Ch.4Chapter 4. Convenience Store Worker Becomes a Totem (4)

Chapter 4. Wage Slave Becomes a Totem (4)

“Excellent! I, Kanto, will take skilled warriors at daybreak and defeat those monsters!”

Kanto, having regained his confidence, laughed heartily while beating his chest.

I don’t know about anything else, but he does seem capable in a fight.

The thought of this giant over 2 meters tall swinging a double-bladed axe and butchering animals sends chills down my spine.

– I’ll be counting on you.

Despite everything, Kanto is currently my greatest asset.

My future depends on how strong he actually is.

Come on, Kanto, rack up those points. I hope you’re stronger than a freshly possessed wandering paladin.

– It’s getting late. I should focus on recovery.

It’s time to send away the siblings who now think I’m Roa.

I need to rest today. Too many things happened in a single day.

I’m mentally exhausted. I need a good night’s sleep.

Though I’m not sure if this body can even sleep.

“We shall take our leave now.”

With those words, Paya and Kanto left the altar.

I shifted my gaze to the mirror.

A coiled dragon totem with glowing blue eyes.

A literal totem, unable to move like a gargoyle from a fantasy game.

I gently closed one eye. More precisely, I acted with the sensation of closing an eye.

One of the glowing eyes in the mirror disappeared, and my vision was partially blocked. Maybe I can sleep after all?

I closed both eyes tightly and tried to fall asleep.

***

– Hmm…

When I opened my eyes, bright sunlight greeted me.

I managed to fall asleep somehow.

If I couldn’t even sleep in this body, I would have truly gone mad.

Or I would have become a ghost constantly lurking in the community forums 24 hours a day.

Whew, I feel refreshed after sleeping.

Well, being possessed in a game isn’t such a big deal.

I no longer have to get chewed out by the convenience store manager, or deal with drunk customers who act like animals.

I won’t have to run into my ex-girlfriend on the street, and no more nagging texts from my parents telling me to find a job.

So… I should try to think positively.

Whining and complaining won’t help. In fact, I’m in a better position than most others.

At least I don’t have to fight monsters called infected while starving in a cave.

I’m comfortable here, being treated like a god.

I’ve lost physical pleasures in exchange, but I think becoming a quadriplegic is better than facing life-threatening situations.

If I keep accumulating points, I might even get a new body.

Not long after, Kanto came to visit.

“Malak! We are fully prepared! I will strike them down with the tribe’s finest warriors!”

Kanto was armed with leather armor and wore something like a cape over it, looking like a half-barbarian warrior and half-Native American warrior commonly seen in fiction.

Behind him stood about twenty men and women in a line, staring at me like skilled serial killers—or should I say, experienced serial killers.

Perhaps I should say they were looking at me with respect.

Anyway, they all had large scars on their faces and bodies, which was quite reassuring.

“We will offer you the flesh and blood of those beasts, Malak!”

“We will instill fear in those who defiled the mountains our ancestors left us!”

“For faith, for the glory promised by Roa!”

“I will not return until my axe is stained red!”

“We will tear them to shreds!”

They’re all excited. They really love fighting.

From their perspective, this must be like a holy war commanded directly by a god.

I gave them a few words of encouragement and sent them off.

While waiting, I thought about checking the community, but as I shifted my gaze, I noticed Paya watching from a distance.

Does she have something to say?

– What is it?

Only then did Paya hesitantly approach and stand before me. Looking at her again, she’s still just a child who hasn’t lost all her baby fat.

Late teens, perhaps? Did she wear some kind of makeup yesterday to appear more mature?

“…How is the totem?”

– …

How is this wooden statue body? It’s just… there.

I can’t exactly say, ‘I feel like a completely paralyzed patient who can only blink.’

Is she asking if her aesthetic sense is good?

Seeing no reaction from me, Paya spoke again.

“I made it from a sacred tree that stood guard for over 300 years. I used the wisdom left by our ancestors as best I could. It may not be perfect, but I put my heart into it.”

I don’t know what wisdom is needed to carve a piece of wood, but since she says she worked hard, I should praise her.

– There are no issues. You did well.

“…Is that so? Please call me when you need me.”

Paya left with a bright smile. She somehow reminded me of a daughter seeking approval from her father.

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the parents of these siblings.

…That’s not a family matter I should be concerned about right now.

I accessed the community.

[PuPuPung: Are NPCs from the game here too? Anyone seen them?] (1)

[FootMouth: I’m sick of this. I’m done.] (5)

[DinosaurPunch: Gathering Diary #155]

[RisingPhoenix: The random game~ that paladins~ love~~~~~~~~!]

[ITrustedMonkeyUncle: Real-time paladin… giant monster discovered…] (4)

[NotACatfish: Anyone tried torturing devil worshippers?]

[LoveDeathNyan: (From Multiverse-5826) Nyan nya nya nyan~!]

[PrincessDina: Will there be no more information posts…?]

[JetKick: The guy above still whining about info posts when this place has been a mental asylum for ages?]

[OhDoManlyMan: Today’s paladin meal.JPG]

[PaladinPaladin: Let’s fight for justice! You who fight for justice every day! Maybe it’s a must-read for all paladins?]

Many new posts have appeared.

Most were meaningless, but seeing familiar usernames again gives me a strange comfort.

Maybe I should look for a way to change my username now.

I decided to use the [Search] function that I didn’t use yesterday.

I blinked to enter “username.”

Too many results came up, so I entered “username change,” but this time there were too few.

Is this the post about how to change it?

[JiJiBangBang: How to Change Your Username (Long Post)

As you know, this community is completely different from regular internet sites.

This isn’t a community created by humans using computers, but one made by the game company bastards who presumably possessed us into this game.

So naturally, you can’t change your username through conventional methods.

First, move your eyeballs up and down while keeping your eyes open. You need to repeat this at least 5 times.

Next, close your eyes, open them, and repeat step 1.

Now move your eyeballs from right to left. Repeat this at least 5 times too.

Next, close your eyes, open them, and repeat the above process.

Then, rub your palms together to warm them up, cup them as if holding an egg, and gently cover your eyes.

Finally, with your hands covering your eyes (keep your eyes open), slowly rotate your eyeballs clockwise and then counterclockwise. Alternate between clockwise and counterclockwise 5 times.

Now you’ve learned a simple eye exercise.

Reflect on being a terrible owner who abuses your eyes by browsing the community all day, and do these eye exercises once daily.

And as for how to change your username

HAHAHA PALADIN THERE’S NO SUCH THING HAHAHA

THE USERNAME YOU CHOSE!!!

THE GAME YOU CHOSE!!!

NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!

WON’T LET YOU CHANGE IT PALADIN HAHAHAHAHA

IF I COULD CHANGE MINE, WOULD MY USERNAME BE JIJIBANGBANG??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally fooled you, right? Got all excited thinking you could change it, pants all wet? But now you’re just angry with nothing to show for it?

But what are you gonna do about it? What CAN you do, newbie? HAHAHA Nothing but curse at me and kill devil worshippers near you HAHAHAHAHA]

What a crazy bastard.

I was actually following along until halfway through…!

I wanted to spew curses, but there were many tribal children glancing at me around the altar, so I held back.

There’s nothing more horrifying than seeing the god you worship having a fit while spewing profanities.

[NotACatfish: Fucking obvious template. Predictable development. Just obviously cobbled together from a few famous posts. A 2/10 attention grab. Only kids or old people would laugh at this or get angry after falling for it. Learn more before trying again]

The comment below is also quite annoying.

This “NotACatfish” guy, isn’t he the one who left me a nasty comment yesterday?

Now I see he’s a professional troll. I should be careful.

I added him to my mental blacklist and checked the status window next to the community.

It’s been some time, so I wonder if I’ve accumulated any points?

[Name: Malak]

– Available Blessings: (You can learn a blessing!)

– Available Points: 250

– Follower: Paya

– Enter Community

250 points? That’s 8 times more than before?

Damn, Kanto! I was counting on you!

It also says I can learn a blessing. I blinked to click on (You can learn a blessing!).

I’m not sure if “clicking with my eyes” is the right expression, but anyway.

[Healing Totem (Low): Slightly heals followers within a 100-meter radius. Significantly increases natural recovery rate.]

What kind of totem is this…

Even the blessing name is so disappointing. Not “Divine Healing” or “Roa’s Healing,” but “Healing Totem.”

At this point, I’m not Roa but just Totem Man. I’m not even a fixed support tool.

Is this really a divine class?