Ch.44Comfort (3)

From a young age, I often visited the rural village that was an hour’s walk from the Count’s mansion.

At the top of the tall hill beside the village stood a large zelkova tree.

That spot offered the most beautiful view of Goldfield territory’s vast golden wheat fields.

The golden fields stretching to the horizon were already enchanting beyond words, but the sight one could see when climbing up at sunset was truly… an overwhelming emotion impossible to describe.

I can declare with certainty that not a single person I’ve ever brought there failed to be mesmerized by that view.

The Count and Countess, Lady Alice, my parents, and my sister.

I showed this scenery to countless others as well.

Of course, most of them already knew about it.

I heard that the zelkova tree itself had been planted by the Count’s grandparents.

I recalled the Count’s smiling face as he said that the view from this hill was one of Goldfield territory’s proudest treasures.

In the end, Laila was the only person to see this scenery for the first time through my introduction.

And quite naturally, my little sister absolutely loved this view.

I gazed quietly at the zelkova tree on the hill.

Two ropes hung from the thickest branch.

Below the ropes, a square wooden plank was tied securely.

It was the swing I had made for Laila.

I had initially planned to make a simple chair for her since she would whine about her legs hurting from climbing the hill, but a regular chair seemed too boring, so I made her a swing instead.

Of course, with my limited craftsmanship at fourteen years old, I couldn’t make it very sturdy, and it broke after about two years. Eventually, my father reinforced it properly.

Laila loved the view from this swing.

I can clearly picture her chestnut-brown hair—inherited from our father—fluttering in the breeze.

Sure enough, she was sitting on the swing.

I called out to her.

“Laila.”

“…”

Laila didn’t answer.

From her back view on the swing, I could glimpse her cheeks puffed out in annoyance.

“What’s wrong now?”

Whenever Laila was displeased with something, she would clam up like this and ignore what I said.

I sighed deeply and approached her.

“Why are you sulking again?”

“Hmph!”

“Laila…”

Laila glanced at me from the corner of her eye, then quickly turned her face in the opposite direction and said:

“I don’t know. Ash oppa is stupid.”

“Why am I?”

“…Tch…”

Judging by her huffing, she seemed quite upset.

Um… but what did I do…?

Fortunately, Laila soon provided the answer to that question.

“Todaaay, even though Mom and Dad aren’t home, you… you went out to play with just Eric oppa, and left me behind.”

“Ah… so that was it.”

“You… you… huh? You don’t even know why I’m maaad.”

Oh dear,

Her voice was starting to tremble with emotion.

As she struggled to express her feelings with her limited vocabulary, she seemed to be getting overwhelmed with sadness.

I slowly moved behind Laila and carefully pushed her swing while speaking:

“So you felt left out?”

“…”

“You felt left out, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re angry because I didn’t play with you.”

“…You just… played with Eric oppa… and left me at home…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Mom and Dad are busy, and unni is supposed to be here but she went to school and hasn’t come back, and you only play with Eric oppa…”

My little sister’s tearful complaints were incredibly adorable.

To cheer her up, I grabbed the swing’s ropes and gently rocked it off-rhythm.

Her loneliness and hurt feelings were quickly overshadowed by a little thrill.

Laila, who had looked like she might cry just moments ago, squealed with delight and soon burst into laughter.

I stroked her head and asked:

“Were you bored?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“I played with grass and bugs and flowers, so I wasn’t bored.”

I smiled and asked:

“Then why were you so angry?”

“…”

Laila fell silent.

It wasn’t because the question was difficult or because she didn’t know why she was angry.

Being still young, she sometimes took longer to form complete sentences in her mind.

This happened whenever she tried to use relatively complex expressions.

I continued pushing her swing, patiently waiting for her answer.

“Um… that, that, like, oppa, it seems like you’re not interested in playing with me anymore.”

Ah,

So she wanted to use the word “interest.”

I smiled and questioned her statement:

“Hmm? What do you mean by that?”

“…I’m afraid oppa might start disliking me.”

Laila said this with her head hanging low.

I gently grabbed the swing and slowly brought it to a stop.

“Why would I dislike you, Laila?”

“Then? Do you like me?”

“Of course. I’m so happy that you’re my little sister.”

“Hehe, then…”

At that moment, all sounds in the world disappeared.

The rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze and the sound of the wheat field swaying like waves where the wind had passed.

The creaking noise of the rope against the tree branch where the swing hung.

Even the sound of my breathing.

In that moment, all I could hear was Laila’s voice.

In the silence that felt as if all the air in the world had vanished, Laila asked me without turning around.

Strangely, her voice sounded as if she were whispering right next to my ear rather than from in front of me.

“Why did you leave me to die?”

“…What?”

I stepped backward.

Laila was hanging limply from the swing rope, which was wrapped around her neck.

Her feet, suspended in mid-air without touching the ground, came directly into my line of sight.

Slowly… very slowly,

Laila spun around in the air.

Her lifeless eyes were gradually turning to face me.

No.

No no no no.

No, wait, hold on.

What’s happening? What is this? What’s going on?

Laila is already…!

Already?

Already what?

What is it?

What am I trying to remember?

Stop it,

Please, no, fuck, shut up with those thoughts.

I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my whole body away from that horrific sight.

In that instant, the magically enchanting golden fields vanished like magic.

As if they had never been there at all, the background was suddenly filled with a nauseating, thick, murky green.

Various types of trees and foliage blocked the once-open horizon, crowding my vision to the point of claustrophobia.

A forest.

No.

This can’t be.

No, Laila.

It’s a misunderstanding.

Please, just listen to me,

Laila!

Drip, drip,

Sticky red liquid pours down around the leaves.

And again, that chilling voice:

“It’s wrong to let other people die just so you can live, oppa.”

“…No, that’s not it.”

“No? Then why did you kill those men?”

“That… wasn’t my fault.”

“Then, what about me?”

“Ah…aah,”

“After doing such things, you even kiss Miss Silvia?”

“…No, stop, stop it. Stop it, Lail…”

“Ahahahahahahahaha”

Looking up at her and pleading, I saw the suspended Laila laughing.

With an artificial smile as if someone had stuck fingers in her mouth and pulled it wide,

She spoke in her usual cheerful voice:

“What right do you have to try to be happy, oppa?”

*

I opened my eyes to the sensation of my eyelids being crushed.

A dull pain shot through my head along with a rush of blood.

My forehead and crown felt as if they had been beaten.

My vision was thrown to the floor, allowing me to see the haphazardly piled belongings under Miss Silvia’s bed.

“Ugh,”

I struggled to prop myself up from the floor.

It seems I had fallen out of bed while tossing and turning.

I barely managed to pull myself back onto the bed.

My head, which had hit the floor, still throbbed with a dull pain.

I rubbed my forehead and cursed.

“Damn it.”

As expected, I had a nightmare.

What a fucking awful dream.

No, stop it.

I slapped my forehead repeatedly, desperately trying to hold back my mind from recalling the dream I just had.

I know there’s nothing good in remembering it.

Laila’s death, her resentment, the blood splattered throughout the forest.

Recalling it would only… shit, I ended up remembering it anyway.

No. No.

I desperately tried to think of something else.

First… when did I even fall asleep?

I’m not sure.

Actually, since yesterday, after experiencing what this red-eyed curse makes me do, my memory has been hazy.

It wasn’t because of the curse’s influence.

The rage and hatred that boiled up when the curse activated, heating my brain as if it would scorch it.

My consciousness was deeply buried beneath those intense emotions and murderous intent.

But even after the curse subsided when everyone around me died, the horrific sensation of putting my hand inside a person’s body and rummaging through it remained vividly on my fingertips.

Ah, I wish I had no memory of the time when the curse was active.

This malicious curse contained no such merciful function.

Those memories, those sensations.

They’re tattooed onto the surface of my consciousness, indelible.

None of it has faded even slightly.

That intense experience overwhelmed all my thoughts, leaving me in a daze afterward.

Whenever I tried to think about anything, those memories would immediately engulf me, so I tried not to think at all.

Perhaps this is how Miss Silvia has been coping for the past few years.

Haha,

How ridiculous my pathetic attempts at comforting Miss Silvia seem now.

What did I know to pretend to understand, to pretend to comfort her?

Did I delude myself into thinking I understood all the sadness and guilt she must have felt, just from hearing her verbal explanation?

Idiot.

There’s a limit to arrogance.

I knew nothing.

Only now have I caught a glimpse of the pain she’s been enduring.

Only now, after killing all those people with my own hands, do I begin to understand a little.

Ah, right… Miss Silvia.

I felt around the side of the bed.

“Mmm,”

I touched Miss Silvia’s shoulder.

She flinched slightly and let out a sweet moan from my touch.

I slowly looked at her.

An incredibly beautiful woman was lying next to me.

“…Uh,”

My God,

What is this feeling?

Just having her sleeping beside me fills my heart with comfort beyond words.

It was a moment of understanding why she had so desperately cried out for family.

I slowly turned my body toward her.

The movement pulled the blanket covering her slightly.

The blanket that had been covering below her already exposed shoulders slid down from her body.

Her large flesh-colored breasts were completely exposed.

She was naked.

“Gah!”

At that moment, I finally remembered the events of last night.

Oh my God,

What have I done?

Only then did I notice that my lips were stinging as if they were swollen.

*

Silvia shifted slightly in bed.

She could feel her consciousness gradually brightening from behind the world of dreams.

For Silvia, this was a blissfully peaceful sleep she hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

For someone who wouldn’t die even without sleep, bedtime was merely a means to regulate her condition and a hobby to make this long, tedious forest life pass a little faster.

Although there was the price of occasionally having terrible nightmares, since every waking hour was already a nightmare for her, Silvia would force herself to lie down, squeeze her eyes shut, and go to bed.

Perhaps that’s why.

Since she began living in the forest, Silvia had never greeted a morning feeling refreshed.

When was the last time she woke up feeling happy?

It was probably before the journey to defeat the Demon King.

No, perhaps she had never woken up feeling happy in her entire life.

That’s why Silvia felt somewhat awkward about the feeling she was experiencing now.

She was almost fully awake.

Opening her eyes would mean starting another day.

As usual, she didn’t want to open her eyes today, but the reason was slightly different.

Normally, she hesitated to open her eyes because she didn’t want to face this terrible daily life, but today she hesitated because she wanted to savor this happy feeling of half-sleep a little longer.

She wanted to toss and turn a bit more and drift back into dreams.

Wait, was there any reason she couldn’t?

What did she have to do today?

She couldn’t remember.

If nothing came to mind, there was no need to open her eyes.

After all, feeling this happiness was such a rare occurrence.

With that thought, Silvia buried her face in the pillow and tried to drift back into sweet slumber.

That’s when it happened.

“Gah!”

A voice rang out.

A voice filled with surprise and embarrassment.

A very cute and lovable voice.

As if drawn to that voice, Silvia slowly opened her eyes.

She gradually turned her face, which had been buried in the pillow, toward the voice.

There was Ash, his eyes wide open.