Ch.6666. Festival (5)

Coming to ask a question out of the blue… it was a bit bewildering.

‘She seems desperate about something.’

Sadly, it looks like she has some complicated situation.

I should at least ask what she wants to know.

“What do you mean by asking me something?”

“Something happened… and I’m not sure if I’m acting correctly, or how the other person might take it. I’d like to borrow your wisdom on this matter.”

“Hmm…”

I worried for nothing.

I was preparing to dodge any nasty questions about where I learned my theories by vaguely mentioning the Academy.

It seems to be a personal matter, which makes me a bit hesitant.

Still, when someone helps you, shouldn’t you return the favor? Besides, I doubt she’ll ask anything too troublesome.

So I decided to accept readily.

“Go ahead and tell me. If my perspective can help, I should gladly provide it.”

Guard 181 seemed not to have expected my acceptance. She hesitated briefly, pondering for a moment before finally speaking.

Her story was complicated. Though a personal matter, it was tangled enough to be called a serious mess.

***

What path did she ultimately follow, having judged someone wrongly based on prejudice and preconceptions layered onto an illusory version of him in her memories?

She had committed a wrong.

She had acted without properly examining cause and effect, without thinking things through. The wrong she committed was the price for that.

And she had incurred a debt.

By letting emotions take precedence over proper action, she had incurred a debt that could not be erased.

With both a wrong committed and a debt incurred, she needed to both apologize and ask for forgiveness.

But she couldn’t do it.

Though her mind thought this way, her body couldn’t follow through.

He didn’t want it. Neither meeting nor conversation.

She had struggled in agony and received help from those around her, but wasn’t sure if this was the right path.

So for her, who had made a wrong judgment based on prejudice and preconceptions, this was her last chance.

Not as someone who had committed a wrong and incurred a debt, but as Guard 181—a chance to hear his true feelings.

She swallowed hard and watched Porter 229 with somewhat desperate eyes.

‘This is difficult.’

After hearing her story, Junon found it hard to give a hasty answer.

It should have been a simple matter. Something that could be concluded with just a word of encouragement.

The reason he couldn’t readily answer was because, somehow, he saw himself reflected in it.

With a heavy heart, he began to speak.

“I… believe that regardless of the situation, people who make an effort will eventually be rewarded.”

Guard 181’s wandering eyes suddenly lit up.

“I was once on the verge of giving up too. No matter how hard I tried, I was told I was just a hindrance, falling behind and getting in the way, a burden.”

“Ah…”

“So I thought those people would end up hating me. But in reality, that wasn’t the case.”

He seemed to be speaking from personal experience.

Could this too be part of those memories that I don’t possess?

No. There was no time to dwell on that.

“Earlier, you said you committed a grave wrong against someone? And that the person must despise you terribly because of it?”

“…Yes.”

“That’s absolutely not the case.”

How could he be so certain it wasn’t so?

As if to explain why, he slowly walked to the spot where they had built a fire in the ravine and, looking at the burnt firewood, said:

“Here. Do you remember when others rushed over while we were building a fire at this spot and berated us for warming ourselves by the fire while they were struggling?”

“I know. I saw it myself…”

She nodded in response.

Even after explaining the plan, those who did nothing were quite displeased, and they repeatedly changed the situation.

There were a few who remained skeptical until the end, but at that time, no mediator was needed.

“It may have looked like we were just warming ourselves, but in reality, we were keeping the meat warm for everyone. We were making sure it didn’t burn and was cooked just right, which is why it appeared that way.”

“I know that already…”

She couldn’t quite grasp why he was bringing this up now.

“It’s the same reason. Even if you wronged someone, why did you conclude that person must hate you? Did they actually say anything like that? Or did they openly scold or blame you?”

“That’s…”

No, they hadn’t.

She had said she spat out words she’d been holding in, but that wasn’t the case.

They had only said not to approach or pretend to know them because they didn’t know what they might do.

There were no curses, and rather than scolding, they had simply vented frustrations that had been simmering inside. They certainly hadn’t blamed her.

‘So that’s…’

Now she understood his meaning.

“If the other person truly disliked you, there would have been at least some small sign. They might have deliberately interfered or tried to cause discord, and in severe cases, they might even seek revenge. In extreme cases… they would use any means necessary.”

There had been no plausible signs, and though they had vented their anger, they hadn’t completely revealed their inner feelings.

They hadn’t even attempted to cause discord, so there was no reason to mention it, and if they had wanted revenge, they would have taken it long ago.

So don’t make excessive assumptions.

That was the message that came across.

“You said you regret your actions but can’t meet to apologize. And that due to heavy guilt, even facing them is difficult. So you asked if helping them indirectly after receiving advice from others is the right thing to do…”

As he spoke, he inexplicably grabbed a handful of sand from the spot where the fire had once blazed.

Then, he let the sand fall.

“I don’t think it’s wrong at all. The fact that you’re helping indirectly, even if the person doesn’t know it, remains unchanged regardless of what anyone says. Just like the embers that were here.”

With a soft sound, the embers extinguish.

He covered the small ember—the only remaining warmth in the charred firewood—with sand as he added those words.

The ember soon lost its light and was completely covered by a handful of sand.

The flame may seem to have disappeared into an ember, but there was a flame in this place.

Though it no longer burns as it did then, no one would deny it. That there was a flame here that gave off warmth with all its might to ward off their cold.

Why did he cover the ember directly while saying such things at this spot?

Now she seemed to understand.

The fact that a flame once blazed here, keeping away their cold, is an undeniable truth that won’t disappear.

Something began to well up inside her.

“They may not know it now, but someday they’ll understand. Your efforts to help them, rising up instead of succumbing to guilt.”

At his words that they would understand someday, something swelled in her chest.

That swelling thing floated up, climbing slowly through her upper body. It gradually became heavier.

With each step of its ascent, it slowly grew, eventually reaching a certain place, and then burst forth, creating a stream.

“No, this wasn’t my intention…”

After brushing the sand off his hands and standing up, he silently gave her a sympathetic look.

It was already too late to hide the tears that were streaming down her face, making it glisten.

‘Why won’t they stop…’

She wished they would stop flowing.

It’s her own body, but why did her tear ducts, which kept producing streams of tears without understanding her inner feelings, feel so resentful right now?

No matter how much she wiped them, the tears continued to flow relentlessly.

“…As much as those tears, I suppose.”

“What? What do you mean…”

“I mean your guilt must have been as great as the tears you’re shedding, and your efforts to be forgiven must have been just as great.”

“…”

At his words, she no longer had the composure to even wipe her tears.

Mindful that if she made a sound she would be discovered, she was busy covering her mouth and stifling her sobs.

“Stay strong.”

Saying that, he stepped aside. As if to say she could now cry freely.

How… could she hold this back?

“Hic… hnnng…!”

Her guilt, which she had been suppressing, began to burst forth as sound.

Unable to hold back any longer, wanting to cry now, she wept aloud.

Praying only that this sound wouldn’t reach him as he left the ravine.

Aris could only release her emotions—emotions she couldn’t suppress no matter how hard she tried—through tears and voice.

Bang-!

As if sensing her desperate wish.

A firework that had failed to go off earlier finally exploded, drowning out the sound of Aris crying in the ravine.

Today was the first day of the festival.

It was also the day a lotus flower, withering from guilt, regained its form.

***

“Maybe it felt like it wasn’t someone else’s problem. I think I might have talked too much.”

I was like that before my regression too.

In a party boasting an impressive lineup, I was busy trying to keep up as I watched each member’s abilities reach incomparable heights.

I gave my all in a bloody effort not to hold them back.

Did people acknowledge that? No.

The attention of those around was focused only on the other party members; nothing came back to me.

Rather, I only heard harsh words telling me to know my place and volunteer to leave the party instead of holding them back.

Yes, there was a time when I too was about to give up, thinking no one would recognize my efforts.

But I was able to overcome it.

-‘How could I not notice the faint lines of magic visible every night, you fool.’

-‘You don’t have to listen to what others say, Junon. Though I regret I can’t help you…’

-‘As the party leader, I know best that you’re growing. Some of the others probably sense it too, right? That’s why they don’t say anything.’

When I was driven to the edge and about to give up.

When I said I would leave because I might hold the party members back.

It was because there were people who acknowledged my efforts.

They answered that they couldn’t even offer empty words of encouragement or tell me not to give up, and that they couldn’t approach me rashly because I might get hurt by the gazes of others.

In the end, the party members acknowledged the small change I had created with blood and sweat, the fruit of my efforts.

I used that experience to advise Guard 181.

While wondering if I was being too meddlesome, those old memories surfaced, and somehow my heart was moved.

“If it helped, then that’s good. Anyway, I hope it works out well.”

Let’s just hope for the best.

At least the merchant group was rescued by people who arrived from the Academy, and the festival seemed like it would proceed without incident.

“Ugh. I’m tired.”

I must have used my body too much, moving so many loads and then escaping from the ravine.

My whole body is making cracking sounds.

“This is overtime work. Shouldn’t I get extra pay for this?”

Complaining like that, I changed back into my school uniform and arrived at the Academy, where the sound of fireworks was announcing the start of the festival.

Bang-! Pop-bang-!

The voices of students filled the evening, and the darkness was brightly lit by the night market and the Academy’s lights.

“…I’m alone for this festival.”

The festival held as an annual event.

This festival, which coincided with the day we were recognized as an official team, was quite meaningful to us.

Normally, around this time, even if we couldn’t enjoy the festival, I would have at least strolled through the night market with those guys.

…Lonely as it was, I was alone today.

Well, I got paid, so I might as well use it to buy something delicious. I worked hard today, so I should at least satisfy my stomach.

Just as I was about to head toward the night market.

“Senior Junooooon!!”

With silver hair flowing, a girl came running like a rabbit.