Ch.59Report on the Downfall of Humility (7)

The hallway was quiet but too open for a private conversation. Looking for a suitable place, Lily spotted a door leading to the backyard at the opposite end of the corridor. She grabbed Kain’s sleeve and led him there.

The space was neither large nor small—just big enough to fit a carriage, but too awkward for most purposes.

The owners and servants had transformed this area into an elegant sculpture garden. Various animal, angel, and human figures ranged from fist-sized to knee-high, each unique in shape and size.

Ordinary lovers might have been captivated by examining each sculpture.

But Kain and Lily stood facing each other on the lawn with serious expressions, about four steps apart.

“So. What did you want to say?”

Perhaps because his cheek still stung from Maria’s slap, Kain’s tone was curt. Lily gazed at him silently before stepping forward and gently caressing both his cheeks.

“That must have hurt.”

Kain flinched and pulled his head back, but Lily didn’t let go. She lightly cradled the back of his neck with both hands, slowly tracing his cheeks with her thumbs. Gradually, she tilted toward his lips.

“I asked what you wanted to say.”

Her touch and gaze halted. Kain grew more uncomfortable. Lily responded by pressing her body closer. Now they were barely half a step apart—close enough that her chest nearly touched his with each breath.

“When you captured the rogue knight Goetz, you broke protocol and got him drunk. You said it was the only way for all of us to return safely. At the monastery, you charged in prepared to die. You claimed you wanted me to learn combat techniques by watching, but you were actually buying me time to escape.

In Magdeburg, though I was too drunk that night… you climbed over the wall without me. Without any discussion. Then you collapsed defenseless, leaving me to clean up. And just now, you took dangerous steps without consulting either me or Maria.”

Kain squeezed his eyelids shut as fatigue washed over him. He could guess what Lily was getting at.

All these instances were times he’d acted on his own, claiming it was to achieve their objectives. Not all of them, but many had left Lily feeling hurt as a side effect.

“Yes. I did.”

Lily smiled brightly and embraced him. Surprised by the unexpected movement, Kain tried to pull away, but Lily stepped forward and wouldn’t let go. Holding him tightly, she whispered in his ear.

“But I love that about you too.”

“What are you saying? And let go. This is uncomfortable…”

As soon as Kain complained, Lily pressed herself even closer against him. Her entire body seemed to say there was no escape.

“Sometimes I was angry. Often hurt, and occasionally heartbroken. But looking back, I know you were always trying to find the best solution. You always prioritize people’s lives and safety.

Though your decisions seem impulsive and spontaneous, I know they come after you’ve observed many things and thought deeply. That’s why I love it.”

“Alright, that’s enough now…”

“But why don’t you protect yourself?”

Lily kissed Kain’s forehead. His compressed heart beat heavily. He felt strength draining from his body.

Though hesitant, Kain gently embraced Lily’s back. He patted and stroked her back slowly, as if soothing a child.

“Thank you for worrying.”

“No. This is for me too,” Lily whispered softly.

“In Masada. In the night streets of Masada, the Shadow whispered to me. It said you actually find me annoying. That you still haven’t forgotten that woman, and that I could never even be her replacement…”

“No!” Startled, Kain tilted his head to look up at Lily. “You know by now that the Shadow twists and distorts minds. There’s no reason to listen.”

Part of him was furious. He never imagined Beatrice’s shadow that had flown toward Lily would whisper such things.

He knew Lily had been unusually anxious and frightened since that day, but he never suspected it was because of him.

“It whispered that you would leave me behind. And it kept showing me something. You, alone, bleeding and collapsed under a strangely twisted tree in the wasteland. Alone on cracked, parched ground…”

“Lily. That’s not true.”

“It said you would chase after that woman’s shadow.”

Lily exhaled painfully, as if trying to show her anguish.

“I know. I believe you. I know you won’t leave. But I keep getting scared. Every time you go out alone, every time you venture into dangerous places by yourself. Every time you leave me behind, I fear that delusion might actually become reality.”

“That won’t happen.”

“I heard what Arianne said. That you still see that woman’s shadow. That it’s imprinted and won’t go away.”

Kain was silent for a moment. From that silence, Lily seemed to hear all the answers she needed.

But as always, she neither gave up nor showed sadness.

Instead, she grabbed both sides of Kain’s head and pulled him in for a kiss.

She gave him no time to be surprised or flustered. When he retreated, she advanced; when he pushed away, she followed. She briefly pulled away to catch her breath, then wrapped one arm around his back and the other behind his head.

Kain raised his hand to stroke Lily’s cheek and ear. He no longer ran or avoided her. He simply accepted her.

Finally, Lily pulled her lips away. Though gasping for breath and trembling, she somehow continued speaking.

“You don’t need to protect me. You don’t need to worry about me getting hurt. I’m not a child, nor am I a trainee. I haven’t lived without getting hurt, nor without being hated. I don’t believe I’ll never experience those things again. But I want to choose where I get hurt and wounded. And I’ve decided.”

“Lily.”

“Accept me not as your subordinate but as your colleague. Just let me stand beside you, whenever, wherever. Even if I can’t… replace that woman. I’m confident I can protect you better than she did.”

To Kain, it sounded sufficiently presumptuous and overreaching.

How dare she… how dare she…

Yet his body was quietly embracing Lily, who trembled with excitement. She shook in his arms like a rain-soaked bird. Still, she tried to express herself with words. Tried to convey her feelings.

“Let me hurt with you. Let me get injured with you. So please, don’t abandon me. Don’t go alone. Please… don’t collapse alone in a desolate wasteland where no one can find you.”

“So that’s why you brought me out here. To avoid Maria branding you a heretic.”

A chuckle. A pleasant tremor. Though Lily’s body shook as if it might shatter from excitement and anticipation, her smile was radiant. It was the first bright smile he’d seen since they left the monastery.

“You’re a knight, a warrior, and an agent, not a prophet. The Shadow’s delusions. Forget them. And.”

This time Kain approached her. He patted her back in rhythm with her breathing, as if putting a child to sleep. His movements gradually slowed. Lily’s breathing followed, becoming slower and deeper.

“And. Don’t compare yourself to a dead person. You’re different from that woman. Much more talented. Prettier. Stronger. And your personality… no. Your personality is much better.”

“…Really?”

“Yes.”

Seemingly pleased, Lily burrowed into his embrace.

Of course, since Lily was taller, it was more like she was enveloping him rather than burrowing. She now appeared much more relaxed.

Kain brushed aside a lock of hair from the side of Lily’s face. She turned slightly, blushing shyly, but didn’t break eye contact.

“So stop thinking nonsense. Stop saying useless things. Who’s dying? What wasteland? I hate those places. Maybe an orchard or a city, but a place where not even a blade of grass grows… What? A tree? I don’t need a tree that can’t even bear fruit.”

“Then promise me,” Lily thrust out her chest. “Never abandon me or Maria. Go with us as colleagues. Promise me.”

“Alright. I promise.”

But Lily merely ran her tongue across her lips.

“Surely you’re not going to leave it at just words…?”

As if asking for a seal on their agreement, Lily approached again. It was a light, lingering kiss. Kain let her do as she wished.

At the same time, he thought that some things simply couldn’t be done. Wouldn’t it be better to become a liar than to let someone die?

* * * * *

When they returned to the room, Lily didn’t say a word. Instead, she stared endlessly at Kain. With bright, expectant eyes, as if suggesting he had something to do.

Maria remained seated in her chair, still furious. Kain cleared his throat as he stood before her. But before he could speak, Maria interrupted.

“Let me ask one thing. Say something similar happens again. Can you guarantee you won’t act like this again?”

“No.”

“What are you trying to—”

“Signals.”

“What?”

“Signals,” Kain sighed deeply. “It’s Imperial Security Bureau confidential, but I can share a couple. Simple hand signals. Expressions with hand movements, eye gestures, or body language. For complex ones, we sometimes draw patterns with our fingers on each other’s bodies.”

Maria looked bewildered, glancing back and forth between Kain and Lily. Lily smiled and nodded slightly. Kain scratched the back of his head.

“I never intended to disregard you. I was just in a hurry. So, in case something like this happens again, I want to teach you some signals. What do you think?”

“…You think I’m angry because I felt disregarded?!”

Kain had indeed assumed Maria was angry because she felt disrespected. The fact that she exploded specifically at that part, ignoring everything else, confirmed his suspicion.

“Lily and I aren’t here to clean up after you! When you rush ahead alone, what are we supposed to do? What if something goes wrong and you suddenly die? Just. Let’s go together. Just! Lily and I at least consult with you before we do anything!”

“I’m used to working alone, so I’m not accustomed to this kind of teamwork. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not going to apologize for slapping you, just so you know!”

Kain thought she must have been quite bothered by it, answering a question he hadn’t even asked. Maria was facing Kain, but her gaze was fixed elsewhere.

“I, I slapped you to bring you to your senses! You were upsetting Lily.”

Having been slapped on the cheek and then kissed on the lips in an unexpected place, Kain said nothing more.

“Thank you.”

Maria repeatedly brushed her hair up and sighed.

“Fine. Alright. Let’s make a plan. We still have some time until evening.”