Ch.72Omen (5)

I was crouched by the flowing river, washing my face.

The refreshing water seemed to clear not only the sweat from the heat of the fire I had started and the soot covering my body from burying the charred corpses, but also my troubled mind.

Yet no matter how many times I washed my hands, the ash clinging to my fingers showed no sign of coming off.

After rinsing my hands in the river water several times, I finally gave up and stood.

If Laila wants to stay with me, it wouldn’t be right as her brother to coldly turn her away.

As I slowly turned around, Silvia approached me, holding a scabbard in one hand.

“…Ash.”

“I’m sorry.”

I apologized immediately, bowing my head without making any excuses.

Despite my terrible mistake, I was grateful for her consideration—she hadn’t scolded me or questioned me, but had silently helped until we finished the humble burial procedure, covering the remains with ash instead of soil.

Thanks to her, by the time the flames that filled this ruin had died down, we were able to rebury the bodies of the Millwood villagers, the five people I had killed, and Laila’s body.

Well, I’m not sure if they could still be called bodies at this point.

“Ash, what do you have to be sorry for?”

“I… I burned down the entire cabin.”

“…Did your magic go out of control?”

“No… the undead were walking around while on fire…”

“Then it’s not your fault.”

“…But it’s not—”

“Enough, I said it’s not your fault.”

Silvia firmly cut off my words.

Then she slowly approached and embraced me tightly.

“Thank good… no, are you hur… um,”

She kept stumbling over her words as if there was something she wanted to say, but nothing more than a syllable or two came from her lips.

She seemed to be carefully choosing her words.

After hesitating for a long while, she finally managed to utter one question.

“…Are you okay?”

“…”

What a comprehensive question.

Am I okay?

Is she asking if I was injured in the sudden undead attack?

If so, my answer would be “yes.”

Our special training must have paid off, as I was able to calmly use my magic despite the sudden situation.

My flames burned the revived undead to a crisp.

Laila too…

Perhaps her question was considering the psychological shock I experienced from having to kill my sister who had been revived as an undead.

If that’s the case, my answer is,

“…I’m… fine…”

“Ah… Ash…”

“…”

I was fine.

I had studied theology, one of the essential subjects taught from childhood.

Even if revived as an undead, that corpse is not the person they were in life.

It’s merely magical energy clinging to a human corpse, making it move.

So, I didn’t kill Laila again.

No.

Laila is now in the goddess’s embrace, together with our parents.

What I killed,

What I burned to death…

The undead that reached out to me—Laila’s corpse with wolf bite marks all over her rotting flesh, maggots swarming in her exposed intestines—was nothing more than an undead.

“Silvia.”

“…”

As if anticipating my next words, Silvia was already shaking her head.

But I paid no attention to her delicate, wing-like movements and finally voiced the intense desire that had risen in my heart.

“Won’t you kill me, please?”

“No.”

Silvia shook her head while holding me tightly.

I pleaded once more with a dry voice.

“It’s… not easy, is it? I want to stop now.”

“Don’t say that… please, okay?”

“You know, Silvia. I’ve heard that life is difficult because of human relationships, but you, my only relationship, make me happy. But just living is too hard. Simply being alive is too overwhelming.”

“…I know, I feel the same way…”

Silvia’s moist voice seemed to pound heavily against my heart.

That’s right,

She would understand.

My current feelings,

This heart that feels crushed, broken, damaged, devastated, torn, stripped, grown cold, ripped, burned, and melted away.

This pain that makes me desperately wish to go insane,

She probably understands it better than anyone else in this world.

A question mixed with faint admiration and fear escaped my lips without my realizing it.

“How… how did you endure it? For so many years… without anyone by your side?”

“…”

Silvia didn’t answer my question.

She clearly couldn’t answer.

Because she hadn’t endured.

She hadn’t endured, couldn’t bear it, but because the curse prevented her from dying, she had merely existed with breath in her body, not surviving through her own will.

I nodded as if I understood without needing to hear her answer.

“So… please.”

“No, no, no!”

“Please,”

“Absolutely not.”

“…Why?”

Silvia whispered while holding me tightly.

“I can’t… can’t endure, can’t bear, can’t stand it.”

“…”

“Can’t kill you… how could I… how could I kill you, Ash…”

“…Silvia.”

She squeezed my arms as if she wanted to crush them.

The trembling of Silvia’s body transferred directly to mine.

She whispered to me with an unstable, shaking voice like a frightened child.

“I… need you.”

“…”

“Ash… I love you.”

Such a terrified voice.

I suddenly remembered Silvia imitating Laila who was afraid of lightning.

Back then, Silvia didn’t look scared at all, but now she was trembling like a frightened child, reminiscent of Laila from the past.

I let out a laugh mixed with a sigh.

“…Ha,”

Love, she says.

Good grief.

Despite being cursed, having nowhere to go, and having my entire family die, the reason I should stay alive is because Silvia loves me.

Her lover.

That seems to be my role.

I nodded with a hollow smile.

*

The already dilapidated ruins of Millwood Village had now become a complete wasteland with only foundations remaining.

The herb garden Silvia had been tending before I arrived, the small but cozy cabin, and all the furniture inside had all burned to nothing.

We searched through the cabin and other ruins for items that might have survived the fire, but aside from a few odds and ends, we couldn’t find many meaningful objects.

At least the kitchen utensils made of metal were mostly intact and could be used again after a thorough cleaning, but the wooden furniture, cloth blankets, and clothes were beyond salvation.

I wanted to do something to help, but these items were completely impossible to obtain in this remote area, so I could only bow my head and apologize to Silvia multiple times.

Surprisingly, Silvia shook her head and instead comforted me.

“The cabin was too small for both of us anyway.”

“That outfit didn’t suit me at all, I was planning to throw it away from the beginning.”

“That bed was so cheap it made my back hurt.”

Silvia tried to comfort me with these ridiculous statements.

Knowing how valuable those items were in this place untouched by human hands, the more she made excuses for me, the more I couldn’t calm the burning shame and guilt on my face.

I was the one who had done wrong, yet it felt like Silvia was the one being careful around me.

It must be because I said I wanted to die.

I felt even more sorry because it seemed like I was blackmailing her.

We spent a long time sifting through the burning village, salvaging remaining items and piling them up.

The items we managed to retrieve from the ashes of an entire cabin… no, an entire village, amounted to only enough to wrap in a single bear skin.

As the shock of killing Laila who had been revived as an undead gradually subsided, I began to realize the magnitude of the accident I had caused.

Silvia, as if reading my mind, encouraged me in a loud voice instead.

“I had too many bad memories in this village anyway.”

“…Silvia.”

“It’s too dangerous to continue living here with Ash. This is actually for the best.”

“But,”

“Ash.”

Silvia suddenly grabbed my shoulders and said with a serious expression.

“You seem to be mistaken, but I’m not just making things up to comfort you.”

“…What?”

“This forest is starting to fill with magical energy. That’s why the undead appeared. Even if the village hadn’t burned down, we would have had to relocate to escape the magical energy.”

“…Oh.”

“Even I can’t pick up and move an entire cabin, you know? Do you think I’m a monster? We would have had to leave most things behind anyway, so what Ash did wrong is practically nothing. Understand?”

Somehow I felt like Silvia actually could pick up and carry an entire cabin…

“What are you thinking right now?”

“Ah, nothing.”

When I hurriedly averted my gaze, Silvia smiled slightly and patted my head.

Then she caressed my cheek once, moved her hand lower to my chin, and slowly lifted my face to meet her eyes.

Our fiery red eyes, which had been burning all day, met each other’s gaze.

Silvia spoke, wiping the smile from her face.

“I’m truly sorry about Laila, Ash…”

“…Ugh,”

“Since she was carbonized to that extent, she won’t be revived as an undead again. So there’s nothing to worry about anymore.”

“Laila will… resent me.”

“That wasn’t Laila. You know that.”

“…But,”

“Think of it this way. You were finally able to completely send your sister off.”

“…”

“We buried her with grave goods. Laila has gone to the goddess’s side with your parents. She’ll be waiting for you there. Silly Ash. Laila wouldn’t resent you. She was such a good child. Right?”

“…”

I silently nodded.

Silvia quietly looked at me, then gently closed her eyes and slowly approached me.

“Ah, mmph,”

Before I could react, she kissed me.

Our lips, completely dried out from spending all day in flames and ashes, slowly met.

As if trying to moisten that dry, sharp skin, her soft tongue worked its way between our lips, dampening them.

As our lips absorbed the moisture and softened, Silvia’s lips parted slightly and began to gently bite my lower lip.

Only then did I drop the items I was holding and cling to her, wrapping my arms around her neck.

We sucked on each other’s lips and tongues as if craving the missing moisture.

Her saliva tasted so sweet to me.

Like alcohol, it seemed to intoxicate me.

I desperately wished for that.

I wanted to be drunk.

I wanted to forget everything that had happened today.

But just as some nightmares remain in memory long after waking, I became increasingly certain that I would never be able to forget this.

The feeling of Laila’s soggy flesh touched in the soil.

Those creepy eyes staring at me while her decayed body leaked its contents.

And the screams she made while burning.

I would never, ever forget.

The smell of Laila’s burning flesh that remained in my nostrils and wouldn’t go away.

I clung to Silvia with desperate movements, repeatedly pressing my lips against hers to erase that smell.