# Clip Start

<This video contains paid advertising>

<Warning: Profanity / Spelling errors / Lack of skill / No backseat gaming / No blaming others>

Hello, hello everyone! This is SimaeFalcon, SimaeFalcon! Now, today! I’ll be playing a game that’s heavily promoted by the big corporation Overeating Games, but for some reason isn’t doing well. It’s s$rvant2! Let’s give it a try. Oh, when it comes to resuscitating dead games, I’m your man, SimaeFalcon! The streamer recognized by big corporations – want a taste?

– SimaeFalcon special: Dies pathetically whenever he gets homework assignments lol

– Just thinking about having to act over-the-top makes me dizzy

– Just play what you usually play instead of this weird stuff, how much did they pay you?

– This guy will definitely rage quit saying “this is so boring” in two hours lololol

Hey, why are you all being so negative from the start? And over-the-top acting? What’s wrong with that?

Think about baseball, baseball, huh? Everyone, there’s something called momentum. Momentum. You know what I mean? Even when a team is about to lose, if the fans cheer hard, clap, and blow horns, the energy rises up!

What the cheerleaders and the cheer captain do is basically over-the-top acting, right? But when people clap and cheer, at some point that over-the-top energy becomes genuine energy!

– But you don’t even watch baseball

Listen, kid, it’s just a figure of speech! Don’t you understand metaphors? And who says I don’t watch baseball? I watch cheerleaders all the time. Cheerleading is part of baseball, part of it.

– Hey, stop rambling and when are you going to start?

– SimaeFalcon sermon mode activated

– Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

– Info: According to himself, he got beaten up for skipping school to play games

Ah, thank you ‘I’llSendAnotherDollarIfYouStopThis’ for the $1 donation. But I can’t stop now. I’ve already come this far. I’ve already come this far.

Alright, let’s check Steam. Let’s see… the reviews are mixed. Oh, it’s climbed up from overwhelmingly negative. That’s pretty good.

Huh? What’s this? Over 35,000 cumulative reviews? Oh, everyone. Everyone. I’ve got a feeling about this. This game is going to take off. I guarantee it.

– Crypto~~~scam~~~

What scam? It’s going up! It’s climbed from -75% to -30%, you just need to hold onto it! If you hold, it’ll go up!

Anyway! I guarantee this will take off. The fact that there are so many reviews means people care about it. They care. Games that truly fail either have no reviews or are completely destroyed.

Look at this. You guys never watch ads even when told to. You won’t even watch something that requires zero effort, but here, people actually care enough to review. They care.

Do you know how annoying it is to write a review? “Did you like it?” You have to choose yes or no. “Why did you like it?” You have to write “just because.” Then when you click confirm, it asks “Are you sure you want to submit?” It’s a three-step process that’s really bothersome.

I can smell it. This has the smell of a masterpiece. If someone just opens the lid properly, it’ll shoot up. I’ll do that for you. Do you trust me, guys?

– Please don’t try sales anywhere, it’s so obvious

– If you earned that much money, at least take some acting classes

– Epic shield-throwing lol

– Hey, the reason this game failed is because no one has beaten it yet?

Oh. Everyone. Everyone. Did you see that important information? The reason this game gets hate is because no one has beaten it yet.

It’s not impossible to beat, but no one has done it. Doesn’t that give you that heart-pounding excitement of climbing an unconquerable mountain?

– No, that’s cardiovascular disease~

# Character Creation

Alright. Anyway. Game introduction.

[You find yourself entangled in a strange incident in 1929 Prohibition-era America. You don’t know what will happen, but it might be very dangerous and sometimes heartbreaking. How far are you willing to go to achieve what you want?]

Ah. This is not a good intro. This is… it’s blatantly saying they’re going to mess with you, and the problem with that is it gives the game company justification to do all sorts of terrible things.

Then later when you say the game sucks, they can say “I warned you” and get away with it. I should give them feedback on this.

Let’s get in. There’s a lot here. I’ll just go with random since it’s annoying. Random. Wait, what? Is this a game where save-scumming doesn’t work? Hardcore mode is the default. Once you make a choice, you can’t go back. Well, let’s give it a try.

So, I roll the dice once, twice, three times… Oh my. What’s this? A Black youth. His name is James Chiddle.

Oh. He’s a military veteran, good at fighting, good with guns, and good at sailing. He’s married too! But what’s the problem? Ah. His wife is a traveling salesperson, and they haven’t heard from her father.

What’s this? Didn’t Americans in this era have formal meetings with in-laws and such? Wow, that’s bold – the couple just got married without hesitation, I like it.

Ah, here’s the reason. His father-in-law is quite a free spirit who travels around America doing various jobs, but he joined a vigilante group on Pollard Island and hasn’t been in contact since.

So I need to go to Pollard Island to find my father-in-law. Good. Good. I understand. Doesn’t seem too difficult.

# After Video Intro Plays

(Silence)

Uh. This is dragging on a bit too much.

Ah. This isn’t a very good intro, in my opinion. The intro already reveals all the answers. It just builds unnecessary emotional tension, and the culprits are clearly the vigilantes. So I just need to take down the vigilantes, right?

Hey. The person who sent that donation earlier, is it really true no one has beaten this game? It gives away the answer from the start. That’s strange.

# 30 Minutes Into Gameplay

No… there’s nothing I can do. The town hall says they can’t provide information, and the police say it’s vigilante business so they can’t help.

Even asking random people on the street gets me nowhere. Ah! Everyone, what if I try this?

What if I join the vigilantes? Then I can gather inside information. This game is supposed to have high freedom, so let’s try it. Oh. It works. It works.

# Final Vigilante Interview

Why is the mayor personally conducting interviews for what’s basically a neighborhood watch? He must really love this island.

But the questions are a bit odd? “Do you know anyone on this island?” No, I should choose that. Hey, when they tell you to show your true self in an interview, they don’t mean saying “I actually don’t want to work for this company.” Being your true self means they don’t want you to be robotic, but they do want you to be sensible. “Do you have a place to stay?” No.

Accepted! See? I got accepted right away. You have to understand the examiner’s intentions. It’s obvious they want someone who doesn’t know anyone on the island and has nothing else to do.

If I told them my father-in-law is a missing vigilante and I’m looking for him, that would be feeding the mayor. If a vigilante gets kidnapped and they can’t solve it, that’s insulting to the vigilantes.

It’s like being asked “Why did you apply to our company?” and answering “Your company tanked its profits last year, so I’m here to turn things around.” That kind of vibe.

# During Repetitive Vigilante Quests

No. What… what is this? They tell me to patrol, so I keep patrolling, I do everything they ask properly, but there are no clues. And what’s this whaling thing about?

Hey guys. Any chance you could give me some hints? You’re all usually so eager to criticize me, but today you’re all quiet?

What? You can’t give hints because the quests and character settings change every time? It sounds like a great game in theory, but at this rate I’m just going to keep patrolling until the end.

– Try finding Detective Crayfield, they say? He’s the protagonist from the previous game and an NPC for beginners.

Oh really? Where is he? The newspaper ads? Oh, here he is. A detective specializing in infidelity cases? Should I hire him saying I suspect my father-in-law is having an affair? Gorde Street 22? Got it. Got it.

# After Meeting Crayfield and Catherine Scully

Hey. This Crayfield guy is nice. When I showed him my tattoo, he recognized I was military and gave me a discount. The fee is $1 per day, how much is that now? About 1,200 won?

I really like this guy. Oh. There’s… a federal agent. A woman. But… a bit disappointing.

Ah. This, this isn’t right, everyone. Slender is fine. But short hair and glasses? You really don’t get it. Glasses should always be removed first to enhance beauty. And short hair? Not my type.

Her face is pretty, but she’s exactly the type who would have been a good student in school. That model student type. Ah, I’m not interested. Not interested.

What? I’ve forgotten about my wife and I’m already thinking about other women? My wife is in Boston. This is Pollard Island. Wasn’t polygamy a thing in America back then?

# After Meeting Aurora Savio at the White Hand Mafia Warehouse

Oh, we’re going somewhere. A mafia warehouse? Oh… OH! Oh. A lady has appeared. Yes. This is it. Can you see, everyone? But she looks familiar?

Ah, this is like that League of whatever, the twin pistol lady and what’s that other one? The ADC who uses both knife and gun? She’s like a mix of those two.

Wow. Look at those long legs. Her butt is at the height of other people’s waists. Wow, her chest is like… wow such… Ah. Everyone. I apologize. I was short-sighted. What does the game company know?

Uh. Huh? Huh? Are you not on good terms with this model student lady? Wait a minute! Why is the language so harsh… what did you say you’d do to my mouth?

No! Stop! Stop! Why is the language so… Edit! Edit! Cut! Cut! No! This isn’t allowed! Minors out! Everyone out!

(Microphone turned off)

(Screen goes dark – “Broadcast Preparing” screen appears)

Oh geez, that scared me. Really. I’m sorry, everyone. I’m sorry. That was shocking… I wonder if this clip can be aired. Probably not.

These crazy bastards, what kind of language… Ah. But I got one clue. The vigilantes blocked the alley and took away the Irish people and my father-in-law? What’s this? That’s exactly the same as what was shown in the intro. So what am I supposed to do then?

# Back to Repetitive Vigilante Quests

No. Hey everyone. Really. Ah. How do I do this? How long has the broadcast been going? Three hours? It’s been three hours? But why haven’t I made any progress?

The current situation is… I keep patrolling as instructed. It’s confirmed that the vigilantes took my father-in-law, but I don’t know why they took him or where he is now.

There are no clues. I feel like there might be hints somewhere, but I can’t figure it out. What is it? What should I do? Please give me some hints. This is so frustrating. I should go find Crayfield again.

But if I don’t patrol, I’ll be kicked off the island. Then what do I do? I’d have nowhere to go. I need to find clues. But the clues are at the town hall. To enter the town hall, you need to be a high-ranking official. So should I work hard and get promoted to solve this?

My roommates? They don’t know anything. There’s no predecessor either. There’s no one left who worked with my father-in-law. This is so frustrating. Really…

# When Offered Overtime by the Squad Leader, After Visiting Crayfield and Catherine Scully

Ah everyone. Hard work pays off. Our squad leader asked me to work overtime. It’s in the downtown area and there’s special compensation.

I should do this. I need to brag to Crayfield. That’s how I’ll get promoted. If I work diligently, gain favor, and get promoted quickly, everything will work out. You have to believe in human goodness.

What? Kidnapping? That they’re trying to kidnap me? Why? This game is ridiculous. How does this guy know that? And how do you all know it? Am I just oblivious?

Ah. Ah. Everyone. I’m overloaded right now. Brain freeze. Just a moment. Ah. I really can’t figure this out. I must be an idiot.

I should just follow what Crayfield and the model student lady say. If I get kidnapped and taken somewhere, these friends will rescue me.

Honestly, the NPCs seem more capable than me, so can’t I just tag along? You call that leeching? Then you try it if you’re so smart… My head is already killing me.

# After Meeting Professor Henry Armitage

Ah. This old man is one of those exposition dumps who says “Listen to me for a moment” and then goes on and on.

Oh, this game apparently adjusts the surrounding responses and difficulty based on player actions. Hey! All your advice was garbage then! I shouldn’t be taking hints from you, but from Crayfield, the model student lady, and this exposition-dumping old man.

What? The game lowered the difficulty because I was struggling so much? Then isn’t this a godly game, everyone? There are no games that change variables in real-time like this. Fun? The fun is… no. In my opinion, this is divisive. You’re saying I’m thick-headed? Isn’t that a bit harsh?

Ancient gods? They took my father-in-law as a sacrifice to ancient gods? Why? Is he some special warrior or something? Ah, I see. It’s because my father-in-law was an outsider on this island.

Ah! I finally get it. Really. Why am I so smart? So that’s why they were trying to kidnap me? The reason they hired me was because I’m an outsider too, so no one would notice if I disappeared? So the mayor betrayed me? Ah, I really don’t like this kind of thing.

No. Guys. Was I really betrayed? Damn it, do I have to be betrayed even in games? That’s kind of upsetting, you know? Huh? I’m getting angry!

# Being Kidnapped and Dragged to 13th Avenue

Huh? Huh? The squad leader hit me? Crayfield! Model student lady! Exposition-dumping old man! Where are you all? Hey, I’m being dragged away?

Hey! Hey! What is this! No, the eyeballs… what are they doing! I think I’m going to throw up, what is that pyramid, pyramid thing! This is gore, extreme gore, I can’t handle this kind of thing, it’s coming out of nowhere and it’s really not my style…

Ah! Ah! What the hell is that! It hurts! It hurts! Crayfield! Crayfield, save me! Hey! Did you see that? Did you see that? The building is eating people! The building is chewing and eating people! This is insane! Completely insane! They’re treating people like ketchup-covered fries… Fuck, don’t eat that, fuck, that’s disgusting.

What is this? Wasn’t I supposed to be finding my father-in-law? Why the sudden gore! Really! Ah everyone. Everyone. I really can’t do this anymore. It’s disgusting, really. No, ah.

# After Slamming the Keyboard

Did I do something wrong? They told me to patrol. So I patrolled. They said I needed to get promoted to enter the town hall. So I tried to work hard, but they backstabbed me.

And then what they show me is fucking extreme gore. Fuck, really. Ah… this is why you shouldn’t play complex games.

I’m not playing this anymore, you fucking bastards, calling this a game, starting with emotional manipulation and then taking a sharp turn into gore, fuck this!

(Gets up from chair)

(Chat frozen)

(Broadcast ends)

Notice

(Wearing formal attire)

Hello. I am internet game broadcaster SimaeFalcon. (Bows)

I had a promotional contract for a game distributed by Overeating Games on the ‘Steam’ platform. I was supposed to either win the game, broadcast for a certain amount of time, or try to create a positive image of the game, but I failed to do so. (Bows in apology)

I sincerely apologize to the advertisers who were harmed by my inappropriate words and actions, to the viewers who love my broadcasts, and to all platform officials. (Bows in apology)

It was all my fault. I’m sorry. I will take time for self-reflection. I will return as a more mature and personable individual.

I’m sorry.

(Clip ends)