Ch.41Don’t Leave Me (3)

My heart rate accelerates rapidly. Even without placing a hand on my chest, I realize it. I’ve truly grown fond of being by this person’s side.

I can admit it now.

I’ve developed feelings for Nepy. Now I fear a daily life without him.

‘When did it start?’

When I heard his sincerity directly from his lips?

When Miren rose from her bed and regained her health?

When misunderstandings were cleared and we talked peacefully together?

Hmm, no. Those were certainly joyful and pleasant elements, but they weren’t the decisive factors.

Yet if asked to give a reason, I simply can’t pinpoint anything specific.

That’s why I sought sleep by Nepy’s side.

I wanted to cling closer, to feel him, thinking I might grasp something.

I thought if my vivid, desperate emotions from my dreams could materialize, I might find a clue.

From that perspective, my reason was purely practical.

‘Tell me. Why am I inevitably drawn to you?’

I buried my face against Nepy’s stiff chest. The familiar scent mixed with carefully applied fragrance gave me a strange feeling.

Thump, thump.

I could hear Nepy’s heartbeat.

Like its owner, it made no attempt to hide its tension and excitement. Yet listening to it brought me peace.

I closed my eyes in that position, focusing on Nepy’s sounds.

Without even noticing my nightgown slipping past my shoulders, the tension in my body released.

In complete darkness where only Nepy could be sensed, my consciousness sank into a deep abyss.

◇

[Is this… the scene from the duel?]

I looked down at the familiar landscape recreated before me.

Countless gasps echoed from all around. On the training ground, where disbelieving gazes were fixed, two men exchanged fierce blows.

Bartlant Chester, who boasted skills worthy of holding his head high despite his young age.

He was being pushed back by the arrogant marquess whom everyone had believed would be utterly defeated.

“… How irritating.”

My past self watching the scene moved her lips. It was just a faint murmur, fitting for such an expression.

Simultaneously, the emotions from that time were crammed into my mind, dominating my feelings.

[Ugh?!]

Until now, I had easily accepted that Nepy and Netionpiece were different people.

Nepy was always on the surface, while the contemptible villain Netionpiece never revealed himself.

But judging from His Majesty’s reaction when Miren awoke, it was clear that sometimes he must have appeared on the surface.

They must have spoken directly during private audiences without me.

“I forgot. After all, the fact that there are two souls in one body remains unchanged.”

What should I do?

At this rate, our time, our daily life, will no longer be just ours.

Even when I happily conversed with Nepy, when we held hands and slept, Netionpiece was always there beneath the surface.

I hate it.

I cannot accept it.

The fact that someone uninvited has secretly infiltrated my daily life disgusts me.

“Somehow… I must do something… or I…”

Would Miren, who can see souls, know the answer? If only I could extract Netionpiece’s soul alone, I could solve this dilemma.

I need to eliminate that blackened soul by His Majesty.

The remnants of evil must be eradicated.

…

……

Throb-

“Ah… hnngh…!”

[Yes… this was the sensation… ugh.]

An intense pain seized me, like an awl tightening around my temples. It felt as if each strand of hair had become a needle, stabbing mercilessly.

Emotions from an unknown source swirled within me. Longing and hope, grief and despair welled up like spring water.

Déjà vu.

Terrible déjà vu.

Regret for abandoning myself and living as another being. It was as if I were constantly reminding myself that my current self was false.

Rummaging through my chaotic mind, I rambled incoherently, saying whatever came to mind.

“Miren… where is Miren? The room below the spiral staircase… no, that’s right, she was in the imperial garden. Where is Nepy? Who… who is Nepy? Why does he exist? He wasn’t there before?”

[Did I say such things? Ugh!]

Something that seemed like it would never be grasped, a vague entity, now felt within reach.

Remember. Don’t stop thinking. Open the door hidden in the thick fog. Look at the gray world stained with ashes, the footprints I left behind. Give me confidence in my reason for living.

“Ahak, ahurgh…”

[That’s right. At some point, I began feeling a sense of dissonance with my current life. Ah… hngh!?]

What is the truth? Is this moment truly a dream? If I wake up now, would that be reality?

At that moment, Bartlant drew his Conqueror’s Sword. Netionpiece responded by creating another Conqueror’s Sword through dark magic.

The clash of two men.

The moment Netionpiece brought down his sword.

A terrible pain seized me, as if a blade were wrapped around my neck and tightening.

[Ah… aaaah…! AAAAARGH!!!]

A scream that seemed to tear through space darkened the world. It resembled the death cry of a human being beheaded.

After the scenery completely changed, I saw a hut in the next scene.

In the dark, shabby hut lay the bodies of an elderly couple who had been beheaded.

I knew them.

For some reason, I couldn’t help but know them.

I had caught and killed them as they tried to flee in fear. If they had just stayed still, I would have spared them. I only wanted to gain some peace and a brief respite.

A wicked thought flickered that they, the elderly couple, were the evil ones.

[No, that’s not right. Those people couldn’t have been evil. I… I…!]

As I was sinking into self-loathing, flailing in empty space.

A familiar and unpleasant noise resonated.

Thud. Thud.

Creak-, creeeak-!

A strange figure approached, armored from head to toe in pitch-black heavy armor.

[… Who are you…? Don’t come closer. Don’t look at my indecent inner self.]

“…”

The figure ignored me and continued to close the distance.

Scraaaape-!

A massive nodachi-style greatsword, too large for its body, dragged along the ground, sending sparks flying.

[Ugh… aaaagh!]

It hurts. The pain beyond limits is maddening. My entire body tingles. It’s the sensation of a malicious weapon violating my entire being.

Why do I know this sensation so specifically?

Under the sky filled with the pain of limbs being mutilated, the figure came right up to me.

The figure threw aside the sword and placed hands on its helmet.

Understanding the meaning took but a moment.

He… no, she removed her helmet to reveal her face.

[…]

I met her blue eyes that had lost their light.

She was a horrifying woman with one eye gouged out, her facial balance destroyed. Her skin, wrinkled like crumpled paper, was hideous, and her putrid bloody scent was foul.

Her ash-gray hair reached her feet, dragging in the dirt, making her appear filthy.

“Ah… ee… eh… ee…”

She opened her mouth, producing a sound like grinding metal. Her terribly familiar metallic voice led me to one opaque truth.

[… Ah. I see. So that’s what it was.]

My perception corrects itself. My consciousness is reorganized anew.

The dream world quickly crumbles and distorts, repelling impurities.

What I gained from this vividly imprinted dream was a single conviction. A conviction like an unchanging truth.

I opened my eyes in the returned reality and gazed directly at him, tinged with the indigo of the dawn sky.

I savored the happiness in the embrace of the one I was destined to love.

‘So that’s what it was. My attraction to Nepy was inevitable.’

I still don’t fully understand. But there are vague truths within my grasp.

If the future branches out like countless twigs of a tree, then the greatest divergence point for me would be Nepy’s presence or absence.

And in a world without Nepy, I would inevitably reach an unhappy ending.

My daily life exists because of Nepy’s presence.

Looking back now, there were many strange points.

No matter how valuable a Founding Noble might be, I didn’t dismiss him but negotiated instead. Moreover, I lowered my guard and opened my heart to a villain I should have found utterly detestable.

Our conversations were always honest, and I maintained the utmost courtesy. We laughed and chatted aimlessly, and I readily accepted his jokes.

I even danced with him at an official event for the first time, though there were circumstances.

These were actions that would have been absolutely impossible for the me I knew.

‘Perhaps I had unconsciously sensed it all along. It couldn’t have been otherwise.’

From the day I first encountered Nepy, my fate took a variable turn toward salvation.

I don’t know for what reason I would step into a bad ending in a world without him, or what I would do.

Regardless, in a future without him, my peace wouldn’t even be a mirage.

That’s all I know for now.

‘Hehe, Nepy is my savior.’

For the first time, I whispered with elevated affection.

“Thank you, Nepy. Please don’t leave me.”

Yet at the same time, I harbor anger.

‘But… that’s right. The other villain who shares our time is extremely irritating.’

I’m afraid of what malice might be hidden like a dagger behind the good Nepy.

Thanks to that, Nepy must have many difficulties in daily life. Just like that unintended duel that day.

But don’t worry.

Just as I’ve been gifted a happy future, I’ll eradicate all the malice that troubles Nepy, okay?

‘I promise you. My savior. My daily life, Nepy.’

Unbeknownst to anyone, a jet-black Malice rippled faintly.

◇

Shaaaa…

Suddenly my chest churned and I felt nauseous. As Malice spread throughout my body, it created a sickening disgust.

I had managed to clear my mind and fall asleep, but the surging Malice forced me to wake up.

This was the first time since my battle with Zikharun that my Malice had run wild on its own.

‘Can Malice manifest even in sleep talk?’

If so, the night I slept next to Miren was an enormous risk. She could have died without anyone knowing.

Of course, the woman sleeping peacefully in my arms wouldn’t be affected by even a speck of it.

I slowly gathered my Malice. Then I looked at Irefi and calmed my agitated heart.

‘No wonder Netionpiece went mad. Handling this energy continuously would drive anyone insane.’

However, the current Netionpiece was an exception. Perhaps due to centuries of adaptation, he showed no signs of bearing any risk.

Could Irefi be having nightmares because of this malicious energy?

I suddenly felt worried.

“Mmm.”

As if to ease my concerns, she made a peaceful murmur. Though it wasn’t a planned action, I found it adorable.

“That’s one thing, but this is dangerous…!”

Her collarbone, where my breath had been touching for who knows how long, was damp with moisture.

As I wondered what to do, unable to touch her lovely form.

She murmured again and shifted.

“Mmm, Nepy.”

Her pure white hair tickled my neck. Moreover, Irefi’s breath, drawing ever closer, added to the heat.

Finally, her lips approached the area connecting my collarbone and Adam’s apple.

In the sudden emergency that unfolded in an instant, I experienced a dizzying threat that made my soul tremble.

Chu.

‘Hnnnngh!?’

I desperately pushed back the scream that threatened to escape, swallowing it deep in my throat.

Irefi’s cherry-blossom-colored lips traced between my collarbone and chest. I tightly closed my eyes at the sensation that was almost ecstatic.

If I didn’t, I felt I might lose myself to the impulse.

Her action was surely a catastrophe that occurred during sleep talk, and I couldn’t allow myself to indulge in vulgar and lewd fantasies.

“Ha… Irefi, you’ll definitely be punished someday…”

A voice too soft for her to hear as she pressed against my chest. It was an ambiguous cry positioned between pain and pleasure.

Just that much whimpering filled the indigo-filled dawn sky.