Ch.5920. That Can’t Possibly Be Reality.

“I never said you had to be perfect! But at the very least! Just enough to avoid criticism from others! I told you to mind your behavior!”

This wasn’t what I wanted to say.

But somehow, from a certain point on, whenever I saw Kariel’s face, I would end up saying such things.

Even though I knew I shouldn’t speak this way after saying it.

Somehow, the words I meant as expressions of concern and disappointment,

All came out sounding like irritation.

Even though I knew I shouldn’t be doing this right after speaking.

…I was afraid if I handled him too softly, the child would grow up crooked.

Having decided not to raise him with excessive indulgence.

…She, Ermina, had to swallow her bitter feelings inside.

I don’t want to say these things either, my child.

But… I need to raise you properly, don’t I?

Even I… don’t feel comfortable doing this.

Why can’t you understand that?

When you’re perfectly capable of doing everything if you tried.

Why won’t you listen?

Why do you let every word slide, ignore it, and try to look away?

“Let’s stop this.”

“What?”

But today was different.

His gaze was still downcast, but unlike before, he didn’t seem to be just enduring it mindlessly.

The low tone, the voice burning with indignation.

Between his raised head, distorted eyes and gaze.

Faced with this hostile attitude, Ermina momentarily lost her words and asked again.

“What… did you just say? To me…”

“I said enough! How long do I have to listen to such nagging? I’m trying hard enough! I’m doing my best! Have you ever tried to properly understand me? Whenever there’s a problem, it’s my fault! Others never do anything wrong! Am I the only one who’s wrong?!”

“You, you’re now…”

“Have you ever experienced what it’s like to be a hero’s child?! They compare me to you at every turn! Whatever I do, they criticize me for not being as good as you, mock me, and tear me down! And then I come home only to hear your nagging! Your venting! Father goes out to take care of others! And when he does come home, all he says is ‘do better’! It’s all about mindset! I’m mentally weak! Try harder! Effort! That effort! Do you think I haven’t been trying?! What am I to you people?! A tool? You wouldn’t even treat your sword this poorly! Clothes get washed when dirty! Swords get repaired when damaged! So I’m worse than a sword! Worse than a mere tool! Worse than clothing! Is that what you’re saying?!”

“Ka, Kal? You… why… suddenly…”

“How long am I supposed to endure? Even tools get minimal maintenance, don’t they? Am I worse than the trees and plants in the yard? Why! Was it so hard to praise me just once? Was it difficult? Outside you act like a saint, full of compassion and whatnot! You go out of your way to be kind to strangers! But why when you come home! You can’t wait to tear me down! You’re desperate to treat me like garbage! Answer me! Mother!”

After that, Kariel continued to spew his accumulated frustrations for a long time, as if exploding.

As if he wasn’t thinking or considering the consequences at all.

“Fine then, I’ll leave this house! If necessary, I’ll even change my name!”

“You, you! How! How dare you speak to me like—!”

“Shut up!”

Shocked by his outburst, Ermina couldn’t speak for a while.

By then.

Perhaps because the heightened emotions had somewhat subsided.

Kariel, breathing heavily.

And facing Ermina, who was left speechless, her mouth opening and closing.

He delivered his final verdict.

“Thank you for everything, Lady Ermina. As of today, I will leave the Brendiar family, and change both my title and name. Fortunately, I have the title of Baron Lutia from my previous merits, so I’ll manage to get by with that.”

So.

“Let’s not see each other’s faces again. You seem to have been emotionally drained because of me, but I’ll relieve you of that worry.”

After saying that, without even offering basic courtesy, Kariel turned his back to leave the living room.

Ermina grabbed him.

“What are you doing?”

“Why… are you saying such things? I just… wanted you to become someone who wouldn’t be ashamed in front of anyone. I was just…”

“Are you still trying to make excuses?”

At that, Ermina tightly closed her eyes.

Somehow, moisture was seeping from her darkened eyes.

“You’re right. Everything you said… is right. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I was afraid that if we showed weakness, it would harm you. And if you showed weakness, they would try to tear you down just as they do to us. I didn’t want you to become their prey. But… the words I said out of concern… somehow became criticism and condemnation. The nagging I meant for your own good… that wasn’t my intention…”

“……”

Kariel merely stared at Ermina with cold eyes.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do this to you again. It was all my fault. So please, don’t say you’re not my son… don’t say you’re leaving home… Don’t say such sad things… I’ll praise you from now on. I’ll encourage you, and if others say anything, I’ll stand by your side more than anyone else, I’ll protect you…”

So please, please…

“Don’t leave me. Please… don’t say you’re leaving us.”

“……”

Even so.

Though he seemed to waver a bit, Kariel soon shook off her hand.

“Kal?!”

“Whether that’s true or not, time will tell. My decision to leave here is already final. I’ll leave the estate so as not to cause trouble, so handle the rumors as you see fit.”

“Kal! You, are you really?!”

“When I asked you to believe in me before, did you believe me?”

I.

“Because of you all, I had to bear crimes I didn’t commit, and bow my head for sins I never committed. And when they accused me, when it was finally revealed that it was all a misunderstanding and malicious framing, what did you say?”

“……”

“That I should accept it graciously because they all apologized? When did they apologize? That formal appearance at the banquet hall, that superficial glossing over, was that a sincere apology? That was for you, not for me, wasn’t it? They did it out of consideration for you, to avoid giving you unnecessary trouble, that’s how it was buried, right?”

“Kal…”

“It’s been wrong from the start, but I was too inadequate, and only now have I made up my mind.”

Before me.

“Don’t call me Kal. I’ll change my name, so please call me properly when that happens. If the message hasn’t been conveyed, call me Baron Lutia.”

“Kal! Listen to your mother properly!”

“You’re the one who should listen to me properly! Baron Lutia! How many times do I have to say it!”

Kariel shouted in anger.

Afterward, he breathed heavily for a while, as if suppressing his emotions.

Finally, he left the place.

“……”

Collapsing in place, she sat there for a while, unable to think anything.

……

………

In a secluded cabin in the mountains, far from any city or town.

After much searching, Ermina was able to find Kariel again.

Despite his coldness, she continued to show her face at the cabin where Kariel was staying.

“Are you… eating properly?”

The door didn’t open.

“I, I thought I could help clean up.”

Again, the door didn’t open.

“I, I brought some food and things because the house looked empty?”

Similarly, the door didn’t open.

She put down the supplies she had brought in front of the door, earnestly asking him to take them after she left.

But the next day, they remained exactly where she had left them.

She prayed constantly and thought constantly.

Lueld offered to join her, but Ermina firmly refused.

This was ultimately her sin.

The price she had to pay for what she had built up.

Even if she hadn’t wanted this result, this was the fruit that had bloomed.

Therefore, this was a price only she had to bear.

How much time passed like that?

One week, two weeks.

“I’m sorry. That I… didn’t understand my only child like this. I’m really… so sorry. Truly, truly so sorry…”

The door opened.

“……”

A more haggard appearance than before.

In Kariel’s eyes, in Ermina’s eyes.

The condition of both was seriously different from before, to a jarring degree.

“…Come in.”

Was that single word of permission so difficult?

Kneeling down, yet unable to reach out her hand.

Looking at Kariel who was watching her with trembling eyes.

“……”

Ermina thanked God inwardly, and at the same time repeatedly thanked Kariel for allowing this, but.

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything out loud.

All that came out were tears.

The inside was cramped, but it was a space sufficient for a person to live in.

What came out could barely be called tea, but she held the wooden cup with difficulty, as if even that warmth was overwhelming.

“I will never treat you carelessly again. I won’t nag, or criticize, or speak ill of you…”

“That sounds like something that could be easily misunderstood if someone heard it.”

“I, I’m sorry.”

“Did I ever say not to point out my mistakes? I never once said not to reprimand me for my errors. Do you still not understand what was wrong?”

“No, no! I understand! I’ve been thinking about it constantly! It’s just… the words… what to say… don’t come easily…”

“For someone so eloquent, why have you become like this?”

Kariel’s expression was truly perplexed.

“I’m sorry… I’ll respect you from now on. Yes, that was what… was most needed.”

“……”

It’s not about not pointing out mistakes and faults.

Nagging? That’s fine too.

Asking to be heard? Had Kariel himself ever made such a childish demand?

“I’m a person too. Even plants wither if they don’t get water and sunlight… how long did you think I could endure?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“……”

They sat like that for a while, in silence.

It was a long, long time, but Ermina truly cherished this moment.

……

……….

Missing the academy for half a year without permission.

Naturally, Kariel was in a position where he would have to repeat a year, let alone graduate.

As a result, his school ranking fell even further, but.

“…I’m sorry.”

“No. It must have been hard to adjust… I know you’re trying.”

Ermina’s attitude had changed unrecognizably compared to before.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been studying late into the night recently. And eating less. You’re still growing, you shouldn’t do that.”

“……”

“Tell me if it’s hard. And if you’re really not happy with it, you don’t have to attend the academy.”

Kariel looked up at Ermina.

And then.

As if he had finally put down a heavy burden he had been carrying.

With a much more relaxed face, he said.

“Thank you.”

“No. It’s what I should have done all along.”

Placing her hand on his shoulder, Ermina smiled calmly.

Yes.

Originally, it should have been like this.

…It should have been like this.

Tears flowed.

====

“Woman. Had a good dream, did you?”

“……”

When she opened her eyes, Ermina saw a space all too familiar to her.

And, sitting in a chair pulled up near the bed, looking down at her.

An elf with long silver hair and a youthful appearance.

Those eyes, holding the green of nature, showed a complicated light.

“Lady Geornia…”

“It was really hard to see your husband’s face. Since you just gave birth and are in postpartum recovery… I was planning to visit after you stabilized.”

I was quite angry, to be honest.

She asked with a bitter smile.

“So, what kind of dream did you have?”

“……”

Ermina couldn’t say anything.

As she tried to recall it.

Only tears poured out endlessly.

She didn’t remember exactly.

But surely, at the end, she was standing shoulder to shoulder with that child…

She still doesn’t know.

Everyone had kept silent out of concern for her.

So, how tangled and broken things had become.

Ermina still didn’t know well.

Yet she had a premonition.

Perhaps.

That scene she saw in her dream.

Was a dream-like scene no longer permitted to her.

Perhaps she had unconsciously realized this.

Maybe that’s why.

The tears wouldn’t stop flowing.