Ch.5958. The Imperial Princess (2)

# 58. The Princess (2)

To me, she was always a special existence.

No matter where I went or what I did, I kept thinking about her and always wanted to see her.

Both when she was alive and when she was dead.

I always wanted to see her and devoted my entire life to loving her.

Although that love never bore fruit, it was fine back then.

Even though we had an awkward relationship, she already had someone from the beginning.

Considering her position as Emperor, she could have had multiple spouses, but she didn’t.

Even if she didn’t love her spouse, she at least maintained a minimum level of courtesy.

That fact was so heartbreaking.

Still, I kept that love, that desire hidden until the end.

Until she died.

‘What a pathetic man…’

I critically lacked ‘courage.’

I had always lived satisfied with the situation.

I was happy just being able to stay by her side and grateful to be able to fight alongside her.

Her smile wasn’t directed at me, but I was satisfied just being able to see that smile and didn’t indulge in any greater desires.

But something changed the situation.

‘Her death…’

When the monarch I had devoted my entire life to loving passed away, I, her loyal subject, fell into despair.

At first, the fact that I couldn’t protect her gave me a sense of despair as if I had lost everything in the world.

But fortunately or unfortunately, that despair didn’t last long and gradually faded away with the natural passage of time.

And that vanished despair returned to me in another form.

‘It’s… all because of them…’

If at first it was despair because of “me” who couldn’t prevent her death, then next came anger toward those damned ones who directly killed her.

But even though that anger found me, there was nothing I could do.

The opponents were an alliance of three kingdoms, and we had lost our greatest strength.

Still, I didn’t give up.

If before I had lived each day to protect her, after her death, I endured each day to avenge her.

Rather, during the days when I longed for revenge, I worked harder and pushed myself more.

After ten grueling years of hardship, I finally stood before those bastards.

On that day when I successfully avenged her… I felt an indescribable sense of liberation.

‘But…’

If I were to ask myself, “Did I live happily without regrets afterward?” I could say with certainty:

‘I did not.’

Even after avenging her, nothing changed.

The fact that she was dead and that I would never see her again remained the same.

And it was only when I realized this that I harbored one desire.

A simple yet absolutely impossible desire.

‘I want to see her…’

In truth, I probably had this desire even before realizing it.

It was just buried under anger and despair, so I couldn’t recognize it.

The skill that appeared almost immediately after her death proved this fact.

I lived my life with the single desire to see her again.

‘How can I meet her?… Would dying work?.. Is it impossible to bring back the dead?..’

Countless such questions swirled in my mind.

But I couldn’t answer any of them.

Not even until my death.

When my time came, I looked back on my chaotic life and resigned myself.

‘This is as far as I go… I tried everything I could..’

I rationalized.

But in my hectic later years, I had forgotten the final possibility.

The existence of that skill called [???].

The skill that had been gradually increasing in rank throughout my chaotic life finally crossed an insurmountable mountain at the threshold of death.

There was one common knowledge everyone in this world knew:

‘The maximum rank for skills is SSS+.’

It was a mundane statement attached to the description of any skill.

But even that description was missing from this skill.

Of course, I only realized this just before dying.

‘Please…’

Upon realizing this, I once again harbored hope, desire.

The dream I had held since my bright young days.

I decided to trust this mysterious skill with its puzzling EX rank, even if it meant being deceived.

And as a result…

“Where am I?”

I returned to the past.

After a long wait, an opportunity to fulfill my desire had arrived.

So I tried my best to seize that opportunity.

I shed the excess weight and cultivated my once weak body.

To meet her, I enrolled in the academy she attended.

And in that process, I finally met her.

“I saw the hope of this world.”

She was there before me—the driving force of my life, my hope, my very desire.

Seeing her looking at me, I couldn’t contain the overflowing emotions.

Those emotions moistened my tear ducts, which had dried up since her death.

Even after fulfilling my long-held desire, I spent much time with her.

And within those times, a different desire from before grew.

‘Could I get closer to her in a different way in this life?’

That desire might have been there from the moment I first returned to the past, just like before.

But even before that… I had such a desire in my previous life too.

‘Could I date the Empress? I’m confident I could treat her better..’

But back then, I didn’t bring out such desires.

More precisely, I couldn’t.

Just because there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean a goal can’t be scored, but I wasn’t the striker to score against such a goal.

And she wasn’t a goal that would allow such a shot.

‘Then in this life?’

It wasn’t an easy goal.

That goal was the hardest to score against in the empire.

But it wasn’t entirely impossible either.

So I waited and waited.

I wanted to confess much earlier, but the situation wasn’t right, and I lacked the courage.

But this time, that once impenetrable goal kindly created a situation where I could score.

‘Now… might it be possible?’

Asking myself that question, I spoke to her.

“Princess, there’s something I want to tell you.”

“W-what is it?”

The romantic atmosphere and her shy demeanor seemed to answer that question.

And that answer gave me the ‘courage’ to indulge in my desire.

“I like you, Princess.”

“Y-you already said that earlier…”

The same words, but not the same meaning.

Clearly, they both expressed liking, but to me, the two statements were distinctly different.

Earlier was my honest feelings toward her.

And now was the ‘courage’ to pour out the desire I had built up all this time.

“So, about that…”

Looking at my reflection in her trembling purple eyes, a much-improved version of myself compared to before, I continued.

“Would you consider dating me?”

Upon hearing those words, she hid her reddened face and asked.

“What?! So… suddenly?!”

“Suddenly? I’ve been holding back for too long…”

I had been holding back for far too many years.

“And you also had something to say, Princess. I think what you wanted to say wasn’t much different from what I just said.”

“That’s….”

Judging by her expression, it seemed she was indeed going to say something similar.

Seeing her flustered expression somewhat eased my tension, allowing for a more relaxed conversation.

“Did I beat you to it?”

“Well… you could say that…”

She readily admitted it.

I had somewhat known it already, but hearing it directly from her was refreshing.

‘The Empress likes me too…’

I felt a happiness that my current self couldn’t fully contain.

Somehow, I also felt a sense of pride.

But that alone wasn’t enough.

I wanted to hear something more definitive, so I urged her.

“So, what’s your answer to my confession?”

“J-just a moment…! I’m not… mentally prepared yet…”

She was slowly gathering her composure, and I watched her silently.

Her current appearance was incredibly lovable.

Her blushing face, her slow deep breaths, her shy attempts to avoid my gaze while still trying to meet my eyes.

Every action was so endearing.

I almost felt guilty for being the only one witnessing this spectacle.

‘Indeed… too dangerous for my heart.’

Calming my heart, which was eagerly asserting its presence, I waited for her words.

The waiting time, which felt like an eternity but was objectively not long at all, soon came to an end.

She slowly opened her mouth.

“As you know… I’m a princess… I’m quite demanding, my personality isn’t the best, and I might often go to Albert to throw tantrums and act spoiled… is that okay with you?”

“Of course.”

“When I become Emperor, it’ll be worse. We won’t see each other much, and I’ll always be busy. I’ll try my best, but I’ll make you go through a lot, you know?”

“Then won’t our relationship become even more special during the times we can’t see each other? And as for hardships, I’m already prepared.”

Not seeing her? I’ve already endured that for hundreds of years.

I’ve been through thick and thin.

“…You’re much tougher than I thought…”

“Do you dislike such a person?”

“N-no, so about that… can you say those words again? It’s embarrassing for me to say it first…”

I readily repeated those words once more.

“I like you, Princess. I like your somewhat cold demeanor as a princess, your warm and gentle side as an academy senior, your powerful presence as a first-class magician, and even your flustered appearance before me now. I’m confident I can also love you when you’re overwhelmed with sadness and grief, crying your heart out.”

Looking at her purple eyes that met my gaze and her reddened eyelids, I continued.

“So, please date me.”

Wiping the tears that fell one by one, she answered the confession.

“Yes, alright. I’m in your care from now on… boyfriend.”