Ch.438IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (135)

……Hmm.

What feels strange since coming to this world is that I get hurt when people around me don’t like me.

Well, that’s not to say people around me dislike me. It’s just odd that I feel hurt even when I merely perceive it that way.

I suppose it makes sense, since in my previous life I had cut ties with almost everyone.

It wasn’t exactly a good thing. If I had to explain, it was simply the end result of someone who faced hardship and couldn’t overcome it.

But even so, when you toughen up through social interactions, you eventually stop getting hurt by small jabs from others. Social life isn’t always gentle, so you can’t afford to maintain a soft heart.

So it was a strange feeling to be intimidated by a teenage girl glaring at me.

“…Are you okay?”

Yuu was glaring at me even as she asked that.

“Yeah, I’m fine…”

“…You got hit by a car, how can you be fine? They said you needed to be hospitalized.”

Looking at Yuu as she spoke with her legs crossed and arms folded, I felt confused.

Does she want to be angry, or is she worried?

Actually, I somewhat remembered scenes like this.

This was how my younger sister used to show concern for me.

We would fight like we wanted to kill each other normally, and when we were younger, we hurled unspeakable insults at each other, but we never completely severed our family ties.

As we grew older and our personal boundaries became established, with less reason to invade each other’s space, my sister’s attitude improved considerably.

But it’s also true that we still couldn’t be completely honest with each other, so my last memory of my sister was of us bickering and arguing.

Maybe that’s why I can’t forget it.

Well, anyway.

Given my profession, I sometimes had to go to rather dangerous-looking places. When major accidents happened in my coverage area, or even large forest fires a bit farther away.

At those times, my sister would text me asking, “Are you alive?”

“…”

But was she really this intimidating?

“Now, now.”

Before I could speak, another friend intervened.

Rather boldly, reaching from behind to gently press Yuu’s cheeks from both sides to make her look like a goldfish—it was Harumi, of course.

She’s probably the bravest among us.

“If you glare like that, you’ll scare Kotone. Yuu-chan needs to fix that habit of frowning whenever something happens.”

“Habit?”

As I murmured and looked up at Harumi, she nodded while standing behind Yuu, who was sitting in a chair next to my bed.

“Yeah. Yuu has… how should I put it, a habit of expressing all negative emotions with just one expression.”

“…I don’t do that.”

Yuu said with a slight whine as she removed Harumi’s hands.

I don’t think she had that habit when she was younger.

Well, my memories of young Yuu are divided into two phases. The time when she truly knew nothing, when she mistook Kagami for her mother. Back then, Yuu was completely innocent, as if she knew absolutely nothing.

At some point she slowly began to understand reality, and the Yuu I last remembered had become somewhat darker than before.

But she didn’t have this personality of lumping all negative emotions into one expression.

…Could it be some kind of defense mechanism?

“…”

Kagami had been watching over my hospital room even the day after I missed school, so she was naturally here.

While I had become much less awkward with Yuu after seeing her face several times, Kagami still seemed a bit uncomfortable around Yuu.

The Yuu that Kagami remembers is probably similar to the one I remember… but Kagami saw her as an adult.

Even knowing that Yuu had mistaken her for her mother—that “thing”—Kagami seemed to feel sympathy rather than discomfort toward Yuu.

Or perhaps empathy. Kagami was also related to that thing, and if we consider the damage, she suffered far more.

So Kagami would generally indulge Yuu whenever she acted spoiled around her. After Yuu realized that Kagami wasn’t actually her mother, she became somewhat more considerate, so their relationship was relatively good.

Then suddenly, Kagami disappeared. Without a word.

I can’t imagine how shocking that must have been for young Yuu. And for Kagami, it must have left her with guilt, even if it’s difficult to call it her fault.

“So, how are you, Kotone-chan? You’re not seriously injured, are you?”

“I just bumped my head a little. I’m staying an extra day just in case, but the doctor said I’m fine.”

Yuu’s gaze grew even sharper.

…If that’s what a concerned look is supposed to be.

Maybe Yuu’s face when she was being dragged away by Harumi wasn’t actually glaring at me but showing a “pitiful expression”?

“…By the way.”

I suddenly became curious and asked.

“How did the meeting go yesterday?”

“Huh? Why bring that up suddenly?”

Harumi blinked in surprise, and Yuu glared at me. Ah, looking at it now, I can see some variation in her expression. Or rather, should I call it dissonance? Even if I can’t tell what kind of emotion it is, I can tell it’s “different.”

With time, maybe I’ll be able to read her quickly.

“Well, it just ended like that. We went to karaoke, exchanged numbers, and that was it. No contact since then.”

Harumi sighed as she finished her report and shook her head.

They looked like studious boys from the start, and I guess they really were.

I gave a bitter smile at that.

“…What about you?”

Yuu asked.

“Hm?”

“You went with Mako and those other boys.”

“Ah.”

I smiled wryly.

“We broke up much earlier than you guys.”

Actually, those boys were more like us—they didn’t particularly want to come along but ended up doing so.

We just brought two extra people each to match numbers.

…Well, come to think of it, Yuu was also half-forced to go on our side, so maybe Harumi was the only one who actually wanted to meet boys?

Seeing Yuu staring at me intently, I thought I understood why things didn’t work out between Harumi and those boys.

No matter how pretty she is, who could properly approach when there’s a girl next to her with only one expression—glaring?

…Though I do think it might be dangerous in its own way if Yuu went around smiling brightly.

*

In the evening, Yamashita Yuu left the hospital room with her friend Harumi.

Someone followed behind them as if seeing them off.

Kotone’s mother, Kagami.

Yuu had followed Kagami when she was young.

At first, because she resembled her mother.

Later, simply because she treated Yuu gently.

When she was very young, very briefly, she had only imagined it. If Kagami became Yuu’s mother, wouldn’t Yuu get a little sister?

How fun would it be to become real sisters with a close friend and live together in the same room?

But that became a bubble that burst in an instant.

After that, Yuu’s life became thoroughly tangled. It felt like something was stuck in her future.

The woman Yuu had followed like an older sister was somehow by her father’s side. Despite her father’s discomfort, she was trying to take Yuu’s mother’s place.

Kotone, who could have become her sister, had brought her real little sister along.

The woman who could have become her mother changed her name and became someone else.

No, she wasn’t that different from the person she was back then.

She was still kind. She had aged a bit more, and over time had developed a somewhat melancholic air, but Kagami was still Kagami.

Someone who loved her daughter more than anyone.

…Perhaps that was why Yuu had such imaginings.

“Yuu-chan.”

“…”

At Kagami’s voice, Yuu stopped walking.

“I’ll go ahead.”

Harumi, quick to read the situation, said that and ran off. Even after being told not to run in the hospital corridor.

“…”

Kagami hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Have you been well all this time?”

No, I haven’t.

The words wouldn’t come out.

It was too late now.

To call her mother—that person had already gone too far. Now there was someone in Yuu’s mother’s place, and someone in that person’s husband’s place.

“…Yes.”

That was all Yuu said.

Kagami mumbled for a while before bowing her head deeply.

“Um, Yuu-chan.”

Kagami hesitated for a moment, in a manner very similar to her daughter, then said:

“Come visit sometime when you’re free.”

“…”

Yuu couldn’t give any answer.

Somehow, she felt that if she opened her mouth, she would blurt out all sorts of things carelessly, just like in the old days.

She just nodded slightly.

Kagami smiled as if even that was a relief.

Yuu turned around somewhat hastily and walked quickly down the corridor.

Just fast enough to barely avoid breaking the rule the nurse had mentioned when scolding Harumi earlier.