Ch.507Episode 19 – HELLDIVERS

Democracy Delivery! The pride of the United States of the global village and the visionary technology of the U.S. Department of Defense. The greatest beneficiary of this historically significant practice is none other than the Republic of Korea.

And now, the 21st century homegrown spy, like a native Korean honeybee!

In Frederick’s opinion, American-style democracy delivery was a faster and more effective technology than Coupang’s Rocket Delivery.

It was especially effective against Third World dictators, and if the region had oil reserves, wouldn’t that come with bonus deals? Although there was the minor issue of local public sentiment plummeting and entire regions turning into hellholes, all was well since they had at least removed the dictator.

From the perspective of local residents, this was the most insane nonsense imaginable, but for Frederick, it was an extremely trivial matter.

After all, he wasn’t a Third World resident! (Iraqi citizen: But what do you know…)

And the CIA and DIA were friends he worked with! (???: Oh ho ho~ I like that~)

Just as there are different classes of bastards, the American friends who went around destroying the Third World were “our bastards”!

Of course, if Frederick had successfully transitioned to an office job and enjoyed a peaceful daily life, he would never have developed such a terrible and frightening mindset.

But he was a humanities major by nature, and the preference for science over humanities was a trend that even intelligence agencies couldn’t escape.

As science and engineering smart-intelligence information technology experts, in line with 21st century trends, handled everything from cryptographic assembly to infrasonic measurement, cyber defense, voice analysis, ●-type sensor management, network access control, LAN cable connection, IP exchanger maintenance, management of various servers-SIEM-online education systems-video conferencing systems-overtime systems (☆most important☆), and for reasons unknown, TV radio amplifier repairs that they were ordered to do, and so on, processing countless tasks with lightning speed.

They even mastered various foreign languages, achieving true integration of humanities and sciences, evolving into walking Chat-GPTs, human Skynets! (Information and Communications Department: Hey, it’s you, bro)

Oh, what a tragedy! Humanities graduates with nowhere to go had to pack their bags and go overseas. Naturally, Frederick was no exception.

(Personnel Department: Wait;; You guys were assigned to overseas duties from the beginning;;; / Measurement Department OO Analysis Section: LOLOLOLOL / Military Supplies Department Logistics Section: If you’d learned German instead of French, you wouldn’t have had to go to Africa LOL / Security Office: ^^ / Business Management Office OOOOO Section: Pfft~)

So while traveling abroad and mingling with good friends (spies), wouldn’t he have learned only the best things (spy activities), as the saying goes about like attracting like?

But what’s the point of learning if you can’t apply it? In South Korea, there was no way to use what he had learned.

But lo and behold.

Just in time, a dictator who took over the capital in four hours kindly provided him with a justification.

Finally!

“Let’s storm the presidential palace right now and drag out the dictator first.”

At last, his opportunity to deliver democracy had arrived!

Episode 19 – HELLDIVERS

Coups led by field-grade and company-grade officers are somewhat unfamiliar to citizens of developed countries.

Why? Because regardless of the country, developed nations have well-established coup prevention systems.

To break through these systems, large-scale military forces are needed, and the commanders who control such forces are generals, not field-grade officers.

For citizens of developed countries, military rebellion meant generals conspiring together to march on the capital, like a race of sorts. (Of course, the mercenary commander who staged a coup in the Russian Federation in the 2020s is considered an exception)

However, in the Third World, especially in Africa and the Middle East, there have been quite a few cases of coups led by field-grade and company-grade officers.

There were even successful coups, with Egypt’s Gamal Abdel Nasser and Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi being prime examples. Looking to Latin America, there was also Fulgencio Batista (who, incidentally, was a sergeant at the time) who successfully led a revolution alongside other sergeants.

Captain Qasim also joined the ranks of this glorious (absolutely not) history.

Joining forces with officers from the Haranan tribe, this great man (civilians call him the rebel ringleader) took his first glorious step in overthrowing the Zamrian Federal Government in just four hours.

[We have resolved to suspend the current regime for the sake of national security and public order.]

[About 20 federal soldiers announced their statement through the state broadcast. As the Federal Army’s Supreme Command maintains its position to continue martial law until further notice, concerns are being raised from various sectors of society regarding the indefinite declaration of martial law…

[The Secretary-General of the World Union demands the ‘immediate and unconditional release’ of detained federal government officials…]

Although foreign powers (the World Union and governments of major powers) are making a fuss saying, “Hey! What the hell are you doing? Stop it right now!” Zamrian Federation remains peaceful and quiet today.

Patriotic music and revolutionary success broadcasts (produced by the Federal Army Public Relations Office) mixed with verses from the Yal-Yabud scripture are being broadcast 24/7, and all media outlets celebrate the revolution with one voice.

(Note that all broadcast channels except one state channel have been completely shut down)

On the streets, pro-coup demonstrators (government-sponsored) are fighting against (one-sidedly assaulting) anti-government protesters (civilians).

And with all military command/authority, judicial power, and legislative power handed over to Captain Qasim! What a golden age!

Peace has finally come to the Zamrian Federation, and all problems have been solved!

“Mmm~”

After presiding over a morning meeting with vice ministers, summoned to replace the suspended ministers (whom he had detained at a military base), Captain Qasim was entering the presidential office in a refreshing mood.

Suddenly, the radio in the office made a “Cheeek… Cheek…” static noise, and then.

[Ah, ah-]

A man with a somewhat familiar voice began speaking in the continental common language of Mauritania on the channel (the only one) connected to the entire Zamrian Federation.

[Qasim and his gang must leave the Zamrian Federation within 24 hours. Refusal will result in democracy delivery- no, military conflict.]

*

Announcing one’s presence has been a sacred duel etiquette since ancient times.

Also, declaring war is an honorable act strictly observed by the international community.

We seized the Zamrian Federation’s broadcast relay node (a certain military branch that loves amphibious assault calls this “ginppai”) and started with a declaration of war!

“Qasim and his gang must leave the Zamrian Federation within 24 hours. Refusal will result in military conflict.”

“No. Are we going to invade Iraq? Even George Bush gave Hussein 48 hours…”

“Be quiet, Red Pig!”

Those with normal thinking might wonder what nonsense this is, going to behead a dictator with such formality.

Surprisingly, the declaration of war was made at the Grand Archmage’s strong insistence.

For a 100+ year-old elder, a surprise attack (directly storming the presidential palace) would be a terrible and dishonorable act.

“Are we criminals or assassins? Such things are done by scoundrels who engage in fraud.”

Of course, from the perspective of a spy (specialist in infiltration, seizure, assassination, and arson) who had engaged in fraudulent activities, the natural response would be “Quiet down, old man, before I confiscate your dentures!”

However, confiscating the Grand Archmage’s dentures would be thousands of times more difficult than taking Kim Il-sung’s head, so for now, he had to shut up and follow orders.

“Besides, is it reasonable to just charge in recklessly? We don’t know what defenses the enemy has prepared, so we should at least scout the situation before attacking.”

“Won’t Your Highness just go in and beat everyone up anyway?”

“I might be safe, but wouldn’t it be dangerous for you to enter without proper planning? It’s better to proceed as safely as possible.”

Ah, what heartwarming consideration! The five disciples, understanding their master’s deep intentions, held back tears.

If that was the master’s will, it was the disciple’s duty to follow!

We put our heads together and through a marathon meeting, discussed ways to realize the wise Grand Archmage’s intentions.

“Now that we’ve declared war, let’s go to the capital. With Your Highness leading the way.”

“Since the old lady indirectly provided the cause, that’s only natural. Of course.”

“But what if the rebels’ resistance is fierce? It would be dangerous for us to break through everything.”

“What are you worried about, Lucia? We can use the professor as a shield. She’s much stronger than all of us combined, right? If it seems dangerous, we can leave it to the professor and tactically retreat- I mean, withdraw.”

“Very correct thinking. I strongly agree.”

“…Children, what on earth are you saying?”

And so, the grand journey officially began.

A six-person cooperative race for democracy delivery (+ abandoning the elderly Grand Archmage) that would go down in history had started.

*

The declaration of war by five foreign wanted criminals + a national power-level Grand Archmage (scheduled for abandonment) against a dictator moved the entire world.

Astonished admiration, tears of touching emotion, and thunderous cheers erupted from around the world!

“Shouldn’t someone stop them? What is the Foreign Ministry doing!”

“Hey, honey. Something urgent came up today, so I don’t think I can come home… Hmm… Why am I working overtime on Sunday? I wonder about that too…”

“Let’s dispatch the rapid response force first. What? The border is sealed and entry is impossible? We’re on the brink of war, who cares about seals and martial law!”

“Air Force!”

“Connect me to our ambassador in the Zamrian Federation. Oh, the embassy has been evacuated? We’re screwed…”

While various governments fell into panic, screaming “The country is really going to collapse!” in despair.

The Zamrian Federal Army went all out to stop the heinous wanted criminals.

And it didn’t take long to realize that this was completely useless.

“This bastard… Rebel!”

“Arghhhh!”

Whether the federal troops built barricades or fired guns, the six wanted criminals (the Grand Archmage was also now wanted) were advancing toward Umsalga to deliver democracy.

No one could stop them. They were smashing everything in sight as they passed through.

Technicals hit by fireballs transformed into Ghost Riders racing to hell, and rebels firing machine guns transformed into holy-minced meat.

A magician flying on a magic carpet was wrapped up carpet and all in blue thread like a rolled mat, and a rebel officer fleeing through a window disappeared into the building, leaving long claw marks on the wall and floor as someone chased after him like a tiger.

“Do you recognize me?”

“……”

Some rebel shamans who recognized the Grand Archmage (a named figure in magical society) all flopped down on the ground at once and covered their faces with dirt they scraped together.

“Gulp…”

Seeing the shamans who had become corpses (not really), the Grand Archmage passed by them nonchalantly and set off on a long journey.

Thus, numerous federal army units fought desperately to stop the criminals, but occasionally there were also heartwarming exchanges.

“My goodness, donating a tank!”

Kamila’s eyes sparkled as she made a fuss. In front of her was a tank “voluntarily donated” by the federal armored unit.

This precious tank, customized with roughness (soot, shell marks, etc.) and crudeness (poor maintenance), was a gift filled with the affection, love, and sincerity of the federal armored unit.

The moved group immediately “collected” oil and ammunition from surrounding tanks, and received “help” from federal crew members who were taking a break after receiving Lucia’s steel-massage.

Oh, how amazing!

The federal tank crew members kindly promised to “drive” them all the way to Umsalga, understanding the hardships of travelers on a long journey!

It’s comedy up close and tragedy from afar. The federal higher command misinterpreted this heartwarming kindness and consideration, slandering the tank crew and armored company commander by saying “They’ve hijacked a tank!” But what did it matter?

Donation is the path to peace by using one’s heart!

In return, the company commander who received the steel-massage fell into “sweet, sweet, deep sleep (technically called unconsciousness)” along with his platoon leaders and tank commanders, so there was no need to be upset about the slander from higher command.

-Vroooom…!

And so, the tank carrying the criminals and crew members roared toward the capital!

About 6 hours and 27 minutes later.

300 meters from the front gate of the presidential palace in Umsalga, the capital of the Zamrian Federation.

“Don’t you move a muscle! I’ve come with a tank, and I’m going to smash all your heads soon!”

A tank carrying unordered democracy and a Grand Archmage scheduled for abandonment arrived.

=

Alas, if you see this tank, abandon all hope!