Ch.55. Sione Sianella (5)

This dinner time, sitting at a long table with my family, is the most difficult time for me.

I don’t think I deserve to be here, having achieved nothing for our proud county while living in seclusion.

For me, these family gatherings are nothing but a bed of thorns.

That’s why sitting here is painful for me.

Today, as always, I quietly finished my meal in haste and stood up first.

“…I’ll be excusing myself now.”

After years of finishing meals and leaving like this, my family no longer shows any particular reaction.

At this point, their indifference is more comfortable, and I welcome their silence.

I moved my legs to get as far away from this awkward place as possible.

As I approached the dining hall exit, I heard men’s voices louder than usual.

Voices I’ve heard so often in this place that they’ve become sickeningly familiar.

…Siabel and Sion’s servants.

This time too, they’re probably all badmouthing me or praising my older sister and younger brother as if it’s their own story.

“So, even though today is your first day serving her, it’s still Lady Sione… Did she perhaps do something to trouble you?”

As expected, today’s topic of conversation seems to be criticizing me.

It’s quite something that I’m openly insulted even by servants.

With questions like that, the man who just became my personal servant will probably start badmouthing me along with them…

By now, avoiding people and spitting out prickly words has become a habit, and I threw irritable words at him without hesitation.

It’s only natural for him to speak ill of me.

After all, I deserve to be criticized.

But contrary to my expectations, his voice didn’t utter insults about me.

“At least the Lady Sione I’ve seen with my own eyes is not the noble you all complain about.”

He seemed to dislike me quite a bit while cleaning my room earlier.

Why is he taking my side?

Is there some other reason?

Even I think my usual behavior resembles that of a delinquent rather than the well-mannered noble I once aspired to be.

It’s natural to be criticized.

Though his response was different from what I expected, it didn’t feel bad.

“Shall we return to your room?”

So I looked at him for a moment.

A person’s eyes don’t lie.

I wanted to glimpse even a fragment of why he had taken my side.

But that was all.

“…Yes, let’s go back to my room.”

I didn’t want to stand in this awkward place any longer.

I stopped trying to look into his intentions and left.

As time passes, it’s obvious he’ll stop taking my side.

I thought I wouldn’t need to worry about it.

Several more days passed like that.

Winter departed and spring arrived.

I thought this would be the time when seeds that had been dormant during winter would bloom and flourish.

The weather was also bright, so I went out for a walk for the first time in a very long while.

That servant naturally followed behind me.

With him behind me, excited at the thought of seeing my favorite flowers after so long, I muttered to myself.

“The sunshine is warm and the breeze is cool—the weather is nice.”

“It’s perfect weather for a light stroll around the area.”

“Indeed.”

And so our conversation began with my muttering.

“Where are you planning to go?”

“I’m thinking of going to the garden. Around this time, daffodils and irises bloom in the garden, making it quite beautiful.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Anticipation is also a form of entertainment. Besides those, you’ll be able to see tulips and daisies too.”

I answered willingly, not feeling particularly bad about having a normal conversation after so long.

As we continued our conversation, he asked a question.

“Do you like flowers, Lady Sione?”

The reason I like flowers.

Originally, I had no intention of telling him, but…

On a simple whim, I told him.

“Flowers bloom. Breaking free from the stuffy, dark seed, taking root, sprouting buds, and continuously striving until they finally bloom. Isn’t that quite admirable?”

Unlike me, always trapped in the darkness of a seed, flowers eventually bloom.

I liked flowers.

I could say I had a rather good time having such trivial conversations while touring the garden.

But soon after meeting Sion, my mood withered.

My younger brother despised my incompetence and lethargy, and he enjoyed using this as an excuse to slander me.

From my brother’s mouth came endless stories about the talented eldest daughter and youngest son of the Sianella family, unlike me, along with gossip about me.

…I’m tired of it. I hate it all now. It’s not like I wanted to be born this way.

“If only I had a proper talent.”

As I whispered this, that servant who usually observed me carefully spoke brazenly.

“Then why not find a talent other than swordsmanship?”

I was dumbfounded.

That this guy who appeared just a week ago would speak such impertinent words.

“How absurd. They say you were born a commoner, but are you so ignorant that you don’t even know what kind of family the Sianella County is?”

“I’ve heard that even Sion Sianella has taken the path of a priest rather than a swordsman and is achieving excellent results. Lady Sione, you don’t need to insist only on swordsmanship because of your bloodline.”

Yes, I know well that I don’t need to insist only on swordsmanship.

That’s why I struggled so much in the past.

“No one is born without talent. Lady Sione, you just haven’t found the talent given to you yet.”

“……”

“Have you ever tried training in something other than swordsmanship?”

…Of course. Because I wanted to be recognized as a worthy member somehow. But—

I wanted to unravel the knot that had formed for no reason.

“After giving up on swords, I tried spears. But just like with swords, the spear in my hands never moved smoothly.”

“After putting down the spear, I also tried to learn magic. But I found that magic didn’t suit me at all.”

“Still, I thought it was too early to give up. Realizing that dynamic things didn’t suit me, I went to the library to accumulate static knowledge by reading books.”

“I didn’t even hope for encouragement. I just wanted them to understand and wait until I found my own path. But when I went to the library to read books, everyone was busy comparing and belittling me.”

And his response to my words was—

“That’s fortunate.”

I was dumbfounded.

To say “that’s fortunate” in this situation.

“…Did I mishear you?”

I was angry.

Very angry.

“It’s fortunate that I still have something I can teach you.”

But after hearing this, I felt more like laughing than being angry.

“Have you ever drawn a bowstring?”

I didn’t understand what he meant.

“What exactly are you trying to say? If you’re just trying to shake me up, isn’t that… enough now?”

“I think it would be good to start practicing a little bit from tomorrow. What do you think?”

“Me, going outside this room to shoot a bow? Ha, I can almost hear the knights’ laughter from here.”

It was also strange.

“What do you mean by saying that you, of all people, will teach me? And even if I follow you out, it’s obvious I’ll just become a laughingstock again. Why should I go out of my way to suffer such humiliation?”

“Though I was born as a lowly slave, I am a man with mana. Since it was determined from birth that I would be sold as a toy to noble houses under the pretext of being a male knight, I learned basic swordsmanship and archery.”

“……”

“I learned superficially to fit the appearance of a male knight… but at least I can teach you how to hold and shoot a bow with the correct posture.”

I couldn’t understand why he was so persistent with me.

“If you’re worried about others’ ridicule, don’t be. If it’s difficult to see the target clearly in the dark, we can go out at dawn and return before others arrive. I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”

“Really, haha.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Why would someone go to such lengths for someone like me?

“You teaching me archery? Can you even take responsibility for those words?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I wonder where that confidence comes from. It’s been a while since I heard something amusing. Now, stop talking nonsense and leave.”

But the joke ends here.

I didn’t want to hear any more of his nonsense. Every time I heard his nonsense, my mind became complicated.

“If I stake everything I have, would you believe me?”

But he didn’t stop and continued to shake me.

So I asked him directly.

“Why are you so determined to stick with me?”

His answer was beyond my imagination.

“No servant enjoys seeing their master disrespected. If any exist… they would only be those who have already turned their hearts toward someone else.”

“……”

“I won’t laugh at you.”

…Because he feels bad that I’m disrespected? Why on earth…

I sat on my bed and thought endlessly.

It was difficult to come to a conclusion easily, but my heart leaned a little more to one side.

“…This will be the first and last time I heed your request, so keep that in mind.”

I decided to go along with his words just this once.