Ch.43Amusement Park (1)

Anyway, after the minor commotion settled down, we immediately purchased all-day passes.

I wasn’t sure if the all-day passes would be worth it, but buying them first was the unwritten rule of amusement parks.

“Let’s go!”

Umi said as she pulled me along.

“Wait… being so openly touchy-feely is tacky! Your vulgar personality is showing.”

Taiga somehow started getting angry.

“Huh? Shota and I are basically dating. Can’t I touch him?”

Umi pressed her body against mine with a relaxed expression.

Something about Umi had changed… specifically, right after we had our “incident.” I guess you could say she gained confidence from that… anyway, that’s how it was.

“Oh really? Then I can do it too.”

Taiga immediately linked her arm with mine. My left and right arms were now sealed by the two of them.

Is this… what Exodia feels like when summoned?

“Why are you linking arms with him?! I can do it, but you can’t!!”

Umi immediately threw a warning pitch at Taiga.

“He’s my underling. Anything I do to him is legal.”

Taiga displayed a moral code worthy of a 1980s yakuza.

“Seriously…!! Shota, why are you smiling?! Hurry up and shake Taiga off!!!”

Umi shouted.

“Beep boop… I am a machine built on binary code. Your only options are to both let go of me or both continue holding my arms.”

I immediately pretended to be a robot.

Yes, I was an idiot. An idiot who only understood 0 and 1…

“What nonsense!”

“That was actually pretty creative!!”

Umi and Taiga immediately put my arms in submission holds. These two were getting better at their reactions.

“Help…”

Anyway, there was a limit to how much nonsense I could get away with. I muttered a plea for help toward Sasitsu.

“Hmph. How childish of everyone to get so excited.”

Sasitsu looked at the amusement park scenery with the most aloof expression she could muster.

“I see. Everyone is spoiled by peace… Well, that’s the sensibility of ordinary people.”

Her commitment to the concept was admirable, but carrying churros and mini popcorn while saying such things wasn’t very convincing. She was clearly enjoying herself too much.

——

Anyway, we decided to hit the less popular attractions first.

“Wow!!! Shota! Try this on!! You’re kind of like a dog, right?! You get attached to anyone!”

However, Umi’s attention was caught by a souvenir shop. She was holding up a headband with perky dog ears sticking out.

The price was a whopping 2,500 yen. How could a cheap headband cost over 20,000 won?

“Don’t you think he’s more like a cat? Always crying at random times.”

Taiga spoke as if she knew better, holding up a headband with cat ears.

“Cats don’t go ‘keeeeek’ when they cry!”

“Hehehe. It would be funny if there was a cat that cried like that.”

Soon, they both started chatting.

“Try them both on.”

“Yes. Let us big sisters judge which one suits you better.”

They immediately restrained me and put the headbands on me.

“Stop it!! These things only look cute on girls!! When guys wear them, it kills the mood!!”

I tried to resist right away. However, Umi and Taiga used their physical advantage to subdue me.

Squish-!

Ample bosoms pressed against me from both sides.

“T-touching your chests… my strength…”

My strength suddenly began draining at an incredible rate.

“Shota. Resistance is futile and will only tire you out.”

After that, Umi whispered something to me.

“Want to experience mandatory defense training later at home?”

“Urrrgh!!!!”

I had no choice but to submit to that threat. I didn’t want to die from overexertion after finally possessing someone in the world I’d always wanted to be in.

I put on the dog headband, feeling like a nobleman having his topknot cut off.

“………”

Umi stared at me in silence. Her face had turned bright red.

“Um… Umi? You should react.”

If she kept that expressionless face, I’d seriously want to kill myself.

Grab-!

Umi immediately grabbed my arm.

“This won’t do. Shota… let’s go somewhere private… okay? I can’t take this. I…”

Umi immediately tried to devour me.

“Hey!! You’ll get arrested for public indecency!!!”

She’s seriously out of control!

Something about Umi… she had opened Pandora’s box. After awakening to sexuality, she’d turned into a sex monster.

“…N-not bad.”

Taiga was also staring at me intently with a flushed face.

Just laugh it off. This kind of reaction is even more awkward.

“But the cat one is better!! Look!”

Taiga immediately put the cat headband on me.

“Hmm… this isn’t bad either.”

“His eyes are kind of upturned, right? Very cat-like?”

The two exchanged opinions.

“Shota. Meow like a cat.”

Umi said.

“Umi, even I have limits to what I can dmeowww.”

I tried to refuse but ended up imitating a cat at the end. That’s because Taiga raised her fist.

In the end, they bought both headbands.

The financial sense of high school girls spending over 50,000 won on two headbands was simply terrifying.

“Later… when we get home, you know? Let’s do an animal concept with these headbands.”

Umi said with eyes gleaming with desire.

No. What happens after we get home is even scarier.

Ms. Asuna… Master Gonzaemon. I’m sorry. I’ve awakened a monster. A monster of lust.

“Sasitsu…”

I looked at Sasitsu, the only key to resolving this chaos.

Click-!

Sasitsu was taking a picture next to a mascot wearing a character costume.

“Thank you, ribbit!! I’ll stamp your card, ribbit!!”

The frog-shaped mascot immediately stamped her attraction card with a thud.

“To think collecting all stamps allows entry into a prize drawing… what a base marketing tactic. Nevertheless, I shall play along.”

Sasitsu muttered with a strangely pleased expression.

She’s enjoying herself too much. I decided against making any snarky comments.

——–

Following Umi’s amusement park philosophy, we decided to ride the less crowded attractions first.

Piri-riri-! Pipi-!

As the famous classical music transformed into something resembling an 8-bit soundtrack, I rode the merry-go-round.

Ah… so relaxing. The moderate speed and appropriate sense of tedium were what made it enjoyable.

“Heave-ho! Heave-ho!!!”

Umi and Taiga were riding the teacup attraction attached to the merry-go-round. Taiga was spinning the cup with tremendous force. It was almost like a centrifuge.

“Kyahaha! Taiga!! Stop it!!”

Umi tried to stop Taiga but laughed joyfully. Well… for people who fought all the time, they got along surprisingly well.

——-

After that, we took turns riding attractions that seemed suitable for kids.

“We must collect stamps.”

Strangely, Sasitsu gave the orders. Because we needed to collect stamps, Sasitsu wanted to ride as many different attractions as possible. She was truly in enjoyment mode. She was having fun, completely forgetting her cool-kid concept.

Anyway, after conquering the rides one by one, we decided to rest on a bench.

I was conscious of the stares around us. Well, Umi was an overwhelmingly beautiful girl, and Taiga would be just as beautiful if she didn’t act like a delinquent. Envious gazes from men were directed at Sasitsu and me. Honestly, it didn’t feel bad. It gave me a sense of superiority, I guess. Anyway, that’s how it was.

“Now we should hit the popular attractions.”

Umi said.

“That’s right. They have stamps you can only get there.”

Sasitsu said, holding up a stamp card that was more than half filled. She was also holding a five-tier ice cream cone, devouring it at an incredible pace.

“It’s getting into the afternoon so the lines will be longer, but they’ll be even worse later.”

Umi said as she was about to stand up.

That’s when it happened.

“Excuse me, folks. Aren’t you going to visit the zoo?”

A man blocked our path.

A peculiar individual wearing a spandex shirt with giraffe patterns and a huge giraffe head costume stood before us.

“Aaaah!!! It’s a crazy person!!!”

Umi immediately blurted out something rude.

“Seriously!! Almost on Shota’s level of crazy?!”

Taiga chuckled.

No. What does that mean? Why am I the benchmark for crazy people?

“The Giraffe Man has appeared!!”

I involuntarily roared.

“You… I heard your passionate speech in front of the amusement park clearly.”

At that moment, Giraffe Man looked straight at me.

Shit… I’ve caught the crazy person’s interest.

“Indeed, a zoo without giraffes can hardly be called a zoo. Because there are no giraffes, our zoo section is completely deserted.”

Giraffe Man pointed to the zoo entrance.

It really was empty. Only an elderly couple who seemed to enjoy walking were leisurely strolling along the zoo path.

There weren’t many exhibits to begin with. The only noteworthy ones were monkeys. The rest were dogs, cats, hamsters, and other animals you could see anywhere. I wondered if this could even be called a zoo.

“If only we had giraffes…!!! We could grow to rival Osaka’s Univasha Studio or Tokyo’s Mouse Land!!!”

He spoke with clear eyes visible through the costume head.

“Come on… would adding giraffes really change things that dramatically?”

Umi raised her habitual objection.

“We’ve repeatedly petitioned the Emoshita Land management to add giraffes. But they keep refusing with various excuses.”

Giraffe Man said.

“Realizing I couldn’t do it alone, I even created a non-profit organization. People Searching for Giraffes, or PSG for short.”

I just learned useless information I never wanted to know.

“Right now, we’re collecting signatures for a petition to add giraffes. Would you mind signing? It won’t take much of your time.”

Giraffe Man handed us paper and a pen.

Well… it felt awkward to refuse, so we signed the petition.

Afterward, Giraffe Man approached other visitors.

Of course, they all froze and started running away. That’s the normal reaction, I suppose.

“Looks like there are many people like Shota in the world?”

Umi muttered.

“What do you mean ‘people like me’!!!”

That really offends me! I’m not that crazy!!!

Anyway, after resting a bit, we immediately hit the roller coaster.

We waited in line for 30 minutes, but the actual ride lasted only 1 minute.

It was fun… but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a waste of time. But that’s what amusement parks are all about, I guess.