Ch.69Signs (2)

*

‘…How long has it been?’

Silvia had lost track of the days.

Being alone in this forest, dying without meeting anyone, was too painful to bear even for such a strong warrior. By stopping herself from counting the days to avoid being conscious of the slowly passing time, she had almost completely lost her sense of time.

So, Silvia suddenly wondered.

How long had it been since Ash entered her life?

Seeing that the seasons were just beginning to change since Ash’s arrival, it clearly hadn’t been a year yet, but it didn’t feel like just a few weeks either.

However, compared to the changes in Silvia since Ash entered this forest, it was clearly an absurdly short amount of time.

Before the curse was transferred to Ash,

When both of them still felt uncomfortable with their cohabitation.

Back then, Silvia was completely broken from years of anxiety and panic with no one to rely on.

Having had no one to talk to, conversations with Ash were frequently interrupted at first,

And she reacted overly sensitively to Ash, who was simply curious about the identity of his benefactor.

Her anxious demeanor seemed very strange even to Ash, who spent most of his days lying in bed, painfully swallowing his grief over losing Laila.

In truth, Silvia’s mental state wasn’t much better now than it was then, but at least now all her attention and concern were directed toward Ash, preventing her from consuming herself in sorrowful reminiscence.

But Silvia back then, before feelings of love for Ash had blossomed,

That pitiful state after suffering from terrible memories for so long made it impossible for Ash to reveal that he was Maria’s brother.

Certainly, Ash’s consideration and judgment were not wrong.

When Silvia first learned that Ash was Maria’s brother, she was struck with such shock that she staggered and ended up falling on her backside.

The image of Maria dying to save her was the dream that caused the most fatal pain among Silvia’s nightmares.

And now Maria’s brother had also been subjected to her curse, forcibly excluded from this world, and worse, because of Silvia’s selfish desire to possess him, Ash had even experienced the terrible act of killing someone.

It was undeniably painful.

If she had known earlier, her conscience wouldn’t have allowed her to go that far, but because it was done out of love for Ash, Silvia suffered even more.

Conscience, honesty, courage, sacrifice.

All those values she had upheld and followed as a warrior throughout her life collapsed in an instant that day, leaving Silvia with only a bizarre obsession for Ash.

Silvia’s unstable mind hadn’t improved because of Ash; it had merely redirected its focus toward him.

That’s why Silvia seduced Ash.

Shamelessly.

To alleviate the pain of confronting her own disgusting hypocrisy and desire, she brazenly flirted with Ash.

The sweet fantasy of being with Ash was the only happiness Silvia had left.

And surprisingly,

Ash granted her that sweet fantasy.

In truth, Ash at that time was terrified and confused after witnessing the violent murder he had committed under the curse.

Silvia couldn’t deny that this confusion and fear were the main reasons why he fell helplessly for her seduction.

The guilt that couldn’t be erased no matter how hard she tried.

Even amidst the ecstatic feelings and hot passion spreading throughout her body during their lovemaking, that cool, sharp pang of conscience remained until the end, mercilessly stabbing at Silvia’s conscience.

But, the lovely Ash, remarkably, eventually erased even those sharp thorns that had grown in Silvia’s heart.

‘I… like you.’

The moment those clear words of affection toward her escaped from Ash’s lips, despite his confusion and fear, Silvia stopped caring about everything else.

A bad woman? Fine, call me a bitch.

A hypocrite? I can accept that.

A coward? I was that even before meeting Ash.

Unworthy of being a warrior? Fine, I don’t need to be a warrior anymore.

As the world knew it, the warrior Silvia died alongside the evil Demon King in his castle where Maria had died.

All that remained was a woman with cowardly and base desires who loved a boy named Ash so much that she made him commit a terrible murder.

That’s how Silvia defined herself.

As long as Ash stayed by her side, that was enough.

But…

“…I’m sorry.”

“No… you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Why not…”

The problem was that Ash knew nothing about any of this.

That Silvia already knew he was Maria’s brother,

That the murder Ash committed because of the curse was actually a result of Silvia’s manipulation,

Even the fact that Maria sacrificed herself to protect Silvia,

“I have… so much to apologize to you for.”

Silvia pulled Ash’s head to her bosom, embracing him as if burying him in her chest, as he tried to comfort her without knowing anything.

It wasn’t because she wanted to hug him.

It was because she couldn’t bear his affectionate gaze upon her, and she couldn’t bear that pitiful voice trying to comfort her.

Suddenly, Maria’s last words buzzed in Silvia’s ears.

‘Mother.’

In the moment of her slow death in the Demon King’s cruel grasp, she had been thinking of her family.

And Ash was Maria’s only remaining family member.

While Ash couldn’t see, Silvia bit her lip hard and pressed her forehead against the crown of his head.

Guilt pressed down on her head so heavily that she couldn’t lift it.

Guilt that whirled through Silvia’s mind like a sharp blade.

Disgusted by her own selfishness, Silvia could perfectly understand Ash’s intentions through her sharp self-reproach.

The past Ash had been considerate out of concern for the pain Silvia would feel,

And the present Ash, determined to comfort that pain for the rest of his life, bravely confessed all the truth to Silvia.

His consideration, kindness, courage.

And his love, so pure and immense.

That overwhelming weight pressed down on the back of Silvia’s head.

Silvia had neither the consideration to think of others like Ash, nor the courage to reveal everything.

Just ugly obsession and possessiveness.

A desperate struggle to never be lonely again.

And only the base desire to possess the other.

She truly realized the magnitude of Ash as a person.

She truly realized how insignificant a person she was.

*

The two returned to the cabin holding hands.

Ash’s footsteps headed toward the kitchen with such familiarity that it felt natural, almost expected.

“We still have some meat… Ah, there’s venison. Good. Wait just a bit, and I’ll make something delicious for you.”

Ash washed his hands, which were covered in stone dust, with a broad smile.

His eyes, still slightly moist, were curved like crescent moons.

She hadn’t thought about it before, but he seemed so happy and grateful that Silvia had prepared a coffin for him in advance.

Silvia nodded, averting her eyes from that dazzling smile.

Honestly, her intention in making that coffin was far from pure.

It was by no means a gift filled with mourning for Laila or comfort for Ash.

‘Now, let’s properly send Laila off’

Just as she had said when showing him the coffin she made,

Silvia wanted Ash to no longer have regrets or sadness about Laila.

More precisely, she wanted him to stop caring about Laila.

Look only at me, just at me.

I want Ash to think only of me.

It was a gift steeped in such sordid desire.

Silvia covered her face with both hands as if trying to hide her disgusting true face, then slowly dragged them down.

“What’s wrong?”

“…”

“Are you still worried about it?”

“Stop…”

“…Sister Maria was a hero. Just like you, Silvia. Pitying her would be disrespecting her sacrifice…”

“Ash.”

“…”

Silvia cut off Ash’s words harshly.

Surprised by her firm and rough attitude, Ash stopped speaking, swallowed, and slowly looked at Silvia.

Then, as if realizing something, he slowly nodded.

“…I’m sorry. I was insensitive.”

“…No, no. That’s not it.”

“She may be my sister, but she was your friend and comrade… It’s natural that it’s painful to remember,”

“Ah… no, that’s not…”

While it wasn’t untrue,

Certainly, the memory of Maria’s end was so sad and painful that just recalling it was depressing enough,

But the reason she found it difficult to hear Ash’s words now wasn’t simply that.

It was because her own corrupted self felt so disgusting and filthy compared to the kind and pure Ash that it was unbearable.

“I…”

“…?”

“Yes… Someday I’ll tell you the whole story, so… for now…”

“…Okay,”

Silvia trembled, clenching her fists tightly under the table.

The nails at her fingertips dug into her palms enough to draw blood.

She stared blankly at the drops of blood falling to the floor and opened her mouth.

“…It can’t be helped.”

“…Pardon?”

“Ash.”

“What’s wrong…?”

Silvia asked without raising her head.

“…Do you love me?”

“…”

Ash chuckled.

“How could I not love someone as wonderful as you, Silvia?”

“…”

A blindingly beautiful dissonance brushed past her ears.

Silvia let out a helpless laugh without realizing it.

“I can’t help but love you, Ash.”

.