Ch.42Comfort (1)

*

Tick tock, tick tock,

The sound of Silvia unbuttoning her clothes one by one echoed throughout the room.

As her hands moved upward from the bottom button, more of her skin was gradually revealed.

Beyond the silk fabric that gently collapsed onto the bed covers, having lost the tension that held it in place and surrendering to gravity.

Her fair skin, as white as silk but certainly much softer, peeked through.

Her skin flinched slightly, as if unaccustomed to exposure to the outside air.

On that beautiful skin, which slowly expanded and contracted with her breathing, well-defined abdominal muscles and old scars were etched like a painting.

She deliberately unbuttoned slowly as if to tease me, but only one button remained, revealing a glimpse of the underside of her breasts.

The garment didn’t have many buttons to begin with.

The lone remaining button couldn’t withstand the pressure of her large breasts pressing against it, and it came undone on its own with just the slightest touch.

Her large breasts spilled onto the bed covers.

And simultaneously, an incredibly hot and dizzingly sweet air filled the narrow space between her body and mine.

I didn’t stop her.

I didn’t make a fuss like I used to.

Of course, I wasn’t excited either.

I just blankly watched what she was doing.

The atmosphere was quite different from that day when she had unbuttoned her nightgown in front of me.

There was no mischievous smile or playful teasing in Silvia’s expression.

There was no embarrassment or shyness, nor any sign of firm resolve.

As if it were something absolutely necessary, she simply calmly slipped her top off her shoulders and whispered softly.

“Come here.”

Silvia slowly pulled my head toward her hot, sweet skin.

I offered no resistance, allowing myself to be drawn in by her guiding hand.

Her fair flesh filled my vision.

Her breasts pressed against my nose, mouth, and cheeks.

The scent filling my nostrils was dizzyingly sweet, and her body was as hot as that fragrance.

Drawn by that warmth that somehow melted my heart, I slowly exhaled against her skin.

“Ah,”

Silvia flinched slightly but gently embraced my back with one hand.

And with her other hand, she held my head softly and whispered.

“I checked before bathing, but still… one more time,”

“…”

“Let me check your body once more.”

Saying this, she slowly moved her hand from my back downward.

Her fingers, reaching near my thighs, pulled at the hem of my tunic.

Since my bloodstained clothes and underwear had been soaking in river water she had fetched, I was completely naked beneath the tunic.

But I didn’t resist.

I felt no shame.

I was too exhausted and in too much pain to feel such things.

She slowly pulled the tunic up to my navel.

Her hand paused briefly before slowly caressing upward from my thighs.

Slowly, gently,

Her hand paused just below my buttocks.

“There’s still a wound here.”

“…”

“I’ll heal it for you.”

Her body seemed to glow slightly.

It was a light I had seen several times before.

The white light that appears when holy power is manifested.

Suddenly, the image of the man whose throat I had torn out flashed through my mind, and I trembled as I burrowed deeper into her embrace.

Silvia wasn’t surprised by my sudden movement.

Rather, as if she had expected it, she slowly patted my head.

“…It’s okay.”

“…”

What’s okay?

That person died because of me, and he probably had a family.

I don’t know why they came all the way to this forest, but they must have approached my location after hearing the explosion I caused with the carriage.

It’s as good as me drawing them to their deaths.

No, not “as good as”—

I killed them.

I lured them in, and I personally killed them.

I tried to grab her collar tightly.

“Ah!”

Oh, she had already removed her top.

I was clutching her skin tightly.

“A-Ash?”

“…Silvia,”

“Um… yes? What is it?”

“…Did you… feel like this too?”

Silvia nodded slightly and answered.

“…Probably.”

“Probably…?”

“You and I have different situations and backgrounds…”

“…”

“I had killed people before. Of course, they were bandits or murderers… so I was somewhat used to it…”

“…”

“But killing innocent people is different… especially killing a newborn baby, it was really…”

She couldn’t continue her words.

That’s right,

She caused an entire village to die.

Her situation was probably far more serious than mine.

Alone, she moved the bodies piled throughout the village, went through empty houses desperately matching names and faces of the dead, carved those tombstones by herself, buried them alone…

And she had imprisoned herself there, living in that place.

My God.

…It’s madness.

It’s impossible.

It’s not something a sane person would do.

I couldn’t bear it.

Even now, I feel like I’m dying.

Being a hero, being a champion,

For a mere word that only exists on people’s lips, how much weight must it carry for her to have endured all this silently and alone?

“Was it very difficult…?”

“Maybe… not as much as for you, Ash…”

That’s a lie.

It must have been several times more painful and agonizing than what I experienced.

Moreover, it’s a curse that doesn’t even allow escape through death.

I hugged Silvia tightly.

Silvia whispered softly in my ear.

“Besides, I didn’t have you then.”

“…Ah,”

“If I had you, it would have been easier to endure.”

Only then did I realize how childish I was being.

At least I have her.

But she had no one.

Oh, goodness.

Silvia.

“How… how did you endure it? All that time… alone…?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t really remember.”

“…?”

“I tried not to feel, not to think, not to realize.”

“Silvia…”

“…Of course, I’m not saying it felt short. It was long.”

“…”

“Really, really long… A day felt like a year, and a year felt like a hundred years.”

“…”

“That’s why I don’t know the date, it was too hard to count… When I counted, it felt like time wasn’t moving at all… It was so terrible… I deliberately didn’t count.”

“…”

“…But I’m okay now.”

I didn’t need to hear the next words to understand.

Because I’m here.

“Ash… do you remember what I told you before?”

“…?”

Silvia gently pressed her lips to my forehead.

The sound of a kiss echoed through the room.

I looked up at her.

Silvia’s red eyes were tinged with an indescribable tenderness.

“Perhaps you are the reward the goddess bestowed upon me.”

No.

I’m not that special.

It seemed ridiculous that she, a hero, would find happiness with someone like me.

It felt like a cruel joke.

If the reward for her achievements was someone like me, it was, to use a harsh comparison, like working for a government agency for a year and receiving only a teddy bear as payment.

Is she really satisfied with that?

Just that?

Someone like me?

I silently looked at Silvia.

She smiled faintly.

Looking at her face, she didn’t seem to be lying.

How could she, after enduring such pain alone, want someone like me?

Her hand began to move again slowly.

It moved up my side, avoiding my buttocks.

The hem of my tunic caught slightly on her wrist, then slid up along her arm.

Her hand, which had reached my chest, paused briefly before starting to stroke my back slowly.

Her hand, which felt very warm, meticulously caressed my broad back as if not to miss even the smallest wound.

With my bare legs exposed to the cold air, I moved closer to her.

Silvia froze with a slightly surprised expression.

“Ash?”

I pressed my naked body against hers.

Of course, I had no lustful thoughts or ulterior motives.

I was just cold, and just… scared.

I couldn’t understand how she had endured for nearly four years.

Even with her beside me, I feel so scared and afraid.

I’m certain I’ll have terrible nightmares tonight.

I couldn’t comprehend how she had endured without anyone.

I slowly moved closer to her.

We were already as close as possible, but still I moved closer.

Pressing, pushing my naked body against her naked body.

I wanted to feel the warmth of Silvia’s hot skin with my entire body.

Silvia didn’t question further and embraced me.

My entire body was tightly compressed.

A strength far greater than my own embrace held us firmly together.

Her red eyes slowly closed and opened.

Each time, it felt as if the light of the world disappeared and reappeared.

Her ruby-red eyes were the only light I could see.

I wanted to get closer to that light.

I wanted to enter into that light.

I wanted to immerse myself in her warmth that would make me forget this pain and fear.

I slowly moved toward her face.

“Ah…”

She closed her eyes.

I closed mine too.

A hot sigh escaped from her lips.

It’s strange.

Even as she exhales, it feels like she’s pulling me in.

I slowly pressed my lips against hers.

“Ah, mmph,”

A soft kiss,

A gentle kiss,

Silvia suddenly opened her eyes wide and looked at me.

I pushed her chin up with the top of my head and rested my forehead on her collarbone.

Her large breasts softly cradled my lower jaw.

I spoke slowly.

“No.”

“…What?”

“It’s not about… rewards or anything like that.”

“…”

“This is simply because I want to do it. Because I… need you, Silvia.”

I raised my face again and gently pressed my lips against hers.

The soft sensation was pressed firmly, then separated, leaving a slight moisture.

“So…”

At that moment, Silvia grabbed my shoulders and suddenly flipped me onto the bed.

My view abruptly changed to the ceiling.

Then she entered my field of vision.

She climbed on top of me, pinning my shoulders down.

“Silvia.”

Wordlessly, she slipped both hands under my tunic, which had risen to my chest, and slowly lifted it off.

I offered no resistance and raised my arms.

My vision was briefly obscured as the tunic passed over my head, then I could see her again.

I was completely naked, and she too had her large bare breasts exposed.

She looked down at me with her red eyes.

Not just her eyes, but her face, her clearly visible collarbone, and the upper part of her chest were all flushed red.

“Open your mouth.”

She said this in a firm tone and firmly held both my cheeks.

Her blonde hair flowed down, tickling my face.

I slowly parted my lips.

She comes closer.

Ah.

May this moment comfort me.

May it save me from the sin I’ve committed.

May her rough breathing drown out the voices of those who died because of me.

I closed my eyes, desperately hoping.