Ch.416IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (113)

If it doesn’t hurt, that’s a lie.

Being cut and torn apart couldn’t help but hurt. Even I used to make a fuss when I just got a paper cut before having a profession.

No, I often made such a fuss in ordinary daily life too. I didn’t like feeling pain in situations where I shouldn’t have to.

How about now?

The pain in my body has subsided. This body doesn’t retain scars anyway. No matter how many times I’m cut or torn.

Probably, my body won’t ever be severed either. Yes. This was different from Koko. Even when I was mauled by that bear-like monster, I was able to maintain my physical form.

I do wonder if I should have asked more questions to that thing that spoke to me, but well, it doesn’t matter now. Anyway, I survived like this.

Probably, my family is all safe too.

When I opened my eyes, the ceiling I saw wasn’t the same one I had been looking at until yesterday. Though I had only seen that place once since we were just visiting.

Not the ceiling of a house where ordinary people live, but the ceiling of some large building. A typical design.

My body… I couldn’t move.

It wasn’t that my body was tied up or anything—

No. In some sense, maybe it was.

Kagami, lying next to me, was hugging me so tightly that it was a little difficult to breathe.

Only after realizing that did I feel her warmth. It was a warmth that made me feel at ease whenever I felt it. Because it was my mother’s embrace. The embrace that I, who had lost my entire family in my previous life, regretted losing only after everything was gone.

“…”

Plus, Koko was also stuck right next to me, making it even more difficult to move.

As I was wondering what to do.

“Kotone.”

I heard Kagami calling me.

My body stiffened at that voice.

Kagami’s embrace was warm and always what I wanted, but Kagami’s expressions weren’t always what I wanted to see.

I liked it when Kagami smiled. I wanted her to smile happily, hug me tightly as if I was really too cute, and pat my head. After all, these are all things that become difficult to do once you become an adult.

Still, I thought she could at least continue to smile.

But Kagami’s voice calling me was low.

“Kotone. How are you feeling?”

Kagami asked while still holding me tightly. When I turned my head, Kagami still had her eyes closed. Looking as if she could fall asleep just like this.

“…I’m fine now.”

I answered like that, thinking she probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.

“…”

After staying silent for a moment, Kagami quietly spoke again.

“Always, like that…?”

“No, even so, not always.”

I answered clearly. At least this wasn’t a lie, so I could say it without much thought.

“Not always, you say.”

“Ah, well…”

But I was flustered and couldn’t properly answer Kagami’s following words.

Saying it’s not always like that means, conversely, that there are situations where it ‘isn’t always like that.’

“…In the end, I knew you would live this kind of life, but I still didn’t want to see you getting hurt like this.”

What should I say to that?

Kagami is my mother. I am Kagami’s daughter.

And that daughter collapsed before her eyes, cut and torn all over. Covered in blood.

But Kagami could do almost nothing for me. Because that fight was mine.

I found it extremely difficult to imagine how she felt.

I can only imagine that it’s not much different from how I felt when I lost my family.

“I’m sorry for being this kind of mother.”

Until I heard those words.

My heart ached. Not just because it was beating hard, but it literally felt like someone was gouging out my chest.

“Not being able to help at all…”

“No.”

I cut off Kagami’s words.

And I forcibly turned my body to lie facing Kagami. Escaping a bit from Koko’s arm that was firmly holding mine, I hugged Kagami with that arm and buried my face in her embrace.

“No.”

Yes. Absolutely not.

The reason I was born into this world, honestly, I don’t know well either. Perhaps I’ll never know.

But I don’t think that’s what matters.

I could have been born in any world. I could have been born as anyone in this world.

If I had become Shii, I would have grown up thinking that’s what a mother is supposed to be like from childhood. In that world, neither I nor the current Kagami would have existed, so I probably would have continued living in that state until Souta saved me.

Kagami escaped with me even from a situation that might have been even more terrible than that.

And somehow managed to feed me. Not once did she abuse me, not once did she not try to keep me from going hungry. Even at that young age.

Even at an age when she should still have been protected as someone’s daughter.

If that’s not sacrifice, who in this world can be said to live sacrificially?

“I’m here because of you, Mom.”

So this time too, I could say it decisively without any hesitation.

My being here isn’t because of anyone else. It’s thanks to Kagami.

So, it’s okay even if she doesn’t do anything. If she just watches over me living from there. If she just smiles at me occasionally and hugs me warmly like this.

I can be satisfied with that.

Kagami opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again.

And she just hugged me, pulling me further into her embrace.

*

Of course, Kagami wasn’t the only one worried about me.

Fortunately, Shii, Souta, and Nanami didn’t see me covered in blood. The three of them were still asleep.

Though Souta did come out saying he could sense yokai, it doesn’t seem to be that severe yet.

I was said to have been suddenly taken to the emergency room in the middle of the night.

…Well, that’s not exactly wrong. I did actually go to the emergency room. However, it seems to be a hospital designated by the government, one specifically for people like me.

But even though those three, who are still ordinary people, didn’t see us, there are still many people worried about me.

First, Koko.

Since waking up this morning, Koko had been sticking to me. At least Kagami let me go when I got out of bed, but Koko had been hugging me tightly from the side all this time.

She was even hugging my arms completely, so I was quite restricted in my movements.

And watching the two of us like this, with a very complicated expression, was Yuka.

“…”

It can’t help but be complicated.

Her friend nearly died covered in blood. After the situation ended, there was some strange magic circle drawn on my wrist, and the knife I was holding was made from my own blood. It was so much blood that it left a red mark on the sandy beach after everything was over.

But thanks to that power, many people were able to survive.

And it will probably be useful in the future too. When fighting against beings that seem impossible to defeat. When fighting against too many enemies.

No, even if not, yokai are stronger than ordinary people to begin with. If there’s a power to cut them down in one stroke, there’s not much better than that.

And I won’t die either.

But at the same time, it’s obvious that someone like Yuka would tell me not to use such power. Even the original Yuka kept trying to separate Souta from his power after learning about it.

Though it was Souta’s role to always help Yuka by meddling like a true protagonist.

“You…”

Yuka tried to choose her words, then sighed deeply.

And after scratching her head,

“Are you okay?”

She just changed the subject completely, not bringing up that topic at all.

Do the government people know? I’m not sure, but at least Yuka will talk to her father and grandfather. Because the sense of duty Yuka has is by no means small.

“Yes. I’m fine now.”

“…I see.”

Yuka seemed to have decided to reserve judgment for a bit. It can’t be helped. The more conclusions you draw one by one, the more strangely tangled your thoughts become on this matter.

If you consider efficiency, you should let me use the power, but then a close friend gets hurt. But those wounds heal quickly so— that kind of logic would endlessly cycle.

The best method would probably be for me to just use it right away, but—

“…”

Kagami’s glare at me is fierce.

Her appearance of smiling slightly at the corners of her mouth while peeling fruit was always that of a benevolent mother, but I wonder if I’m the only one who finds that appearance somewhat threatening.

…Well, whatever.

In the end, my head is just as complicated.

What should I do from now on?

It seems I’ll need some time to reach a conclusion.