Ch.72Chapter 11. Understanding (1)

People with many secrets often make others feel uncomfortable.

They cut off conversations midway, stop talking in awkward situations, or obviously hide things while refusing to share them.

Yuka had met such people occasionally throughout her life.

Adults were like that. Even her father and grandfather had such moments.

The reasons for hiding things were always good ones.

Because it would hurt you to know, because it would be dangerous if people found out.

She knew these were just excuses.

Pain lessens when shared, and any danger can be resolved when multiple people know about it and work together.

No matter how many good reasons they gave for hiding the truth, the ultimate reason was only one.

They didn’t trust Yuka.

They didn’t trust that young Yuka could handle the fact that her mother had passed away. They didn’t trust that Yuka wouldn’t tell others their secrets. They didn’t trust that Yuka could protect people. They didn’t trust that Yuka wouldn’t give up on this work in the future.

She understood.

Yuka Yuuki didn’t live her life trusting everyone either.

Yuka had always lived hiding everything from her friends, or rather, from children who could have become her friends.

She had already given more excuses than she could count on both hands for transferring schools. She had given even more excuses when she suddenly left class early, or didn’t show up at all, or canceled plans with friends.

And Yuka couldn’t tell them the truth because she didn’t trust her friends either.

She was afraid they would avoid her if she told them that the long object she carried was a sword. She was afraid children would treat her like a monster if they knew she fought monsters.

Afraid they would treat her as strange. Afraid they would dislike and hate her. Afraid they wouldn’t be her friends and would ostracize her—

—But that didn’t mean she liked having secrets. Even while knowing she had many secrets herself, Yuka… disliked it.

“Should I… help you?”

In that sense, the girl in front of her was quite unique.

“No. I’m fine.”

Kurosawa, who shook her head saying that, was a girl with many secrets.

A girl whose secrets were gradually revealed one by one as Yuka got to know her.

And a girl with such a terrible past that Yuka didn’t know how to react each time a secret was revealed.

A girl who always had a pale face and a thin body, looking like she might fall over if pushed, yet somehow always standing firm, a commendable child.

Kurosawa looked up at Yuka with those black eyes.

Koko stood beside her, and Kuro was in her arms.

Kotone Kurosawa was a girl who was reluctant to share her secrets.

And Yuka was curious about those secrets.

She was curious, but decided not to pry deliberately.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m much better after resting.”

On the strong recommendation of the medical staff, Kurosawa ended up staying in the hospital room throughout the holiday. She didn’t need any more blood transfusions, but they said it could be dangerous to move around when her body hadn’t fully recovered after losing so much blood.

Normally, Kurosawa would have forced her way out of the hospital, but whether it was because she didn’t need to go to school the next day or because she didn’t need to go to work, she just quietly stayed in the hospital room.

The rest of the group was the same.

They slept at the hotel and came back to the hospital the next day. They repeated this routine.

And in the meantime, Yuka had gained another relationship that could be called friendship.

“You start work on Thursday, right?”

When Yuka asked, Kurosawa nodded.

“Then rest well until Wednesday.”

“…I know.”

Still, Kurosawa had many secrets.

Just like Yuka when she attended her previous school.

But Yuka found that… she wasn’t bothered by it. It was strange.

“Do you have any plans?”

“This and that.”

Yuka smiled as she answered Kurosawa’s question.

It’s summer. Most shrines probably have various events scheduled. When Yuka isn’t hunting yokai, she helps with shrine duties.

“Let’s meet again during the break.”

Kurosawa nodded at Yuka’s words.

“…”

For a moment, they stood without saying anything, then, without anyone taking the lead, they both raised a hand.

And waved.

“See you again.”

Words she had said many times to children who almost became her friends.

Yuka had never believed until now that these words would come true. After all, she always ended up transferring schools whenever an incident occurred.

But now it was different.

Looking at Kurosawa, who was waving at her with a very small smile on her lips, Yuka felt certain they would definitely meet again.

The certainty that she would see her tomorrow.

But at the same time, a corner of her heart was anxious.

Afraid of losing Kurosawa because of the secrets she hadn’t yet shared. Afraid that Kotone Kurosawa, who had suddenly appeared in Yuka’s life, would disappear like a mirage.

…Ah, I see.

Yuka lowered her hand and turned around.

Because until now, Yuka had always been the one who disappeared. She had always been the one who drifted away without even becoming friends, without having time to properly get to know each other.

Because she had always remained just a passing memory in others’ minds.

Because she didn’t want to lose the relationship she had built with Kurosawa.

The reason the secrets didn’t bother her was because she could understand Kurosawa’s situation.

Because it was okay to share her own secrets in front of Kurosawa. Because she didn’t have to worry about being found out, and because Kurosawa was someone who understood and listened to Yuka’s stories.

“…”

I see, it wasn’t that I was bothered by secrets.

Yuka thought as she clenched her fist.

It wasn’t that hiding secrets was uncomfortable—it was just that she had been projecting herself onto those who couldn’t trust others enough to share their secrets.

She simply didn’t want to be that kind of person.

“…Haa…”

On her way to the station, Yuka stopped walking, looked up at the sky, and let out a long breath.

She wanted to help.

Even now, thinking about Kurosawa’s past made her heart feel constricted. Just as thinking about the victims’ emotions while hunting yokai felt terrible, Kurosawa’s past was equally horrific.

For now, she would watch over her.

Watch over her and be her strength.

Yuka made that promise to herself once more.

*

“Meow~”

Kuro seemed to have grown a bit since I last saw him. Was it just my imagination?

Even at an age of rapid growth, could he really have grown noticeably in just 3 days? He’s not a bean sprout.

Well, I decided to chalk it up to my imagination.

“Meow~”

Koko hugged Kuro and rolled around on the blanket. She seemed happy to see him after a while.

Well, Koko never accepted Kuro’s boundaries as boundaries from the beginning. She never had any reason to harbor negative feelings toward Kuro.

“Phew.”

After bathing Koko and thoroughly wiping Kuro’s body with wet wipes while I was at it, I was completely exhausted.

…Maybe I should have accepted Yuka’s help when she offered?

That thought crossed my mind briefly, but I quickly shook my head to dismiss it.

If I keep accepting help, eventually I won’t be able to live without it. And right now, I’d rather just be extremely tired.

That way, I wouldn’t dream.

…Though it was pretty depressing to exhaust my body for such a reason. But what could I do?

I was debating whether to turn on the TV or just go to sleep with the kids when,

Knock, knock.

I heard someone knocking on the door.

I got up from my seat.

In my previous life when I lived alone, I often just wore a trunk and a t-shirt, but since coming here, I felt it was a bit awkward to dress that way.

Whether it was prejudice or just that I hadn’t adapted to this body yet. Even so, being in just underwear was a bit…

But the good thing about being careful was that I could receive occasional visitors like this without any special preparation.

I approached the door and opened it with just the top chain still attached.

Click.

The opening door stopped midway, caught by the chain.

Standing just far enough back to be visible through the chain was Kagami.

“…”

I closed the door again and undid the chain.

“I’m going out front for a bit.”

“Front?”

“Just to the hallway.”

“Hallway?”

Hallway… didn’t I teach her that?

“In front of the door.”

“In front of the door.”

When Koko tried to get up, I gestured for her to sit back down.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Right back?”

Koko tilted her head as she spoke.

“Last time too, you said right back.”

“…”

I closed my eyes briefly and opened them again.

Then I went to Koko and gently gripped her shoulders, pushing them down.

Koko didn’t resist and sat down following my guidance.

“I’ll be right in front.”

Koko stared at me for a moment, then finally nodded.

It was endearing and cute, but… honestly, I had no idea what to do going forward.

She seemed to have learned from the conversations between the children and me throughout the trip, and now she could speak somewhat in sentences… but as with words like “hallway” just now, there were still many words she hadn’t properly learned yet.

Plus, she wasn’t even registered as a student at Hanakawa High School.

What am I going to do when the semester starts, really?

…

Well, okay.

I’ll think about that later.

For now, let’s deal with the immediate issue.

I placed Kuro in Koko’s arms as she sat down, and quickly went to the door.

Kagami was waiting patiently.

“I can’t go far.”

“I know. Because you have a ‘child’ now.”

People would misunderstand if you put it that way. I glanced at the room next to mine. Judging by the lack of light seeping through the door crack, it seemed they were running late again today.

The other room… well, I suppose you could say Koko was using it.

“So?”

I asked simply, implying that he should get straight to the point.

“…”

And I was a bit surprised.

Because Kagami wore what looked like a contemplative expression in response to my words.

Of course, I had seen him openly show a shocked expression before. When I released Koko’s seal.

But this was different from then. If at that time he couldn’t manage his expression at all, now he seemed to be carefully choosing his words. Kagami, who never lost his composure.

“…The incident last time was our mistake.”

“Huh?”

“…That another sect attacked you.”

“Ah.”

Right. That.

After experiencing such a major event, I had forgotten that Kagami had offered to assign people to me.

“Afterwards, we went back to the scene. We tried to investigate various aspects, but it seems measures had already been taken from above. Unfortunately, it was a tourist area with several private houses nearby. A car crashed into a wall, and then a truck crashed into that car.”

“…”

That’s right.

It was a major accident. Even if there hadn’t been a yokai in the truck, and even if no one had climbed onto the crashed van, it was already a huge accident. It could have been reported not just on local news but briefly on national news as well.

But I hadn’t heard anything about it becoming an issue during my time in the hospital.

“How?”

“First, the media can be controlled.”

Kagami presented the mainstream media as the first reason.

“A simple collision accident can be dismissed as nothing significant.”

There might be talk of media suppression and such, but if we were to question everything to that extent, the light novel’s world setting wouldn’t hold up.

“Then, what about the people who witnessed the incident?”

“About that.”

Kagami slightly furrowed his brow, looked up at the empty space, thought for a moment, and then spoke.

“You’re already familiar with the concept of a nest, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Perhaps you were all inside that nest throughout the fight.”

“Inside the nest?”

Only after answering did I recall the truck that had followed the van directly and smashed into it.

Considering the time gap between the collisions, the distance between the two vehicles wouldn’t have been that far.

“…No matter how reckless the radical faction is, they’re reluctant to reveal themselves to the entire world. Even with powerful weapons, they can’t face all of humanity.”

“…”

“It was supposed to be a place where you all should have died.”

“But?”

“They probably didn’t expect there to be an entity exactly like you.”

“But I was with Koko on the beach the whole time?”

“Maybe there was something that caused a misunderstanding?”

“…”

Ah. Right.

The hair tie.

At first, Yuka had tied a red hair tie in Koko’s hair, but it broke when Koko attacked the men who were hitting on us.

What she was wearing after that was a spare tie from the one I used to tie my hair.

And Koko… can move instantly if she needs to.

At a speed so fast it’s invisible.

If they were watching me enter the nest with Yuka, they would have also seen Koko coming to find where I was.

But Koko would have appeared as if she popped out of thin air.

Just like how Yuka and I entered the nest.

“It seems you have an idea.”

“Yes.”

I nodded.

“So?”

“How did it feel when you faced that mass of flesh?”

“…Like facing a yokai.”

“I see…”

Kagami sighed deeply.

“We didn’t anticipate how aggressively they would act.”

“…Killing people?”

“No.”

Kagami shook his head.

“…What do you know about your own existence?”

I briefly looked at Kagami’s face, trying to discern his intention.

But Kagami’s face was completely expressionless.

“…An avatar of a god.”

“That’s right. But you’re not a yokai. You were born receiving the precious seed of a being from afar, but your blood isn’t mixed with an entity from beyond dimensions.”

“…Huh.”

Wait a minute.

Could it be?

“…What if someone mixed a god’s blood with monsters to create something? Especially if that god is a being who doesn’t even think of communicating with humans.”

“Then, the creation of such a nest…”

“Probably due to that power. But they couldn’t control it. Perhaps the power was applied a bit too strongly, or maybe too weakly. Honestly, I don’t know the details. Unfortunately, I don’t have connections with ‘that side’ of the government.”

“Was the reason for attacking me due to personal anger?”

“That, I’m not sure about either. Maybe it was jealousy.”

“Jealousy?”

“…”

Kagami looked at me quietly.

“It takes quite a long time for a human body to grow. To grow to 16 years old takes exactly 16 years, right? Imagine if success was just 16 years away, but they gave up in the 15th year because they couldn’t wait. Wouldn’t that drive you mad?”

“Is that about me?”

“Yes, it is. About you.”

Kagami moved slightly closer to me.

I took a step back, but Kagami didn’t seem to mind.

“Why do you think I’m cooperating with you to this extent? Do you think I’m like an angel, expecting nothing in return?”

“…”

Kagami leaned toward me with a slight smile.

And in a very, very soft voice that seemed like no one but me could hear, he whispered,

“That’s right.”

“Despite appearances, I am a believer. I simply believe in the one I should believe in and follow their plan. Of course, I don’t just wait without making any effort. Thanks to that, I gained an entity like you and…”

His gaze shifted toward the door of my room.

“…perhaps even benefits I never expected.”

His eyes turned back to me.

“So, I apologize.”

And he suddenly apologized, which confused me a bit.

“…Why?”

“We assigned people, but something unexpected happened. We almost ruined everything.”

By “almost ruined,” does he mean I could have died?

“You assigned people?”

“…Yes.”

“What happened to all of them?”

“…”

I don’t think I need to hear it.

“Since this happened, let’s be more careful from now on. I’ll inform Mr. Yamashita in advance as well.”

…

I couldn’t say anything.

My shoulders felt heavy.

Kagami looked at me and seemed about to say something, but then closed his mouth.

After looking at me for a while, he bowed his head slightly.

“Well, despite the unpleasant events, rest well. The vacation is still quite long. You should enjoy it as befits your age.”

After hearing what you just said, I’m not sure if I can properly enjoy the rest of my vacation.

“Then, I’ll be going now. If anything happens, I’ll contact you again or come visit. They failed despite going to such lengths, so they’ll probably lay low for a while. There will be people with bloodshot eyes chasing after them.”

Somehow, I had a feeling that would be Miura’s father.

Kagami waved his hand lightly at me, then turned around without any lingering attachment.

And he left without looking back at me.

“…”

For a moment, I quietly watched his retreating figure, then headed back to my room.

Koko was sprawled out on the blanket, hugging Kuro.

Even Koko must be tired after going through such events.

…Alright.

I should just go to sleep now.

I yawned widely as I turned off the lights in the room.

Then I lay down next to Koko and closed my eyes.

I probably won’t have any dreams tonight. I’m that mentally exhausted.

Whether that’s a good thing or not, I don’t know.