Ch.51Memory

“How dare you betray us after being hailed as our savior all this time! Do you think you can be forgiven by the heavens for this? What did we ever do wrong!”

“What? Savior? Hailed? Ha, I don’t care about others, but you idiots have no right to say that. Did you ever grant any of my requests? When I suggested teaching magic to talented commoners to make use of their abilities, who rejected it saying magic was the exclusive domain of nobles? When I taught healing magic to try to save even one more life, who beheaded the soldier who used it, claiming it was blasphemy? And then when we secretly taught it and started seeing results, who suddenly gave permission as if doing us a favor and acted like it was their achievement all along?”

“O-of course! Magic is only for those with noble blue blood—”

“Shut your mouth. I’m not finished talking. Fine. I could have tolerated just that. Whatever nonsense you spouted in the past, basic magic eventually became available to soldiers. Not thanks to morons like you, but thanks to me. You took credit for the improved efficiency of the soldiers while still badmouthing the ‘lowly commoners’ for using magic behind closed doors. I even tolerated that… but then…”

“…If you wanted to act like complete bastards, you should have at least known where to draw the line, you sons of bitches.”

“Crossing the line? What are you talking about!”

“Are you pretending not to know, or do you really not know? Whatever, it doesn’t matter either way. You must have heard about it, right? The woman you killed because people followed her more than the idiots holed up in the palace. Remember when we were supposed to ambush an enemy detachment but ended up being ambushed ourselves? I wonder who arranged that, hmm?”

“We know nothing of this! How could we have known they would be lying in wait there!”

“No. You knew. There’s a butler among you, right? I dug through his brain and extracted his memories. That bastard committed all sorts of vile acts. It’s laughable. So many lives were sacrificed to protect scum like you, and while we were dying like dogs on the front lines, you were busy with your disgusting schemes behind our backs.”

“You saw memories? That’s forbidden alchemy only used by demons! To claim to be our savior while colluding with demons is treason—”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut that damn mouth?!”

“AAAARGH! My throat! My throat!”

“You should never have touched that woman, you bastards! You shouldn’t have killed her just because people followed her instead of worthless trash like you! What do you think kept the front lines intact? What do you think maintained the soldiers’ morale?! It was thanks to that woman you lured into a trap and murdered!”

“That’s not true, Savior! That woman dared to plot rebellion! She presumed to advise the King directly and tried to kill us nobles! We nobles shed our noble blood alongside common folk— GACK?!”

“Are you desecrating the names of the dead now? Knowing full well that the nobles who actually fought alongside commoners are all dead?! Knowing that the only reason you’re still alive is because, unlike those real nobles, you were cowering in the palace?!”

“B-blood! Blood! Where are the royal guards! Kill this man immediately! Guards! The Savior has betrayed us! GUAAAARDS!”

“I’m… I’m not that damn Savior. I just… just… want to go home. I fought for over ten years. I was pulled from reading a novel into this world, and I did my best. But what about you? While I was fighting desperately, losing friends and comrades, earning nothing but an empty title of ‘Savior,’ what were you doing? Hiding in here enjoying your last luxuries? Or perhaps plotting to side with the demons?”

“S-stay back! What do you intend to do with us!”

“I made a deal with the Demon Lord. If I help the demons win this war, he’ll send me back to my original world in return. You probably can’t understand this, but it was a fact I only told one person. He said he discovered it by digging through the memories of a corpse. I asked for the body to be returned, but he said it had dissolved during the process. Funny, isn’t it? It’s hilarious. Laugh. Why aren’t you laughing?”

“S-stay away! Stay awa— AAAAARGH!”

“This isn’t what we agreed on! You said you’d send me back to my original world! But… but why…?”

“Didn’t I tell you? To make us win the war. It is only with your death that we truly achieve victory.”

“…So it was a lie? All of it?”

“It wasn’t a lie. From now on, you will grant salvation to the remaining humans, and in return, that entity called ‘Goddess’ will send you back to your original world. Look, see the millions of humans covering the plains. Humans who shed tears from their eyes, hold weapons in their hands, and beg you with their mouths to die for them. By sacrificing yourself, you can save all these humans. Truly a fitting end for someone with the title of ‘Savior.'”

“…Don’t make me laugh. Stop it. Why do I have to do this… why do I have to end up like this… why me…?”

“My, my. So not a single one survived in the end? How strange. I didn’t brainwash you or control your body. Did you kill all those millions of humans who were begging you to sacrifice yourself just once? Of your own free will? Couldn’t you hear them crying out that they didn’t want to die? I wonder if that’s behavior befitting someone with the title of ‘Savior.'”

“You weren’t going to save them even if I died. This is the right choice.”

“I was planning to save them. To keep them as livestock for generations, using them as our food source. I do not lie. That would still be preserving their lives, would it not?”

“…See? You never intended to protect them anyway.”

“Hmm? Why are you raising your weapon? Do you still intend to do more? Besides you, there are no humans left except for the livestock we’ve kept. Are you planning to face our entire army alone?”

“You ask what I’m trying to do? That’s already decided.”

“What I do best.”

The morning sunlight hit my eyes. I returned from memory to reality. The last answer I gave back then was still forming on my lips.

Reflexively, I checked my right hand. The azure blade Eternity was gripped in it. My hand was clenched so tightly that veins bulged at my wrist, and my palm had turned pale white.

‘Of all times.’

I dismissed Eternity and got up with a foul taste in my mouth. Why did I have to dream about that now, of all times?

My mouth tasted bitter. It seemed I would have to postpone thinking about how to develop Brunhild for quite a while.

“Mmm… is it morning already, Mira?”

With a rustle, Priscilla rose from the same bed beside me. She wore an unbuttoned white shirt with only black lingerie above and below.

They say humans are creatures of adaptation. At first, I was horrified just by the fact that Priscilla was sleeping next to me, but now I didn’t even react to that sight. It was just another night we’d spent together.

“Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fi—”

I was about to reflexively tell her I was fine and not to worry, but I realized that even as a white lie, my current state was far from okay. How could I be alright after memories I had deliberately buried deep in my mind had resurfaced?

“…No. I don’t think I’m okay.”

Priscilla’s eyes widened as if she hadn’t expected this answer. She reached out and pulled me close. My head was buried between her breasts, and her arms wrapped around me from the sides and back.

“Then let’s stay like this until you feel better.”

The blanket flew over to cover us both, as if by magic. The air inside quickly began to warm. I could feel sweat slowly seeping from her cleavage.

“Should we skip class again today?”

“Wow, you’re really popular. How many gifts are there?”

“I rejected all the hospital visits, so they just sent presents instead.”

“Good thing I didn’t come empty-handed. Here’s your gift.”

“What’s that? Flowers?”

“Giving money would seem thoughtless, and I don’t think you need anything else. Tell me if there’s something specific you want.”

“No, nothing like that. Flowers are enough. They’re much better than those burdensome gifts over there.”

“Right? I’ve got a good eye for these things. I’ll put them by the window, so take care of them so they don’t wilt. Though it’s fine if they do. I can always bring more.”

After placing the vase on the windowsill, Rosaria approached the pile of gifts on the table and began examining them. They were all sent after people heard I was sick and missing lectures.

Among them were gifts from the Chairman, Ingrid, the Crown Prince, and the Sword Saint. I didn’t bother checking who sent the dozens of others.

They were probably just people trying to establish connections with me. Regardless of how I handled their gifts, they would be the ones who needed to bend.

“Wait, what did the Sword Saint send? Elixir diluted to 1/10? Isn’t he at the palace right now?”

I had the exact same thought when I first saw it. The other three were at the academy, so that made sense, but I couldn’t figure out how the Sword Saint knew to send this. Did he have a spy at the academy?

There was also a gift from Roxanna, which I was going to throw away without eating, but after checking it, it turned out to be just an ordinary fruit basket, so I kept it.

I don’t know why, but she seems to be trying to get close to me, so I’ll pretend to accept it, milk her for what she’s worth, and then expose her true nature.

“But what were you sick with that made you miss lectures?”

“The sickness was just an excuse. I was just feeling a bit down.”

“…How depressed were you exactly?”

After debating whether to tell them, I decided there was no reason to hide it. Neither of them seemed the type to go around spreading secrets.

“I had a dream.”

“A dream? What kind?”

“About my first world.”

“Oh… I see.”

Rosaria gave an awkward response. Probably because I had intentionally avoided mentioning my first possession until now.

“Honestly, I was pretty worn out back then. Fighting for over ten years with no end to the war in sight, actually starting to lose ground, all my close comrades and friends dead, all the competent nobles dead and only incompetent idiots left in charge. It really lived up to the ‘dark fantasy’ tag.”

But as I continued speaking, not only Rosaria but also Priscilla perked up their ears.

“I was so exhausted that I stupidly accepted a deal. They said if I helped the demons win the war, they would send me back to my original world. So while publicly insisting we had to fight to the end, I killed all the higher-ups who were secretly plotting how to surrender while maintaining their power, and then I surrendered.”

“…You were betrayed.”

She seemed to have figured out what had happened to me. I nodded bitterly.

“They armed the humans they had captured as prisoners and sent them out, saying that if I, their savior, sacrificed myself for them, the goddess would be moved and send me back to my original world… Who would believe that? I killed everyone who begged me to die for them, killed all the demons who betrayed me, even took the Demon Lord’s head, and when I came to my senses, there was no one left in the world but me.”

When I painfully searched for the people the demons said they had kept as livestock, they were all dead. Those who had survived by eating corpses didn’t last long either.

Whether they died of starvation or thirst, it was clear their end had been extremely painful.

“…”

“…”

Priscilla and Rosaria were at a loss for words, the explanation apparently more horrific than they had imagined. I couldn’t help but smile wryly.

“Well, that’s the story. It’s not something I’d normally tell others, and I didn’t want to dredge it up from my memories, but here we are. Besides, you two aren’t strangers to me, are you?”

“While I appreciate you saying that…”

They still seemed uncomfortable.

“Um, sorry for asking you to tell us?”

“It’s fine. It’s all in the past anyway. I don’t need an apology. You don’t have to keep the mood so down.”

It was a method I had forced myself to adopt. Since there’s no benefit in suffering over past events, I tried to forcibly forget them from my memory. Even if similar situations appeared, I would never react to them.

I don’t know about others, but it definitely worked for me. I was able to live normally until I had this dream. Even now, I’ll be fine after a few more hours.

“Still…”

Still hesitating despite my words, Rosaria made what seemed like a big decision and carefully pulled open the chest area of her turtleneck. The silver underwear containing her bursting chest was clearly visible.

“D-do you want to touch my breasts?”

“…Why?”

I asked incredulously, while Priscilla, who had been worriedly clinging to me, glared at her.

Though to be fair, Priscilla was still in her nightwear too, so there wasn’t much difference.

“W-well, you know. They say men feel better when they touch breasts? Mine are really big so they should feel good to touch… Oh, is that expression inappropriate…?”

“Please dress properly, you exhibitionist pervert.”

“What? Exhibitionist? Hey! I was just trying to make you feel better! Take back my concern!”