Ch.512Side Episode – I Suffered All Kinds of Slander

# How Absurd It Was

At first, I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t even speak.

Girlfriend? What nonsense is this?

And multiple daughters-in-law? I’ve heard of Chinese men having three wives, but never of someone having multiple daughters-in-law (though there is a legendary figure who had 29 mothers-in-law). And to think I was supposedly the protagonist of this story.

This was slander of the highest order.

“Speak clearly. What kind of nonsense are you talking about?”

I pressed Jerry hyung about this gibberish that was like someone banging on my window with a 16-bit hammer in the middle of my sleep, but I didn’t get a clear answer.

“Um… I’m not sure how to explain this, bro.”

“What are you- Never mind. I’ll be there soon, just so you know.”

What on earth had happened to cause such chaos at both the company and with Jerry?

I hung up the phone and sighed in frustration.

# Side Episode – I Suffered All Kinds of Slander

The diplomatic quarter in the center of Abas capital resembled a multilateral summit venue.

Diplomats from embassies moved around in groups. The Kiyen Empire, the Order, the Magic Tower, Al-Yabd, Fatalia… even staff from the Zamria Federation Embassy were visible.

Behind them was the diplomatic security company. The soldiers stationed along the walls wore bulletproof vests unlike usual, and the tense faces of the platoon leader and deputy platoon leader exuded anxiety.

The fact that the security company, which normally didn’t even wear proper helmets, had issued bulletproof vests and service weapons indicated something was seriously wrong.

Add to that police cars with flashing lights, foreign journalists, and high-ranking officials milling about.

It wasn’t strange that Camilla and I were looking around with wide eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“I have no idea…”

Though I didn’t know the details, it was clear that the series of events unfolding were related to my family. I declined the change, tossed a wad of bills to the taxi driver, and quickly entered the diplomatic compound.

“Jerry, Adela!”

I ran through the cool night air.

Before the security company soldiers guarding the entrance could shout anything, I successfully entered the compound first, strode up the stairs, and flung open the front door.

I peered inside through the gap.

As my panting breath brushed my ears, warm air enveloped my cold sweat.

The Nostrim family gathered cozily in the living room, and the party sitting across from them—

“Ah, you’re here.”

“Military Attaché, you’ve arrived?”

“…Huh?”

They greeted me quite cheerfully.

Francesca waving her hand gently.

Lucia sitting modestly and bowing.

Akande laughing heartily while munching on snacks.

“…?”

Why are these people who should be in Zamria here?

The moment these familiar faces appeared before me, my thoughts froze as if someone had pressed a pause button.

It was a situation beyond bewilderment, bordering on absurdity. So I simply stopped thinking.

As I stood there blankly, not even thinking to return their greetings, Camilla, who had arrived late, peeked her head in to check inside the compound.

“Huh?”

A look of bewilderment flashed across Camilla’s face. She seemed not to have expected this situation.

“Why are you all here?”

“Why else would we be here, you insolent girl.”

“Oh, Professor, why are youuuu—AHHH!”

Camilla, who had been looking around inside, was suddenly grabbed and lifted into the air. The dark-colored magic of the Guardian School had bound her in the blink of an eye.

The old man who had caught his voraciously eating disciple clicked his tongue and shook his head. As if he’d witnessed something unbearable, as if he couldn’t live because of her.

For a moment I rubbed my eyes vigorously, thinking I was seeing things, but the mysterious silver hair didn’t disappear.

“No way…”

The Grand Duke came here too?

“Because of you, I’ve committed the discourtesy of visiting a household I’ve never met without notice. Why are you in such a state?”

“Why are you doing this to meee?! I don’t understand what you’re talking abouuut!”

“Oh my. She doesn’t even know what she did wrong. What am I to do with you…”

“GYAAAAH!”

Leaving behind Camilla’s voice as she struggled while suspended in the air, I finally opened my lips, which had been gaping like a goldfish.

“I, I thought you were all in the Zamria Federation…”

I couldn’t even string my words together properly, I was so dumbfounded.

What situation is this? Why did my companions appear at the compound, and why is that old geezer (the Grand Duke) in the back room tormenting his disciple?

I wished someone would explain quickly. Just then, Francesca, who had been sitting quietly, began to speak with a small exclamation of “Ah.”

“We were waiting for news from you, Military Attaché, but when there was no contact, we came.”

“…Do people cross warp gates just because they can’t reach someone?”

“Of course, that’s not why we came… We happened to receive some interesting breaking news.”

The alchemist quietly pointed to the TV behind her.

The TV, which no one was watching, was continuously broadcasting breaking news. A muted announcer was talking away, while a line of text scrolled quickly below.

[Camilla Rowell involved in an unexpected chase through the capital city of Abas…]

Right next to it, footage of Camilla running away frantically with a plaza in the background was playing, labeled “Submitted Footage.”

Only then did I finally understand the whole situation.

I couldn’t hold back my exclamation.

“Ah, shit!”

*

Here’s how it all started.

At the time when Frederick was spending pleasant time (spy training) with Camilla, the Grand Duke and the others were waiting in the Zamria Federation.

“Will the child be alright on her own?”

“You needn’t worry. She’s not going to a dangerous country.”

“When did I say I was concerned about her safety? I’m merely worried that my scatter-brained disciple might not even be able to find her way properly.”

“Why would she get lost in the capital of Abas…? Such needless worry…”

Today was a momentous day. It was the day Frederick’s investigation would end.

Though he had participated in the delivery of righteous and just (and unordered) democracy, Frederick unfortunately made a “small mistake” by not obtaining approval from his superiors, so he had to be investigated by the Abas government.

(Of course, this is a claim that a military court would have dismissed as nonsense)

Even if it was an absurd accusation, it was still the Abas government’s decision. Foreigners had no right to dispute it. All they could do was check if Frederick was okay and comfort him.

So the Grand Duke and the others wanted to go to Abas together to welcome their colleague who was being “released” (he was never imprisoned, not even in a detention center), but unfortunately, due to various circumstances, only Camilla left alone.

“How can I not worry? Even Abas is a foreign country to the child. Anyone can get lost in an unfamiliar country…”

The master sighed deeply, concerned about her disciple who had gone far away. However, Camilla’s colleagues—Lucia, Francesca, and Akande—weren’t concerned at all.

“When will the Military Attaché return?”

“It will be difficult for him to return immediately. According to the Foreign Ministry, there are many restrictions on the position of military attaché…”

“I’ve heard that sometimes officers seconded from the Defense Ministry join deployed units. If that’s the case, it might not be impossible.”

“We’ll have to wait for the Abas government’s decision. Whatever happens, ultimately the Abas Defense Ministry will make the decision.”

“By the way, what shall we do for dinner?”

“I know. Nearby city. Very delicious restaurant.”

“Oh, that’s welcome news.”

Whether Alexandra Petrova was worried or not, the three were busy choosing what to eat for dinner.

The Grand Duke criticized them, saying, “Aren’t you worried at all?” but the group didn’t even snort in response.

Would the Abas government really fire Frederick? Even if they couldn’t give him the military attaché position, they would obviously send him back in some other capacity. And Camilla wasn’t the type to get lost as the Grand Duke worried.

What is Camilla, a six-year-old child?

Stop being so clingy—

Silver-haired woman. Finally gone senile— and so on.

Various insults were filtered (polite version: one must not forget that the old woman with dying brain cells is a Grand Magician) and poured out.

In this situation, Alexandra Petrova had no choice. As they said, her disciple wasn’t a child. Why fret like she’d abandoned a child by the water?

“Perhaps I worried needlessly… Tsk.”

“You should trust the disciple you raised yourself, Grandmother.”

“Yes. Your words are truly right. Have you all decided on dinner?”

“Not yet. Grand Duke, please come and take a look too.”

Until this point, no one was particularly worried. Even when Camilla’s contact was a bit delayed, they assumed she was “busy catching up on a month’s worth of conversation.”

But even after neatly eliminating criminals, even after eating dinner and returning to their lodgings.

There was still no contact.

“What could it be?”

“Perhaps something has happened.”

“Don’t say such ominous things. Let’s wait just one more hour.”

As they all whispered while looking at the mobile phone that showed no sign of ringing.

Akande, who was flipping through TV channels, jumped up with a shriek, drawing everyone’s attention. There on the screen was a familiar red pig running for her life!

The master, startled by her disciple’s escape scene, rushed to the warp gate, and the three others followed, not even thinking to pack their belongings.

“…Excuse me, customers? You are from countries that don’t have visa-free agreements with the Abas government. First, you need to obtain visas from the embassy, then visit again—”

“Abas.”

“Excuse me?”

“Abas.”

“Can’t you hear me…?”

Although there was a commotion with immigration officials blocking the four due to visa issues, fortunately, the Grand Duke was capable of solving this problem.

She opened the warp gate in a very easy, quick, and amicable way.

In other words, she used bribes.

Thus, the four succeeded in flying straight to Abas after buying off officials with pocket change.

Although they were quickly caught for not bringing visas and passports, the entry itself was successful. The problem was that it was illegal entry.

There was a minor friction with Abas immigration officials who noticed the illegal entry. (???: Emergency, emergency! Riot police! Call the riot police quickly!)

From the riot police who responded initially to the special forces who arrived at the scene via teleportation magic, many commanders faced the crisis of forced retirement as they were successively breached. (☆☆: Is unit management difficult these days? / Personnel Staff Department: Commanders who have been named, please report to the replacement unit starting tomorrow^^)

Anyway, they successfully entered Abas, so all’s well that ends well.

That’s how it went.

*

“……”

After the Grand Duke’s explanation, I was half out of my mind.

…The warp gate was breached? That’s essentially the airport in global terms.

In South Korea, a “Grade A” national important facility would be equivalent to a major city’s power grid, financial market computer network, large reservoirs and dams, and KBS. Nuclear power plants are also “Grade A” important facilities. The Presidential Office, Ministry of National Defense, National Intelligence Service, and Sejong City government complex are also included in “Grade A” facilities.

The security of the warp gate, which is essentially this world’s airport, was undoubtedly rigorous.

But this crazy, demented old woman breached it all. Moreover, once in Zamria and once in Abas. Twice.

“Ah…”

Frederick felt dizzy at the thought.

The military and police cordon was breached by the Grand Duke’s disguise magic, commanders who unknowingly botched the operation collectively went to check the water temperature only to be restrained by their staff, and the Kiyen Empire’s Foreign Minister experienced Season 103701 fainting spell.

But none of that mattered to Frederick.

What really mattered was.

“…Everyone. What exactly did you say?”

“What do you mean?”

“To my family. What did you tell them that seems to have caused some misunderstandings…?”

Frederick gathered Lucia and Francesca to demand the truth. He asked what nonsense they had spouted to make his family talk about daughters-in-law and girlfriends.

And the two replied in a nonchalant tone.

As if it was nothing at all.

“Oh, you mean that?”

Francesca listed what had happened.

“When we first visited your home, they asked about the relationship between you and me.”

“…Wait. Why did they ask about your relationship with me?”

If everyone had visited together, there would have been no need to ask such questions. Frederick couldn’t help but ask out of curiosity.

To this, Francesca smiled slightly and said:

“There was a bit of a commotion. Everyone was too busy running away and got scattered.”

Thanks to the invisibility magic cast by the Grand Duke, they were able to escape the scene secretly, but the problem was that they scattered in their haste to escape.

They tried calling Camilla and Frederick urgently, but the calls didn’t go through. In the end, the three had to find their own way.

And the path the three chose was to visit the military attaché’s home.

They had come to meet their colleague anyway, and he was someone who might know what had happened to Camilla. Since things had turned out this way, they thought they might as well stay for a few days before returning. They all thought the same and moved accordingly.

The problem was that there was no way to communicate with each other.

Luckily, their opinions aligned so the meeting place was decided, but since they were scattered, each had to make their way to the destination as best they could.

“Who are you?”

“Excuse me. Is this the residence of Major Frederick Nostrim?”

“Yes, it is.”

For reference, Francesca was the first to arrive. Lucia was next.

In a normal situation, the two would have first identified themselves, sought the family’s understanding, and then entered the compound. But this was clearly an “abnormal situation.”

While the family would likely welcome precious guests whether they were alchemists or saints, the Abas government probably wouldn’t. If foreigners who should be in the Zamria Federation suddenly appeared in the middle of the capital with a “ta-da!” it would be like advertising “I entered illegally!”

They had no choice but to lie.

“Ah, I’m a friend of the Military Attaché.”

“I am an acquaintance of Frederick.”

Fortunately, the Nostrim family didn’t recognize Francesca and Lucia.

Logically, it was impossible for high-ranking officials from the Magic Tower and saints from the Order to visit sequentially in the middle of the night.

Even Adela (diplomatic official, iron rice bowl #2), who had worked in the Foreign Ministry for quite some time, only thought “Wow, what a beautiful person” and didn’t imagine these people were foreign dignitaries. She just thought they resembled someone.

“A friend? Ah, you must be the person Fred went out to meet. Please come in.”

“Acquaintance? Oh. Were there two people he was supposed to meet today…? Well, please come in. The weather is cold, so please wait inside with some tea.”

Jerry and Adela warmly welcomed the guests who had come to the compound.

Since they said they were acquaintances of the family, there was no reason to turn them away, and they knew too much about their brother to be people from a foreign company. Moreover, didn’t the first guest greet the later guest warmly?

So, the eldest son and daughter welcomed the guests without any suspicion.

And they asked about the relationship between their brother, who had set up an appointment but was wandering around somewhere, and the guests who had come in the middle of the night.

There was no special reason. They were just curious. Anyone would ask such a question if their sibling brought someone of the opposite sex home.

“By the way, what’s your relationship with our brother?”

“So, what’s your relationship with Fred?”

And.

Francesca, from a noble family, and Lucia, a clergy who had lived in a strict society. In their judgment, visiting someone else’s home without a valid reason was very rude. Especially if they hadn’t contacted in advance.

They needed to give a reason that the family could easily accept.

Francesca and Lucia quickly began operating their brains at 200%. What excuse would be good?

Saying they came from work was a poor choice. Neither the Magic Tower nor the Order had a Defense Ministry (more precisely, there were similar departments but the environment was completely different), and they knew nothing about it. This meant that even a brief conversation would quickly expose the lie.

It was also difficult to make excuses like being old acquaintances from the academy or childhood friends. Would the family not know their colleague’s friends?

Work and past. Both couldn’t be used. They had to give a reason the family didn’t know. Or a relationship they weren’t aware of.

Just then, a good answer came to mind.

“I’m his girlfriend.”

“…Lover, I am.”

To this, the eldest son and daughter of the Nostrim family, Jerry Nostrim and Adela Nostrim, thought:

Holy shit!

Our crazy brother has finally lost it! Two-timing with two women!

With this huge misunderstanding (or close to the truth), Jerry and Adela first guided the guests in, then immediately put their heads together for an emergency meeting. The two civil servants, who had witnessed in real-time the collapse of family and society, could only emit silent screams in panic.

‘Oppa, what do we do? The person who came first said she’s his girlfriend, and the person who just came also said she’s his girlfriend!’

‘I don’t know either.’

‘Oppa, do something!’

‘Ah, what do you want me to do…!’

Up to this point, it was still relatively manageable. The problem was the phone call that came afterward.

It was a call from a director-level official at the Foreign Ministry saying, ‘The Grand Duke of the Empire has entered the country with your brother’s companions, and they are looking for the Grand Duke and one other person. Don’t ask anything and just keep the two people with you for today.’

At that moment, the two weak civil servants realized who their brother’s “girlfriends” sitting in the living room were.

“……”

“…Jerry.”

“…Yes, Adela.”

“We’re fucked, aren’t we?”

“Probably.”

This devastating news spread throughout the household through a transmission system faster than the K-military’s gossip network.

At the joyous news that two daughters-in-law (a saint & descendant of a grand magician) whom even the eldest son had never brought home had visited, the elders of the Nostrim family couldn’t contain their joy and fainted.

And the protagonist of this joyous news.

The proud son (or bastard) who brought two daughters-in-law, Frederick, said:

“…Wait a minute. Just wait. There seems to be a huge misunderstanding, so please calm down and listen to me.”

This is slander.

He said it was really a misunderstanding and asked them to please talk, but no more words were necessary.

Adela, who was slumped on the sofa, looked at her brother frantically making excuses and turned to her mother.

“Mom.”

“…Yes.”

“Aren’t you happy to have two daughters-in-law?”