Ch.4Chapter 4. Lin, My Only Ally, My Best Comrade, My Lin

“AAAAAAAH!”

Once again, Lucy woke up screaming from a nightmare.

Just because she had a conversation with a mere porter didn’t mean her situation would immediately change.

Her severed limbs still caused phantom pains, which grew worse during nightmares.

Ever since the betrayal, nightmares began the moment she closed her eyes.

Because of this, Lucy tried her best to stay awake, only managing to catch brief moments of sleep before waking up again after less than an hour.

Nightmares, sleep deprivation, phantom pain.

But these three weren’t the only sources of her suffering.

“…Why do I have to be carried around by someone like you?”

“There’s no other choice. Please bear with it until your body recovers.”

Lin carefully wrapped Lucy in a swaddling cloth and carried her against his chest.

At first, he only secured the straps around his arms, which caused Lucy’s body to bounce slightly and bump against Lin with each step.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“I should wrap a strap around my waist too. How’s that?”

“You smell.”

“I haven’t been able to wash every day because we need to keep moving. How is it now? At least you’re not bumping against me anymore, right?”

“I said you smell terrible!”

She knew she was being unreasonable.

With pain and sleep deprivation putting her on edge, Lucy found everything about Lin irritating.

“Why are you undressing and dressing me?”

“Because it’s difficult for you to do it alone.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! You just want to touch my breasts and buttocks!”

“I’m being as careful as I can, but there’s no other way to change your clothes.”

“Let me do it myself.”

“That would take too much time.”

While he went days without changing his own clothes to keep moving, he made sure to properly change Lucy’s clothes every day.

“Why are YOU washing my body?!”

“You’ll get sick if you don’t wash properly.”

“My body is naturally strong! I don’t get sick easily!”

“Don’t underestimate germs. If your condition worsens, things could get uncontrollably bad. We’re already short on time as it is.”

Again, while he went days without washing himself, he made sure to thoroughly clean Lucy, even if it meant taking water from his porter’s pouch.

“Ugh…”

“Let me wipe you.”

“I don’t need it! I don’t need it!!”

The most shameful and humiliating part was that Lin had to clean up after Lucy when she relieved herself.

After hesitating and pleading with Lin, she was able to use a makeshift fixture he developed to relieve herself, but afterward, she inevitably had to depend on him.

Lin didn’t seem bothered at all, but she hated being seen like this.

Her self-esteem hit rock bottom, and the lower it got, the more she lashed out at Lin.

“I’ve set up camp. Please wait a moment. I’ll get something to eat.”

“I’m not eating.”

“You must eat.”

“Do you think I can get anything down?!”

Not only did she lack appetite, but Lucy often refused meals because of the obvious natural consequence that would follow eating.

Day by day, her body grew thinner.

As her cheeks hollowed and her cheekbones became prominent, Lin would somehow procure meat, dilute it into a thin porridge, and plead with Lucy until she reluctantly swallowed a few spoonfuls.

“I’ll be back.”

“Who knows. Whether you’ll come back or just leave.”

“I will return. I promise.”

“I don’t need someone like you!”

“I will definitely come back.”

Lucy knew that Lin was devoted to her care.

She knew that his not washing or changing clothes was all to avoid leaving her alone even for a moment.

Only for food was it unavoidable.

The porter’s pouch was just a large inventory bag.

Food placed inside would still spoil over time.

Moreover, before the final battle with the Demon Lord, the porter had insisted on keeping the hero’s party well-fed for condition management, and right before the battle, they had used up all their provisions.

There wasn’t much left to begin with anyway.

Therefore, there was no food remaining in the porter’s pouch now.

When Lin went out to find food to maintain and restore Lucy’s strength, she would be left alone like now.

When alone, Lucy felt guilty about her treatment of Lin.

Though she had become sensitive, her inherent nature of caring for companions hadn’t disappeared.

Of course, she had only recently begun to recognize Lin as a companion, but Lucy knew her attitude was wrong.

Yet she couldn’t help it.

Betrayed by companions she truly trusted, she had fallen into severe distrust of people, and being carried around like baggage with her limbs severed had crushed her self-esteem.

When she expressed discomfort, Lin would do whatever it took to make her comfortable.

When she got irritated, Lin silently accepted it.

When she got angry, Lin would console her, saying her body could recover and that he wouldn’t give up.

Lucy hated herself for wanting to rely on Lin.

She hated the dependency that emerged in a corner of her heart along with loneliness, thinking that maybe Lin would be different.

She hated treating him poorly while being completely dependent on him.

Nevertheless, unnecessary pride and sensitivity made Lucy stubborn.

No wonder her companions betrayed her.

As she wallowed in self-pity, Lucy’s exhausted mind eventually succumbed to sleep, her eyelids closing without her realizing.

—

“Rainfold!”

After searching for a while, Lucy finally found her fiancé.

Even at night, his golden hair shone brilliantly in the moonlight.

The blue eyes set within were deep and intellectual.

“Lucy.”

“The meeting ended late. I don’t know why those high-ranking officials talk so much. They don’t even reach proper conclusions.”

“That’s why the Crown Princess took charge this time. Thanks to her cutting out all the unnecessary talk, we were able to finish today.”

“Hmm~.”

Lucy didn’t like Rainfold mentioning the Crown Princess.

Somehow, her fiancé had a peculiar smile when thinking about Rinasien.

That smile was handsome and heart-fluttering in its own way, but she instinctively felt it was a kind he never showed her.

“She must be capable.”

“Of course. She’s the future sun of the Empire. She wouldn’t be named successor without ability.”

“That’s just because all her siblings died and there’s no one else to succeed…”

“Lucy!”

“Alright, alright.”

Conversations about Rinasien always ended this way.

Rainfold would bring her up, Lucy would make jealous remarks, Rainfold would frown, and Lucy, not wanting to be disliked by him, would pout with her lips.

“No matter what, she couldn’t be crowned without capability.”

“I said I understand.”

Lucy went to the terrace, showing signs of being upset.

Then Rainfold would follow slightly later and comfort her.

As always.

He would have reassured her.

But this time was different.

CRACK!

“Huh…?”

“Lucy-ena Estel, rebel, arrest, execute.”

Tigria appeared on the terrace and sliced off her arm.

THWACK!

“What makes you so great that you can say whatever you want?”

Arsel tore off Lucy’s legs with holy power and brute strength.

SLASH!

“You should practice some restraint. Though it seems too late for that.”

An arrow flew first, then Naidrian appeared and rebuked her.

“RAINFOLD!!! SAVE ME!!!”

She desperately calls out.

Again, she desperately calls out.

By now, Lucy knows.

It’s all useless.

She couldn’t understand why she kept calling for Rainfold.

She only had hatred for him now.

It must be habit.

A terribly bad habit.

“With the Demon Lord defeated, the only threat to the Empire is you, Lucy-ena Estel.”

CRUNCH!

Rainfold crushes and cuts off her remaining arm with his shield.

As Lucy helplessly had her limbs torn off, she thought.

Ah, the order of people is right, but the limbs being torn off are wrong.

She had repeated this so many times that she had memorized it all.

Finding it absurd, she laughed, and her severed left arm approached her.

“Look at this bitch laughing? Hey, was I useless from the beginning?”

“What are you…”

“Now that the Demon Lord is gone, they don’t need us anymore.”

Then her right leg chimed in.

“No, no, she became useless, so her companions abandoned her.”

“But why tear us off when you’re the one who’s useless?”

“Who knows.”

Her right arm joined the conversation.

“They must have really hated her.”

Finally, her left leg voiced its complaint.

“Well, she never treated the one who actually took care of her like a person. Always ignoring him.”

“Took care? Who?”

“The porter.”

“Ah~ him.”

The torn limbs whispered among themselves.

The nightmare didn’t usually continue like this.

After being betrayed, the porter would always appear, hold her, and she would wake up from the sensation of falling from a great height.

But in this dream, the porter hadn’t appeared.

“Porter!”

“Wow, are you really only calling him now?”

“Yeah, she never called him before.”

“What’s wrong? Surprised that someone who always came isn’t coming?”

“You’re the strange one. Why do you think it’s natural for him to come?”

“Exactly.”

“Is he precious now that he’s gone?”

“Like us, precious now that we’re gone?”

“But why do you treat him like that?”

“Be good to him before he really disappears.”

The limbs spoke in unison.

“He’s your only ally.”

—

“AAAAAAAH!!”

She screamed.

“Haa… haa…!”

She opened her eyes.

No one was there.

Only soft bedding and crackling firewood.

“Porter…!”

It was the first time.

The first time she had called for the porter instead of Rainfold, whether in dreams or reality.

But there was no answer.

“PORTER-!!!!”

Is he gone? Did he leave because I was mean?

No, that can’t be.

He was someone who stayed by my side no matter how badly I treated him.

“PORTER-!!!!!!!!!!”

He’s really not coming.

After her metallic scream, a chilling silence licked at her.

She couldn’t breathe.

She was terrified.

She finally realized.

How grateful she should have been for his existence.

He wasn’t someone to be taken for granted.

He wasn’t someone she should have treated that way.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I was wrong… Please come back…”

Panicking, Lucy trembled and began to apologize.

“I never even thanked you… At least hear that before you go… Please… come back…!”

She felt miserable.

She didn’t know exactly why.

She just felt miserable.

“You abandoned me…! Even you abandoned me!”

Her sharp mind had already made its own judgment and demanded that Lucy accept it quickly.

“Did you leave because I was mean? Is that it?”

Strangely, as she realized she had lost him, tears formed in her previously dry eyes.

Hot, painful tears.

“I shouldn’t have… I was wrong…! I… I…! *sob*… *hic*… *waaah*…!”

Her beautiful face contorted as tears streamed down.

She no longer had hands to wipe these tears.

She no longer had legs to move away out of embarrassment for these tears.

Ah, I’m truly alone now.

“WAAAAAAAH-!!!!”

As she was crying miserably,

“I’m back.”

Strong arms lifted her small body.

His hands used a soft cloth to wipe her tears.

His legs firmly supported his body as he held her.

“You had a nightmare.”

Lucy exhaled a sob-mixed sigh at the comforting gesture of being held and patted.

“I’m sorry. I was later than expected.”

“Liar! You abandoned me and came back!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You left and came back because you felt sorry for me!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then… why were you late…?”

The tears she had been holding back burst forth again.

Unreasonably, Lucy felt miserable.

“Why did you leave me alone for so long…?”

“Because of this.”

Lin showed her a honeycomb.

As honey dripped from the comb, Lin apologized to Lucy.

“Since you struggle with eating, I thought honey might be better. It took some time to find it. I’m sorry. I won’t leave you alone for long again.”

“…What’s so great about honey.”

Lucy hated herself for saying hurtful things contrary to her feelings.

“I’ve heard that eating only honey greatly reduces the need to use the bathroom.”

“……”

“I got it in case it might help.”

“Why… why are you so kind to me?”

The tears wouldn’t stop.

As her frozen heart melted from Lin’s consideration and effort, the tears that formed couldn’t easily be stopped.

“The world will need you soon.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the hero.”

“Then… if the world didn’t need me more after I killed the Demon Lord, would you have abandoned me like them?”

“No, I would have saved you just the same.”

“…Why?”

Don’t get your hopes up.

But it’s impossible.

My heart has already warmed up.

Lucy tried to convince herself that a cold answer would come.

But Lin answered sincerely.

“Because I’ve been abandoned before too.”

His arms tightened around her.

She pressed closer into his embrace, inhaling his scent.

The scent that, despite her complaints, had considerably reassured her.

“Being alone is truly frightening and sad. It’s too cruel to be left all alone with that emptiness when you haven’t done anything particularly wrong.”

“…They said they tried to kill me because I did many wrong things.”

“I can’t say there were none, but they made too many mistakes themselves. I felt relieved whenever you got angry at the nobles on their behalf.”

“You’re the only one who says that.”

“I was just the only one who said it to your face.”

“And you’re the only one who saved me.”

“That’s true.”

Closing her eyes out of embarrassment for her tears, she could hear Lin’s heartbeat.

Listening to that regular, stable tempo, Lucy felt herself calming down.

She realized she was finally ready to accept her situation and her feelings toward Lin.

“What’s your name?”

“You can just call me Porter.”

“I can’t do that.”

She decided to express her feelings.

“You are my only ally.”

She’s going to try, though she’s not sure if it will work.

“Only you are my best companion.”

*Clink*

Lucy startled.

She had just heard something different from his heartbeat in his chest.

It was like the sound of chains being dragged, a metallic sound.

At the same time,

“Ah.”

He exhaled.

When she opened her eyes in surprise, what she saw was,

“Lin. It’s Lin. My surname is Lee, since I’m a commoner, it’s Lee Lin.”

His small but bright and warm smile.

His drooping eyes formed gentle curves as he looked at Lucy.

“Lin.”

Lucy repeated the porter’s name.

“My only ally, best companion… my Lin.”

Lucy smiled back at the smiling man.

“Thank you for saving me, Lin.”

Only, she couldn’t stop the tears flowing through her smile.