Ch.53Secret (3)

I experienced a series of unexpected situations that caused confusion, but I managed to return to my dormitory and smooth things over. Throwing myself onto the bed and staring blankly at the ceiling helped my overheated mind gradually cool down.

Still, my thoughts remained tangled. Cecilly’s behavior toward me today, and Marie following us…

It was a day that inevitably led to complicated thoughts. I blinked while staring vacantly at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh.

‘Perhaps I was too complacent…’

Unlike the royal siblings who created an atmosphere close to interrogation, Cecilly encouraged me to reveal my secret voluntarily. It wasn’t a threat but an attitude that clearly respected my position.

Additionally, Cecilly declared herself ready to devote everything to the author of Biography of Xenon—to me. It wasn’t a joke but contained determination and sincerity, her heartfelt will.

However, forcibly guiding my hand to touch her chest and further putting my finger in her mouth leaves room for various interpretations. I’d need to hear directly from Cecilly, but to others (especially Marie), it might appear as if she was using her body to seduce me.

At that moment, my reason completely flew away, making it difficult to grasp the meaning, but thinking about it now, I realize I was too complacent in some ways.

Of course, I can’t determine whether Cecilly intended to seduce me. I plan to meet her separately tomorrow to confirm this.

‘I’ve certainly been living with my mind quite empty.’

I could be said to have a poor sense of reality and lacking social skills. In my previous life, I isolated myself after my parents died in an accident while I was in college, and in this life, I stayed at home until entering the academy.

Because of this, I tend to live life like flowing water. It means I can’t respond properly to variables.

But I’ve clearly learned from Leort and Rina, as well as Cecilly.

My value is far greater than I think. I’m not sure exactly how much, but when the princess of Helium says she’ll offer herself to me, it’s certainly far beyond the extraordinary level.

‘Fortunately, it’s just the royal family and Cecilly, but at this rate, a real disaster could happen later. Even Father might not be able to stop it.’

Although I have Father as a reliable backing, even that would crumble helplessly before the massive power of a “nation.” So it’s right to develop the ability to overcome with my own strength, not my father’s abilities.

Father and the rest of my family said they would help me anytime, but I can’t always rely on them. What would that be if not being spoiled?

So it seems best to handle situations appropriately with my own abilities, and if that doesn’t work, borrow the family’s strength. My family would respect this opinion of mine.

After thinking this through, I wonder if I’ve been too stupid all this time. Having a calculating aspect rather than living thoughtlessly would make the future easier.

‘And Marie…’

Today I could be certain. Marie harbors romantic feelings for me beyond just “interest.”

Seeing how she followed Cecilly and me and knocked on my door directly, anyone could tell that much, no matter how oblivious.

And my reaction to that…

‘…Should I hold her hand first?’

It started with my face rapidly turning red. I too harbor feelings for Marie beyond person-to-person, as a romantic interest.

Our first meeting wasn’t particularly good, but the more time we spent together, the more naturally such feelings developed. Her beautiful face is one thing, but what I like most is her personality, far removed from any sense of entitlement.

Above all, Marie doesn’t even suspect that I’m the author of Biography of Xenon. Unlike Cecilly, she likes me for who I am.

But the biggest obstacle is her background. Marie’s family isn’t a mere baronial house like mine but the Reckyless Duchy, which holds power second only to the imperial family.

The relationship between the Emperor and the Duke isn’t bad, but it’s not good either. They compete fiercely and check each other to maintain the balance of the Empire of Minerva. If something goes wrong here, the empire could fall into chaos.

‘Marie probably wouldn’t care…’

Marie would just be surprised if she learned I was the author of Biography of Xenon, nothing more. Having spent a lot of time with her, I’m certain of this.

But that’s just her—whether her family would leave me alone is questionable. So even if I date Marie, it’s awkward to tell her directly until she notices.

‘First, I need to figure out how much I’m worth.’

The newspapers say I changed the paradigm of novels, that I’m a benefactor who fulfilled the long-cherished wish of the demon race, that I reestablished theology, and so on.

Various evaluations circulate, but this isn’t enough. Know yourself and know your enemy—I need to know my value more accurately to prevent disasters.

‘Who would have thought one piece of writing would lead to this…’

I sighed inwardly and got up from the bed. As I said earlier, I’m somewhat lacking in my sense of reality. But after experiencing various incidents, I felt the need to change my mindset.

With that thought, I sat at the desk and opened the second drawer. Inside were stacks of thick manuscript paper.

But these weren’t ordinary manuscripts. They were the first drafts I had carefully written—the first edition of Biography of Xenon.

Originally, the publisher kept the first edition, but when Biography of Xenon became a hit far exceeding expectations, they returned it. From the publisher’s perspective, keeping such a thing could lead to trouble, so they had no choice but to return it for safety.

‘I wonder how much value this holds…’

It looks like nothing special—just manuscript paper. But I was curious how it would appear in the eyes of important people.

Not just my own value, but the value of the first edition would be considerable. Especially to the Kingdom of Teres, known as a cultural powerhouse, it would be a treasure.

But as I just mentioned, knowing how much value I hold is the priority. And the appropriate people to ask about this are…

‘Leort and Rina, and Marie… I suppose?’

I’ll pass on Cecilly since she represented the demon race’s position, and the most complicated relationship is with humans. Since the protagonist of Biography of Xenon is human, the most enthusiastic race is human, and the race trying to find me is also human.

So the high-ranking humans would know the value of the first edition better than anyone. I recalled the three people in my mind and slightly furrowed my brow.

‘Among them, Marie is the most trustworthy.’

It’s a bit uncomfortable to approach her with a specific purpose in mind, unlike others. I want to laugh, talk, and enjoy normal life with her as always.

A kind of sanctuary, you might say. Since my complacency led to this situation, it seemed better to explain the situation to her.

Of course, Marie would gladly accept me regardless of who I am, but that’s precisely why I need to be more careful. Now that I know what feelings she harbors for me, I don’t want to harm her.

‘Right now…’

It would be good to write a letter to Father. It seems best to express my mindset to Father first before taking action.

So I put the first edition back in the drawer and began writing a letter to Father. I should explain the situation since he would be quite surprised if I suddenly said I would act on my own.

‘I can’t think that nothing else will happen.’

Various incidents have already occurred, and time cannot be turned back. A secret is only a secret when only one person knows it.

‘Instead of just trying to avoid it, let’s prepare.’

I began to carefully write a letter to my father with a serious mind.

*****

In a room where not even a speck of light entered.

Cecilly, a demon with red eyes, lay on a soft bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

Her red eyes glowing brightly in the darkness and her black hair spread across the bed created a scene like a painting.

She slowly stretched her hand toward the ceiling. She saw her own hand, calloused from decades of training.

“… …”

Cecilly blinked a couple of times while looking at her hand. At the same time, she deeply recalled what had happened today.

It was an ordinary day like any other, but today was a bit special. Because she had met the author of Biography of Xenon, the benefactor of the demon race, whom she had so desperately wanted to meet.

Of course, whether he was really the author of Biography of Xenon would require evidence, but Cecilly could intuitively sense it. The red-haired boy, Issac, was certainly the author of Biography of Xenon she had desperately wanted to meet.

She had gently guided him until he revealed the secret himself, but when Issac actually said he was the author of Biography of Xenon, she couldn’t help but be surprised. Most people speculated that the author of Biography of Xenon was an elderly sage.

They would never think it was a fresh youngster—no, a young man—not even 20 years old, like Issac.

‘Issac…’

Cecilly recalled the oppression the demon race had endured. A hundred years is quite a long time even for demons.

During that time, demons did not receive good evaluations from other races. No, beyond that, they received gazes of hatred and contempt.

Fortunately, she didn’t directly experience such gazes as the princess of Helium, but other demons weren’t so lucky. Demons who ventured into the outside world all met with unfortunate tragedies.

Because of this, Helium couldn’t take a single step diplomatically and was forced into a closed position. The fact that Helium recently began diplomacy with the Kingdom of Teres is an incredible achievement.

‘All of this…’

It’s thanks to the red-haired boy, Issac. When his face came to mind, Cecilly placed her outstretched hand on her chest.

Thump- Thump- Thump-

Her heart pounded roughly as if broken. She must have been quite excited without realizing it.

She tried to calm herself to settle her racing heart, but it wasn’t easy. Rather, the moment she became aware of it, her heart beat even more wildly.

Is this feeling love, or is it respect? Having been born with such emotions being unfamiliar, Cecilly couldn’t easily grasp it.

But one thing is certain.

‘Issac…’

This emotion is directed toward Issac, the author of Biography of Xenon.

“Haah…”

Cecilly let out a heated breath and slowly closed her eyes. And she remembered what Marie had told her today.

Marie had stated that her reason for liking Issac wasn’t because of his secret. She simply liked Issac as a being, and unlike Cecilly, she didn’t care about that secret.

This statement was enough to deliver a great shock to Cecilly. Because thanks to her, she realized her own mistake earlier.

‘That was close.’

She almost committed a terrible discourtesy to a “man with romantic feelings” and a “benefactor.” She had acted that way to mean she could give everything, but thinking about it now, there’s plenty of room for different interpretations.

Is it right to act that way toward a “man with romantic feelings”? She could firmly say absolutely not.

After these thoughts, she couldn’t help but see Issac differently.

Originally, she had feelings for him thinking he was an open-minded man. Being by his side, she felt she could act like a normal person regardless of being a demon.

And now her feelings have intensified as he has become the benefactor who fulfilled the demon race’s long-cherished wish. She realized why he was an open-minded person.

A man she had feelings for and the benefactor of demons. At that time, these two aspects combined caused confusion. She was confused about which to focus on.

But not now. She is growing love while looking only at one person, “Issac.”

“Ah…”

What should she call this feeling that is truly grateful and truly lovely?

Reverence? Yes. Perhaps it could be called reverence.

With that thought, Cecilly clasped her hands together and twisted her body. She wants to run to him right now to express her sincere gratitude first, and also to tell him she is ready anytime, just say the word.

If someone else had been the author of Biography of Xenon, she wouldn’t have acted this way. She would have just honored them as a benefactor at the national level and repaid them.

But Issac is a man she has feelings for. And the more she mulls over their conversations, the more she can’t help but have feelings for him.

Thanks to Biography of Xenon, many people’s views toward demons have changed. But there were almost none who treated demons like normal people from the beginning.

Even Rina, who became friends with her, was initially wary but gradually opened up. But Issac was infinitely free from this.

‘It’s because he has such a mind that he could describe demons that way.’

It’s fate. Yes, fate. No one but Issac could have written Biography of Xenon.

If it had been someone other than Issac, they would have portrayed demons as time bombs or no different from devils. Only Issac writes about demons that way.

In the end, it’s fate to fall completely for him. What if the author of Biography of Xenon had been someone other than Issac?

Such an assumption is meaningless. As mentioned earlier, only Issac, who treats discrimination against demons as “trivial,” could have written Biography of Xenon.

The man who said demons are more human than humans. Could any demon not be captivated by him?

‘I’m fortunate. To be the first demon to recognize his true value.’

By his side, she could truly live as a normal “person.” What a fateful encounter this is.

But having already made one mistake, she needs to approach carefully now. Moreover, with the white-haired girl firmly positioned by his side, she must be cautious.

On the outside, she will act as usual… but when they are alone, she will reveal her true heart.

“Just wait… just wait a little, Issac. I will… Ah! This isn’t the time.”

Twisting her body and muttering, she suddenly remembered something and jumped up from the bed. She went to the desk, sat in the chair, and took out a sheet of paper.

‘First, a letter… but how do I send it to the boys’ dormitory? Will it look strange?’

Cecilly began writing while pondering this happy dilemma.

‘I’ll approach gradually while treating him as a benefactor. If I approach as a woman, it might be burdensome.’

She is the princess of Helium. And Issac is the young master of an ordinary baronial family. Naturally, it would be burdensome.

But what if they meet as the author of Biography of Xenon and its reader? Issac might be able to reduce his burden somewhat.

‘Hmm… is this okay? Writing a letter to someone you love is difficult…’

In the end, she stayed up all night.