Ch.415IF Side Story: Seems I’ve Arrived a Bit Early (112)

I could feel my recovery ability keeping pace with the rate I was getting injured.

That’s what I was worried about.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t concerned about dying.

It’s not because of some noble reason like sacrificing my life to protect someone. Rather, it’s because every time I faced death, there was someone who met me.

“It seems a bit overwhelming for you.”

Yes. This voice.

It was this voice.

The one that seemed to care about me.

Was it this voice that pushed me here? To prevent me from living happily.

“Are you afraid of me? Or perhaps you seem doubtful.”

The voice said.

Everything around me stopped.

The world was already quiet. Nests have a peculiar aspect—when you enter one, all sounds of the world fade away, leaving only me, Yuka, and the yokai.

You can’t hear the distant sounds of cars passing by or people chatting. Not even the sound of trees swaying in the wind.

After all movement stopped, there was nothing but absolute silence.

Several tentacles were rushing toward Yuka. It wasn’t a pleasant sight. Obviously, a monster attacking a friend is never good, but the imagery made it worse.

Novels of this era often include strange elements supposedly targeting slightly older readers. To ensure one never finds happiness. It’s a strange story. Scars never disappear no matter how much time passes. Yet they deliberately leave scars like tattoos, using loss and growth as excuses. On both body and mind.

That hasn’t happened yet. None of the characters in the novels I read showed such tendencies. But this place wasn’t so much inside a novel as it was a world severely distorted because of me.

“Is it a sin to wish for happiness?”

I asked without thinking.

A question I couldn’t ask Kagami. A question I couldn’t ask my friends.

“Do you think it’s a sin?”

‘She’ asked.

“…I’m not sure. Sin is ultimately defined as such because someone decided it was.”

“I suppose so. The things you and those around you call laws, the things you call morals. Stepping outside them seems to be what you call sin.”

She made a laughing sound and said.

“No, I don’t think wishing for something can be a sin. Wishing is just wishing.”

“…”

I kept my mouth shut.

The voice had always subtly told me such things. As if looking out for me. When speaking of others, she used an authoritative voice, as if looking down on them.

“I don’t know about your morality or that of the group you belong to. But I do know that even with different lines, there are things needed to protect what’s within those lines.”

‘She’ said.

Whispering softly into my ear.

“Power. You need power.”

Yes. That’s right.

The scope of the word “power” is comprehensive. It might simply mean the strength to lift something. But usually, when saying “you need power,” it refers to the overall ability to do something.

“You are my lamb.”

‘She’ said.

“I don’t particularly wish to see you perish like this.”

“…Then?”

“Since I told you to live happily, wouldn’t it be good to give you the power to be happy?”

“Now of all times?”

There had been several occasions to see me. The voice had already saved me twice.

“To receive power, you need a body that’s complete enough. Like your sister.”

I couldn’t say anything to that voice tinged with amusement.

“Your small body has almost fully grown now. You won’t die bleeding while trying to do something. It would be better if you grew a bit more, but I think it’s best to be satisfied with this much. That’s just how humans are.”

She proposed.

“Then, let’s make a contract.”

“If I make a contract, will I be able to protect them?”

“That depends on your hands. Power varies depending on how it’s wielded. Still, if you intend to do so, wouldn’t you be able to?”

“…Can I be happy?”

“That too depends on how you think. If you decide to protect no matter what, and if that makes you happy, isn’t that enough?”

I couldn’t answer that.

I just nodded.

“Good.”

‘She’ smiled.

“Then it’s done. Watch and see. I will be watching.”

As if playing with words, she spoke in a rather cheerful voice.

Suddenly, the wrist I had cut burned as if on fire. I couldn’t scream.

My arm twisted upward, the wound facing the sky.

The wound opened and took the shape of an eye. Red tears from the pupil rose drop by drop from the ground toward the sky.

Each of those drops slowly thinned and lengthened, becoming threads.

Those threads extending from my wound gradually formed a blade from top to bottom, as if weaving a garment. It looked like watching a 3D printer.

It soon became a red sword. A fairly long sword, similar in size to the one Yuka was holding.

My hand moved on its own to grasp the sword. The handle was warm. Like the blood just drawn.

On my wrist, something was drawn in red.

I could no longer hear her voice.

But I immediately understood what she wanted me to do with it.

I swung the sword. With just a light swing, as if a very strong and sturdy wire was connected to the tip of my sword, it split in half even parts my sword hadn’t touched.

Since these yokai extremely despised my blood, they naturally screamed. Though I couldn’t tell from where.

The octopus’s legs split vertically like pointed shells.

And blood splattered.

“…Kotone?”

Yuka looked at me, momentarily frozen.

Yuka was also soaked in blood here and there. Some wounds were visible too. I hope they won’t leave scars.

Judging from the lack of scar descriptions in the novel, maybe Yuka also has her own way of healing wounds without scarring.

…I’ll think about that later.

There was something more important now.

I gripped the sword tightly. Though I had never learned how to wield a sword.

For now, let’s try swinging it.

Isn’t it a sword given by a god?

It should be able to handle monsters.

“Yuka.”

“…Yes.”

Though she still hadn’t fully grasped what was happening, Yuka followed my movements when she saw me move.

We can probably do this.

Somehow, I felt that way.

*

*

*

I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn’t feel the children in my arms.

It wasn’t simply that the children were gone, but probably because the midnight air was that cold. The warm presence of the children in my arms was gone.

If one child had disappeared, I might have thought they went to get water. But both of them being gone…

Could they be talking somewhere?

Feeling anxious, I got up. The only person I could see was Ms. Maeda.

Carefully rising so as not to wake Ms. Maeda, I went downstairs.

The only child sleeping in the living room was Nanami.

I felt a chill down my spine.

Feeling somewhat urgent, I turned my head and noticed the living room door slightly open.

I quickly moved through that door.

Please, don’t let it be.

Without even knowing what I was hoping against, I stepped outside.

In the distance, on the beach. I could see Koko’s silhouette.

Kotone was nowhere to be seen.

Before I knew it, I was running outside without shoes, crossing the road, and running across the sandy beach.

“Kotone?”

Koko tilted her head, looking at the empty air. I seemed to understand what that meant—

My heart leaped.

I was the one who said it would be okay to come here. I was the one who reassured Kotone, embracing her worries.

It was greed. Yes, it had been a while since we’d traveled like this. I thought it would be fine for a while since Kosuzu had lost her power.

“Kotone!”

I shouted without thinking. Even knowing she wouldn’t hear me.

“Mom?”

Koko turned around and called me. She still didn’t seem to understand what was happening.

“Kotone, where’s Kotone?”

Even as I grabbed Koko’s shoulders and pressed her, I knew she wouldn’t know. Koko just tilted her head.

As I was about to call for Kotone again, I suddenly smelled blood.

A smell I had encountered before.

Back then too, Kotone was…

“Kotone!”

I could see someone calling Kotone’s name. I saw someone catching Kotone as she collapsed.

Before I knew it, I was running again.

Holding the small child in my arms—I realized something was wet. The child’s body was soaked. Not with seawater, not with sweat.

With blood.

Probably blood that this child had shed.

“Mom.”

A cracked voice called me.

The child was smiling. Why was she smiling in this situation? It wouldn’t be strange if she cried in pain or screamed in resentment toward me.

The child raised her hand and touched my face.

Her wrist was split open. Seeing the blood welling up from that terribly split gap, I froze.

The red sword that had fallen carelessly beside the child melted, becoming a lump of blood before disappearing.

Where the blood from her wrist had passed, I could faintly see some kind of shape.

“Ah, ah,”

I should say something, but the words wouldn’t come. As if my throat was blocked. My eyes were blurred with tears, so I just squeezed them shut.

I just held Kotone tightly in my arms.

The child I had sworn to protect, the child I should have protected.

Is this what they call fate? Is it impossible to do well what I thought I was doing well?

Yes, it’s all my fault.

The child had already been suffering. After the first battle, she rarely came back with blood on her body—

But it must have always been like this.

It must have always been like this.

Always, always.

Do I have the right to cry in front of this child? I’m not sure. But I couldn’t help the sobs escaping through my clenched teeth.

What should I do?

What should I…