Ch.45Even So, I

I’m cold.

I’ve lost too much blood.

The large wounds on my arms and legs are bound with torn pieces of cloth, but that doesn’t bring back the blood I’ve lost.

The glimpses of visible skin have already turned pale, transformed to resemble a corpse.

This was the expected outcome.

When I should have sought treatment immediately, I deliberately wandered around spreading bloodstains everywhere.

So that the scattered blood would be mistaken for traces of ordinary monsters.

Otherwise.

The red marks that fell and hardened on the ground might become signposts revealing a murderer’s whereabouts.

I killed all the Kobolds that came following the scent of blood.

Even collapsed on the ground, with just one half-broken arm, I could easily dispatch mere Kobolds.

Though I did end up with a few more cuts.

I’m tired.

As I crawled back to the cave, I thought about that man.

Knut.

A man who threw himself at me, burning with vengeance, whom I had no choice but to kill.

In my hazy consciousness, I struggle to gather my scattered thoughts.

He said he had sworn vengeance for his family and his people.

Spewing hatred that was justified for him, but unjust for me.

He was probably just the beginning, and more people like him will continue to appear.

…And each time, I’ll have to kill them.

It was sad.

Especially because there was no alternative.

I cannot persuade them.

The scars that Ka’har and Hersella carved into them are too deep, never to heal or be forgotten.

I cannot die for them either.

Even if I accepted their vengeance and died, it wouldn’t end there.

Ka’har remains unchanged and Orhan is still alive.

What if, in the original story, it was Hersella who killed Orhan?

The moment I die here, the already twisted story would spiral beyond control.

The surviving Orhan would eventually come with countless armies.

All the people who would die because of that would be my responsibility.

Because it would happen due to my escape to this place.

So I had to stop it.

To prevent Orhan’s armies from crossing the wall someday.

I’m not sure exactly what Lord Landenburg is thinking… but he probably won’t refuse.

I stretch out my fingertips again, pulling my body forward.

It’s not just Orhan.

Many deaths will unfold in this world from now on.

Werebeasts, monsters, and……

…Yes. With Demian around, peace will come eventually.

That guy I met in person didn’t seem like someone who inspired such confidence… but he’s the protagonist after all.

He’ll keep getting stronger and gradually become more heroic.

But until then, how many people will die?

“Kuhuk! Kek, keheh..! …Haaa…haaaa…!”

Something boiled up in my chest, and I coughed up blood.

Gasping for breath, I dug into the dirt to cover the blood I had spat out.

It hurts.

The game I played wasn’t a peaceful one.

It was a hellscape where tens of thousands died easily to create tension, catharsis, and excitement.

Asha, Millia, Lena, Frider, Ophelia.

With one wrong choice, they could end up worse than dead.

Back then, they were just images on a monitor.

Now, this has become my reality.

So I had to protect them. I wanted to protect them.

I didn’t want to turn away.

Even if it meant killing people who stood in my way with my own hands.

A bitter smile rose within me.

I kill innocent people because I want to protect innocent people.

Indeed, a terrible contradiction.

Even so.

Fight, kill, regret, suffer.

And still get up again, fight, and protect.

Save the world, save the people.

Though it’s a mess full of contradictions, this is truly.

What I can call my belief.

The morning sun was already dawning.

In the shadow-filled forest.

Crawling through the dirt, I stared blankly at the sky for a while.

—-

Millia was pacing at the cave entrance.

Why is she out there…?

Shouldn’t Hans be on watch at this hour?

I continued crawling in that direction.

Perhaps because the tension had eased, blood began seeping from my wounds again.

“Haschal…?”

Millia spotted me, her eyes widening in shock as she ran over.

She must not have slept, as dark fatigue lined her eyes.

“What’s this… what is Hans doing that you’re…”

“Is that important right now? My goodness, look at these wounds! Are you okay?! Hans! Lena! Come here!”

Millia made a fuss as she carried me into the cave.

Am I okay…? Well, obviously not……

Both my body and mind were reaching their limits.

My consciousness was growing dim.

But with Lena here, I probably won’t die……?

“Miss Haschal? What on earth were you doing to get like this…!”

“We need to treat her right away! Millia, please lay Haschal down here!”

Millia laid me down on a sleeping bag, and Lena clutched the holy symbol hanging around her neck.

“What… even… trolls… Miss Millia… knew…”

“I too…! Just… thought… never imagined this…!”

“…mother, Lady Saulite… to… her…!”

My hearing was fading too, and I could barely hear the three people’s conversation.

The cold freezing my heart and the pain searing my wounds gradually grew fainter.

With the sight of crimson holy light blooming, my consciousness sank into darkness.

—-

When I woke up, it was already midnight.

The campfire crackled, spitting embers.

As if my body had turned into a desert, extreme thirst washed over me.

The moment I tried to move, excruciating pain tore through my entire body.

“Kuh, uaagh…!”

“Huh…? Ah, Lady Haschal! You shouldn’t move yet!”

“Ugh… water, some water…!”

Lena took out a water pouch and carefully poured it into my mouth.

The lukewarm stream of water moistened my parched throat and seeped into my stomach.

Only after emptying the entire pouch did my thirst finally subside.

“…Thank you. Did you heal me, Lena…?”

“It was Lady Saulite’s grace. You could have died… thanks to her especially strong blessing, I was able to save you.”

Divine help, huh.

I guess even gods know about me?

…Knut said the war god guided him.

I thought it was just a figure of speech, but maybe not.

“Is that so…? Saulite’s grace… perhaps I should make a donation to the church later.”

“What were you fighting that injured you so badly? It’s as if you faced a dragon.”

Not a dragon, but a person similar to an angry bear.

If I had fought a dragon, I’d be dead. How could a human defeat a dragon?

“Just something strong…”

I deliberately left it vague. I couldn’t exactly say I’d killed a classmate.

“Anyway, you need to rest for a while. Your injuries weren’t just in one or two places, the bleeding was severe, and you were even under a curse.”

“…A curse?”

Could it be…

“Yes. It was a terrible curse. A curse bearing the chill of the netherworld that breaks down the mind and drains life force.”

So it was Frosting after all…!

To inflict such a curse on its owner, not even an enemy.

Why on earth did Hersella create such a thing?

…Or perhaps she didn’t anticipate the curse either?

“…Anyway, thank you. I survived thanks to you. Where are Millia and Hans?”

I couldn’t see the two of them.

In the quiet cave, only Lena remained to take care of me.

“Millia is guarding the entrance. Hans went to hunt monsters. He should be back soon.”

“Alone…? That’s dangerous……”

Those who got injured even fighting three or four Kobolds are wandering this forest alone?

What if they encounter a troll?

“I need to look after you, and someone has to guard the cave.”

Lena answered calmly.

I see, they don’t plan to just pass the time idly.

Are they trying to get better grades?

Since I’ve become a hindrance, I should help at least that much…?

“I see… could you call Millia for me?”

“Yes. Rest here!”

Lena ran toward the cave entrance.

Meanwhile, I roughly checked my condition.

My entire body was wrapped in blood-stained bandages.

I wonder if Hans prepared these too.

The chill had subsided somewhat, but my limbs still wouldn’t move properly.

Well, that’s natural since I was stabbed, pierced, bashed, and twisted.

The wounds on my back still stung as if they hadn’t healed.

…At this rate, combat will be impossible until the end of the field training.

Beyond the sleeping bag, I could see my armor reduced to rags.

It was beyond repair, let alone wearable as clothing.

How much would it cost to fix that…

—-

“I’ve brought Millia, Lady Haschal!”

“You’re awake, Haschal? Are you feeling alright?”

Shortly after, Lena returned with Millia.

Millia sat down beside the sleeping bag and examined my complexion with concern.

“I’ll manage… More importantly, Hans went into the forest alone? That’s dangerous.”

“Well, I tried to stop him. But Hans seems quite concerned about his grades…”

Is he aiming for a scholarship?

Considering he fought me for Ophelia’s funding, he must be quite desperate for money.

“…Nothing we can do. Let’s let it go today, but take me with you tomorrow.”

“No way! Your wounds haven’t even healed properly yet!”

Lena shook her head in opposition. Millia also shook her head.

“That’s right. You can’t even move properly, it’s too risky.”

“I don’t plan to fight. As you said, I couldn’t fight in this condition anyway.”

Fighting in this state would be self-destruction.

Besides, I never intended to help with combat in the first place.

“Carry me on your back. That way all three of you can move together. No need to have two people stuck in this cave.”

“That’s… but…”

“I’ll just alert you to Kobolds and trolls. You two can handle the fighting. That much should be possible, right?”

Scouting is no problem as long as my senses are intact.

We just need to avoid trolls and excessively large groups of Kobolds.

“…I’ll talk to Hans about it first.”

Millia reluctantly agreed, then suddenly turned to Lena.

“And Lena, your big sisters need to talk privately for a bit. Sorry, but could you wait for Hans at the entrance? If anything happens, call out right away.”

“Oh… yes! I’ll do that!”

After hesitating briefly, Lena headed for the cave entrance.

Millia watched her go for a while, then turned to look down at me.

Perhaps due to the backlight from the campfire, her face was shadowed, making her expression difficult to see.

“Good. Now that Lena’s gone, let’s talk, Haschal.”

Her low voice was mixed with dark emotions.

“…Alright.”