Ch.6Hero Agency (6)

After finishing my meal, I faced a much bigger problem than the bathroom situation.

Now I needed to get ready to go out, which meant taking a shower. But I couldn’t figure out how to wash myself.

While I was standing awkwardly in front of the bathroom, Agath came over and asked me:

“Do you need help washing yourself?”

“I can wash myself, don’t worry.”

“Then why are you just standing there?”

“Well… it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Even though my appearance had changed to female, it still doesn’t feel like me. Rather, it feels like a completely different person.

The thought of not just seeing but having to wash the naked body of someone who feels like a different person is driving me crazy with embarrassment.

“If it’s too difficult, should I wash you instead? I can clean every nook and cranny, even the most intimate places.”

Feeling like I might go insane if I continued this conversation with Agath, I silently entered the bathroom.

And in the mirror, I saw myself in a form I still couldn’t get used to.

She’s really pretty. Which makes me even more annoyed.

If someone had the power to create this body, why not just make me a reasonably handsome man instead? Why a girl of all things?

Moreover, whatever muscle I had before has completely disappeared, replaced with soft flesh.

If I didn’t have the mission to stop the Demon King, I might have been grateful for this body.

With looks and a figure that could make money just by streaming without doing anything, life would be easier.

What’s the reason for sending me to this world in this body? Am I supposed to use my looks to persuade people?

One of them is obsessively crazy about magic, and the other two are women—how am I supposed to use my looks on them?

…Though it seems to be working on one of the women already.

Let’s just wash up first. I’ll figure out the rest later.

At least I want to live for more than a month.

***

I came out of the shower with a bright red face.

When Agath saw me, she chuckled and said:

“Why is your face so red? Don’t tell me you got turned on looking at your own body?”

“…”

“…Did you really get turned on?”

“Please just be quiet…”

This body still feels like someone else’s, not mine.

So just looking at it is embarrassing enough, but having to wash every part of it thoroughly?

I’m overwhelmed with shame to the point where I can’t say anything.

“You’re much more lustful than I thought…”

“It’s not like that, so please be quiet!”

I ran into my room like I was escaping.

***

While I was burying my face in the pillow trying to calm my embarrassment, someone entered the room.

When I looked up, I saw Rebecca carrying various items.

“…Why are you here?”

“If you treat your hair so carelessly, it will damage quickly. So I’ll teach you a few things.”

Rebecca makes me uncomfortable. After all, she had denied my very existence yesterday, suggesting everything might be an act. Wouldn’t it be stranger if I wasn’t uncomfortable?

So she’s probably not here just to help me—she must have some hidden agenda.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Well… is it enough to say it’s in return for the delicious meal?”

With that, she started drying my hair kindly.

***

Managing long hair is much more troublesome than I thought. She told me to use various products I couldn’t identify along with shampoo, and drying takes an incredibly long time.

“Next time you shower, make sure to wash as I instructed.”

“Can’t I just cut it to a bob?”

I’d prefer short hair like before, but since everyone would probably try to stop me, I compromised with a bob cut.

At least with a bob, I wouldn’t need to deal with such troublesome maintenance.

“No, you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“How could you cut such beautiful hair? Wouldn’t that be a waste?”

“But it’s annoying to maintain…”

When my hair was short, I could finish showering in 10 minutes. But now with this long hair, it takes three times longer. And if you add the time it takes to dry it…

Just thinking about repeating this tedious process every day makes me shudder.

“You’d have to maintain a bob cut the same way anyway.”

“…I have to do all that complicated stuff for a bob cut too?”

“How were you planning to wash your hair?”

“With shampoo.”

“…Sigh.”

Rebecca put her hand to her forehead and sighed as if she had a headache.

But isn’t using shampoo enough? It’s not like I’m washing my hair with soap.

“I should ask Agath to wash you instead.”

“…What?”

“If someone washes you, you won’t have to deal with the troublesome maintenance, right?”

“But wouldn’t that be too rude to Agath?”

“Agath would be more than happy to do it.”

“Okay… I’ll maintain it properly…”

I quickly surrendered.

I can barely look at my own body because of embarrassment, so I definitely couldn’t face someone else’s. And if that someone is Agath, the moment we shower together would surely be a point of no return.

“Then I’ll come back tomorrow to check if you washed properly.”

Rebecca said with a gentle smile.

Contrary to my initial thoughts, Rebecca seems to be as kind and gentle as her title of Saint suggests. Just watching her actions makes that clear.

Perhaps things might work out better than I expected.

“Would you be interested in joining the effort to stop the Demon King?”

“No.”

A sharp answer came without a moment’s hesitation.

“You don’t care if the world ends like this?”

“But our actions would be meaningless. Fate is already determined.”

“You speak as if you know fate.”

“What would you think if I really did know?”

My casually thrown comment received an unexpected response.

“…Do you really know fate?”

“Think what you will. Nothing changes regardless of what you think.”

Rebecca left after making that cryptic statement.

She’s definitely a good and kind person, but she seems to have fallen into fatalism and become a pessimist.

For now, I’ll assume her claim about knowing fate is nonsense. If fate truly existed, there would be no reason for the Goddess to send me to this world to save it.

But can I really trust the Goddess? Can I trust a deity who gave me nothing but penalties without any benefits?

Such thoughts grew until I started wondering what if fate really does exist.

What if, as Rebecca said, nothing I do can change fate?

The uncomfortable possibility I’ve been trying to ignore is increasingly filling my mind.

As anxiety turned to fear and fear turned to terror, Agath burst through the door.

“Ready? Let’s go buy clothes… Why are you trembling like that?”

“…It’s nothing.”

I answered with a voice shaking from fear.

Fate is all nonsense. Even if fate really exists, I have to change it somehow. But what if I can’t change fate…

The positive thoughts I forced myself to have were once again consumed by negative ones.

My companions are all crazy in some way. Let’s say that’s acceptable, but my physical condition is far more serious.

I’m too weak. There’s no way to grow stronger. And I don’t have any superior abilities either.

A hero would stand up unfazed in this situation, but I’m not a hero—just an ordinary person.

How can an ordinary person accomplish what only heroes can?

As I was despairing, suddenly Agath forced me down on the bed and climbed on top of me like last night.

“If you surrender to pleasure and willingly become a female, you won’t have to worry about anything. What do you want to do?”

“…”

I looked at Agath with empty eyes. I just don’t care anymore.

Maybe if my mind goes blank with pleasure, I could escape these thoughts?

Thinking that, my body naturally went limp.

“…Can I really take you?”

“…”

I’ve lost my will to live. That’s the perfect expression for me.

Hope seems vague and invisible, but despair is clear and vivid.

Can I really do this? Can a mere ordinary person with no special traits accomplish something that even heroes would struggle with?

What can I do when I have no extraordinary abilities, have undergone a gender transformation, and know nothing about this world?

My body has become weaker, and I’m completely isolated from the world I came from.

Even the state of my companions is seriously messed up. Because of all this, I have no energy left.

What can I possibly do in just one month…

“…Ugh.”

A sudden mild pain in my right wrist brought me back to my senses a little.

Wondering what happened, I looked up to see Agath gripping my right wrist tightly.

“If you don’t answer, I’ll really take you.”

“…Aagh!”

A pain much greater than before hit me.

“One wrist is already gone. But there are still plenty of parts I can break, so that’s fine.”

Agath said something terrifying while smiling brightly. Then she grabbed my left wrist.

“Stop it! It really hurts!”

They say pain can be medicine. As proof, the pain just now cleared my mind.

So when I tried to resist desperately like yesterday, Agath obediently got off me and said:

“Are you back to your senses now?”

As relief from escaping danger washed over me, my head started working normally again. Thanks to that, I could somewhat understand the current situation.

“…What kind of person breaks someone’s wrist to bring them back to their senses?”

“What’s more effective than shock therapy?”

“What if I develop trauma from this?”

“As long as the result is good. So what happened to make you like that?”

The result is good, huh? Trading my wrist for regaining my senses—such a rational exchange!

…How is this a good result? Hospital bills will be expensive, and it will take time to heal.

Anyway, what just happened was…

“I was just anxious.”

I’ve temporarily escaped negative thoughts, but the anxiety remains.

Especially significant is having no one to rely on. Since coming to this world, I’ve essentially been isolated.

What about the companions right in front of me? I just met them yesterday, and they’re all somewhat crazy—how can I rely on them?

In this situation, I can only trust myself, but even that is difficult. So my mental breakdown isn’t strange—it’s natural.

How nice it would have been if I had just one person I could trust…

While I was still feeling helpless, Agath said something strange again.

“At times like this, try thinking the opposite.”

“The opposite?”

“Give up on defeating the Demon King. Just live according to your desires.”

“…I don’t want to die.”

“Then live so enjoyably that you won’t regret it even if you die. Want to start by learning about pleasure?”

“I think I’d feel much better if I resist until the end.”

First of all, I absolutely refuse to “fall as a female.” Separately, I want to live, regardless of what others might say. I can’t die without even losing my virginity…

…I already died without losing it.

Still, I want to live more. Even without meaning or purpose, I still want to survive.

For that, I need to do everything I can.

“Would you be interested in joining the effort to stop the Demon King?”

Let’s try to persuade all these people somehow.

Honestly, I don’t think I can do it. I’m more likely to fail and be killed by the Demon King.

But I’ll keep trying. At least right now, I desperately want to live.

“Too troublesome, I won’t.”

…This is going to be difficult from the start.