Ch.444IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (141)

It’s better not to touch it unnecessarily.

Everyone else knows, but I don’t.

Hmm.

I think I understand a little of what Koko felt during our conversation yesterday.

“Kotone?”

Koko is sensitive to changes in my mood. Even though she’s lived with us for quite some time, she still seems to watch my reactions carefully.

“Koko, hold still. It’s hard to braid your hair when you keep moving.”

I was braiding Koko’s hair, but she kept trying to turn around, so I said that.

Koko immediately became still. I wasn’t particularly angry, but it felt a bit strange thinking that she became so obedient because she was being cautious around me.

“Are you worried about Koko’s hair dragging on the floor?”

Mako, who had sat down beside me at some point, asked.

Since last time, Mako has been treating me the same as always.

I’m grateful for that, and I also think it’s somewhat impressive. Mako probably didn’t see exactly what I went through, but she still treats me normally despite having memories of me fighting with blood spraying behind her back.

“Yeah. Well, her hair is quite long.”

I thought she might say something like “You could just trim it,” but Mako didn’t say anything like that.

She’s always been that way. Mako has been incredibly kind to me. At first, I thought it was just her personality, but before I knew it, we had become that close.

“…”

Mako looked around for a moment without saying anything. The way her legs dangled back and forth over the sofa made her look like a girl straight out of an animation.

Mako seemed to know about Yuu’s situation too. Her face had turned pale, and she shook her head vigorously from side to side.

Perhaps sensing my mood, Mako thought for a moment before speaking.

“Hey, Kotone.”

“Yes?”

“You and Yuu were close friends, right?”

“Oh, yes.”

Mako doesn’t know how we became friends when we were young. She might have heard about me, but she wouldn’t have heard that it was “Kotone Kurosawa.” If she had, she would have realized it was me much earlier.

“Well, Yuu never talked about Harumi, or you at all.”

“…”

I didn’t talk about Harumi and Yuu either.

It wasn’t because I thought I needed to hide my past… Rather, I thought it was better not to bring up memories from that time.

Looking back, I guess that’s how close we were. The three of us.

“So, Kotone.”

Mako spoke with her hands tightly clasped, as if gathering courage.

“Why don’t you ask Yuu directly?”

“Directly?”

“Yes.”

I looked around.

No one had gone home yet. It’s Sunday, after all. No one would complain if we took our time.

Harumi had gone to the kitchen for a moment, and Yuu was sitting far away.

“…”

Saying nothing, sitting near the window, bathed in sunlight as she gazed outside… Yuu looked somewhat like a model.

And at the same time, a bit like a cat.

“I’ve known Harumi and Yuu for quite a while too. Not as long as you have, though.”

Mako said with a smile.

“I’m sure Yuu is waiting.”

“Waiting?”

“Yes. For you to speak to her first.”

Is that so?

She’s become much colder than the Yuu I last saw, so it’s hard to guess her feelings. I can tell her default expression is somewhat glaring, and that there are quite a few variations within that, but still.

There’s no way to know her feelings when she’s just sitting there without saying anything.

“Yuu would probably rather open up to you directly than hear things from me or Harumi…”

Mako said with a slight smile.

“You’re friends, after all.”

“Friends.”

I nodded.

That’s right.

Mako, Harumi, and everyone else still considered me a friend despite the time that had passed.

The same goes for Yuka, even if she doesn’t show it much.

And friends share their worries with each other. There’s almost no chance those worries will be solved. Listening doesn’t provide any clever solutions, and in the end, we’re all just kids with no special powers.

But still. Just by opening up, and by knowing each other’s thoughts, we can find a lot of comfort. At least it relieves that feeling of frustration.

“…Yeah.”

I didn’t answer until I finished fixing Koko’s hair, and only then did I nod.

Koko turned around to face me.

“Kotone?”

“…Koko.”

I patted Koko’s head.

Yes. To these kids, Koko must be a truly mysterious existence. She appeared suddenly without any warning.

So, what Mako is saying applies to me as well.

“…Koko, just a moment.”

“Kotone?”

Koko looked up at me with wide eyes as I stood up.

Though we have the same face, we use it differently. My reflection was visible in her large, dark eyes.

“Just a moment, I’m going to talk with Yuu.”

“Koko, will you stay with me for a bit?”

“Huh?”

When Mako gently took Koko’s hand and asked, Koko looked anxiously back and forth between Mako and me.

I patted Koko’s head and gave her a tight hug.

Koko’s expression softened considerably.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just be sitting over there talking for a bit.”

“Okay!”

Koko isn’t… completely innocent.

But she’s not a child who tries to deceive me either. She’s just a child who loves being loved, who feels a lot of loneliness.

I just hope Mako and the others can become friends with Koko too.

Taking a deep breath, I strode over to Yuu.

And plopped down in front of her.

Since Yuu was sitting in a chair, I had to look up at her, and she had to look down at me.

Sitting with my knees pulled up to my chest, looking up at Yuu, she turned her head to look at me.

Her brow furrowed slightly. An expression that couldn’t quite gauge what I was suddenly trying to do.

“Yuu, do you have something on your mind?”

This is the Koko strategy.

No matter how hard I try to make expressions, I can never be as innocent as Koko. We look identical, but our underlying personalities are completely different.

But still, I’m in a position where I receive affection from Harumi and the others. Yuu probably… thought so too.

When we first met, Yuu was in the position of receiving affection from me.

Now there’s such a height difference between us.

Yuu’s eyes widened a bit.

I’ve said something similar before. In front of the karaoke place. I told Yuu we were friends then too, and Yuu accepted me to some extent.

But even so, I don’t feel like we’ve become incredibly close since then.

I feel like I’ve learned a bit about Yuu’s secret. It must be related to Yuu’s father, Mr. Yamashita. I’m a bit concerned since he’s someone who has helped me a lot too.

Yuu isn’t the type to speak up unless spoken to first. That much hasn’t changed from the past.

Yes. Mako was right.

Feeling my heart flutter a bit, I asked.

“If you have something troubling you… you can tell me.”

Was that too forward? Would Yuu close her heart if I suddenly approached her like this?

Indeed, Yuu’s expression was quite complex.

Right. I probably wasn’t like this back then either. I was influenced by Harumi, by the young Yuu, and finally by Mako, becoming much softer and more open in personality.

Through conversations with Yuka, and through diligently teaching Koko, who had much worse social skills than me.

My personality has changed this much. Of course, my essence hasn’t changed, but still.

To Yuu, am I just a stranger? Have I changed so much from my past self that I can no longer be called the same “Kotone”?

“…”

But Yuu’s complex expression slowly changed again.

Just a little, really just a little. To an expression that looked like she might cry.

And only then did I understand why Yuu had been facing me with such a stiff expression until now.

She must have gone through a lot of hardship.

Her father is a yakuza. And there are strange rumors going around. As a high school student, she’s still in her mid-teens… an age when one’s sensibilities are particularly delicate.

Yuu quickly turned her head toward the window.

“…”

And she remained silent for a moment, as if contemplating. Or perhaps she was hoping I would give up and leave on my own.

But I stayed put, staring at Yuu.

This too is something I learned from Koko.

Stubbornly waiting for an answer, just making my presence known.

“…”

Finally, as if unable to bear my gaze, Yuu turned her head sharply toward me and glared.

But her expression didn’t change.

At least now, that expression wasn’t scary anymore.

Yuu opened her mouth slightly, then glared at Mako instead.

But seeing that Mako was also looking this way with a bright smile, she put her hand to her forehead as if realizing there was no escape.

Mako, in high spirits, hugged Koko from behind as she sat on the floor in front of the sofa.

Koko didn’t seem particularly displeased.