Chapter 42 – Misunderstanding

Rê​a&d;& ;õ​n ‍K​aｔ​Rëa​d​iｎg̃Cａ​f́ｅ

As the stinging sunlight brushed against my eyes, they opened on their own.

“Ugh…”

I turned my body away from the sunlight to a place where it couldn’t reach me and closed my eyes again.

But after a while, the sunlight followed me. Not wanting to wake up, I tossed and turned to escape it. In the end, I was completely pushed off the couch and had no choice but to get up.

When I sat up, Narae awkwardly looked at me and greeted me with a hesitant, “You’re awake.”

She even brought me water, asking if I was thirsty. It reminded me of when I had just taken her in a while  ago.

I was confused, but I was indeed thirsty, so I accepted the water without refusing and drank it. The cool sensation woke me up a little, but I still wondered why she was acting like this.

“Narae, you seem unusually polite today… Did something happen to change your mind about me?”

Based on her usual behavior, I knew she wouldn’t act this formally without reason. Since she was acting this way now, I figured something must have happened.

…What did I do yesterday?

“Ah, no, nothing really happened! Of course not! Really, it’s nothing at all. It’s just… yeah, like you said, I guess I had a bit of a change of heart…?”

From the way she spoke, it was clear something had happened. But what was it? Why was she trying so hard to avoid talking about it?

Watching her, I tried to recall what I had done yesterday. After I said I was heading home… what did I do?

I was low on blood, so I grabbed the nearest thing I could find and fed on it, took their phone, called Narae to bring me some clothes nearby… That was about it, wasn’t it?

I had no memory of threatening Narae in any way, so I couldn’t understand why she was being so cautious around me.

Did she suddenly come to the realization that I was dangerous…? Oh.

As I ran through possible explanations, one idea came to mind that made me drop my head in realization.

Ah, if it’s that, then I guess it can’t be helped. Anyone would be extra careful around a mass murderer.

“…Is this because of what I did in Seoul?”

Narae didn’t answer me. Instead, she suddenly blurted out that cryptocurrency prices had plummeted and rushed over to her laptop, saying she needed to sell before it dropped any further.

It was an obvious attempt to change the subject, but I didn’t blame her. If I were in her shoes, I’d probably do the same.

Our relationship hadn’t exactly started on good terms, so expecting her to show me unwavering loyalty would be too much.

I ran a hand down my face, berating my stupid brain for not realizing this sooner.

How could I not figure out something this obvious? Just how dumb am I?

Dwelling on self-loathing wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I decided to ask Narae directly.

“Narae. How many people died?”

I could easily check my phone right next to me and find out for myself, but the thought of doing it with my own hands was too terrifying. Instead, I asked Narae to look it up for me.

She didn’t answer immediately. When I called her name again, she quickly assured me that she wasn’t ignoring me—she was just searching for the information, so I should wait a little longer.

There’s no need to be that scared—

…No, actually, there is. If a monster who slaughtered magical girls was sitting right in front of me, I’d be terrified too.

“Well… um, they haven’t finished assessing the full extent of the damage yet, so it’s not certain… Maybe we should wait a bit…”

“But they must have released something by now. Even if it’s not completely accurate, just tell me what they’re saying so far.”

I knew it wasn’t her fault, but my nerves were so on edge that I ended up pressing her.

Faced with my insistence, Narae muttered something about how this was only because I was curious—probably to protect herself—and then finally told me the latest reported numbers.

“Well, according to this report… the confirmed casualties are in the ten-thousands…”

…
……

Ten-thousands?

No way.

“Ten-thousands? You didn’t misread it? It’s not hundreds or thousands? It really says ten-thousands?”

I couldn’t believe it. I asked her again.

I wanted her to say she had misread it. I wanted her to apologize and say she had made a mistake.

But instead, she confirmed that I had heard correctly—no matter how conservatively they estimated it, the number of casualties was in the ten-thousands.

…Ten-thousands of casualties?

I caused ten-thousand deaths? Just because I wanted to survive?

My hands trembled violently. My blood felt like ice, chilling me to the core. I could barely breathe.

I knew I had lost control beyond my awareness. I knew I had even taken down magical girls. And I knew I wasn’t in some deserted ruin—I had done it in the middle of Seoul.

But.

I never imagined it would be this bad.

“Th-thousands of people died…? No, that can’t be right. That has to be a lie.”

No. That can’t be true. That shouldn’t be true.

I only did it to survive. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this.

I—I was just trying to mess with White a little. How did it turn into this…?

“Hic, huff…”

I—I didn’t mean for this to happen…

Just as the tears were about to spill over, Narae rushed over in a panic.

“Miss Mina! The casualties and the death toll are different! The official number of confirmed deaths is only around 200!”

“…Huh? Casualties aren’t the same as deaths…?”

I genuinely didn’t know, so I asked.

Narae smacked her forehead and told me they were two different things.

“So… that means… it’s not like ten-thousand people died…?”

Narae nodded and reassured me that the actual confirmed deaths were only about 200. She even added that if ten-thousand people had died, she would have already run away long ago.

200 People…

…It’s by no means a small number.

Even knowing that, I couldn’t stop myself from unconsciously muttering, That’s a relief.

“Hh… Hhaa…”

A mix of relief and guilt swirled within me, creating an indescribable feeling. But at least, I could breathe a little easier than before.

“…Sniff. Well… it’s possible not to know.”

Narae, watching me, didn’t bother adding any words and quietly excused herself, saying she was going back to making money.

…200 people.

At first, relief took precedence, but now, guilt crept in. The thought of having killed 200 innocent people weighed heavily on me.

But… maybe that wasn’t entirely true.

Shining White’s criteria for ‘selection’ weren’t just based on strength, but also on morality.

If that’s the case, then perhaps some of those 200 were evil people. Thinking that made it just a little easier to bear.

It didn’t change the fact that innocent lives had been lost, but for now, I wanted to cling to whatever small comfort I could find.

Wanting to change my mood and gauge how serious this incident was, I picked up my phone.

There was a call from Suhyeok.

…There shouldn’t be any reason for him to call me right now. Was he going to talk about what happened in Seoul?

If that was the case, I was too afraid to answer, so I let the call ring until it ended.

I didn’t want to reject it outright… that felt wrong.

When the call finally stopped, I saw that it was actually the fourth missed call from him.

Ah. I had my phone on silent, huh? That’s why I missed all these calls…

…If he was trying this hard to reach me, then he must have something important to say.

If he was that desperate, wouldn’t it be rude not to answer?

Even if he brought up what happened in Seoul, I had to face it. Summoning my courage, I picked up the next call.

“…Hello?”

My voice was still shaky from crying, breaking a little as I spoke. But he must have understood.

I waited for him to say something since I didn’t trust my voice to say more.

Then, out of nowhere, he said:

— The Hemorrhagia incident… isn’t your fault. So don’t dwell on it too much.

It’s not my fault.

I knew exactly what he meant.

That wasn’t a statement directed at me—it was meant for Sung Mina, the vampire.

He assumed I was feeling guilty about what my ‘mother’ had done and was trying to comfort me.

I understood.

But how could I not hear it as if he was saying I wasn’t at fault?

“…Right? It’s not my fault, is it? I… I didn’t do anything wrong, right?”

I knew that wasn’t true at all. But I just wanted to hear someone say it. Anyone.

I clung to his words, desperately hoping he’d say it again.

— …Yeah. It’s not your fault.

I knew it was nothing more than a pathetic attempt to erase my guilt, but his words were so sweet, so warm, that I clung to them like a child nestling into a parent’s embrace.

“…Thanks. I feel a little better now. Haah… Yeah, I’m really okay. Really. So… was that all you needed?”

Now that I had received comfort, I felt a lot better—at least enough to pretend to be cheerful.

— No. There’s something else. I can’t be certain, but… I suspect that vampires have appeared in Incheon. I don’t know if they have anything to do with Hemorrhagia, but I figured you should know. Are they your family?

Ah, so that’s what this is about.

…I need to be careful now.

I already knew these were vampires under my elder’s faction. If I said they weren’t my family, things could get complicated.

It was already complicated enough, but at least I was still barely holding the reins.

“Did you see anyone with brown or golden hair?”

— No. It was too dark to tell. But I did see them manipulating and drinking blood.

I see. So he hasn’t identified them individually yet.

That means… this might work.

“No. I don’t know them.”

I made my denial firm and absolute, while I started weaving my next move.

I had too many things left to do to let guilt consume me now.

hevb