Ch.68Lovers, Yet Not Lovers (6)

Surprisingly, Irene wasn’t a good dancer.

Perhaps wielding a sword and dancing were completely different skills. Every time she stepped on my foot with her heel, she smiled awkwardly. Soon, her face turned bright red, and she lowered her head with tightly sealed lips.

“…I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You can apply medicine to it later.”

One step, then another. As we carefully moved to the rhythm of the music, Irene’s face gradually relaxed as she followed my lead, and she spoke up. She seemed displeased about something. Despite our naturally flowing dance, her voice was quite curt.

“You dance well.”

“I’ve practiced.”

“I suppose Lize taught you well?”

“I learned for quite a while.”

The moment Lize’s name came up, I knew why she was asking, but I pretended not to notice and simply nodded in response.

Irene’s frown appeared so suddenly that I smiled at her glaring eyes and spoke.

“What’s bothering you?”

“…Never mind.”

She could just honestly say that she didn’t like that I learned dancing from Lize. In truth, I had only learned from Lize once. Even then, I merely followed the movements briefly due to some uneasiness. But I didn’t bother mentioning that. I rather enjoyed seeing her look insecure.

However, her continued reluctance to be honest sparked my playfulness, and I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to me.

“Y-you’re too close.”

“This is dancing.”

Actually, none of the dance moves I’d learned included anything like this, but I deliberately moved slowly at a distance close enough for our chests to touch. We moved with steps slow enough to feel each other’s breath completely.

I felt a slight trembling in the hand that embraced her back. More precisely, it was the beating of her heart—Irene’s heart pounding as if it might burst at any moment—which made me chuckle. Eventually, she pushed my chest slightly and turned her head away.

“M-move away. You’re too close.”

“I refuse.”

Even under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have listened to her, but now I had a very clear justification. Recalling what she had just said, I approached her ear and carefully whispered.

“Right now, I’m not your knight guard.”

At those words, Irene’s ears turned bright red as she stared at me with slightly parted lips. She had just asked me to call her by name, yet now she was being so shy. Perhaps it was a moment of courage? But I only had this moment to tease her, so I added:

“Irene.”

Her body flinched at that. It was just calling her name, yet her strong reaction made me laugh.

“Are you embarrassed?”

“…Stop calling my name now.”

“Didn’t you specifically ask me to call you by your name?”

I remembered it clearly, yet she was now denying it. Did she think I would easily understand if she denied it now? Seeing that I wouldn’t change my attitude, Irene let out a small sigh and slightly parted her lips. Still in my arms, she covered her face with both hands and spoke with difficulty.

“Evan, I’m just… I’m embarrassed. Please… will you let go of me?”

I should probably stop now.

Though slightly disappointed, I was satisfied with seeing her so embarrassed. As I slowly removed my arm from her waist, Irene quickly stepped away from me and looked at me intently while rubbing her face. She seemed to be checking my expression, staring at my cheeks before slowly speaking.

“Evan seems unbothered.”

“That’s not true.”

I was just as embarrassed as she was. I simply didn’t show it as much—how could I not be affected in such a situation? The person I liked was so close to me. I felt a bit of regret. If I had been a little more assertive, perhaps I could have done what I couldn’t do before.

“That was nice. The dance.”

As the music finally ended, I said this, and she retorted curtly.

“It’s not the dance you enjoyed. You just liked doing what you wanted, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“How shameless.”

“So, did you dislike it?”

“……”

At that question, Irene’s eyes narrowed. She seemed to be contemplating how to answer, and I could read her inner conflict in her wavering eyes. Why was she overthinking something she could just honestly say she liked? But even this hesitation looked cute to me, so I moved closer to her side and placed my hand on the balcony railing.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

There would be plenty of opportunities to ask again, and we had more than enough time to be together like this. I thought it wouldn’t be bad for these moments to last a little longer. Like lovers, yet not quite lovers. This precarious distance might be the most enjoyable moment in falling in love.

This feeling, which I was experiencing for the first time in my life, was absolutely thrilling. I wondered if I could ever experience a greater pleasure than this.

The tingling sensation I felt whenever I looked at her was simply delightful. As I gripped the balcony railing, silence fell between us for a while. Irene glanced at me as if contemplating what to say, but I kept my gaze fixed on the empty space without meeting her eyes.

…I was a bit disappointed. I should have moved closer earlier, should have been a bit more insistent even if she had refused. But such forced progress wouldn’t naturally continue, would it? Both of us were experiencing these feelings for the first time. Perhaps it was better to prolong this sensation a little longer.

“What are you thinking about?”

“What do you think I’m thinking about?”

When I asked back, Irene came closer and tilted her head. As if wondering how she would know, I whispered quietly to her as she subtly pressed against my side.

“I was thinking about how to detach the person clinging to my side.”

“…I’m not clinging.”

“Then why are our shoulders touching?”

I asked, amused by how she was standing right next to me on this spacious balcony. Irene shrugged nonchalantly and looked ahead. She didn’t seem inclined to answer, brazenly pretending to be indifferent, which made me think of something.

The seal ring on her slender finger—wasn’t it a symbol that she was acting with the authority of the Duke in his absence? Was it alright for Irene to be here? She had followed me so naturally that I hadn’t thought about it, and now I felt concerned. She must have had countless matters to attend to.

Though I was sure she had handled everything well, I couldn’t help but worry. As I stared at her, Irene noticed my gaze and looked up at me.

“Do you have something to say?”

“Is it really alright for you to be here? You must have a mountain of work to do.”

“Ah, that’s fine.”

As if she had anticipated my question, she casually continued. She proudly explained that during the three days I was gone, she had stayed up all night processing all the documents. I bit my lip to suppress a sigh as I examined the area around her eyes. Had she not rested even after meeting me? I distinctly remembered seeing her desk piled high with documents, and the thought that she had processed all of them made me sigh softly.

“…You shouldn’t overexert yourself. What if you collapse again?”

“I’m fine. I’ll rest a bit when I get back.”

“You came here because of me.”

“Don’t say that. I didn’t follow you to hear such things.”

Another hand touched mine on the railing. I looked at the touch, which now felt natural, and remained quiet as I observed her eyes, which were more subdued than before. Talking about it further would only backfire. I had much to say but held back. I wanted to express my concern but deliberately didn’t show it.

I simply gently stroked the small hand covering the back of mine. It was a delicate hand. So smooth that my fingers glided effortlessly across its soft skin. I wondered how she managed to review countless documents with these small hands. I remembered that she was only 19 years old—still too young to bear so much.

If I, at 25 years old, found it so difficult, how could someone who had nearly experienced the loss of parents twice at just 19 be truly alright? But not wanting to continue with the somber mood, I cut off what I was about to say and changed the subject.

“Do you remember what I said yesterday?”

“What you said yesterday…”

“About the festival. The seasonal festival that’s coming up soon.”

The festival held once each season—spring, summer, autumn, and winter. It would be held in about two weeks, and if all went well, the Duke might be able to attend after recovering.

Three days—Azest had said that after the curse ended, the Duke’s body would recover as if cleansed. If his words were true, attending the festival should be possible.

“The seasonal festival.”

“It’s only a few days away.”

The summer seasonal festival was somewhat special. Though it lasted only one day, it was celebrated more passionately than any other seasonal festival, befitting the summer season. The splendor of that single day rivaled the Founding Festival, making it perfect to enjoy with her. She didn’t seem to dislike the idea, showing no negative reaction to the mention of the seasonal festival.

And the most important part of the seasonal festival was… surely “that event” held at night. I smiled slightly at the thought of seeing another side of Irene then. It wouldn’t be bad for time to pass a bit more quickly. To enjoy the festival as time went by. For the matter with the Romanga family to end quickly, and for everyone to remain unharmed…

If Irene could live safely even if the original female protagonist appeared, that would be the ending I desired. Of course, I intended to remain by her side even after that ending. At some point, I had stopped thinking about returning to my original world and had ceased looking for a way back.

“Shall we head back now?”

Irene broke the long silence. The banquet seemed to have ended, as nobles could be seen leaving the imperial palace below. Though we had received permission from the Crown Prince, I felt somewhat guilty for not showing our faces until the end of the banquet. I knew he was very understanding about our situation.

Perhaps he already knew how we felt about each other. Well, we had never tried to hide anything from him, so maybe it was only natural. As we moved away from the balcony and were about to return to the banquet hall—

“…Ah.”

*Thud*

I quickly caught Irene as she suddenly staggered and nearly fell. Fortunately, she hadn’t lost consciousness and quickly regained her balance, but she seemed a bit dizzy as she held her head and narrowed her eyes.

“Thank you… I suddenly felt dizzy.”

“You’ve been overexerting yourself.”

Only then could I see the fatigue in her eyes. She had barely slept for three days, and even until this morning. The accumulated fatigue must have hit her all at once. Perhaps we should have responded to the Crown Prince’s invitation a bit later. I regretted thinking about finishing everything quickly to rest, and my mouth felt bitter as I looked at her.

“You should rest as soon as we get back. It seems like accumulated fatigue.”

“…That’s what I plan to do. I’ll just check tomorrow’s tasks and make plans for when Father wakes up, then immediately—”

“My lady.”

I frowned slightly. Seeing her still intent on doing something without rest, I slowly spoke in a reproachful tone.

“You need to rest.”

“I’m fine, I just felt dizzy for a moment… ugh.”

As she refused to listen, I was about to scold her but instead sighed and pulled her into an embrace. If she wouldn’t listen to words, perhaps action would be the right punishment. Whether this would actually be a punishment for her was uncertain, but it would surely make her listen to me.

Her trembling hair touched my hand. To ensure she wasn’t hurt, I guided her head to rest against my chest, and a gasping sound came from within my arms. She seemed quite startled and began struggling to escape my embrace.

“L-let go. What are you doing so suddenly?”

“My lady.”

I gently stroked her hair. I had no intention of letting go until she answered, so I didn’t particularly care whether her face turned red or if she heard my racing heart. I vaguely understood why she was acting this way, so I quietly spoke.

“It’s alright to rest. No one will say anything.”

It’s already heavy enough to care about just a few people I hold dear, so how heavy must her shoulders be, bearing the responsibility for hundreds of thousands of people? Despite knowing she needed rest, she was pushing herself likely because of the responsibility she felt. But she was doing more than enough.

At the unbelievable age of 19, no one could handle everything so admirably at that age. Therefore, she deserved to rest. If she put everything down for a moment and closed her eyes in peace, no one would dare criticize her. Slowly, helping her release the tension that had built up.

I patted her back. I stroked her hair, gently embracing her.

“You’ve done well. I should have told you this earlier, but I think I’m too late.”

At those words, Irene’s struggling suddenly stopped. The strength in her hands gripping my arms gradually faded, and as she fully surrendered to my embrace, she looked up and met my gaze.

“Are you still planning to do something when we get back?”

As I spoke in a deliberately low voice, Irene shook her head slightly. It seemed my approach was indeed the most effective. I couldn’t help but feel proud that someone as stubborn as her was being so docile. I smiled faintly, and when she met my eyes, she quickly lowered her head, bumping it against my chest.

*Thump*

The ticklish sensation made me chuckle, and then I extended my hand to Irene and slowly spoke.

“I’ll hold your hand. I’m worried you might fall again.”

“I won’t fall.”

“So, do you dislike it?”

At that, Irene frowned slightly before eventually laughing helplessly and taking my hand.

“…I do like it.”

Looking at her finally answering honestly, I responded with a smile of my own.