Ch.59Alliance (2)

Asena’s first kiss happened when she was 15 years old. Though it was five years ago, she remembered everything as if it had happened yesterday.

Clearly, that day hadn’t been a good one.

She was enduring a difficult period. She had just inherited the position of family head from Grandmother Riana and was taking her first steps in the political world.

Since everything was new to her, she was clumsy, and that day too she had been wrestling with paperwork for hours.

Whenever this happened, Grandmother Riana would urge Asena to make quick and wise decisions, and continuously point out what was lacking in Asena’s choices and what she needed to be careful about.

Asena couldn’t help but feel her mood sinking. After listening to Grandmother Riana, she would feel like a fool, and her confidence as family head would vanish.

As much as she was struggling, she thought of Caden, but it felt unfair that even that comfort had to be suppressed because of her position as family head.

Kirsy, despite being her twin, was born a little later and was probably out playing with Caden. She couldn’t understand why she had to sit here disappointing her grandmother.

Still, she endured it.

She knew that the harder she worked, the more Caden would praise her. For 15-year-old Asena—no, even now, she thought—Caden was everything to her.

Thinking of his bright smile and gentle touch helped her persevere.

“…Let’s stop here for today, Asena.”

“…”

When Grandmother Riana announced the end, Asena inwardly sighed.

It was already late in the evening.

It had been an unlucky day, and she wanted to see Caden as soon as possible.

As she organized the documents and quill pen, her bottom lifted slightly from the chair in anticipation, and seeing this, Grandmother Riana showed a small smile and told her to go ahead.

Grandmother Riana seemed to know what Asena wanted.

“Talk with your brother for just a little while and then return to your room. Tomorrow will be another busy day. Understand?”

“…Yes, Grandmother. Thank you.”

Asena bowed, bending at the waist. Caden had always told her to bow properly.

Asena hurried toward Caden’s room with quick steps.

She planned to tell him everything that had happened today—how much Grandmother Riana had pressured her, how difficult it had been, and how hard she had worked.

Of course, Grandmother Riana had told her to reduce her excessive dependence on Caden, but Asena didn’t care.

“Brother.”

Asena flung open the door and called out to Caden, pretending not to be excited. She instinctively knew that acting a bit more depressed would earn her more affection from him.

“……”

But what she saw when she opened the door brought a wave of disappointment crashing over her.

The lights were off, and Caden was already fast asleep.

Without having spoken to her at all, he was already sleeping…

At first, Asena let out a hollow laugh at the sight, then felt upset and hurt that Caden hadn’t waited for her and had fallen asleep first.

“….Ha.”

Though it was a small thing, it hurt more because it was Caden who had done it.

She had waited for this moment all day without seeing him, but had he not felt the same?

Asena quietly closed the door and approached him as he slept peacefully.

In the moonlight, she could see new bruises on his arms.

Perhaps his training had been intense today. Maybe that’s why he was tired and fell asleep early.

Seeing him like this, she understood, but she still felt dissatisfied.

All her expectations had vanished like bubbles in an instant, turning an already bad day into the worst one.

In her frustration, she finally shook Caden. She was determined to get at least some compensation.

“…Brother… wake up…”

“…Mmm…”

But his eyes wouldn’t open. Was he that tired?

“…Wake up, Brother.”

-Shake shake.

Even though she pushed and shook him quite forcefully, Caden didn’t open his eyes at all.

“…”

Asena sat right next to his face. She looked down at him with cold eyes.

Slowly moving her hand, she pressed his cheek. She wanted to tease him a little.

“…Mmm…”

He frowned slightly and waved his hand in front of his face.

Seeing his defenseless expression, Asena finally burst into a small laugh.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stay angry when looking at him.

Whenever she was having a hard time, he had always supported her, and any negative feelings she might have had naturally dissolved.

Asena finally gave up on waking him and just gazed down at him.

Touching his cheeks and hair lightly, she slowly examined him.

Asena realized for the first time that she could like someone this much.

Though adopted, he was her brother. They weren’t alike at all, but they were connected as siblings.

She wondered if other people could like their brothers this much.

Her finger moved from his hair to his eyebrows, nose, and cheeks.

Her eyes fixed on his cheeks.

His soft cheeks that she had always kissed.

He was already asleep, but she wanted to kiss him.

It wasn’t so much that she liked the act of kissing itself, but rather what it symbolized.

It expressed how much she loved him.

That’s why Asena actually preferred receiving kisses to giving them.

That’s what kisses were.

The one who pressed their lips showed their affection.

Asena tucked her hair behind her ear and slowly lowered herself toward him.

As she was about to lightly kiss his cheek…

-Swoosh.

Caden stirred and turned his head.

-Smooch.

Asena ended up kissing him on the lips.

“..Ah..!”

She jerked back in surprise.

Her heart began to beat more intensely.

It was partly because she had done something different than usual… but his lips felt different.

In this case, who was expressing love to whom?

Usually, the one who initiates the kiss is expressing their affection… but this felt like they had exchanged feelings of affection.

It felt like they had shared “liking” each other.

Her head was spinning, and her lips still remembered the sensation of his.

With her mind suddenly becoming complicated, she stood up. She could feel the heat rising to her face in real time.

She needed time. Covering her face with both hands, she left Caden’s room.

Even the next day, she couldn’t concentrate because of the sensation of Caden’s lips.

It’s true that she received many scoldings from Grandmother Riana, but perhaps because her mind was so full, nothing seemed to affect her.

Eventually, Grandmother Riana told the unfocused Asena that they would continue later and ordered her to clear her head.

With this newfound free time…

Normally, Asena would have gone to find Caden, but that day she couldn’t.

It was just… like that.

She had more questions on her mind.

Finally, after sitting in her room for a long time, she asked the head maid who attended to her as family head.

“…Helen, I saw people pressing their lips together somewhere… is that a kind of kiss too?”

At that time, Asena had received no sex education whatsoever, so she asked Helen, who was older, about everything she was curious about.

Helen would distinguish between things she could and couldn’t talk about before explaining to Asena.

After thinking for a while, Helen smiled gently and said:

“Yes. But people call that a kiss.”

“…A kiss?”

“You’re already 15 years old… it wouldn’t hurt for you to know. Yes, a kiss.”

“……”

“While a peck shows that you like someone, a kiss is something only lovers who are in love do.”

“….Oh.”

At the words “something only lovers who are in love do,” Asena’s heart began to race again.

Then what she had done to Caden last night had that meaning.

It felt terribly wrong that she had done that to Caden… yet also felt so right.

“Yes. You can give pecks to many people as a sign of affection… but kisses are different. They’re only between two people. It’s a way of showing that you’re the most important person to each other.”

“…Only between two people?”

“Only between two people.”

Asena felt a possessiveness she didn’t know existed stirring within her. If Caden considered her special and only kissed her… not Kirsy, only her…

Her face began to flush.

Seeing her like this, Helen wore an expression that suggested she found Asena adorably endearing.

“…Ah… how cute… Wait. Someday, you’ll find someone you can kiss too.”

“…Huh? But… my brother…”

“That’s definitely not allowed. As I said, unlike pecks, family members don’t kiss each other.”

“……”

At those words, Asena’s heart began to darken. Of course, she was someone who filtered what the servants said to some extent, but the statement that she shouldn’t do it with Caden sparked a small anger in her chest.