me.

If asked whether I liked stars, well. Honestly, I thought stars themselves were beautiful.

But if asked to become like a star, wouldn’t I refuse?

“I don’t particularly like them.”

The stars illuminating the sky were beautiful. I wasn’t so emotionally deficient as to deny that fact,

but the thought that came to mind whenever I looked at them made me frown.

Despite filling the sky, those stars were actually separated by distances too vast to estimate.

In the pitch-black darkness where nothing could be seen,

the only basis for distinguishing one from another was their faint light, barely perceptible.

“Don’t they seem lonely?”

“That’s an unusual perspective.”

I simply shrugged at her words. Everyone has different impressions, don’t they?

I wondered if she had regained her senses somewhat, so I looked at her.

But the faint flush on her cheeks showed that she was still intoxicated.

Well, how could all the effects of alcohol disappear in just a few minutes?

Step, step.

Even as we walked for quite some time holding hands, her gaze remained fixed on the night sky.

Was there something special there?

But all I could see was a half-moon and twinkling stars—just an ordinary night sky with nothing special about it.

“I like stars.”

“Is that so?”

“More precisely, I used to like them.”

With a rather refreshed expression, she smiled and clung to me again, linking her arm with mine as we entered the park.

Perhaps she was getting tired. Noticing a hint of fatigue on her face, I found a large bench and settled there.

“…This is tiring. Hehe.”

“Understandably so. It’s been quite a while since you’ve been out walking for this long.”

Hiccup.

Irene hiccupped briefly, and rather than answering, she rested her head on my shoulder and quietly exhaled.

The thin, quiet breath dispersed into the air.

Perhaps because of her hair touching my shoulder, I felt my cheek tickle.

…It was quiet. Amidst only the occasional sound of our breathing,

and the rustling of leaves in the wind, Irene slowly opened her mouth.

“Alcohol is rather disappointing. I feel dizzy… and hazy… I’m not sure what I’m saying.”

“Isn’t that the good part? Sometimes, using alcohol as an excuse, you can honestly express your feelings.”

“…You talk like someone who’s had a lot to drink. Even though you said it’s your first time.”

Feeling a bit embarrassed, I smiled awkwardly.

Irene looked into my eyes and chuckled before turning her gaze back to the sky.

Wondering what she found so fascinating up there, I asked, and Irene pointed to a star and parted her lips.

“Isn’t it pretty? Even in this darkness, it shines so brightly.”

“It is pretty.”

Unlike my impression of stars, Irene simply stared at them blankly.

Just like someone infatuated with something—would it be silly to feel jealous?

But the emotion that rose was so honest that I couldn’t help but ask her.

“You seem to really like stars.”

“Because I wanted to become like a star.”

I closed my mouth at those words. It took quite some time to understand what she meant by wanting to become like a star.

But as if she expected that, Irene glanced at me and smiled faintly before speaking.

“I really hated being the heir to the family. No, perhaps I still hate it.”

I looked at her for a moment. It felt like now wasn’t the time for me to speak.

I should just listen quietly to what she had to say.

I gently stroked her hair as it rested on my shoulder.

Lowering my shoulder slightly so Irene could speak more comfortably, I quietly watched her.

“…When I was young, I think I was lonely. My father and others had so many expectations of me every day. Even doing just one of those things was overwhelming for me, but when I couldn’t do them, they scolded me. I couldn’t understand why they treated me that way, and I often cried alone.”

“……”

“When I curled up alone in the attic and looked up, I could see a small gap. Do you know what I saw through that gap?”

“Stars… wasn’t it?”

She nodded once at my response and took a deep breath.

“Yes, it was stars. The light was so visible even through that gap… I always curled up and stared at that light. I envied it. That star. While I was in such a dark place, the star could shine on its own. And with other stars nearby, I thought the star wouldn’t be lonely. That’s what I thought.”

I couldn’t give a proper answer to that.

I felt I could somewhat empathize with her feelings.

When I was alone in a small room, didn’t I also stare blankly at the sky like she did?

But since we had different impressions of the same scenery,

I silently held her shoulder and looked at the sky.

Eventually, Irene’s hand pointed to the sky.

“I put one person in each star. Rophena in that one, Sir Chris in that one. And Lize in that star. And if I think of myself as the remaining star… strangely, I didn’t feel lonely.”

Our gazes met. At a very close distance, I faced those rippling blue eyes.

Eyes filled with stars sparkled. At the same time, they held sadness and faded loneliness.

Longing, now lost longing—she slowly pulled up the corners of her mouth as she recalled it.

She said she used to like stars.

Does that mean she no longer feels lonely?

I wanted to ask, but deliberately didn’t. Not until she spoke of it herself.

I simply lent her my shoulder and kept my mouth shut.

“Childish, isn’t it? That I did this even as an adult.”

“…Not at all.”

It was I who had similar imaginings even at a much older age than her.

How could I think it childish? I removed my hand from her shoulder and took her hand again.

Irene’s hand on my lap was warm. Perhaps due to the alcohol,

her oddly excited breath was also hot. I deliberately ignored that heat and looked into the distance.

“But now, I don’t look at the stars much anymore.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m no longer lonely. The maid who used to glare at me, the people who expected perfection from me… they’re all gone now.”

She stretched her hand toward the sky and then burst into laughter.

After laughing for quite some time at whatever she found amusing, Irene lowered her hand and quietly moved her lips.

“I wanted to become a star, so many people would look at me. To cherish me, embrace me, love me. That’s what I wanted. But now, I wonder what use that all is.”

“I see.”

“I don’t need to shine on my own anymore. I no longer think about becoming a star. Because of one person who came to me, I forgot to look at the stars at some point.”

Irene, who had been resting her head on my shoulder, got up and slowly began approaching me.

Embracing my shoulders and touching my chest with her remaining hand. Her breath reached me at a very close distance.

Though the fruit scent had faded, the heat transmitted like an aphrodisiac made my heart pound.

Thump, thump. Heat rose. Though summer hadn’t arrived yet, the heat surrounding us was hotter than midsummer.

Hot, so hot. It was a heat so intense that it was difficult to focus solely on the person in front of me.

“Do you know who that is?”

Those delicate fingers tickled my chest.

Tap, tap. The movement that started from the solar plexus reached my chest. It reached my collarbone.

And then it touched my neck, my chin, and finally my lips.

When the finger touching my lips was removed, I exhaled and looked at her.

“…It’s Evan.”

I knew. Vaguely, I knew who she was referring to.

But because I wanted her to answer herself, I deliberately kept my mouth shut and waited for her answer.

I could see stars behind her. They were truly brilliant stars.

Perhaps that’s why she said she wanted to resemble those stars.

But at this moment, the most radiant thing in my eyes was the woman in front of me.

Her white hair flowing with the moonlight touched her face. In this empty park, amidst the flowing silence, I could hear heartbeats.

Thump, as if synchronized, the sound of hearts beating together made me smile.

In this medieval park without a single streetlight, in this darkness illuminated only by moonlight, what was clearly visible were those blue eyes.

Our eyes met. I could see her flushed cheeks.

I couldn’t tell if it was from being drunk or purely from embarrassment at the situation.

How could I not understand what this atmosphere meant? It was time to gather courage.

But since it wasn’t as easy as it sounded, I raised my trembling hand and slowly… brushed back Irene’s hair.

“…This time, I cannot endure as I did before.”

“I know.”

I smiled faintly as I looked at her, who answered so firmly.

The distance closed. At that distance where just a little more movement would bring our skin into contact. This time, it was Irene who spoke.

“You said earlier, Evan, that one can honestly express their feelings using alcohol as an excuse.”

“…Yes.”

“I spoke honestly. Now… it’s Evan’s turn.”

Honestly. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very good with words.

I couldn’t articulate my inner feelings as well as she might want.

I gently caressed Irene’s cheek as she approached.

Wanting to ease her tension a bit, my hand moved fluidly, brushing past Irene’s ear.

Her hair touched my hand. That snow-white hair tickled my hand, and I gently pulled at the nape of her neck.

It was a very close distance. A distance so close that just a little movement would bring our skin into contact.

That moment of pulling her closer felt like an eternity.

Our gazes met. Our heated cheeks touched, and eventually our lips met.

Warmth overlapped. The hand holding the nape of her neck moved down to embrace that slender waist.

Irene’s hands, which hadn’t found their place, finally gripped my shoulders and trembled.

Like a dream, like a fantasy.

I thought it was very soft.

Irene’s body trembled slightly at the awkward touch of our lips.

But to prevent her from pulling away in surprise, I added strength to the hand embracing her waist.

A warm breeze began to blow, out of place in this space filled with hot fervor.

The warmth of spring, now ended, that felt good just by touching.

Our tongues met through slightly parted lips. As if wanting to feel each other’s warmth a little more in this moment,

that desire to explore each other intertwined. As if craving the feelings that couldn’t be spoken, promising to hear those feelings next time.

It wasn’t skillful. Since neither had experienced it before, we simply moved guided by instinct.

What comes next? We didn’t think about that. We only wished that this moment of connection would last forever.

For time to stop, ignoring the trials that would come next. We only wished for this happiness to continue for a long time.

The stars no longer shone.

In this moment, in this moment of connection.

The most radiant thing was only the person in front of each other.

The emotion filling the empty heart was nothing but happiness.