Ch.5656. Choice.

56.

Ever since my body changed, I’ve always felt that this body I’m breathing and moving in is incredibly sturdy and healthy.

But that’s only because my original body was so weak it could be called ephemeral. Objectively speaking, this body’s physical abilities aren’t particularly exceptional.

Now, thanks to all kinds of hardships over more than a year, I’ve built up enough stamina and muscle to give the impression of being sturdier than I look.

But at first, I was just an ordinary girl who struggled even to walk through snow while carrying an empty bag.

And it’s not like I had outstanding academic knowledge or extensive experience in these harsh cold conditions either.

“Honestly, I don’t even know how I’ve survived until now.”

I had neither knowledge nor ability. There was no one to compensate for my shortcomings in the places I’d been through.

Many days couldn’t be explained by saying I was lucky. Each day might feel ordinary as it passes, but looking back, they were miraculous.

The reason I could summon such miracles was because I adapted to this world far better than I had imagined.

The temperature, the food, the sleeping arrangements.

Humans are contradictory beings who seek change yet want their daily lives to remain stable.

That’s why when sudden changes come to life, especially negative ones, people easily become stressed and struggle with even trivial matters.

But I wasn’t like that. Though I experienced confusion many times—when I first opened my eyes in this world or with my changed gender—I ultimately adapted.

If I hadn’t quickly adapted to the various moments of confusion and choice that came my way, and hadn’t made the right decisions, I probably wouldn’t exist now.

“Paradise…”

In the water flowing downward by human design, Paradise is reflected. The Paradise mentioned here refers both to the religious concept and to the top of the Tower.

At the same time, it’s the first and last place I’ve chosen to find.

Humanity, having realized that all humans born on this earth eventually die, created an imaginary space called Paradise on the other side of the sky—the opposite of the earth where humans are born and face death—out of fear of inevitable death.

And they believed without doubt that by living virtuously, even though their bodies would be buried in the ground, their conscious selves would reach Paradise and live eternally.

But as science and technology advanced, humanity came to realize:

While humans might be the masters of this Earth, they are not the masters of this world—this universe.

Humans are merely life forms born from incredible coincidences piling upon coincidences. The human history that seemed so long is actually just a fleeting moment, and the illusory space called Paradise doesn’t exist.

Long ago, Earth was a box. Like the box the Little Prince drew for the pilot, it was a box containing everything humans desired.

But humanity couldn’t contain its curiosity and wondered about the world outside the box.

No cradle can forever hold a creature that wants to leave on its own.

Eventually, humanity lost the foundation of emotional stability they had briefly enjoyed due to their curiosity and their own choices.

Nevertheless, since life and human intellect aren’t things that can be confirmed with the eyes like physical bodies, there have long been people who believe—or want to believe—that Paradise still exists somewhere unseen.

Considering that the word “Paradise” was attached to humanity’s final habitable place, such beliefs and choices must have continued until the very moment civilization collapsed.

“Oh, what’s this?”

Just as my current self exists as a result of countless choices, everything human—including consciousness and body—is formed by numerous choices.

But why do humans who are born on the same land, breathe the same air, and wear the same clothes end up making different choices?

And why have they pointed knives and guns at each other, drawing blood because they couldn’t accept these differences?

Having one’s own beliefs is desirable, but because of this, humans constantly struggle and move away from peace.

If everyone could understand and yield to each other, there would be no need to fight, and surely not everyone is foolish enough not to know this.

Why couldn’t so many people understand each other until the very end of the world, and why were they so desperate to fulfill their own desires?

Was it because of the instinct of living beings who have to compete for limited resources and want to live longer?

“…I’m not sure. What do you think?”

“Woof?”

“Right, there’s no way you’d know either.”

When washing clothes in flowing water, surprisingly many objects float by.

Most of them are insignificant things like small screws or pieces of cloth.

But occasionally, something comes along that makes me think.

[Let’s not fight and live happily together.]

A child’s letter written in crooked handwriting.

The letter depicting many people contained a child’s pure wish for peace.

But bloodstains from an unknown source had tainted the child’s wish.

“It would have been nice if there was a world where everyone could live in peace without fighting.”

After learning about Paradise while walking through the ruined city, I naturally began my journey toward it, and now I’m getting closer.

History repeats itself. Are these repeating histories and choices mere coincidences? Or is something invisible guiding people?

If something exists that guides our thoughts and actions, and we can’t be aware of it, are we really living by our own complete will?

“…Ms. Mori. What exactly are you doing?”

“You can see for yourself. I was doing laundry and taking a break.”

“My camera isn’t just for decoration, you know? What I want to say is, you clearly said yesterday that we’d move once the weather cleared, so why are you resting like this!”

A makeshift sunbed created by pulling over chairs scattered around the building, tilting them back, and wrapping them with cloth.

A clothesline made by dropping thick electrical wires from one building’s window and wrapping them around a pillar of the opposite building.

And skewered meat browning nicely over a campfire made from burning excess cloth and paper.

The Robot shook its head at the sight of this luxurious vacation only possible in this kind of world, as if finding my behavior ridiculous.

“Days when we can do laundry like this don’t come often, and with the roads this slippery, we could have a serious accident if we drive.”

“Your superficial reason sounds ve-ry plausible. So what’s your real reason?”

“Well… the weather was just too nice to spend the day inside Alexander as usual.”

“Ohh.”

The Robot’s camera half-closed as it looked at me.

It’s always fascinating to see it express emotions not just through the face on its display but also through its camera. Though it might just be me assigning meaning to it.

“So while I spent all day struggling through strong winds and rain to find the most comfortable route for you to reach the village near the Tower, you two were having such a pleasant time!”

“We’ve been working hard all this time, so one day should be fine, right? And we weren’t just resting—”

Finding intact chairs around buildings to modify, washing thick winter clothes by hand, and hanging them up isn’t exactly easy.

Although I had the Puppy with me, being small and four-legged, all it could do was alert me whenever it found chairs as we searched abandoned buildings, and help keep the hand-washed clothes from floating away in the water.

“Do you know how hard it is to wash clothes by hand in this weather, even if it’s gotten a bit warmer? I thought my skin was going to peel off. And I just started grilling the meat!”

I pointed at the blazing campfire with my slightly swollen hands.

As evident from the meat that was just starting to brown nicely, despite my resolve to relax today, I hadn’t been enjoying my break for very long.

“Well. I can certainly understand your desire to rest, especially since we’ve been moving non-stop and days with such beautiful weather are rare! But somehow I feel a little hurt, like I’m the only one being left out. Sob sob.”

“There’s nothing to feel bad about. We didn’t even know where you’d gone. Wouldn’t it have been worse if we went looking for you and ended up missing each other?”

“Aha! Now that I think about it, you’re right. Oh my, I seem to have misunderstood.”

Realizing it hadn’t been left out, the Robot seemed embarrassed by what it had just said and started laughing awkwardly.

Ha ha, looking at the Robot with its mouth open in laughter, its expression and voice speaking like a human, I wondered:

…Was this Robot originally designed with these somewhat dim-witted aspects?

Or was it that through extensive learning to mimic humans, what was once a perfectly sensible and intelligent being now occasionally behaves erratically?

If I had the technical knowledge and enough time, I would have found out the answer.

It was just a little disappointing that I couldn’t.