Ch.515Episode 19 – HELLDIVERS

# For Frederick, the biggest troublemaker might obviously be Veronica, but in this incident, the true troublemakers weren’t Veronica but the four illegal immigrants.

From Grand Duchess Alexandra Petrovna who crossed the warp gate with bribes to Lucia, Francesca, and Akande who followed without passports.

From the Abas government’s perspective, there couldn’t be worse security offenders (especially since the Grand Duchess had a criminal record of raiding an embassy), but Abas decided to simply turn a blind eye rather than arrest these criminals.

It was actually closer to giving up than forgiveness, but isn’t it true that people’s words often have different meanings?

These criminals’ flagrant disregard for international conventions—treating them as casually as traffic laws prohibiting jaywalking—left even diplomatic experts throwing up their hands in defeat, making any protests futile at this point.

Since things had come to this, it would be best to hide these illegal immigrants somewhere quiet and then send them away, as if it had all been a planned event.

But such an important task of dealing with these extraordinary guests couldn’t be assigned to just any public official.

After a marathon meeting of about three minutes, the Abas government concluded that these national security-level bombs should be dumped on a bomb disposal expert.

In other words, they assigned them to me.

“Heavens above! Why do you subject only me to such trials!”

Immediately after receiving orders to take responsibility and resolve the situation smoothly, I ran outside and screamed at the sky.

Assigning work to someone who just finished being investigated today!

And making me clean up a mess that wasn’t even my responsibility!

Of course, if heaven had heard me, it would have questioned my series of dubious statements, but none of that mattered. Even being falsely imprisoned couldn’t be more unjust than this. Wasn’t this pure slander? (A half-correct claim)

As I pounded the ground and spewed all manner of curses, a thick hand firmly landed on the spy’s shoulder.

It was Akande.

“Do not be sad.”

The warrior from desert nomad origins looked down at me with profound eyes, like a great sage. As if understanding my feelings completely, he patted my shoulder and lowered his voice.

“Giving up is easy.”

“…Get lost, you bastard!”

## Episode 19 – HELLDIVERS

The Grand Duchess and her three companions’ chaotic illegal entry fiasco put many people in difficult positions, and the three most aggrieved and troubled people in this incident were:

Camilla, who faced no dangerous situation whatsoever but was severely scolded by her professor after citizens misunderstood and reported her to the press.

Frederick, who was pushed to the brink of cutting ties with his two daughters-in-law (not really) and then made responsible for resolving this mess that he didn’t create.

And finally.

Veronica, who rushed to Abas to resolve the illegal entry commotion caused by her two lovely sisters, only to be thrown out at the threshold of a private home.

“This isn’t right! How could the Major do this to me?”

The unfortunate woman Veronica, who ended up rolling in the dirt, was raising her voice in indignation.

She had been shouting loudly from the time she left the residence until now, meaning she had been causing a disturbance for at least three hours.

“I told you I was in a hurry. I already explained the situation.”

“No! No matter how urgent the situation, how could you just pick me up and throw me down the stairs!”

The saint, whose dignity had fallen to the ground (literally), grabbed the other person’s shoulders and shook them vigorously.

That other person was, of course, me. After all, I was the one who had thrown Veronica outside the entrance.

Being forcibly thrown to the ground is an extremely humiliating and unpleasant experience.

Even a speechless animal would become angry if someone threw it, let alone a sentient being with personhood—it would be fortunate if such an experience ended with mere anger.

In this context, Veronica’s anger was perfectly reasonable. The problem was that the edge of that anger was directed at me, and that Veronica’s personality was particularly insufferable.

“What, what did I do so wrong! Why am I the only one getting all this trouble…!”

The 58th saint of the Order, Veronica, unable to bear the injustice, repeatedly engaged in childish outbursts like pulling out her hair and throwing it in all directions, getting down on all fours and barking like a dog, or jumping out the window.

Veronica’s antics might have been somewhat exaggerated through my mental filter (professionally known as colored glasses). (In fact, they were quite distorted.)

Nevertheless, Veronica’s misbehavior was particularly severe today, and for some reason, her anger was pouring out at me.

“When I heard my sisters caused trouble, I came rushing in the middle of the night worried something might have happened to you, Major. And you throw me out the front door just for playing one prank?!”

…She probably wouldn’t know.

Not only were my shoulders being shaken, but my entire body was trembling, and my soul felt wrung out. Unable to endure any longer, I called for help.

“Sister Rebecca! There’s a mad dog running around here, please take her away and give her a rabies shot— Wait, why are you closing the door?”

“Good luck.”

“Excuse me? Sister? …Inquisition people…?”

But the Inquisition staff summoned from various regions all fled.

Before I could finish speaking, the inquisitors, led by Priestess Rebecca, quickly closed the door and fled down the corridor.

“……”

Of course, from the inquisitors’ perspective, there was not even a speck of reason to help a foreign official who had thrown out their saint. Even if they wanted to help, there was no other way.

Better to dive into hell teeming with demons than to deal with Saint Veronica in her enraged state.

Since a brave foreigner had voluntarily decided to handle the saint, saying “don’t come back.” (The thought that this translation might be incorrect is merely an illusion.)

The inquisitors decided to make a run for it, admiring his tearful sacrifice.

*

“…What have you been doing and where to look so miserable?”

“I was beaten.”

“I see it was the Great Saint’s doing.”

The Grand Duchess clicked her tongue as if she found my situation truly pitiful.

Veronica’s anger, which I had tasted after a long time, was truly sticky and intense.

The way she grabbed my shoulder with one hand, sobbing while delivering a barrage of punches and kicks, was so artful that I had no chance to properly dodge.

I raised my pen to the notebook I was holding and began.

“Could you explain how you came to Abas?”

My voice came out nasally, perhaps because of the tissue stuffed in my nose.

Lucia looked at me with concern, Francesca couldn’t speak, and Akande laughed heartily—that’s how terrible my appearance was.

Perhaps she found my appearance pitiful? Or did she feel regretful?

Grand Duchess Alexandra Petrovna created ice chunks from thin air, wrapped them in a cloth, and handed them to me.

“Hold this while we talk.”

“Yes.”

“So, you’re curious about how I came to Abas? I should start from the moment I received news about the child.”

The Grand Duchess filled a glass with ice and alcohol and slowly began to respond to the investigation.

And about 30 minutes later.

With the ice pack the Grand Duchess had made pressed against my bruised face, I handed over the notebook containing the investigation results to the military intelligence branch officials.

That concluded my work.

“……”

Whether it was a complaint or punishment, they said I should investigate first to understand what happened. Leoni asked why these accidents only happen to me.

I was honestly curious too.

“What sins did I commit in my past life… damn it…”

As I sat on a bench in front of the lodging, sighing with complaints, I heard it.

Sabzak, sabzak—the sound of footsteps on grass brushed my ears. When I looked up, a familiar person emerged from among the dense garden trees.

“Officer?”

“Francesca.”

Perhaps she had been taking a walk, lost in thought while staring into space. Francesca greeted me cheerfully.

After carefully examining the path with her violet-like eyes, she smiled like a painting. Then, as if glad to have run into me, she sat down on the edge of the bench and lightly rested her back.

“What a coincidence meeting you here. Did you have business in the garden?”

“Nothing special… I was just on my way in and stopped for a moment. And you?”

“Just taking a walk.”

Having said that, Francesca raised one hand to show me, and in it was a sea foam stone pipe.

“Smoking is prohibited indoors. Magic tobacco is no exception.”

Quality magic tobacco produces soft smoke, and well-aged flakes burn at regular intervals, creating fine layers.

After tamping down the ember, feeling the faint smoke tickle the tip of her nose, Francesca removed the pipe from her lips. Naturally and skillfully.

Magic tobacco and regular tobacco had little in common, but watching her smoke magic tobacco made me want to smoke a cigarette.

Actually, I would have smoked even if Francesca hadn’t been there. It had been quite a happy day, after all. That’s irony, of course.

With a flick of the lighter that made a popping sound and gave off an oily smell, I was about to blow smoke through my teeth when she, who had been silent for a while, suddenly spoke to me.

“You’ve been smoking more frequently lately, haven’t you?”

“Yes. I think so too.”

“You must be going through a lot. To admit it like that.”

It was a question that wasn’t really a question. When calculating the percentage of hardships in my life, about 60% were related to this group.

Naturally, Francesca also accounted for a certain portion of that 60%. She asked the question while watching me smoke, but there was a smile on her lips.

It was a hint that she had a rough idea of the reason.

Just like “someone’s” sister. She only learned the bad habits.

“Yes. I’m having a very difficult time. By the way, where is everyone now?”

“Mr. Akande said traveling abroad was more tiring than he imagined, so he went to bed early, and Miss Camilla was called by her grandmother.”

So Akande was passed out sleeping, and Camilla was getting lectured by the Grand Duchess.

And as for Lucia…

“Saint Lucia is… well, trying to restrain her sister. You know what I mean, right?”

Francesca added with a world-weary smile. Without even thinking—and I didn’t particularly want to think about it—I could imagine what kind of hardship and adversity Lucia was facing.

The junior saint threw herself bodily into calming her senior who was causing a disturbance. Though she didn’t know the exact circumstances, from what she observed through the door crack, Lucia had grabbed Veronica’s neck in a headlock and jumped onto the sofa.

Should I be amazed at Lucia’s insubordination, subduing her sister with strength that could flip a car, or should I be surprised at Veronica’s outrageous behavior that warranted being put in a headlock by her younger sister?

Either way, neither of them could be considered great people, as they were cut from the same cloth.

I closed my eyes and just nodded.

“It must be chaotic.”

“It’s everyday life.”

“No, calling that everyday life is a bit…”

As I spoke with disgust, Francesca silently smiled.

Darkness had fully descended on the garden. The lodging selected by the Abas government was a building located near the outskirts of the capital.

A lakeside bathed in moonlight in front, a large mountain behind. It was in a prime location with good water and air, and it was also quiet due to the sparse population.

Just 1-2 hours ago, the place had been bustling with diplomats and intelligence officers dispatched from embassies and consulates for security checks, searching the building inside and out, even the roadside stones and trees. But as soon as the security check ended, everyone packed up and withdrew, leaving the area as quiet as a mouse.

The bright moonlight revealed a full moon.

Francesca, who had been burning magic tobacco while gazing at the silver-shining lake, slowly moved her lips.

“I’m sorry for causing a commotion. I should have stopped my grandmother.”

I waved my hand dismissively and added that it was fine.

“It’s fine. It’s all in the past now. Rest as much as you want. It’s not my money anyway.”

“Are you planning to return to your home?”

“I should, right? My family is waiting.”

Actually, that’s a lie. While it was true that my family was waiting, what mattered now wasn’t reuniting with them but explaining the situation.

I absolutely needed to resolve the family atmosphere that had been shattered by the third daughter-in-law incident.

First, I planned to quickly knock out Ayla using alcohol, a bat, or whatever means necessary, then gather my parents, brother, and sister in one place to “persuade” them. Since I had been misunderstood due to Veronica’s prank, I needed to end this before the misunderstanding deepened.

An 8-inch monkey wrench, baseball bat, hammer, crowbar, and so on. As I was contemplating the most effective means of persuasion,

As if struggling to begin speaking, Francesca, who had been pondering for a while, opened the conversation like this:

“Actually, I wanted to come greet you today.”

“You?”

“Yes.”

She smiled gently.

“We’re lovers, after all. Even if it’s fake.”

The fictional relationship we had created months ago to deceive the orc arms dealer. She mentioned that story and narrowed her eyes.

“Well… it might be funny to say this now, but I hope you don’t misunderstand about my sister or Saint Lucia. My sister’s pranks might be a bit—no, very mischievous, but I’m sure she had no ill intentions.”

“Oh, um… is that so?”

“Yes. Except for the part where she often gets angry over strange things.”

Tap, she shook her pipe to dust off the magic tobacco, pausing her speech for a moment.

After magically cleaning the residue and fallen tobacco from inside the pipe, Francesca rose and concluded the conversation.

“If my sister keeps bothering you, please contact me. If you want to vent, you can talk to me.”

I looked at her rising slowly with a calm gaze.

“You’re not suggesting I shouldn’t go home tonight, are you?”

“Of course not. You should definitely go. Your family is waiting.”

Francesca answered with a bright smile. Aha!

I brightened up then and added, clapping my hands:

“Then please go beat up Veronica now. So I can get revenge for being hit earlier.”

“I can’t.”

“Ah, why not?”

“Revenge is something you should carry out with your own hands.”

*

I had neatly completed the work assigned by the company and provided contact information to Camilla and the Grand Duchess in case anything happened.

It was really time to go home now.

There was nothing more to do by staying, and getting involved with Veronica would only lead to noisy commotion. Disappearing like smoke was the wisest approach.

“Caught you!”

“What is this!”

On my merry way home, just as I was passing through the lobby of the lodging, someone ran up and grabbed me.

It was Veronica.

“How dare you try to escape?!”

The saint, who had pounced like a tiger, kicked me in the chest and then grabbed both my legs, dragging me like a killer from a third-rate slasher film.

Thus, I was kidnapped in the middle of my commute home and dragged to her room.

What on earth is going on? Why was Veronica, who was supposedly subdued by Lucia, running all the way to the lobby?

Too shocked to speak properly, I just rolled my eyes around, when I spotted a corpse—no, Lucia—slumped on a sofa in the corner of the room.

“Lucia. What are you doing there?”

“…Taking a break. Sister was causing such a commotion.”

Lucia muttered with a haggard appearance, like a first-time part-timer trying to load and unload goods.

I could immediately assess the situation. So she couldn’t subdue Veronica either. Even she, who had beaten the cult leader and the captain with her bare fists and mace, failed to subdue this ferocious beast. Could there be a greater tragedy in the world?

“Ugh, you’ve already beaten me plenty earlier, can’t you let me go now?”

“No.”

I tried to negotiate, but Veronica snorted and showed her middle finger. Her obsidian-like gaze, swirling with emotions that could be joy or satisfaction, was particularly sparkling today and showed no sign of leaving me alone.

In the end, I lay spread-eagled on the floor and sighed deeply in resignation.

I’d better look into hair loss medication since I’m about to have some hair pulled out, and I should buy some pain patches since I’ll be suffering from muscle pain all day tomorrow due to bruises.

“Ggggh…!”

As the expected pain hit like a storm, Lucia could see it.

The sight of a cleric sitting on a civilian’s back like a cushion, grabbing handfuls of hair with both hands and pulling.

“You know your sins!”

“Who hit who first—AAAAGH…!”

“No, how was I supposed to know what happened at your house? I was at the cathedral until just 15 minutes ago!”

“……”

Lucia, who had been lying on the sofa regaining her energy, thought carefully. According to the bishop, her sister hadn’t been at the cathedral but had been caught slacking off somewhere.

To be precise, Veronica had been caught red-handed by the enforcement team while betting on the Crayfish Man (Druid: Crayfish transformation form) with the impressive record of 156 wins and 31 draws in 187 matches, during the “Abyssal Crayfish Monster vs. 46-year-old Crayfish Man Champion Title Defense Match” at the arena, but Lucia didn’t know these details.

How could one tell a junior that their senior had been caught gambling at an arena? It was utterly humiliating.

A normal person wouldn’t gamble in the first place, and after being caught by enforcement, they would normally be psychologically subdued for at least a day. But Veronica was not the type to be subdued by mere enforcement teams.

“How dare you insult me as a Satan devil in front of my sisters! I can’t stand it!”

“Even a devil wouldn’t pull out hair—AAACK…!”

“Just quietly take your beating!”

It was truly a harsh punishment. Especially harsh for having to witness the shameless sister’s misbehavior.

Unable to bear it any longer, Lucia once again subdued Veronica with a headlock and binding, allowing me, who had been suffering from her foul temper, to crawl out with a sigh of relief.

I slumped against the sofa with a half-enlightened expression. Meanwhile, Veronica was still causing a commotion in Lucia’s arms.

The saint, with a face flushed red and snorting, began pointing at me.

“Look, look, look at that, not even a word of apology. You should be hit in the mouth.”

“I’m sorry… please stop—”

“Is sorry enough?!”

When her cry of injustice burst out, silence descended as if cold water had been poured.

Both Lucia, who was restraining Veronica by putting her arms through her armpits, and I, who was sighing while leaning against the sofa, just blinked repeatedly.

“You asked for an apology, I apologized, and now you’re asking if an apology is enough… What kind of word game is this?”

“You need to show sincerity, sincerity.”

“What sincerity?”

As I began to question her incomprehensibly changeable attitude, Veronica silently began rubbing her thumb against her index finger vigorously.

Seeing that, I sighed involuntarily.

“You’re asking for money…?”

I’m so dumbfounded I can’t speak.

My deep sigh and the sound of Lucia smacking her own forehead rang out simultaneously. However, Veronica, who knew no shame, continued to make a fuss as if saying, “What, do I seem crazy to you?”

“…Sister, please.”

“Alright, alright. This time there’s fault on my side too, so it’s mutual responsibility and I’ll let it go.”

Veronica brushed off Lucia’s voice full of concern with a dismissive hand gesture. It was as if she was doing us a great favor.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t shake my suspicious gaze. Veronica was someone who could flip-flop on her words as easily as turning over her palm. In other words, there was no telling what kind of trouble she might cause next.

“……”

“Why are you looking at me like that? Your gaze is quite irreverent.”

“I’m going home now, so if you have something to say, let’s talk next time. Tomorrow or the day after.”

“No way~ That won’t do. Where do you think you’re going?”

I knew this would happen. The saying “old habits die hard” couldn’t be more true.

Veronica was starting to rev up again for some kind of scheme. Accordingly, my expression darkened rapidly, like someone who had lost money on Bitcoin.

Perhaps noticing this sign, Veronica approached with a strangely joyful nasal sound.

Her obsidian-like eyes sparkled between her narrowed eyelids, and she bent her waist and thrust her face in front of mine.

“When the Major threw me out earlier, I got hurt all over as I tumbled, you know?”

“Come on, Veronica, you’re a cleric. Why don’t you just cast a healing spell…”

“Tsk! My feelings were hurt, my feelings.”

I looked up at Veronica’s face as she made these nonsensical statements, then slowly lowered my gaze.

Hmm.

“You don’t seem particularly hurt to me…?”

“Where are you looking right now!”

At that moment, SMACK! The saint’s palm struck my head as if punishing my irreverent gaze.

Focusing straight ahead with enlightened eyes, I was hit by her hand that shot out like a roe deer, causing me to roll on the floor. Regardless, Veronica quickly straightened her bent upper body and covered herself with a disgusted expression.

“Ahem… Anyway, I want compensation for the psychological damage I suffered today. So stop being difficult and just come along obediently.”

The way she placed her hands on her hips and thrust out her chest was quite bold, but to me, it was just bluster.

To this, I was about to retort, “I need to go home today, so let’s talk later,”

When Veronica made a threat.

“If you keep trying to run away, I might visit your home.”

I turned around while turning the doorknob.

“You don’t think I’ll be scared by such—”

“I’ll bring all my sisters.”

“Oh my, Saint. Please tell me specifically what damages you’ve suffered. Yes.”

When I jumped up and answered, Veronica brightened and smiled radiantly. It was truly a beautiful smile. At least on the surface.

The saint, wearing an infinitely benevolent smile, clapped her hands together.

“Don’t worry. It won’t be anything unreasonable.”

And then, as if finding it quite amusing, she added:

“You might even like it?”