Ch.41Request, Devil Hunt (9)

“There’s no threat to my life, rather I can gain various information. Finding myself in such a situation, I was able to regain my composure quickly.

“I’m calm now.”

“Good, but what were you thinking to misunderstand like that?”

“When you asked how to deal with the hiding rat, of course I misunderstood.”

“I was just saying that you were being too harsh on our new recruit.”

Leo looked at me as if I was pathetic.

But Leo was also at fault for just saying things that could easily be misunderstood. So this isn’t entirely my responsibility.

Anyway, now I should ask what I’ve been curious about. And I mean really, insanely curious about.

“Was the whole magic thing just an act?”

It’s a bit awkward to ask this, but honestly, I’m more curious about this than the Demon King’s plan. Was it really all just an act?

“Well… it’s more like sincere feelings that are extremely close to being an act.”

But Leo’s answer was ambiguous. So is it sincere? Or is it an act?

As I continued to look at him questioningly, Leo elaborated.

“I started it as a means of escape, but I genuinely enjoyed researching magic. Maybe being a mage actually suited me.”

“So going berserk when someone insults magic is an act, right?”

“That’s also sincere feelings that are extremely close to being an act.”

Unfortunately, the answer was that it wasn’t an act but sincere. But there seemed to be a contradiction in his answer.

“Then why did you say you were wearing a mask?”

“Even if it’s a mask, who wouldn’t feel bad when something they truly like gets insulted? And this can be allowed as my one refuge.”

“But isn’t that an overreaction?”

“You know what’s left in my life if even magic is denied.”

What would be left if you took magic away from Leo? Then there would be nothing special about him except that he was a hero.

It would be fine if that hero was ordinary, but the problem is that he’s a hero covered in all sorts of terrible memories and guilt.

So Leo’s extreme reaction to magic must be a kind of defense mechanism.

“Then why did you get so immersed in magic?”

“Because I genuinely enjoyed researching it. But I think I mentioned that earlier.”

Is that really sincere? There’s one way to test it. A very definitive way.

“But the more I look at it, magic really seems stupid.”

Leo’s demeanor changed instantly. At least he didn’t engage in strange antics like before, but it was clearly evident that he was angry.

So it is sincere. Now I need to bow my head and apologize immediately.

“I was just testing you! It wasn’t my true opinion at all!”

“Then why did you suddenly test me?”

“Well… I was curious if you were really doing that in your right mind…”

“Of course that was slightly exaggerated.”

“…That was only slightly exaggerated?”

“Yes, but I still maintain boundaries.”

That was absolutely not slightly exaggerated. And he crossed boundaries like he was playing jump rope, going completely crazy.

So I looked at Leo with an incredulous expression. Leo then asked me with a puzzled look.

“How exactly did I appear in your eyes?”

“No, was that really just slightly exaggerated?”

“Maybe the intensity is a bit weak? Then I should increase it…”

“No, damn it, it’s already so intense I feel like I’m going to die, and you want to increase it more?”

It’s already sufficiently painful. The fact that he can increase it further is surprising. What exactly is inside Leo’s head?

“…This is considered intense?”

“Then how intense did you think it was?”

“Isn’t it just like a child throwing a tantrum?”

“…Do children in this world instill fear in people around them when they throw tantrums?”

Even in my world, children would transform into terrifying beings during holidays, but at least they weren’t that frightening.

If children break things at home, Leo was like someone who burns down the entire house.

Anyway, Leo spoke in an extremely deflated voice, as if he had received a deep shock.

“…At least I achieved my goal of driving people away.”

“What was your original goal?”

“No… I was trying to make people gradually distance themselves by treating me as an annoying person…”

“…I’ll let you know that you’re currently being treated like a walking time bomb.”

“…But if I maintain this state, I can continue to drive people away.”

Leo said in a gloomy voice. Thanks to that, I was convinced that the person in front of me was indeed Leo.

This is really the Leo I knew.

“But why do you need to drive people away?”

“There’s nothing more foolish than giving affection to someone who’s about to die.”

“…What?”

“I only have about a year left to live, and my effective lifespan is less than a month.”

Leo was calmly telling the fact that he was dying. No, he was actually speaking as if he was slightly happy about it.

Because of this, my head felt dizzy, as if it had been hit by something.

“If I’m lucky, I might live two or three more months, but I don’t want to live that long anyway.”

“…You only have a year left to live?”

“Yes. Finally, peace is coming to me.”

He spoke as if he truly had no attachments to this world. But something felt strange.

I clearly paid a huge price even though I only used 2-3 years of my lifespan. Yet Leo seems perfectly fine right now.

“But you look perfectly fine?”

“I told you, I’m wearing a mask.”

Leo rolled up his long sleeve to show me his bare arm.

“‘Veil Release.'”

With Leo’s words, all sorts of magic circles and injection marks suddenly appeared on his bare arm. No, “revealed” might be the correct word?

And with the words “Veil Activation,” the arm became clean again.

“My body is completely broken, to the point where excruciating pain spreads throughout my entire body even now. I’m just forcing this body to move.”

“…Why are you doing this?”

“Because staying in a hospital room until death is unbearably boring.”

“What if things go wrong and you die?”

“At least it’s much better than dying in a hospital room, I think.”

Leo said with a grin, as if he wanted to die.

I wish this was also an act, but it doesn’t seem like it.

“…What did you do to make your lifespan like that?”

“You know I’m strong enough to defeat the Demon King alone, right? Then where do you think such power comes from?”

“…How much of your lifespan did you use?”

“All of it except for six years.”

I understood even more why Leo wore a mask.

He fought by sacrificing even his lifespan. But what did he gain from doing so? Nothing but trauma and a completely broken body.

But Leo continued speaking without caring at all. Probably thanks to wearing a mask.

“I plan to leave the office in two weeks, using the excuse that I’ll spend the rest of my life in a magic tower. Then I plan to die alone in a place where no one is around. Doesn’t that seem like a fitting end for me?”

Leo added, as if something had occurred to him.

“Don’t tell the others about this, I don’t want to make them sad unnecessarily.”

Suddenly, I felt a huge contradiction in Leo’s words.

“…Are you really wearing a mask?”

“Yes. But why do you ask that suddenly?”

“Then why are you pretending to be kind? You said earlier that you were trying to drive people away.”

But there was one fact that contradicted what I just said even more.

“And if you’re driving people away, why do you continue to stay with Agath and Rebecca?”

Leo’s expression darkened rapidly, as if I had hit a sore spot. Maybe everything related to the mask is a lie?

It doesn’t matter if it’s not the truth. I just wish it was all a lie.

I thought we had built some friendship during the week we spent together, and if that was all a lie, I would feel betrayed.

“…Because I missed human warmth so much.”

Leo said with an even darker expression.

“I know I don’t deserve it. But I wanted to live normally like others. I wanted to spend meaningless days as an ordinary person, not constantly fighting as a hero.”

The more he spoke, the darker Leo’s expression and voice became.

“But the real me is a murderer. A disgusting murderer who has killed countless people. Such a murderer shouldn’t be given sanctuary.”

Leo’s voice was trembling as if crushed by something.

“Still, I missed human warmth so much. But I should never be happy. Then, wouldn’t it be okay for my false self to be happy?”

But that voice quickly became calm.

“So I wore a mask. I couldn’t face other people without doing this.”

And his face gradually changed to an expressionless one.

“The time I spent with others was truly enjoyable, to the point where I wondered if it was too good for me.”

Eventually, Leo’s expression returned to his usual gentle smile.

“Isn’t it disgusting? After killing so many people, I’m using the excuse of a mask to live happily.”

“…”

What lies at the end of severe self-hatred? In Leo’s case, it was abandoning himself.

There was still a mountain of things I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want to ask anymore. Anyway, all the answers would only be tragic.

But there was still something I absolutely had to ask.

“What was the Demon King’s plan?”

“Well, I forgot.”

“You really don’t want to tell me?”

“I can’t say more than this. If I tell you, you might get shocked and commit suicide.”

It felt somewhat awkward when Leo mentioned that someone might commit suicide after hearing what he had to say. Now I think I understand why.

That was directed at me.

“Then please tell me one last thing.”

“I’ll hear it and decide.”

“Why did you tell me all this?”

There’s no kindness without reason. So there must be a reason for revealing all this.

As if to prove this, Leo said with a gentle smile.

“You already know, don’t you?”

As Leo said, I vaguely knew the reason for today’s kindness. But I didn’t want to believe it was the truth.

If I found out it was the truth, it would obviously be more tragic.

“I can’t participate in defeating the Demon King. And this is the reason.”

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. I completely agree with that saying.